February 2020 Moms

Child Care

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Re: Child Care

  • This thread is giving me such anxiety.  Lol
    I'm so afraid to send my baby somewhere but we need both incomes and I don't think we can really afford day care, but we make too much money to qualify for a lot of assistance. 
    brookert615
  • @babyroma I’m sorry you are feeling anxious. You still have awhile to figure it out! Home daycares are usually much cheaper - there are places here that are only $200/week and I live in a HCOL area.  I hope we weren’t too blunt - just would hate for you to think you can WFH with a baby and then be scurrying to find a place last minute. 
    Me: 38, DH: 36 
    Married Jan 2008 
    DD Baby Bells born Dec 2016 5 lbs, 12 oz, 18" <3 so in love <3
    Due with #2 Baby Arya EDD February 2020


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  • @leksiL
    No worries, I'm just a big worry wart! I like to have backup plans so I've been thinking about this a bit.
    I was talking to H today about it and he could possibly keep his schedule then we find somebody to watch baby the 3 days a week where we have a work overlap (he has mon/tues off and I have weekends, the rest of the week I'm 8-5 and hes 2-10pm). We'll find something that works! I found today that supposedly we have an emergency daycare option program with work, so I might ask them if there's any daily options because the company it's through has a location literally down the road from his work. 
    brookert615nhh11
  • SwiftletSwiftlet member
    edited August 2019
    So we’ve looked at three places thus far, hoping to look at a fourth and final one next week. One was just not a fit for us, the other two we really liked with one being significantly less expensive. The less expensive one doesn’t serve lunch to any age group, except on “fun lunch Fridays” (pizza, nuggets, etc) They provide two snacks per day, less healthy stuff than more expensive place (more traditional kid stuff like pancakes, animal crackers, goldfish, etc. Not foods I’m opposed to by any means but the other place does lean meats, veggies/fruits, etc) They do let you store frozen breast milk there though which was nice.

    How big of a deal would the no-lunch -provided thing be? It would let us choose healthy options on our own for their lunches to balance out the less healthy snacks but it also means we’d have to back two lunches every day for their early years. Just not sure how much of a pain in the butt that would be.

    Less expensive place also doesn’t have any stored security footage, just live-feed in classrooms available only to the admins. Expensive place has in room cameras parents can look in on at any time.

    Thoughts please! :)
    brookert615
  • @Swiftlet We pack lunch and 2 snacks daily and I prefer it to food being provided. I like deciding when my kid gets junk vs health food based on my mood and our plans (junk before a babysitter? Sure! junk before a Friday evening on the road? No way in hell...)

    brookert615leksiLSwiftlet
  • @swiftlet until next week, DD has gone to a daycare with lunch provided. I will say that it is nice because she tries new foods that she wouldn't necessarily eat at home. She eats veggies with her friends but will she eat them at home, no way! Sigh. However one summer they served tuna sandwiches every other Friday so she seemed to go hungry. You know when your kids are in a growth spurt so can send extra food.

    Good things about packing lunches are control over what they are eating, coordinating lunch with dinner (i.e. they probably wo'nt get pizza 2x in one day by accident), and cutting them to size that you prefer. Our school cuts food way too small - we followed BLW.

    The frozen breastmilk part is amazing. Our new place will accept frozen and I swear it will save us all the time we are missing packing lunches.
    Me: 38, DH: 36 
    Married Jan 2008 
    DD Baby Bells born Dec 2016 5 lbs, 12 oz, 18" <3 so in love <3
    Due with #2 Baby Arya EDD February 2020


