1st trimester check in, week of 7/8 — The Bump
Pregnant after IF

1st trimester check in, week of 7/8

PoeMasquePoeMasque member
edited July 2019 in Pregnant after IF
Happy Monday! Let me know if I missed you in the roll call :)

  • How far along/EDD?
  • How are you feeling this week?
  • Rants/Raves? Questions?
  • Any upcoming appointments?
  • GTKY: what show(s) are you binge watching lately? 
Calling!!

@aconklin214 EDD 3/3

@emmasemm EDD 3/7

@k_mama91 EDD 12/5

@Tulips25 EDD 1/11

@cigaline EDD 2/10

@celticknotfire EDD 2/27

@ivfsurvivor EDD 3/3

@love112314 EDD 3/9

@sincethelastday EDD 3/10

@bluguitarhannah EDD 3/10

Me: 39 SO: 36

Dx: low progesterone, possible DOR - officially "unexplained"

TTC#1 since November 2015
9/16/2016 IUI#1 - BFN
10/12/2016 IUI#2 - BFN
1/21/2017 Clomid/IUI#3 - BFN
March 2017 IVF: BFP! (beta#1 191, beta#2 378!) - it's a boy! DS born 12/6/2017

TTC #2 since July 2018
May 2019 IVF #2: BFP! (beta#1 346, beta#2 646) - vanishing twin at 8 weeks. Baby B still going strong - due 2/8/20!
Pregnancy Ticker
«1

Re: 1st trimester check in, week of 7/8

    • How far along/EDD? 6w5d 2/25 
    • How are you feeling this week? Exhausted. Feel like I pee every half hour lol. Super anxious about my first scan tomorrow 
    • Rants/Raves? Questions? Hormones are raging. I actually yelled at a coworker over the weekend (I never yell, I'm the nicest person to work with). I felt terrible after but she rode my last nerve lol
    • Any upcoming appointments? 1st scan tomorrow 7/9
    • GTKY: what show(s) are you binge watching lately? The Handmaids Tale on Hulu and Shooter on Netflix. 
    @emmasemm that is a hysterical story. I hope the police didn't give you too much trouble. I once let my little brother house sit. A few weeks later, I had pot plants growing in my front yard. I wanted to kill him lol
    emmasemmwabash15k_mama91Tulips29
  • Loading the player...
  • @emmanemm that is to funny!  I'm so happy your beta is increasing so nicely.  Do you have your US scheduled yet?

    @aconklin214 so exciting your scan is tomorrow!

    • How far along/EDD? 6w3d 2/27
    • How are you feeling this week? Tired, nauseous and sick of peeing all the time!  The nausea had gotten worse over the past few days.
    • Rants/Raves? Questions? I'm actually enjoying my crazy pregnancy dreams.  I had one last night where I was in a competition and I had to guess cake flavor and fillings.  It was definitely one of my best dreams and made much more sense than the majority of my crazy dreams.
    • Any upcoming appointments? US is on Friday!  I could have scheduled it any day this week but MH's birthday is Sunday and all he's been saying for months is how he would love to see a HB for his birthday.
    • GTKY: what show(s) are you binge watching lately? I've been re-watching Parks and Rec for something lighthearted and funny.  I also recently watching 2 seasons of The Good Place on Netflix.
    Me:37 MH:37
    TTGP since 07/2017
    **TW** in spoiler
    DX: PCOS, anovulatory, AMA
    Femara X3: no response
    Clomid X3: BFN (cyst and thin lining)
    IUI (Dec '18) MMC
    IVF (April '19) 9 retrieved, 7 fertilized, 2 normal PGT-A
    FET 06/12/19 - BFP! EDD 02/27/20




    emmasemmwabash15k_mama91Tulips29
  • @emmasemm - oh my gosh! I couldn’t help but laugh a bit at your story with the pot plants!  :p I’m sure it wasn’t funny on your end, especially with having to call the police and all to come take them away. Hope you have better success with your garden with plants you actually want lol. Sorry to hear about the symptoms - hope you find something to soothe the nausea especially. Great to hear about your last beta number!! Hope it only increases and increases! 

    @aconklin214 - really hoping your US goes well tomorrow!! I can totally get the nerves though; mine is still a couple of weeks away and I get nervous thinking about it. 

    @celticknotfire - good luck at your US on Friday as well! I can’t think of a better birthday present! Hope your nausea settles down a bit; I think that’s the one symptom I’m dreading the most. Ugh. (Also, love Parks and Rec and The Good Place!)

    • How far along/EDD? 4w5d 3/10
    • How are you feeling this week? I’ve had on and off bloating and mild cramping over the past few days. I actually love experiencing those symptoms because it makes me feel like things are working and progressing. Sort of a little physical reminder that I’m pregnant.  The shock of having received a BFP has worn off a bit, but I still can’t totally believe it. And I wasn’t prepared for the nerves with the fear of miscarrying. I don’t know how I’m going to make it to the second trimester lol. 
    • Rants/Raves? Questions? Funny how you mentioned crazy dreams, @celticknotfire. Yesterday I dreamed that I was having a miscarriage. Ugh. That first US can’t come soon enough! 
    • Any upcoming appointments? My first US is on July 22nd. I also have to get blood work done testing for RH -. I’m O- and the clinic has the documentation to prove it, but it’s still necessary to confirm it again. DH also is O- so it’s nice that I won’t have to get the injections due to us both not having the RH protein on our blood cells. 
    • GTKY: what show(s) are you binge watching lately? It may be hard to believe, but I didn’t watch Game of Thrones when it was airing, so I’m now watching it now that it’s all done. Also really enjoying Killing Eve. 
    Really hoping we all have a great week with only good things! 
    emmasemmwabash15
  • @celticknotfire I never realized the crazy dreams are because I'm pregnant lol. I keep having dreams of multiples, twins and triplets but the dreams are crazy. The night before last I dreamt there was triplets but while they were scanning me I could see them move around, hands and feet through my stomach, like aliens 😂 it was so weird I woke my husband up Haha. 
  • Nice to hear everyone is doing well :)

    @emmasemm The pot story is hilarious! 

