@treetop19 We just finished s3 last night! Question/thoughts in the spoiler!
Did you watch past the credits to the very end of the last ep? I think episode 7 was my favorite. I just wanted the gang to get back together--like, everyone was off doing their own thing & it was all clearly relate & I just hated that they weren't together for a bulk of the season--though I get why they did that. It did make for an epic last two episodes--and also, I can't help but think it's commentary on the CONSTANT connectivity we have today and how we might take that for granted?
AFM: I am having a hard time of it today, over-analyzing every little thing. Googling things like "how much cramping is too much cramping?" etc. It doesn't help that I am stressed over this s l o w l y approaching tropical storm. It was supposed to arrive where I am by noon today, but now it won't be here until later. We really should be fine, but I'm just... having trouble finding something to do to get my mind off being PGAL or the storm. I keep flipping back and forth between these two.
Last night, we finished up s3 of Stranger Things, and that was a nice distraction! I should probably find something like that to bury myself in before the power goes out (they are saying it's probably going to go out once the storm hits--then I'll really be nuts.) I should have POAS this morning, IDK why I decided not to!? It's not like the last 5 wondfos I have are the last HPTs in the universe.
@kagesstarshroom I hop the storm gets there and isn't so bad, FX! I hear you on overanalyzing. Not doing well myself mentally, but that is precisely what I expected!
3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Physically just tired, mostly in the afternoons and evenings then wide awake at bed time. Emotionally surprisingly good.
4. Any appointment updates? First appt is 7/29
5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Rave-my hubby has been amazing. Asking me what foods i want and bringing them home, rubbing my feet, taking care of things meant/question: not so much a rant but I’m going on vacay next week with my parents who we haven’t told yet (waiting for first ultrasound) and my mom has been talking about all the drinking and the hot tub i would normally partake in. Suggestions for keeping them in the dark?
6. Any milestones coming up? Not until the first appointment.
7. GTKY: What is your favorite show/movie on Netflix? Friends, NCIS, The Office, Jane the Virgin.
Hey @mrsklements12817! It’s really good to have you on the board, but I think you checked in on the wrong thread. This is the Pregnant After Loss check-in. Just wanted you to know. It’s sort of a specific thing.
2. Previous loss(es)? 2009 MC at 10 weeks, 2012 early MC/CP at 5 weeks.
3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Emotionally pretty nervous. Peeing on all the sticks and hoping to see darker lines each time.
4. Any appointment updates? I’m calling Monday to schedule my first appointment. They usually schedule it around 7-8 weeks and do a dating scan at that one.
5. Rants/Raves/Questions? The first ultrasound feels so far away. I wish I could get some sort of peace of mind before then.
6. Any milestones coming up? Looking forward to my first appointment.
7. GTKY: What is your favorite show/movie on Netflix? Currently watching Stranger Things, but one of my all time favorites would have to be Dexter.
I don't really have anywhere else I can post about this, but I told my husband today. I was going to wait until at least my first ultrasound, but I was so sick from hand foot and mouth that I went and told him. He reminded me that after this he's done. If I miscarry again he will not try again, and if I have a baby this will be the last one. So it's a lot of pressure and I will SO upset if something happens and he will not try again. My family isn't complete yet, and I am second guessing whether I should have told him so early.... I've had 4 losses already, 3 were in a row before this one. Any advice?
@projectalice I just want to send you all the hugs. My DH has agreed to this third kid, but he would be just fine not having another. So when I had my loss back in May, I was EXTRA stressed (as if you need more of that), because I felt so much pressure that if THIS ONE doesn't make it, I'll NEVER get one... and those feelings are agonizing. My only advice is to sort of tune him out. I think men have their own weird ways of handling loss/pregnancy/birth etc. and it sounds like he is being irrationally and unkindly definitive. Don't beat yourself up for telling him. I hope he comes around and finds a way to be more supportive. Hugs.
@projectalice That is so tough. Family planning is definitely a team decision, but I don’t think men realize how deeply women feel the need to expand the family sometimes. I don’t think you shouldn’t have told him, but I definitely think it’s worth giving him some time to process and then revisiting the conversation. That puts a ton of u fair pressure on you, as there is absolutely nothing you can do to prevent another loss. His word says make your previous losses out to be your fault and that’s not fair or scientifically accurate.
I know at my house, DH is hesitant to tell anyone because he is trying to protect MY emotions, after seeing what I went through last time. But, we have an incredibly supportive family and church and friend circle who really came around us in those days. They just process differently. Either way, I’m so sorry. I’m sending hugs and hope you can have a good conversation soon.
