1st trimester check in, week of 7/8 - Page 2 — The Bump
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1st trimester check in, week of 7/8

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Re: 1st trimester check in, week of 7/8

  • @cigaline oh I’m sorry you’ve had such a big row. I also hate personal confrontations.

    Yours sounds a bit similar to the one we had Thursday evening - I was tired, emotional, nauseous, hungry all at once and DH came home after working 14 hours each day the last weeks for an IT project go live. We also have so many half finished projects in our house, most of which are like that because I don’t have the skills to finish them, and now the other half I would have done I can’t/won’t do (painting, going through heavy boxes in the attic...). DH loves starting and doing the “big” parts of projects - I like finishing one thing before you start the next!
    These times in first tri are fraught with so many changes physically and emotionally, let alone with such a major job change. I don’t want to offer to much relative advice but with my DH I need to leave him a few hours first (which pains me no end) and then I have to approach him and let him fully say his piece before I say anything. 

    I know it’s money, but can you maybe think to get a cleaner for a few weeks until you hopefully bloom in 2nd tri? Or ask a relative or some good friends to help you out? And maybe if you have one good day you could batch cook and freeze lots of meals so you only need to microwave them in the evening and it doesn’t create too much extra dirty dishes each day? I think a few small things would make a difference so you don’t get to that one point that tips either of you over the edge too often.

    Hope you manage to settle things during the day  <3
    Me 41 DH 43
    Married 12/2016
    TTC #1 since 04/2015
    AMA, DOR (AMH 0.65, AFC 2-4) and autoimmune issues (RA, APS), low TSH, adenomyosis
    7 retrievals, 3 transfers
    Jun19 FET BFP, due date 7th March 2020, DD born Feb20
    Sep17 IVF1 - 1ER, 1F, 1ET, BFN
    Nov17 IVF2 - 1ER, 0F
    Jan18 IVF3 - 3ER, 1F, 1ET, BFN
    Feb18 - second opinion and additional testing
    Apr18 IVF4 - cancelled (E2 too high)
    May/Jun18 IVF4 - 4ER, 0M, 1F, 1 frozen day 3 (not best quality)
    Jun/Jul18 IVF5 - 5 ER, 3M, 2F, 2 frozen day 3 (not best quality)
    Jul/Aug18 IVF6 - 4ER, 3M, 2F, 2 frozen day 3 (good quality)
    Aug/Sep18 IVF7 - cancelled (cyst)
    Sep/Oct18 IVF7 - 3ER, 3M, 2F, 2 frozen Day 3 (excellent quality)
    Oct18 IVF8 - Cancelled (cyst and too low TSH)
    Oct18-Jan19 bringing TSH under control
    Feb19 ERA and hysteroscopy
    Mar19 Investigation for fibroid and adenomyosis
    Apr19 adenomyosis confirmed, polyps removed
    Jun19 FET after 2 months Lupron, autoimmune protocol, transferred two day 3 frozen embryos
    Sep17 - Pergoveris 10-17 Sep, Orgalutran 15-18 Sep, Ovitrelle 18 Sep, ER 20 Sep for 2 follies, 1 mature egg, fertilized, ET 1x 2d 4-cell embryo 22/09, 05/10 BFN
    Nov17 IVF2 - Pergoveris 2-14 Nov, Orgalutran 5-14 Nov, Ovitrelle 15 Nov, ER 17 Nov for 3 follies, 1 mature egg, did not fertilize
    Jan18 IVF3 - Pergoveris 30 Dec - 8 Jan, Orgalutran 5-8 Jan, Ovitrelle 9 Jan, ER 11 Jan 3 eggs, 2 mature, 1 fertilized, ET 1x 4d 12-cell embryo 15/01, 24/01 BFN
    May/Jun18 IVF4 - Rekovelle 25-29 May, Menogon 30May - 2Jun, Zomacton 25 27 29 31 May and 2Jun, Cetrotide 30May - 3Jun, Gonasi 3Jun, ER 5Jun 4 eggs, none mature, two matured overnight, 1 fertilized with ICSI, Frozen day 3 but not good quality
    Jun/Jul18 IVF5 - Rekovelle 21-24 June, Menogon 25Jun-3Jul, Puregon 4-5Jul, Zomacton 21 23 25 27 29 Jun, Cetrotide 25Jun-5Jul, Gonasi 6Jul, ER 8Jul 5 eggs, 3 mature, 2 fertilized with ICSI, 2 frozen day 3 but not good quality
    Jul/Aug18 IVF6 - Rekovelle 26-29 Jul, Menogon 30Jul-7Aug, Buserelin 26Jul-7Aug, Zomacton 26 28 30 Jul 1 3 Aug, Gonasi 7Aug, ER 9Aug 4 eggs, 3 mature, 2 fertilized (normal IVF), 2 frozen day 3 good quality
    Sep/Oct18 IVF7 - Menogon 19-30Sep, Buserelin 19-30Sep, Zomacton 19 21 23 25 27 Sep, Ovitrelle 1 Oct, ER 3 eggs, 3 mature, 2 fertilized with ICSI, 2 frozen day 3 excellent quality 