    @sincethelastday I know exactly how you feel lol. Fingers crossed for GL for us all.

    • How far along/EDD? 5 weeks/ 3/9/20
    • How are you feeling this week? Mostly just incredibly nervous/scared (to the point that my husband told my mom who now keeps texting me and telling me to stay calm lol). As for symptoms, camps here and there, and my stomach was aching on occasion. The noticable symptom though is how tired I am. I took a 2hr nap Saturday after sleeping in lol and I rarely ever nap.
    • Rants/Raves? Questions? 
    • Any upcoming appointments? 7/15 first u/s, and yup, can't come soon enough!
    • GTKY: what show(s) are you binge watching lately? Stranger Things :)
    emmasemmsincethelastday
  • Hello all!

    Sorry I didn’t manage to contribute last week. I tend to crash when I get home from work and we were at a wedding all day Saturday and got home at 4am 😬 so Sunday was a write-off. Quite proud of myself for sticking it out that long though! 

    It’s great how many new members we’ve added recently! Good luck to those of you having scans this week - it’s very exciting but also pretty nerve-wracking too...

    • How far along/EDD? 9w1d/10 February (sorry, can’t do US format dates, it muddles my British brain!)
    • How are you feeling this week? OK so far, but varies so much from day to day. Had my first episode of vomiting yesterday which was a little alarming - brought on extremely suddenly by changing the bathroom bin! Lucky I was at home though. Shall be more careful about smells when out and about - so far they haven’t seemed to trigger nausea except in the kitchen, and even on this occasion the smell itself wasn’t too bad, only in retrospect there was no other explanation...
    • Rants/Raves? Questions? As others have mentioned, getting fed up with the twice a day progesterone pessaries. Feels as though it definitely ought to be unnecessary now but according to instructions I’ve another 3 weeks. Fed up with the mess, the pantiliners and really hoping I don’t get candida or BV as I’ve had both before and they’re pretty unpleasant 😖 Also hoping my dysfunctional relationship with food is going to end soon. Although the nausea is by no means that frequent - more on and off - I just can’t contemplate planning meals the majority of the time, and have no energy to make anything nice anyway. I never know what I’ll feel able to eat until it’s time, and then I need it ASAP! which means I’m surviving mostly on the very nutritious diet of pizza and pasta 😏
    • Any upcoming appointments? Tomorrow (Wed 10th - our second US as we wait with bated breath to find out what’s happened to Embryo B over the past 2 weeks (and assuming Embryo A is doing just fine...)
    • GTKY: what show(s) are you binge watching lately? Can’t claim to be doing any binge-watching these days. There aren’t many series on French TV that really appeal (though they’re mostly not French but American ones about a year or two out of date). I end up watching what DH chooses by default as he tends to have about 3 on the go at any one time. I quite enjoyed 911 when it was on, but the first season’s just finished. I miss all the British dramas I used to have access to - every time I go home there’s something new I’ve missed!
  • Lurking*** @cigaline your current relationship with food is really normal in the first tri. it does get better (though can come back in the third tri). Sometimes managing frequent snacks (even if its carbs) can help with the on and off nausea.  GL with your US tomorrow
    *TW*
    TTC 1/2012
    Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
    6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
    TTC #3 5/2016
    Restarted Fertility tx
    IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17

    emmasemm
    • How far along/EDD? 12/5 18w5d
    • How are you feeling this week? Still spotting a lot but I started feeling unmistakable movements over the weekend!!
    • Rants/Raves? Questions? We went out and purchased nursery decor and did our registry this weekend. It’s getting so much more real now!
    • Any upcoming appointments? Anatomy scan on 7/16
    • GTKY: what show(s) are you binge watching lately?  Married at First Sight and embarrassingly Teen Mom 🤦‍♀️
     @emmasemm 😂 thank you for sharing, I LOLed at that! Also congrats on a great beta!!

     @aconklin214 GL today!!

     @celticknotfire That’ll be a great bday gift! I have to schedule all my scans around DH and his work hours. I know it’s the right thing to do but waiting the extra few days each time is a bummer. 
    emmasemm
    • How far along/EDD? 4 weeks 6 days, 3/10/19
    • How are you feeling this week? have been anxious, extra beta was scheduled but now onto to 6 week ultrasound
    • Rants/Raves? Questions?
    • Any upcoming appointments? 10 days first ultrsound
    • GTKY: what show(s) are you binge watching lately? Watched all of Game of Thrones (8 seasons) since Memorial day, finished Orange is the New Black last season over weeken
    @aconklin214 congrats on scan.  That's fabulous news.

    sincethelastdayemmasemmk_mama91
  • @love112314 - good luck with your US next week - hope the time flies by! 

    @cigaline - really hoping your US goes well today (or went well) and that your second embie caught up! (Also, saw your PM finally)  ;)

    @k_mama91 - how exciting that you’ve started picking out nursery decor!! I’m so looking forward to that! May I ask if you’ve decided on a theme or what your plans are for the nursery? Also good luck with your scan next week! 

    @acconklin214 - that’s great that your US went well! It must be such a relief! 

    @bluguitarhannah - good luck with your US coming up too! Looks like we’re “twinsies” with our EDD :) Have you been experiencing any symptoms so far? It sounds silly, but I sort of am hoping to get some more symptoms as a sort of confidence booster that I’m pregnant and things are going well (I’ll probably end up regretting saying this lol) 
  • @sincethelastday I completely understand about loving symptoms.  Every time I get nauseous I just take it as a reminder that I am actually pregnant!

    @aconklin214 I am so happy your US went well!  Enjoy the crazy pregnancy dreams!

    @love112314 getting close to your US and I hope the time flies by!

    @cigaline FX for a good US today!

    @k_mama91 That's awesome you started your nursery and registry!

    @bluguitarhannah happy to see a familiar face from the June FET board!  The wait between betas and US can feel like forever but you'll get there!
    Me:37 MH:37
    TTGP since 07/2017
    **TW** in spoiler
    DX: PCOS, anovulatory, AMA
    Femara X3: no response
    Clomid X3: BFN (cyst and thin lining)
    IUI (Dec '18) MMC
    IVF (April '19) 9 retrieved, 7 fertilized, 2 normal PGT-A
    FET 06/12/19 - BFP! EDD 02/27/20




  • @sincethelastday - no symptoms I don’t attribute to medications.  I was already having major mood swings on the medication.  Look forward to other signs eventually.