    brookert615craftywitchSwiftlet
  • My daughter’s DC provides all snacks and lunch. I was so thankful when she went back this week because I was so sick of figuring out what to feed her for lunch every day. Not having to spend the mental energy and time on it is worth it to me. 
    Swiftletrikiteacup
  • @Swiftlet DD1 is in elementary school and I pack lunch and two snacks everyday for her. It’s really not a big deal especially when it becomes routine. I either do it before bed or if it’s something that needs to stay warm in her thermos, I will pack when they are all eating breakfast in the morning. If you are a planner, you could even meal plan out the lunches before the week starts so you know ahead of time what you will pack. 
    Swiftlet
  • My children are in preschool 2 and 3 days a week. They do not provide snacks or lunch. I’m totally fine with packing lunches because 1) I’m in control of it and 2) I know what they like 
    they do not provide any cameras, but I’m totally fine with that. We do have cameras at home for sitters though and those have come in handy before. 
    Swiftletbrookert615
  • Im exceptionally lucky. I don't have to look for daycare options. I work at a family business (Inlaws) and when I come back to work the baby will be coming with me. We are currently planning how to rearrange my office to accommodate a pack and play.
    Swiftletmandk1233lanie1000craftywitch
  • Im exceptionally lucky. I don't have to look for daycare options. I work at a family business (Inlaws) and when I come back to work the baby will be coming with me. We are currently planning how to rearrange my office to accommodate a pack and play.
    That may work for like the first 6-8 months. What will you do after that? 
  • I agree with @jessieR358
    @catwood1703 this sounds great on paper but I don't think this is realistic in the long run. It's not like your baby can chill for hours in the pack n' play by themselves. They will need someone to engage with them at some point. And what if your baby can't nap and cries for hours?
    TTC#1
    10/2018: MFI (2 SA under 9 million/ml)
    11/2018: HSG shows right Fallopian tube slightly damaged 
    1/2019: Husband diagnosed with grade 3 varicocele
    4/05/2019: varicocele repair surgery
    6/13/2019: BFP!!! EDD: 2/22/2020 <3  Baby girl born 2/27/2020
    7/18/2019: Total Motile Count at 3 months post surgery = 51 millions!! (number must be >20 millions to conceive naturally).

    TTC #2
    9/07/2021: BFP - CP: 9/10/2021
    10/07/2021: BFP - CP: 10/23/2021
    12/23/2021: BFP! EDD: 08/31/2022

    leksiL
  • @catwood1703 I hope you have a lot of help around the office watching baby. The few times I've worked from home with a baby I have gotten absolutely nothing done. They demand mommy's attention all the time and frankly they need it. This sounds inordinately stressful to me - having separation from work and home is so important.
    Me: 38, DH: 36 
    Married Jan 2008 
    DD Baby Bells born Dec 2016 5 lbs, 12 oz, 18" <3 so in love <3
    Due with #2 Baby Arya EDD February 2020


  • Haha I am just thinking of sitting here at work and my 2 year old daughter singing "Days of the Week" for the 600th time (the first 500 times were getting ready this morning) and climbing and jumping off the side of the pack n play and then asking me to read her a story. @celticknotfire - this idea might actually get my blood pressure up maybe it will help with our headaches :-D 
    Me: 38, DH: 36 
    Married Jan 2008 
    DD Baby Bells born Dec 2016 5 lbs, 12 oz, 18" <3 so in love <3
    Due with #2 Baby Arya EDD February 2020


    celticknotfirebrookert615
  • Then work wont get done. Its not the first time it's been done this way. Both of my Brother in Laws (now 9 and 18) were done the same.
  • I wont get into what we do or what my specific job is, but I will also basically be working from home with maternity anyway.
  • @catwood1703 I work at a small company, so I will be bringing my baby for the first year. That is about as long as I can last, because once he or she is mobile, they will definitely need to go to daycare. But I agree with you, that bringing your baby to work can definitely work! My coworker (friend) brought both of her children here for a year each. I helped when she was overwhelmed or busy with something, as did other coworkers of ours. I have already got told by my coworkers that if I don't bring my baby in, I am in trouble. ;-) So as stressful as it can be sometimes, and work might not get done right when it needs to, it is so wonderful to be able to have that extra time with your baby before having to take to daycare.
  • @catwood1703 and @bg122785, I hope it works for both of you that your babies cooperate while you have them at work. You can’t pick the personality of the kid though. My DD walked at 9 months, there is no way she could have been contained to an office space. Honestly, it wouldn’t have been fair to her. 

    I’ll be the one to say it, kids need more enriching stimulation than sitting in an office. 🤷🏼‍♀️
    leksiLfallonpartyfor2
  • @jvk2012 I am curious why you think that the baby will not be able to stimulated enough while in an office setting? What is the difference than if I were to be a stay at home Mom and was at home with the baby? My office is large enough to bring a swing for the baby, a bouncer, any age appropriate item I would use while at home. Also, there is a large area to lay out a blanket, so he/she can lay on a blanket with toy mat when it is not able to sit up and when sitting I will be able to put out all of its toys to play with. As my child's mother, I will engage with my child and provide an enriching environment. He/she will be able to interact with my 2 other coworkers who LOVE children, as well as my daughter when she gets out of school. So, my baby is not going to be trapped in a cage and left to stare at a ceiling all day. And as soon as my child is extremely mobile, and walking or if it is just not working out, obviously he/she would go to daycare. 
  • @catwood1703 I think what makes you exceptionally lucky is the fact that it's okay for work to not get done. I really wish I had that luxury. My experiences were closer to what @leksiL described. Working from home with the baby meant I could only get maybe 25% of what I needed to get done completed. And that little bit was only done when she slept. Anytime she was up, she required my full attention. 

