Carrying tradition? — The Bump
Baby Names

Carrying tradition?

My husband is a junior and I’m not planning on carrying the name on. Am I horrible person and how have other people tackled this? I was hoping to use my father’s name and my husband’s as a middle name.  I am an only child. My husband is OK with it, but I’m concerned about in-law backlash.  HALP.

Re: Carrying tradition?

  • My husband is a jr and I made it clear from the beginning that tradition was not going to be carried on. DH was fine with it so I asked him to deal with any IL backlash. Bottom line is you can name your kid whatever you want. You don't owe anyone anything as long as your DH is on board. And definitely get his help wth messaging that to his family. Maybe you'll get lucky and they won't care!
    You could also not reveal anything name-wise until baby is here. That way it's harder for anyone to complain after the name is already attached to a baby!
  • ^WSS. DH is not a junior but shares the same first name with his dad. It has created all kinds of problems with our credit reports and other things of that nature. We also stylistically weren’t into naming our son the same first name. We picked a name we liked and that was his name. The IL’s said nothing. If they would have, I would have shut them down right away. 
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  • I agree with previous posters. My husband, his father and his grandfather all have the same first name with different middle names. We get mail mixed up and calls about credit and stuff all the time that should be going to his father. When we started having kids my husband suggested using the same first name for a son and I said absolutely not. We found a name we love so much more and his family said nothing.
  • If you feel like carrying on with tradition...somewhat anyway, use the same initials.
  • If you and your husband agree not to carry on - your decision no one else's.  Who cares what the in laws say, you are the parents, not them.
  • An option if you’re looking for a middle ground, is to carry on the initials. My husband’s family tradition is the initials JDS and we decided early on that even if our first was a girl (which she is) we would give her those initials.
    DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
  • You could always make your husband’s first name the baby’s middle name. DH is a second and we talked about going that route if we were to ever have a boy. As far as the in-laws I would never bring it up. And, if they do bring it up then I agree with PP that you should have your husband deal with it.
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