    @celticknotfire glad to see you! 
  • @cigaline Good luck today!

    @sincethelastday Thanks, it’s coming up fast! We’ve actually completed the nursery minus the crib skirt and a lamp. Not sure where you’re located but the decor is all Hobby Lobby and it’s their rustic woodland stuff. Deer, Buffalo, Moose, Mountains etc. We did a gallery wall over his dresser and have a changing pad there as well and hung some other things throughout the room. His bedding is similar themed from buy buy baby.
    sincethelastday
  • @aconklin214 Wonderful news! 

    @cigaline Ditto! Gl! 

    @k_mama91 My friend also did a woodland creatures theme. Super cute!

    @bluguitarhannah hope the time goes by fast for you also. Waiting is perhaps the hardest part.

    And thank you everyone! :) 
  • So happy to see all the good betas and ultrasounds on here!! Also pretty exciting to start seeing nursery decor conversations (one of my favorite parts of being pregnant is the planning and decorating - I’m not type A at all....), I need to get past the NIPT screens before I can go there, but of course I’m already pinteresting ideas....

    @aconklin214 with both of my pregnancies I had about a week of really really vivid sexual dreams - as in I would wake up orgasming (sorry TMI!!). It was really strange and happened at about 5 weeks. I’m so glad it didn’t last long....I was starting to feel like I was cheating on DH!!

    We had our second US this morning and - *TW* Twin A did not make it. They measured it at 8w1d and no visible heartbeat. The gestational sac was also less than half the size of twin B, so they were certain I am now just a singleton pregnancy *end TW. 
    We have been completely open about our journey, so lots of people knew we were having twins and it’s been a little weird telling people we lost one, especially because we are kind of happy to only have one. I actually wasn’t sad at all when I saw the screen, but then I felt guilty for not being upset. There’s just no winning in IF :(
    ok not true, we have a great looking baby still growing in there so that’s a huge win :) 

    • How far along/EDD? 9w4d 2/8
    • How are you feeling this week? Was feeling great until last night and now it’s a whole new level of headache and nausea. Ugh. 
    • Rants/Raves? Questions? 
    • Any upcoming appointments? See spoiler and first OB appt next week. 
    • GTKY: what show(s) are you binge watching lately? Handmaids Tale and Call the Midwife, DH and I watch an episode of The Office before bed as our “snuggle time”. 
    Me: 39 SO: 36

    Dx: low progesterone, possible DOR - officially "unexplained"

    TTC#1 since November 2015
    9/16/2016 IUI#1 - BFN
    10/12/2016 IUI#2 - BFN
    1/21/2017 Clomid/IUI#3 - BFN
    March 2017 IVF: BFP! (beta#1 191, beta#2 378!) - it's a boy! DS born 12/6/2017

    TTC #2 since July 2018
    May 2019 IVF #2: BFP! (beta#1 346, beta#2 646) - vanishing twin at 8 weeks. Baby B still going strong - due 2/8/20!
    Pregnancy Ticker
    emmasemmwabash15
  • @PoeMasque I am so sorry your US was such a mix of emotions.  With IF I feel like there is no such thing as not being on a roller coaster of emotions.  FX for your OB appointment.
    Me:37 MH:37
    TTGP since 07/2017
    **TW** in spoiler
    DX: PCOS, anovulatory, AMA
    Femara X3: no response
    Clomid X3: BFN (cyst and thin lining)
    IUI (Dec '18) MMC
    IVF (April '19) 9 retrieved, 7 fertilized, 2 normal PGT-A
    FET 06/12/19 - BFP! EDD 02/27/20




    PoeMasque
  • @PoeMasque - very sorry to hear your update.  
    PoeMasque
  • @PoeMasque
    Lurker here, but I also had a vanishing twin at similar gestation (seen on 7 week scan with healthy HB and looking good-sized and then no HB on the 8 week scan). The emotions you feel about it are often really complex and I'm still dealing with intermittent thoughts about it 2 years on. You're relieved and happy one baby is good and that the pregnancy is less complex, but that makes you feel guilty about not being super sad about the other baby. You're confused about what you should feel and people don't know what to say when you say you had a vanishing twin. I wasn't sad either when I heard the news - just incredibly relieved there was a healthy baby after 6 years of IF -  and I still feel guilty about that. My RE had prepared us for it (he says he sees about 30-40 percent of early twin pregnancies go this way) and fortunately he was very quick on immediately giving us the good news that he saw a great HR for baby A before telling us about the twin and taking those measurements (he did the measurements for the vanishing twin quickly before showing off the healthy baby and taking his time with those measurements). Be prepared for the sac to stick around for a while and be sure to let your OB know -- it wasn't until my 16 week scan that it was no longer visible - as it can look like a SCH while emptying/absorbing over the next month or two. 
    ~~ Our Story in Spoiler! TW loss/child~~
    Fall 2012 -- started TTC
    Summer 2015 - no BFP yet, labs normal, referred to RE
    Fall 2015 - Summer 2016 - Further testing all normal. 3 IUI's -- BFN. Recommended move to IVF. Planned cycle for fall 2016.
    September 2016 - Surprise natural BFP. MMC @ 8 weeks. RE expressed confidence that we just needed the 'right' embryo.
    Fall 2016 - Spring 2017 -- Break from TTC
    June 2017 - Started IVF; egg retrieval for freeze all cycle. 9 mature eggs retrieved, 5 fertilized. 2 4BB embies on ice.
    August 2017 - FET transfer both embies. BFP.  Twin pregnancy confirmed by ultrasound. EDD 4/28/18
    September 2017 - Twin B stopped developing; Twin A doing perfectly! Graduated from RE @ 10 weeks
    March 2018 - Baby Girl born via C/S due to pre-eclampsia -- strong and healthy!