    Fav Quote: The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return

    sincethelastdaymbradfo2
  • @emmasemm
    Yep, I agree -- I few small things often help so you don't get to the last straw :smile:  And your DH sounds alot like mine as well. I do have to give him space for a few hours (which is soooo difficult for me!) and then he'll usually be ready to calmly say his piece and listen to mine. Usually it helps if I feed him >.>
    ~~ Our Story in Spoiler! TW loss/child~~
    Fall 2012 -- started TTC
    Summer 2015 - no BFP yet, labs normal, referred to RE
    Fall 2015 - Summer 2016 - Further testing all normal. 3 IUI's -- BFN. Recommended move to IVF. Planned cycle for fall 2016.
    September 2016 - Surprise natural BFP. MMC @ 8 weeks. RE expressed confidence that we just needed the 'right' embryo.
    Fall 2016 - Spring 2017 -- Break from TTC
    June 2017 - Started IVF; egg retrieval for freeze all cycle. 9 mature eggs retrieved, 5 fertilized. 2 4BB embies on ice.
    August 2017 - FET transfer both embies. BFP.  Twin pregnancy confirmed by ultrasound. EDD 4/28/18
    September 2017 - Twin B stopped developing; Twin A doing perfectly! Graduated from RE @ 10 weeks
    March 2018 - Baby Girl born via C/S due to pre-eclampsia -- strong and healthy!


    emmasemm
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  • k_mama91k_mama91 member
    edited July 2019
    @cigaline you’re not alone. Our hormones are out of wack making us more sensitive than usual and our partners are dealing with a shift in the relationship dynamics on top of normal life stresses. It’s easy to feel like the walls are closing in regarding relationships right now. My dh and I have had several conversations about these issues and sometimes he’s sympathetic to my feelings, others it’s me who steps back and realizes I’ve been overly emotional and made a mountain out of a mole hill. I’ve tried to remind myself to breathe before reacting and that this season of life is only temporary. 

    ETA- With all my bleeding I’ve had to step back from my household duties. I even went two weeks without grocery shopping and cooking. It’s hard not being able to do what you normally do and rely on others! It’s definitely easy to feel down on yourself and resentful when your partner isn’t thrilled to pick up your slack.
    emmasemm
  • Thanks so much @mbradfo2, @emmasemm and @k_mama91 for your comforting replies. It really helps to know I’m not the only one going through this kind of thing. 

    I think we both needed cooling off time, but it’s been 5 hours now and he’s been out all day. He’s been into the kitchen for a drink a couple of times and probably done 2 trips to the tip but spent the rest of the time working in the garden. Hasn’t spoken to me at all so far. 

    Motivated by his accusation of my doing nothing, I managed to sum up enough energy to go up to the local supermarket and buy a few essentials, and then I even cleaned the bathroom and swept the living room floor. So it’s been a surprisingly productive day 😏. 