    That said, it's great that your in-laws have created an office environment where raising kids is a priority!
    mandk1233leksiL
  • @lanie1000 My job allows me the luxury of extreme flexibility. And while I find it infuriating at times (the inlaws) I have always believed I've been lucky to have this position here.
    lanie1000
  • @bg122785, I was fortunate enough to stay home for the first 6 months with my daughter. We didn’t stay home at all. We went to library story times even at 2 months old. We ran errands. We met up with friends with kids.  I talked to her constantly about what we were doing. When she was on her play mat I was near her. There is no way I could do any of that if I had to focus one iota of attention on work. 
  • @jvk2012 that sounds wonderful. You are very lucky you get 6 months off to be home and bond with your child. I am able to stay home 8 weeks maximum (last pregnancy was only 6). So, instead of handing my basically newborn off to someone, I will soak up every extra minute I can with my child by having him/her at work. And if I was home, I personally would not be taking this new baby out to all of those places due to it being the middle of winter and cold and flu season. And I am also not one to take a 2 month old to story time. But to each is their own. And while all office settings have different scenarios, I am very lucky to work at a small company, with a very family like setting, and will be able to interact with my child all day long just as if I was at home and give him or her all of the attention they need and deserve. I am damn thankful that my job allows, support and encourages this, I will get to have the extra time to bond with my child and still continue to get paid. Just insulting that one would automatically assume that by bringing an infant to the workplace that you would be denying the child an "enriching and stimulating" environment when one does not know anything about the environment the child will be in.
  • @bg122785, clearly you work in a very unique office. Lucky you. 
    leksiL
  • @bg122785 I don't think anyone intended to be insulting; I think they were trying to be helpful. I know for myself as a first time mama I sometimes don't totally realize what I am getting into and having feedback from more experienced moms can be helpful. That being said, it does sound like maybe you do have a work environment where you bringing your baby in could work which is awesome. 
    jvk2012leksiLjessieR358
  • @mandk1233 I understand your point of view. I just think that if someone is truly giving advice or feedback, it can be worded better than "I’ll be the one to say it" and ended with that emoji. I am not one to take things personally or be petty but I just didn't care for how it was worded and the assumption that having a child in the workplace would not provide that child an enriching and stimulating environment. But it is what it is. Just my opinion. :)
  • @bg122785 You are absolutely entitled to your feelings about what was said. I just wanted to offer an alternative view of what went down since I often find that intent can get lost when we can't read tone or facial expressions. 
    lanie1000
  • I am hopelessly behind in this endeavor! I spent the weekend scouring the State of MN website for licensed daycares (both in home and centers) and have a list of about 16 to call. The plan is to first see which have the room for an infant, and interview/tour from there.

    My question is: what is the etiquette around calling an in-home daycare? Very few have websites or emails, and all I have is a phone number. I assumed I shouldn't call during the day, as they are busy tending to kids. It feels intrusive to call during evenings or weekends, because that is their "off time." Thoughts??
  • I stayed home with my baby and now I'm wondering how different 0-6 month olds are. My baby slept way more than he was ever awake and seemed to find watching me fold laundry while I watched Netflix plenty stimulating. We'd go to the zoo and stuff, but mainly so I could drink beer with my mom friends while he slept the entire time...

    @malloryfrommn I'd try to call at the end of the day if you can. Like if they have hours 7am-5pm try calling around 5:15pm when they're still likely finishing up from the day, but the kids have gone home.
    brookert615malloryfrommnleksiL
  • @malloryfrommn I've called and left VMs, under the assumption that they will call back when they have a free moment. That's been working for me for both in-home and traditional daycares.
    brookert615malloryfrommnSwiftlet
  • @malloryfrommn, I would call and leave a message during the day and ask them to call you back at their convenience. 
    malloryfrommn
  • thats really nice post )
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