    k_mama91emmasemmPoeMasquewabash15
  • k_mama91k_mama91 member
    edited July 2019
    @PoeMasque I’m sorry is typically what you say in these circumstances but like I stated several weeks ago I had the same feelings as you so I’ll just say that I hope you find peace in the information you received and I’m so thrilled baby b is growing nicely! At this point in my pregnancy knowing that baby b is a boy and he has a room, a name, some clothes does have me wondering what if about our twin a. It’s  brought up a whole new set of emotions. I still feel guilt for my feelings regarding the loss but I am even more grateful for this little guy if that’s even possible. Like @mbradfo2 said, let your ob know asap about the vanishing twin bc *TW that is what caused my big bleed and continued spotting END TW* Was your twin a bigger or smaller than twin b at your first scan? My twin a was bigger so I was surprised that twin b made it and twin a didn’t. That probably has nothing to do with what happened but I’ve always thought it was interesting.
    emmasemmPoeMasque
  • Thank you everyone. Cloud 9 lasted a day and I'm already nervous about Mondays scan. With my history I am so scared to be happy or excited and I can't help but feel like the other shoe hasn't dropped yet. I pray this feeling goes away after the first trimester. This rollercoaster of feeling happy one second and anxious the next is horrible. My DH on the other hand is optimistic and it can be quite annoying sometimes. 

    @PoeMasque I totally understand. Try not to feel guilty for being happy, you can be happy and sad at the same time ♡
    emmasemmk_mama91PoeMasque
  • @poemasque oh I’m sorry to see your news - but also incredibly happy you have one healthy baby growing in there. Like the others have said, give yourself room to be both happy and be hit by some waves of grief. Whatever you feel is right.

    @celticknotfire I’m sending you all my positive vibes for your scan tomorrow! 

    @aconklin214 I understand fully that relief followed by the fresh build up of worries again. But so pleased your scan today showed everything on track!

    @sincethelastday I also am growing to “love” waking up at 4am needing to pee and dry heaving... ha never thought I’d say that! 

    @love112314 DH is a big napper, I can’t normally fall asleep during the day. But if I’m not at work I am napping once in the morning and once in the afternoon - it’s like I’ve regressed to be a toddler!

    @cigaline hoping you have a good update after your scan  (even if you might feel a bit mixed [email protected])

    @bluguitarhannah wow that’s a marathon GoT session you had there! I’m impressed! 

    Seems there are quite a few of us with 6 week ish scans coming up next week... and I’m so happy to have so many of us active in the group now!
    Me 41 DH 43
    Married 12/2016
    TTC #1 since 04/2015
    AMA, DOR (AMH 0.65, AFC 2-4) and autoimmune issues (RA, APS), low TSH, adenomyosis
    7 retrievals, 3 transfers
    Jun19 FET BFP, due date 7th March 2020, DD born Feb20
    Sep17 IVF1 - 1ER, 1F, 1ET, BFN
    Nov17 IVF2 - 1ER, 0F
    Jan18 IVF3 - 3ER, 1F, 1ET, BFN
    Feb18 - second opinion and additional testing
    Apr18 IVF4 - cancelled (E2 too high)
    May/Jun18 IVF4 - 4ER, 0M, 1F, 1 frozen day 3 (not best quality)
    Jun/Jul18 IVF5 - 5 ER, 3M, 2F, 2 frozen day 3 (not best quality)
    Jul/Aug18 IVF6 - 4ER, 3M, 2F, 2 frozen day 3 (good quality)
    Aug/Sep18 IVF7 - cancelled (cyst)
    Sep/Oct18 IVF7 - 3ER, 3M, 2F, 2 frozen Day 3 (excellent quality)
    Oct18 IVF8 - Cancelled (cyst and too low TSH)
    Oct18-Jan19 bringing TSH under control
    Feb19 ERA and hysteroscopy
    Mar19 Investigation for fibroid and adenomyosis
    Apr19 adenomyosis confirmed, polyps removed
    Jun19 FET after 2 months Lupron, autoimmune protocol, transferred two day 3 frozen embryos
    Sep17 - Pergoveris 10-17 Sep, Orgalutran 15-18 Sep, Ovitrelle 18 Sep, ER 20 Sep for 2 follies, 1 mature egg, fertilized, ET 1x 2d 4-cell embryo 22/09, 05/10 BFN
    Nov17 IVF2 - Pergoveris 2-14 Nov, Orgalutran 5-14 Nov, Ovitrelle 15 Nov, ER 17 Nov for 3 follies, 1 mature egg, did not fertilize
    Jan18 IVF3 - Pergoveris 30 Dec - 8 Jan, Orgalutran 5-8 Jan, Ovitrelle 9 Jan, ER 11 Jan 3 eggs, 2 mature, 1 fertilized, ET 1x 4d 12-cell embryo 15/01, 24/01 BFN
    May/Jun18 IVF4 - Rekovelle 25-29 May, Menogon 30May - 2Jun, Zomacton 25 27 29 31 May and 2Jun, Cetrotide 30May - 3Jun, Gonasi 3Jun, ER 5Jun 4 eggs, none mature, two matured overnight, 1 fertilized with ICSI, Frozen day 3 but not good quality
    Jun/Jul18 IVF5 - Rekovelle 21-24 June, Menogon 25Jun-3Jul, Puregon 4-5Jul, Zomacton 21 23 25 27 29 Jun, Cetrotide 25Jun-5Jul, Gonasi 6Jul, ER 8Jul 5 eggs, 3 mature, 2 fertilized with ICSI, 2 frozen day 3 but not good quality
    Jul/Aug18 IVF6 - Rekovelle 26-29 Jul, Menogon 30Jul-7Aug, Buserelin 26Jul-7Aug, Zomacton 26 28 30 Jul 1 3 Aug, Gonasi 7Aug, ER 9Aug 4 eggs, 3 mature, 2 fertilized (normal IVF), 2 frozen day 3 good quality
    Sep/Oct18 IVF7 - Menogon 19-30Sep, Buserelin 19-30Sep, Zomacton 19 21 23 25 27 Sep, Ovitrelle 1 Oct, ER 3 eggs, 3 mature, 2 fertilized with ICSI, 2 frozen day 3 excellent quality 