    I also spent some time googling stuff for dads-to-be in French (I really like your what to expect link @mbradfo2 and there’s a lot of stuff that applies to today 😉 but although he could understand it in English it’ll be more of a chore and less likely to register I think)... but haven’t yet found anything that explicitly says ‘don’t expect your wife to do any housework in the first trimester’ haha. To be honest they all go on about putting up with mood swings and criticism (from the woman!) and it makes me think he’s got off pretty damn lightly on that front. Apart from today’s outburst I haven’t been moody or grumpy at all, just had a couple of crying spells when I was feeling down. I probably pushed it too far with the ‘leave me alone for 9 months’ though... think it might be a while before he forgives me for that...
    emmasemmk_mama91
  • edited July 2019
    @cigaline - I’m ditto-ing everything that the other ladies have said and just wanted to add that we have not only the stress and craziness of the first trimester, but also just having gone through IF proceeding the pregnancy. So a double whammy! When you consider all that we go through before pregnancy, I think it’s normal that tensions can be high sometimes between partners considering how much stress we all go through before that HPT. I hope things resolve between YH and yourself sooner than later and that the dad-to-be info helps. Also, great that you were able to get some stuff done even though I’m sure it was tough physically at times. It also seems that men really are all alike in some aspects with needing space alone after a fight, because DH is totally like that as well. It also drives me nuts because I just want resolve things at that moment lol. 
    emmasemmk_mama91
  • @cigaline that all sounds familiar! Something I wish I would have understood during my first pregnancy (and after baby came) was that we had to transition from a couple to a family and these fights/adjustments were all part of the process. We were figuring out new roles and both worrying about different things, so it makes sense that we were never on the same page! I had to do a lot of reflection on my end because I am both the breadwinner and “project manager” in our household and I wasn’t allowing DH any room to transition to parenthood in his own way (probably didn’t help that I was also a parenting education nurse at the time, so of course I was “the expert” and he needed to just listen to me, ha!). I wish I could say that after 28 months of pregnancy and parenting we are a cohesive team like we were before, but the reality is this parenting thing is HARD and it’s still a huge struggle. Try to give yourself and DH some space to work through all the feelings you are both having (men also have hormone changes when their partners are pregnant) and allow yourselves to fumble through it. This is a brand new road for both of you, so it makes sense that it’s not easy and the answers aren’t clear. At the very least, just know you aren’t alone :) 
    Me: 39 SO: 36

    Dx: low progesterone, possible DOR - officially "unexplained"

    TTC#1 since November 2015
    9/16/2016 IUI#1 - BFN
    10/12/2016 IUI#2 - BFN
    1/21/2017 Clomid/IUI#3 - BFN
    March 2017 IVF: BFP! (beta#1 191, beta#2 378!) - it's a boy! DS born 12/6/2017

    TTC #2 since July 2018
    May 2019 IVF #2: BFP! (beta#1 346, beta#2 646) - vanishing twin at 8 weeks. Baby B still going strong - due 2/8/20!
    Pregnancy Ticker
    emmasemmk_mama91
  • ***TW*** had another scan this morning. No changes, HB is almost none existant. Best of luck to all of you ladies. Thank you for all the support and for being such an awesome community ♡♡
  • @aconklin214 So sorry to hear this. You’ll be in my thoughts. Be kind to yourself as you take time to heal ❤️
  • @aconklin214 - so, so sorry to hear this news.  :'( I can’t imagine how incredibly hard that scan must have been today. Will be thinking of you and hope you have a lot of support during this very difficult time. 
  • @aconklin214 I am so sorry.  Take time for yourself and do whatever you need.  You'll be in my thoughts.
    Me:37 MH:37
    TTGP since 07/2017
    **TW** in spoiler
    DX: PCOS, anovulatory, AMA
    Femara X3: no response
    Clomid X3: BFN (cyst and thin lining)
    IUI (Dec '18) MMC
    IVF (April '19) 9 retrieved, 7 fertilized, 2 normal PGT-A
    FET 06/12/19 - BFP! EDD 02/27/20