@EmilyLove25 thank you, it is a lot of pressure. I actually didn't tell him about my last one because my pregnancy tests never really got darker and sure enough I miscarried. So I was glad I never said anything or else I wouldn't have had this chance. That's probably why I'm second guessing myself. I guess I can just hope this one turns out, he didn't seem very open to the idea of trying again, he seemed pretty adamant. @RanFan28 it's true, he said he just can't handle another loss. I said I'm the one who is actually carrying the baby and experience the miscarriage and loss, which may be unfair.... He said that didn't matter, that it still hurt him when it happened and doesn't want to experience it again. It does sort of make me feel like whatever happens will be my fault. It doesn't help that I seem to have come down with hand foot and mouth and am battling low grade fevers. So of course I worry about damage to the baby. So much pressure. Of course if there WAS damage due to fever I would blame myself! I caught it from our son. Anyway, thank you guys, I can't really post this to the main wall, and stress everyone else out.
@projectalice I just want to send you so many hugs. As if there isn’t enough pressure already, I’m so sorry. I understand why you wouldn’t want to tell him, Although it seems so unfair for him to project the negativity on you.
You cant blame yourself even if you have a fever. I know it’s hard. I still struggle with blaming myself for my first loss, which happened shortly after I had a very violent stomach bug that landed me in the ER. But the truth is, with early miscarriages, we rarely know what the cause was.
I hope you’re able to find some peace and just focus on the positives. my friend told me a mantra to repeat whenever I’m feeling anxious “today I am pregnant and I love my baby!”
@projectalice I agree with what @RanFan28 has said, " I don’t think you shouldn’t have told him, but I definitely think it’s worth giving him some time to process and then revisiting the conversation." I want to add that I think it's hard for our OHs to see us suffer & even if those aren't the words/language he is using to describe why he doesn't want to try again, I am sure that's part of it. I also agree with @miss.sally that as much as possible, if you can focus on the positive, do that. I was also going to literally say what miss.sally said about the mantra, though mine is slightly different. I learned it from the Sept. '19 bmb I was briefly a part of, and I am surprised at how often I think it since I found out last week: "today I am pregnant, today I am happy." BIG HUGS, and good vibes that this is a sticky bean.
@kagesstarshroom - yeah, I watched Stranger Things to the end. It did make you think a little, the gang doesn't have smartphones to be in constant touch with everyone like we do now. I think having the gang branch out into different groups helped the storyline out, but I too wanted to see them all together. The first part of the season was so slow-moving, those last 2 episodes were a shocker - I thought it would be nice to have the whole season like the last 2, then I realized it might be a little overwhelming trying to catch everything going on! good luck with the storm...
@projectalice - sorry you're going through this. pgal is not easy to begin with. hope your hubby comes around. I know how that goes.. mine didn't want a third, but when he saw how much I did, he eventually warmed up to the idea. after our last loss, I was afraid he would say he wasn't going to try again - but, to my surprise, he agreed to. It made handling that loss a little easier. I don't know what I would do if I was in your situation, other than, as everyone else has said, try to stay positive. easier said than done, I know!
Appointment update for me - I went in for my second beta draw, and they told me it wasn't needed? (after letting me sit in the waiting room for an hour) Never heard of that before. Plus, no one from my midwife's office had told me a second draw wouldn't be needed. I thought the whole point of betas was to see if they double. I didn't argue with them, but I wonder wtf they are thinking. Anyway, they did schedule an ultrasound for Wed. this week... Wed can't come fast enough.
@miss.sally thank you, I'm trying to focus on that, but I'm making it even harder on myself. I took a test Saturday and today and compared them, and there's no line progression at all. So of course now I'm worrying about that... I did call around today until I found a doctor willing to do labs and check my levels. No idea why mine wouldn't, since he did last time. Whatever the case, wed will be my first appointment and hopefully my first draw. @kagesstarshroom he did mention he didn't like seeing me go through it either. But if I'm willing to do so until I get a healthy baby or give up... I guess he just isn't is what he's saying. @treetop19 that is strange not to do a follow up beta, but if you're having an ultrasound wed that's a better way to determine viability anyway, so that's probably why they're skipping it?
Re: PGAL Check In Week of 7/8
AFM: I am having a hard time of it today, over-analyzing every little thing. Googling things like "how much cramping is too much cramping?" etc. It doesn't help that I am stressed over this s l o w l y approaching tropical storm. It was supposed to arrive where I am by noon today, but now it won't be here until later. We really should be fine, but I'm just... having trouble finding something to do to get my mind off being PGAL or the storm. I keep flipping back and forth between these two.