    Fav Quote: The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return

    k_mama91PoeMasque
  • k_mama91k_mama91 member
    edited July 2019
    @aconklin214 My husband is also annoyingly positive 24/7 about everything. I think after loss and infertility pregnancy becomes so stressful and we rush to get it over. I waited for the heartbeat scan, then the second tri, then the gender scan (superficial but exciting), then movement to assure me baby was still ok between scans (brought me a whole new set of anxiety), next up for me is the anatomy scan. I keep thinking that I’ll hit the 28 week mark of viability and feel so much relief but I know I’ll keep wishing and waiting to hit that next milestone. Infertility robs us of enjoying pregnancy like everyone else. I haven’t had the same journey as you but all this was to say I know the anxious, impending doom feeling during what should be the happiest time of your life. Hang in there mama!
    emmasemmPoeMasqueaconklin214wabash15
  • PSA: My posts tend to be full of freaking typos from using the app on my phone. If you see me misuse words like YOUR and YOU’RE or THERE and THEIR ignore them bc I am aware of correct grammar but I’m too lazy to keep fixing them 😂🤦‍♀️
    emmasemmPoeMasqueaconklin214
  • @PoeMasque I'm so glad you have one healthy growing baby. The notion of twins especially when your still processing is very overwhelming. Its OK to have mixed emotions and to be glad you have one healthy growing baby. Hugs, IF is tough

    @k_mama91 viability is usually around 24 weeks (though its still touch and go that early) I will say that I did not feel a big wave of relief when I hit that mark, but that slowly I started feeling more confident that things would turn out well. IF does rob us of a lot of the blissfully ignorant joys of pregnancy. Every day you are closer to holding that sweet baby. The beginning of pregnancy drags on painfully but hopefully soon you'll be in the third tri wondering where the time has gone. 
    *TW*
    TTC 1/2012
    Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
    6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
    TTC #3 5/2016
    Restarted Fertility tx
    IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17

    k_mama91PoeMasque
  • @PoeMasque - similar to what others have said, sorry to hear that the one twin didn’t make it. I can only imagine how hard it must be just with having the conflicting emotions. With IF and pregnancy, there’s just no right way to feel and I’m surprised with how varied the emotions can be at times. I was surprised with how much fear I felt when I got a positive HPT. I think I can be quite hard on myself by telling myself that I should just be grateful I got a positive and am pregnant and shouldn’t be feeling any of those other emotions (worry, hesitation, complaining about discomfort) because there’s plenty of women still trying. It’s like the guilt I sometimes felt with IF just carries over to pregnancy. Anyways, I’m rambling. Feel however you need to feel and hope you treat yourself to whatever you need at this time. 

    @aconklin214 - I’m totally with you that I really hope the anxiety goes away (or realistically at least decreases) once/if I hit the second trimester. I wish I could just be thrilled and obliviously happy with being pregnant, but, just like when I was going through IF treatments, I didn’t want to get my hopes up. And it feels the same way with pregnancy now. I don’t want to day dream too far down the road with being pregnant, because maybe this pregnancy won’t last. Hope we, and anyone else feeling the same way, will find some peace during this trimester and some reprieve from the worry. 
    PoeMasque
  • So I'm trying not to freak myself out but I had some bright red spotting tonight.  It wasn't much and wasn't even on my liner but it still scared me.  I had a major screw up last night and gave myself my PIO shot several hours late (every third day is hard to keep straight even with my calendar) so I think I did this to myself.  I had so very mild cramping earlier in the day but nothing bad and the spotting lasted less than an hour.  My US is 12.5 hours away and feels like an eternity!
    Me:37 MH:37
    TTGP since 07/2017
    **TW** in spoiler
    DX: PCOS, anovulatory, AMA
    Femara X3: no response
    Clomid X3: BFN (cyst and thin lining)
    IUI (Dec '18) MMC
    IVF (April '19) 9 retrieved, 7 fertilized, 2 normal PGT-A
    FET 06/12/19 - BFP! EDD 02/27/20




  • @celticknotfire I hope it was just an irritated cervix and nothing else. It’s good you have your scan so soon. I will be checking back all day to hear how it goes. Keeping everything crossed. How many w+d are you?

