Feeling overwhelmed — The Bump
1st Trimester

Feeling overwhelmed

Hi all, 

I'm about 5 weeks, 3 days. The pregnancy was planned but happened much faster than anticipated (within a few weeks after stopping bc). I know I should be excited and grateful but we just moved and my husband's job situation recently became less certain than we thought it was. In addition to life stuff, I find all of the pregnancy stuff on here and other apps/sites kind of overwhelming. Like I'm supposed to not only be completely adjusting my life for pregnancy but also planning everything for the birth and breastfeeding and starting a college fund and picking out daycare and reading parenting books and... Everything? It feels like I am supposed to make 5,000 decisions and plans at one time and I'm feeling super overwhelmed. Anyone else know what I mean? It makes me feel like I'll never be a good mom. 

Re: Feeling overwhelmed

  • leksiLleksiL member
    Being pregnant is overwhelming. Calm down and have a nice glass of water. All of this stuff will sort itself out. I would definitely start looking at daycares in the next couple of months because they can have waiting lists but everything else can wait. You can sign up for a Bradley class when you are 6 months in and they will go over all the birth/breastfeeding stuff. My daughter is 2.5 and I've never cracked a parenting book but am a damn good mom. (podcasts while driving are your friend!) As far as all the crap that comes along with having a baby, going with a friend to a store to pick out stuff for your registry makes it much easier. I tried to do it alone the first time and got super overwhelmed and was so relieved when someone went with me. 

    Focus on your well-being right now because that is what is important. Take your pre-natal and extra B6 because you are about to hit the MS stage of your pregnancy and as someone in that stage I am just focused on survival mode right now. Go to yoga class, go on a nice walk. It will all be ok.
    Me: 38, DH: 36 
    Married Jan 2008 
    DD Baby Bells born Dec 2016 5 lbs, 12 oz, 18" <3 so in love <3
    Due with #2 Baby Arya EDD February 2020

  • @knottiec9a67cadd70cbd70 Completely normal to feel overwhelmed. And short answer to your question... YES... you DO have to now think of all those things. Luckily you have 9 months (God willing) to process it. Right now my suggestion to you is to take a deep breath and focus on taking care of you right now. It's still early in the game, and the 1st Trimester is a doozie! Everything else will fall into place along the way. 

    I'm in my second pregnancy. Although it was not exactly planned- I very much wanted a second child. The second those two lines showed up, I had a feeling of *oh sh!t!* I still have no idea how I'm going to do this with 2 kids- it's all very real all of a sudden. 

    The fact that you have those feelings solidifies that you're going to be just fine and a great mom. All those things you're worried about are proof you just want the best for your child. Try to relax and don't overthink it. One thing at a time.

    Me: 36 / DH: 37
    Met: 9/21/08
    Married: 10/5/13
    BFP #1- 2/5/17 * EDD- 10/18/17 * DD born- 10/25/17
    BFP #2 3/18/19 * EDD 11/25/19* DS born 11/30/19
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  • Thank you both for your kind responses. It's nice to hear that it's normal to feel this way. Hopefully as I calm down I can get a clear head and start to make some plans day by day. 
  • My 4th baby was a total shock. My youngest before her is 6 so needless to say we had no baby stuff left and were starting from scratch. I definitely had that panic feeling at the beginning. We were just finally getting finished with daycare and had to start all over. And we have moved to a place where good daycares have long waiting lists. So that became priority 1. She was on a list at 2 places before I was out of the 1st tri! 
    I started an amazon registry as a list for myself and started watching for sales on big items like car seats and crib bedding (the discount they give you on the remaining registry items near your due date is nice too!). If you have any friends or family that recently had little ones, ask if they have anything they'd be willing to share. I got a crib and a ton of clothes that way. 
    After doing this 4 times, I also realized that babies don't need HGTV nurseries. Functionality is more important so don't think you need to design a fancy nursery. That can save you a ton of time and effort. Instead of a dresser for this one we went with a 6 cube organizer that we plan on turning into toy storage when she gets bigger. I love it. 
    Priority #1 for you right now is to take care of yourself. You'll get to everything else as your pregnancy progresses. Join your month board. It helps to have people to talk to and get ideas from. Keep a checklist as you think of things you need to do or questions you have, especially questions for your doctor. I would always be forgetting questions I wanted to ask until after my appointment because pregnancy brain is real!
    Just take a deep breath and enjoy being pregnant. You'll be fine!
  • I feel what you are going through. The fact that you are worried means you care. I am 6 weeks and I am moving to another state far away from my family and I can’t get a transfer with my job. I feel the stress. To the point where I have become an unemotional robot. It’s hard but this is a great support system. And you can always talk to your doctor. 
  • @squishees I feel you on the unemotional robot thing... I feel like that is what I've turned into due to stress, anxiety, etc.  :-\ 
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