  • @aconklin214 I’m so sorry to hear this. Please take care of yourself. 
    If you need a supportive place to hang out, can I recommend the PGAL thread on the TTGP board? Those ladies will welcome you with open arms and support you as you need it
    Me 41 DH 43
    Married 12/2016
    TTC #1 since 04/2015
    AMA, DOR (AMH 0.65, AFC 2-4) and autoimmune issues (RA, APS), low TSH, adenomyosis
    7 retrievals, 3 transfers
    Jun19 FET BFP, due date 7th March 2020, DD born Feb20
    Sep17 IVF1 - 1ER, 1F, 1ET, BFN
    Nov17 IVF2 - 1ER, 0F
    Jan18 IVF3 - 3ER, 1F, 1ET, BFN
    Feb18 - second opinion and additional testing
    Apr18 IVF4 - cancelled (E2 too high)
    May/Jun18 IVF4 - 4ER, 0M, 1F, 1 frozen day 3 (not best quality)
    Jun/Jul18 IVF5 - 5 ER, 3M, 2F, 2 frozen day 3 (not best quality)
    Jul/Aug18 IVF6 - 4ER, 3M, 2F, 2 frozen day 3 (good quality)
    Aug/Sep18 IVF7 - cancelled (cyst)
    Sep/Oct18 IVF7 - 3ER, 3M, 2F, 2 frozen Day 3 (excellent quality)
    Oct18 IVF8 - Cancelled (cyst and too low TSH)
    Oct18-Jan19 bringing TSH under control
    Feb19 ERA and hysteroscopy
    Mar19 Investigation for fibroid and adenomyosis
    Apr19 adenomyosis confirmed, polyps removed
    Jun19 FET after 2 months Lupron, autoimmune protocol, transferred two day 3 frozen embryos
    Sep17 - Pergoveris 10-17 Sep, Orgalutran 15-18 Sep, Ovitrelle 18 Sep, ER 20 Sep for 2 follies, 1 mature egg, fertilized, ET 1x 2d 4-cell embryo 22/09, 05/10 BFN
    Nov17 IVF2 - Pergoveris 2-14 Nov, Orgalutran 5-14 Nov, Ovitrelle 15 Nov, ER 17 Nov for 3 follies, 1 mature egg, did not fertilize
    Jan18 IVF3 - Pergoveris 30 Dec - 8 Jan, Orgalutran 5-8 Jan, Ovitrelle 9 Jan, ER 11 Jan 3 eggs, 2 mature, 1 fertilized, ET 1x 4d 12-cell embryo 15/01, 24/01 BFN
    May/Jun18 IVF4 - Rekovelle 25-29 May, Menogon 30May - 2Jun, Zomacton 25 27 29 31 May and 2Jun, Cetrotide 30May - 3Jun, Gonasi 3Jun, ER 5Jun 4 eggs, none mature, two matured overnight, 1 fertilized with ICSI, Frozen day 3 but not good quality
    Jun/Jul18 IVF5 - Rekovelle 21-24 June, Menogon 25Jun-3Jul, Puregon 4-5Jul, Zomacton 21 23 25 27 29 Jun, Cetrotide 25Jun-5Jul, Gonasi 6Jul, ER 8Jul 5 eggs, 3 mature, 2 fertilized with ICSI, 2 frozen day 3 but not good quality
    Jul/Aug18 IVF6 - Rekovelle 26-29 Jul, Menogon 30Jul-7Aug, Buserelin 26Jul-7Aug, Zomacton 26 28 30 Jul 1 3 Aug, Gonasi 7Aug, ER 9Aug 4 eggs, 3 mature, 2 fertilized (normal IVF), 2 frozen day 3 good quality
    Sep/Oct18 IVF7 - Menogon 19-30Sep, Buserelin 19-30Sep, Zomacton 19 21 23 25 27 Sep, Ovitrelle 1 Oct, ER 3 eggs, 3 mature, 2 fertilized with ICSI, 2 frozen day 3 excellent quality 

    Fav Quote: The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return

  • @aconklin214 I'm so sorry to hear as well. Like the other ladies said, take care of yourself. Sending you love
  • @aconklin214 So sorry to read you news.  You’ll be in my thoughts.
  •   Measuring a week behind but the doctor saw the sac.  Next ultrasound in two weeks.  Dr. is not concerned yet about measuring behind.

    I had my first ultrasound today.  Update in the spoiler box.

    emmasemmsincethelastdayk_mama91
  • @aconklin214 I’m so sorry! I can’t even imagine how you must feel. 
    Me: 39 SO: 36

    Dx: low progesterone, possible DOR - officially "unexplained"

    TTC#1 since November 2015
    9/16/2016 IUI#1 - BFN
    10/12/2016 IUI#2 - BFN
    1/21/2017 Clomid/IUI#3 - BFN
    March 2017 IVF: BFP! (beta#1 191, beta#2 378!) - it's a boy! DS born 12/6/2017

    TTC #2 since July 2018
    May 2019 IVF #2: BFP! (beta#1 346, beta#2 646) - vanishing twin at 8 weeks. Baby B still going strong - due 2/8/20!
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @aconklin214 my gosh, I am so so sorry about your update. Sending your lots of virtual hugs. Please take care of yourself :heart:

    ***History & TW in Spoiler***

    ***bfp & child warning***
    TTC - since 2014
    7 rounds of Clomid - BFN
    IUI #1 - October 2015 - BFN
    IUI #2 - November 2015 - BFN
    IUI #3 - December 2015 - BFN
    IVF #1 - March 2016
    Retrieval #1 - April 2016
    FET #1 - May 2016 - BFP!!! DS - Born January 2017
    Trying for baby #2...
    FET #2 - January 2018 - BFN  
    IVF/Retrieval #2 - January 2019
    IVF/Retrieval #3 - March 2019
    FET #3 - April 2019 - BFP!!! - DD: Born December 2019


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