    AFM I’ve been quiet as I’m really struggling with anxiety - or scanxiety ahead of next week. My symptoms were mild yesterday and I was so worried that nothing is growing in there that I had a total freak out on DH because he hadn’t cleared the dishwasher... and then spent the next 3 hours dry heaving in the bathroom. My scan is next Wednesday and I am literally sick with fear that it will be an empty sac. I know if it happens we’ll deal with it, and other people all deal with it, but the anticipation is like nothing I felt before. 
    Me 41 DH 43
    Married 12/2016
    TTC #1 since 04/2015
    AMA, DOR (AMH 0.65, AFC 2-4) and autoimmune issues (RA, APS), low TSH, adenomyosis
    7 retrievals, 3 transfers
    Jun19 FET BFP, due date 7th March 2020, DD born Feb20
    Sep17 IVF1 - 1ER, 1F, 1ET, BFN
    Nov17 IVF2 - 1ER, 0F
    Jan18 IVF3 - 3ER, 1F, 1ET, BFN
    Feb18 - second opinion and additional testing
    Apr18 IVF4 - cancelled (E2 too high)
    May/Jun18 IVF4 - 4ER, 0M, 1F, 1 frozen day 3 (not best quality)
    Jun/Jul18 IVF5 - 5 ER, 3M, 2F, 2 frozen day 3 (not best quality)
    Jul/Aug18 IVF6 - 4ER, 3M, 2F, 2 frozen day 3 (good quality)
    Aug/Sep18 IVF7 - cancelled (cyst)
    Sep/Oct18 IVF7 - 3ER, 3M, 2F, 2 frozen Day 3 (excellent quality)
    Oct18 IVF8 - Cancelled (cyst and too low TSH)
    Oct18-Jan19 bringing TSH under control
    Feb19 ERA and hysteroscopy
    Mar19 Investigation for fibroid and adenomyosis
    Apr19 adenomyosis confirmed, polyps removed
    Jun19 FET after 2 months Lupron, autoimmune protocol, transferred two day 3 frozen embryos
    Sep17 - Pergoveris 10-17 Sep, Orgalutran 15-18 Sep, Ovitrelle 18 Sep, ER 20 Sep for 2 follies, 1 mature egg, fertilized, ET 1x 2d 4-cell embryo 22/09, 05/10 BFN
    Nov17 IVF2 - Pergoveris 2-14 Nov, Orgalutran 5-14 Nov, Ovitrelle 15 Nov, ER 17 Nov for 3 follies, 1 mature egg, did not fertilize
    Jan18 IVF3 - Pergoveris 30 Dec - 8 Jan, Orgalutran 5-8 Jan, Ovitrelle 9 Jan, ER 11 Jan 3 eggs, 2 mature, 1 fertilized, ET 1x 4d 12-cell embryo 15/01, 24/01 BFN
    May/Jun18 IVF4 - Rekovelle 25-29 May, Menogon 30May - 2Jun, Zomacton 25 27 29 31 May and 2Jun, Cetrotide 30May - 3Jun, Gonasi 3Jun, ER 5Jun 4 eggs, none mature, two matured overnight, 1 fertilized with ICSI, Frozen day 3 but not good quality
    Jun/Jul18 IVF5 - Rekovelle 21-24 June, Menogon 25Jun-3Jul, Puregon 4-5Jul, Zomacton 21 23 25 27 29 Jun, Cetrotide 25Jun-5Jul, Gonasi 6Jul, ER 8Jul 5 eggs, 3 mature, 2 fertilized with ICSI, 2 frozen day 3 but not good quality
    Jul/Aug18 IVF6 - Rekovelle 26-29 Jul, Menogon 30Jul-7Aug, Buserelin 26Jul-7Aug, Zomacton 26 28 30 Jul 1 3 Aug, Gonasi 7Aug, ER 9Aug 4 eggs, 3 mature, 2 fertilized (normal IVF), 2 frozen day 3 good quality
    Sep/Oct18 IVF7 - Menogon 19-30Sep, Buserelin 19-30Sep, Zomacton 19 21 23 25 27 Sep, Ovitrelle 1 Oct, ER 3 eggs, 3 mature, 2 fertilized with ICSI, 2 frozen day 3 excellent quality 

    Fav Quote: The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return

    celticknotfire
  • Sorry for being MIA this week, DH and I are away this week and I haven’t had much reception to connect and post on here. I love that we have so many new ladies here, welcome everyone! For everyone going through scans and appointments this week, good luck and I love reading all the great updates! 

    @PoeMasque I’m sorry about the vanishing twin, but I can totally understand your mixed emotions. Don’t feel guilty for feeling what you feel. IF messes with us enough. I’m really happy that the second twin is doing well in there! FX for continued good news for your babe moving forward! 

    AFM: 
    • How far along/EDD? 13w6d - can’t believe I’ll be in the 2nd tri on Saturday! 
    • How are you feeling this week? exhausted still and I think I now have some round ligament pain. I definitely have some pulls down there when I stand too quickly or stretch my legs. 
    • Rants/Raves? Questions? big rant - but I keep having charley horse spasms in my calves. They typically happen while I’m sleeping and I wake up in sheer pain from them coming on suddenly. Had 2 this week. I had them frequently last time around as well and this is def the part I don’t enjoy at all! 
    • Any upcoming appointments?  have a check up with my OB next week. Should be finding out our NIPT results and hopefully gender tomorrow! They called me today and said results are ready but I had no service and only got the voicemail when the doc’s office was already closed. I’m so impatient to find out! 
    • GTKY: what show(s) are you binge watching lately? I decided to binge on the original 90210 as I used to love it as a teenager and never finished watching the entire series. Now with the reboot coming out in August, I’m catching up on the original show. 
    ***History & TW in Spoiler***

    ***bfp & child warning***
    TTC - since 2014
    7 rounds of Clomid - BFN
    IUI #1 - October 2015 - BFN
    IUI #2 - November 2015 - BFN
    IUI #3 - December 2015 - BFN
    IVF #1 - March 2016
    Retrieval #1 - April 2016
    FET #1 - May 2016 - BFP!!! DS - Born January 2017
    Trying for baby #2...
    FET #2 - January 2018 - BFN  
    IVF/Retrieval #2 - January 2019
    IVF/Retrieval #3 - March 2019
    FET #3 - April 2019 - BFP!!! - DD: Born December 2019


    emmasemmk_mama91
  • @wabash15 It’s sad that I’m even thinking about this but knowing that “milestone” is a month closer makes me feel better, for now. Before going down this road I was blissfully unaware of the large number of pregnancy losses that occur after the first tri.

    @Tulips29 You better ride the elevator to the top of a building to get those results today! And then tell us! So exciting to be coming up on second tri, I’ve been lonely over here lol!
    emmasemmwabash15PoeMasque
  • @celticknotfire FX for a great scan today!
    celticknotfire
  • @k_mama91 you are not alone in waiting for the other shoe to drop. as you progress it does get better, slowly, but it does get better. I will say the worry never fully goes away, there is always something to worry about even after they are born, but that's part of being a parent. I (and all of us who have struggled with IF and or loss) get how tough it is. I think it also helps when you can start to feel the baby moving, it becomes a regular reminder that your baby is alive and growing and you don't have to go on just faith that everything is OK in there. 
    *TW*
    TTC 1/2012
    Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
    6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
    TTC #3 5/2016
    Restarted Fertility tx
    IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17

    sincethelastdayk_mama91
  • Thank you all so much for your support!  the US went perfect today!!!!  We got to see our little baby and the HB was 137 which they said is exactly where it needs to be.  There is a huge sense of relief but also fear as we graduated from our RE.  Now we start a long wait because my OB appointment isn't until 08/08 which I think is a really long time.  I'll be 11 weeks then and I might call and clarify because that seems like too long of a wait but maybe I'm just impatient.