Last night, we finished up s3 of Stranger Things, and that was a nice distraction! I should probably find something like that to bury myself in before the power goes out (they are saying it's probably going to go out once the storm hits--then I'll really be nuts.) I should have POAS this morning, IDK why I decided not to!? It's not like the last 5 wondfos I have are the last HPTs in the universe.
DD1 EDD 9/29/2015, Born 9/24/2015
DS1 EDD 1/3/2018, Born 12/26/2017
BFP #3 3/21/2019, EDD 11/29/2019, MMC/D&C 5/7/2019
BFP #4 6/28/2019, EDD 3/12/2020
Me: 31 | DH: 33
DS1: 12.23.13 | DS2: 05.06.16
BFP: 06.30.19 | EDD: 3.9.20
TTC3: 11.18
BFP: 02.05.19
CP: 03.07.19
*really traumatic recovery*
2. Previous loss(es)? 2009 MC at 10 weeks, 2012 early MC/CP at 5 weeks.
3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Emotionally pretty nervous. Peeing on all the sticks and hoping to see darker lines each time.
4. Any appointment updates? I’m calling Monday to schedule my first appointment. They usually schedule it around 7-8 weeks and do a dating scan at that one.
5. Rants/Raves/Questions? The first ultrasound feels so far away. I wish I could get some sort of peace of mind before then.
6. Any milestones coming up? Looking forward to my first appointment.
7. GTKY: What is your favorite show/movie on Netflix? Currently watching Stranger Things, but one of my all time favorites would have to be Dexter.
He reminded me that after this he's done. If I miscarry again he will not try again, and if I have a baby this will be the last one.
So it's a lot of pressure and I will SO upset if something happens and he will not try again. My family isn't complete yet, and I am second guessing whether I should have told him so early.... I've had 4 losses already, 3 were in a row before this one.
Any advice?
DD1 EDD 9/29/2015, Born 9/24/2015
DS1 EDD 1/3/2018, Born 12/26/2017
BFP #3 3/21/2019, EDD 11/29/2019, MMC/D&C 5/7/2019
BFP #4 6/28/2019, EDD 3/12/2020
I know at my house, DH is hesitant to tell anyone because he is trying to protect MY emotions, after seeing what I went through last time. But, we have an incredibly supportive family and church and friend circle who really came around us in those days. They just process differently. Either way, I’m so sorry. I’m sending hugs and hope you can have a good conversation soon.
Me: 31 | DH: 33
DS1: 12.23.13 | DS2: 05.06.16
BFP: 06.30.19 | EDD: 3.9.20
TTC3: 11.18
BFP: 02.05.19
CP: 03.07.19
*really traumatic recovery*
That's probably why I'm second guessing myself. I guess I can just hope this one turns out, he didn't seem very open to the idea of trying again, he seemed pretty adamant.
@RanFan28 it's true, he said he just can't handle another loss. I said I'm the one who is actually carrying the baby and experience the miscarriage and loss, which may be unfair.... He said that didn't matter, that it still hurt him when it happened and doesn't want to experience it again.
It does sort of make me feel like whatever happens will be my fault. It doesn't help that I seem to have come down with hand foot and mouth and am battling low grade fevers. So of course I worry about damage to the baby. So much pressure.
Anyway, thank you guys, I can't really post this to the main wall, and stress everyone else out.
You cant blame yourself even if you have a fever. I know it’s hard. I still struggle with blaming myself for my first loss, which happened shortly after I had a very violent stomach bug that landed me in the ER. But the truth is, with early miscarriages, we rarely know what the cause was.
I hope you’re able to find some peace and just focus on the positives. my friend told me a mantra to repeat whenever I’m feeling anxious “today I am pregnant and I love my baby!”
Appointment update for me - I went in for my second beta draw, and they told me it wasn't needed? (after letting me sit in the waiting room for an hour) Never heard of that before. Plus, no one from my midwife's office had told me a second draw wouldn't be needed. I thought the whole point of betas was to see if they double. I didn't argue with them, but I wonder wtf they are thinking. Anyway, they did schedule an ultrasound for Wed. this week... Wed can't come fast enough.
I did call around today until I found a doctor willing to do labs and check my levels. No idea why mine wouldn't, since he did last time. Whatever the case, wed will be my first appointment and hopefully my first draw.
@kagesstarshroom he did mention he didn't like seeing me go through it either. But if I'm willing to do so until I get a healthy baby or give up... I guess he just isn't is what he's saying.
@treetop19 that is strange not to do a follow up beta, but if you're having an ultrasound wed that's a better way to determine viability anyway, so that's probably why they're skipping it?