    @emmanemm I'm 7w1d today.  I totally understand about scan anxiety and wish I had some magic words to help!  Remember to keep telling yourself today I am pregnant.
    Me:37 MH:37
    TTGP since 07/2017
    **TW** in spoiler
    DX: PCOS, anovulatory, AMA
    Femara X3: no response
    Clomid X3: BFN (cyst and thin lining)
    IUI (Dec '18) MMC
    IVF (April '19) 9 retrieved, 7 fertilized, 2 normal PGT-A
    FET 06/12/19 - BFP! EDD 02/27/20




    sincethelastdayemmasemmk_mama91wabash15
  • @celticknotfire the transition from RE attention to being a "regular pregnant lady" is a rough one. Its normal for them to go 4 weeks between appointments, though man I would start counting down the days as soon as I had one. those 4 weeks were a rough wait. Congrats on having a healthy looking baby. 
    *TW*
    TTC 1/2012
    Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
    6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
    TTC #3 5/2016
    Restarted Fertility tx
    IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17

    celticknotfireemmasemm
  • @k_mama91 this is probably not what you want to hear, but I worried more toward the end of my first pregnancy. I also worked with families who had severely premature babies and *TW* have several friends with third trimester losses *end TW*, so I think that played into it, but the closer I got, the more I felt like I my dream just wouldn’t happen. Everyone has already said it, but the IF anxiety just never goes away! Sometimes I look at my son now and think that somehow I will lose him (because he’s just too perfect and after failing to conceive on our own, I feel like I don’t deserve him). It’s all such a mind game. :(

    @celticknotfire So happy thanksgiving he scan was good! I had a 4 week wait between scans at the RE! It was awful! Also - in my state it’s normal to not be seen by the OB until 12 weeks.  For CMS reimbursement, they only have to see you once in the first trimester, so that’s all they do. Then you don’t get another scan until the anatomy scan at around 26 weeks. (Unless you’re old like me, then you get a few more!). But most women here only have 3 ultrasounds during their entire pregnancy.

    @Tulips29 gahhh, how are you so calm?! I would have lost it knowing my results were in, but I couldn’t access them!! I’m already impatient for mine and I don’t do the blood draw until Monday hahaha!

    Thank you for all of the kind words ladies. It feels good to hear from people who have been down the same road and to know you aren’t alone in some of these feelings. 
    Me: 39 SO: 36

    Dx: low progesterone, possible DOR - officially "unexplained"

    TTC#1 since November 2015
    9/16/2016 IUI#1 - BFN
    10/12/2016 IUI#2 - BFN
    1/21/2017 Clomid/IUI#3 - BFN
    March 2017 IVF: BFP! (beta#1 191, beta#2 378!) - it's a boy! DS born 12/6/2017

    TTC #2 since July 2018
    May 2019 IVF #2: BFP! (beta#1 346, beta#2 646) - vanishing twin at 8 weeks. Baby B still going strong - due 2/8/20!
    Pregnancy Ticker
    celticknotfireemmasemmk_mama91wabash15
  • @k_mama91 omg I would have climbed a mountain to reach them lol. I can’t wait to join you in the 2nd tri tomorrow! Woohoo! 

    @PoeMasque I am so far from calm. Called them first thing this morning and got answering service that the office is closed today!! Now I have to wait until Monday and I’m going crazy. 
    ***History & TW in Spoiler***

    ***bfp & child warning***
    TTC - since 2014
    7 rounds of Clomid - BFN
    IUI #1 - October 2015 - BFN
    IUI #2 - November 2015 - BFN
    IUI #3 - December 2015 - BFN
    IVF #1 - March 2016
    Retrieval #1 - April 2016
    FET #1 - May 2016 - BFP!!! DS - Born January 2017
    Trying for baby #2...
    FET #2 - January 2018 - BFN  
    IVF/Retrieval #2 - January 2019
    IVF/Retrieval #3 - March 2019
    FET #3 - April 2019 - BFP!!! - DD: Born December 2019


    PoeMasqueemmasemmk_mama91
  • Hello again all

    I can feel this is going to be a long one, so apologies in advance. I really need some community support right now so I hope you don't mind. 

    Almost out of the blue, DH and I seemed to have reached crisis point in our relationship this week. Most of the time, DH is the loving and caring type, plenty of affection and not afraid to show it. Fighting is pretty rare and it usually gets cleared up fairly quickly. We have had periodic serious blips over the years but they have gradually become less frequent. I'm pretty sure the trigger is usually DH feeling under pressure/stressed at work and overtired, which makes him snipe. While I'm no saint, I'm not confrontational and tend to get depressed if things are difficult, rather than lose my temper. 

    During the first few weeks of the pregnancy (when I was feeling worse than now), DH was great, making my breakfast in the morning, often getting dinner in the evening (nothing elaborate - as I've said earlier, I've been mostly eating pizza or pasta!) and generally being supportive and understanding. To put things in context, he became head of department at his university in May and since then has been under a lot of pressure. June is usually the time of year when things start winding down for him, and thank goodness, because he's been going flat out since January without a break (working weekends etc) and is totally exhausted. Only this year, he's had to up the tempo and work even longer hours than before in order to deal with all the departmental emergencies that are now his responsibility. 

    On top of all this, we are swamped with problems to resolve in the house and garden, which basically fall to DH as I wouldn't be able to take them on even without being pregnant. We moved last November and are still living without a wardrobe as DH hasn't had time to finish building the IKEA one which was delivered in April. So our bedroom is a tip and the living room is full of unopened packages. In the garden there is a studio which from a financial point of view we really need to let, but the surrounding land looks like a building site since our septic tank was installed a while ago. DH has been spending weekends digging up rubble (left by the previous owner) in order to be able to access the area around the studio (we're on a steep slope) and make it attractive. We also had a letter from the police giving us 2 weeks to clear the brambles from our property which are encroaching onto the pedestrian path at the bottom of the garden. 

    In terms of housework, I have basically pretty much opted out since the symptoms kicked in in week 5. So I haven't done any washing, cleaning or cooking at all (not quite true - I managed to clean the kitchen sink and worktops this week and have been hoovering a bit). DH has done a couple of wash loads (this currently involves going to the studio where our only machine is so it's quite a pain) and deals with the dishwasher, goes to the local shop etc. Because he's always worked longer hours I've always taken the brunt of all the house stuff in the past, planning meals etc. But now when I come home from work I just manage to get myself some food (if he hasn't come home yet) and then vegetate on the sofa before bed. Anything else seems like a major undertaking. 

    So basically this week, DH seems to have become irritable and snappy and has made several remarks about things I haven't done (I moved a bucket in the bathroom he needed to clear the blocked shower, didn't clear up some mess in the bathroom, didn't stack the plates in the dishwasher from the previous day). When I asked him to rinse a bit of fruit as well as making the porridge he said, 'oh it's nice having a slave'. On Wednesday I realised I wasn't looking forward to him coming home and got really depressed about it, so that I burst into tears when he did actually get back. I told him that I felt he resented the fact I wasn't doing anything to help out and he was nice and said no, he didn't and he understood I was tired etc etc, he just wanted me to be happy etc). Only yesterday when he got back practically the first thing he said was, 'oh you haven't cleared the plates' and went over and found I hadn't emptied the dishwasher either. I yelled out that clearly he did resent my behaviour despite having said the opposite and didn't speak to him the rest of the evening, I felt so angry. He came and gave me a kiss later on but didn't say sorry or refer to the incident at all. 

    This morning, before going out to take the rubble to the tip, he said 'use your time well'. Like, what??? It was 10.30am on a Saturday and I was still in my pyjamas on the sofa. I felt really resentful towards him and when he came back it just had to come out. He made another comment about me not having shut the window, letting the heat in and I just had a fit. I said, 'are there any more criticisms you'd like to make now, as I'd just like to have them all out in one go and get them over with?' To which he did not react well, getting really wound up and saying I wasn't disabled, I could close a window (that wasn't the point, I hadn't seen the need to close it) and then basically that he understood that I was tired but I wasn't doing ANYTHING at all to help. He had offered to give me a lift up the hill to the food shop as we needed milk and I said I didn't want to go with him, in fact he should leave me alone for the next 9 months, I'd be better off without him and maybe not so depressed. So then of course he went mental saying that I was making it all his fault and I tried to explain that him having a go at me was just the final straw that made the whole thing unbearable. He yelled a few horrid things and then walked out. 

    So there you have the whole sorry state of things. Apologies for how long it is, I just feel than in order to understand the situation all the background is necessary. I feel so depressed about the whole situation and helpless as to how to improve it. I can see that from his point of view he just thinks I have a nerve to have a go at him after everything he's been doing, I'm extremely ungrateful etc etc. He just doesn't appreciate that I can put up with a lot of symptoms, but him being mean is just going to send me into a dark place I can't get out of. I'm sure he doesn't realise how hurtful and stressful it is that I'm not living up to his expectations. He clearly thinks my behaviour is 'abnormal' as he made a comment at the beginning of the week about the tiredness being excessive and that it was supposed to be just 'morning' sickness (clearly he has read NOTHING on the topic), and that I should see my doctor. When I said there was no point he just got cross. I wish he could speak to some male friend who's gone through this and who could tell him what's normal, but he doesn't really have any regular contact with his closest friends and I can't imagine him telling them personal stuff. 

    Anyway, I know you're all going through difficult stuff of your own so I totally understand if you don't have time (or energy) to read all this, still less respond to it, but in a way it's been cathartic just getting it all out into writing. Thank you all for being there anyway, it helps just knowing there are people who understand the other side of a screen :-)
  • @cigaline
    I think our DH's are very similar in certain respects -- mine also works long hours and tends to get grouchy/snippy rather than getting outright angry at first. Mine also had no clue as to what to expect for pregnancy symptoms AND I was on light activity for most of my first trimester due to spotting. So I basically was doing ZERO of my regular household activities (and since I work less than him, I usually did more of the household stuff too) and just vegging out on the couch once I got home. (I found video games very useful during this period since watching tv just got boring and I was spending away our budget on books lol). We got into alot of arguments over him not understanding that I just couldn't physically do some of the stuff I usually did. 

    I think alot of grumpiness is probably also a response to anxiety about pregnancy and not being able to "do" anything to make sure things go well -- my DH is a big "fixer" since he's an engineer type (computer engineer by trade) but he was largely powerless to make sure things went well in my pregnancy and that I felt well. So he was really thrown for a loop by that. He was also stressed out about the prospect of twins initially since we had two heartbeats at our first scan - and then just general financial stuff with a baby.  I made a point of talking to him about when he was relaxed and happy - and I think just talking about our fears and concerns together helped a great deal. So I bet part of your DH's behavior is due to annoyance over the chores/etc and part is likely part of his response to anxiety over the pregnancy. You will likely start feeling better in the next month or two and more able to contribute to household tasks, but maybe pick out a few things together that you know you can manage so he doesn't feel completely overwhelmed and stressed (and then taking it out on you). 

    I'm not sure what resources you have available to you as far as books for him/etc, but most pregnancy books/websites have sections that are designed for partners on what to expect during pregnancy. He might be interested in learning more about what's going on etc. https://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/for-dad/week-by-week/landing-page.aspx  is one I remember reading. You might also see if the midwife can counsel the two of you on what to expect w/ symptoms and how to manage while feeling sick/etc -- my doctor was pretty straightforward during appointments about telling my husband that I wasn't do be doing heavy chores and I needed to be resting. I think some of that stuck!
    ~~ Our Story in Spoiler! TW loss/child~~
    Fall 2012 -- started TTC
    Summer 2015 - no BFP yet, labs normal, referred to RE
    Fall 2015 - Summer 2016 - Further testing all normal. 3 IUI's -- BFN. Recommended move to IVF. Planned cycle for fall 2016.
    September 2016 - Surprise natural BFP. MMC @ 8 weeks. RE expressed confidence that we just needed the 'right' embryo.
    Fall 2016 - Spring 2017 -- Break from TTC
    June 2017 - Started IVF; egg retrieval for freeze all cycle. 9 mature eggs retrieved, 5 fertilized. 2 4BB embies on ice.
    August 2017 - FET transfer both embies. BFP.  Twin pregnancy confirmed by ultrasound. EDD 4/28/18
    September 2017 - Twin B stopped developing; Twin A doing perfectly! Graduated from RE @ 10 weeks
    March 2018 - Baby Girl born via C/S due to pre-eclampsia -- strong and healthy!


    emmasemmsincethelastday
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards