So on the name topic, is anyone weirded out by the idea of naming your kid after someone? I feel like a lot of people do it and it gives the name a lot of meaning. And it doesn’t weird me out when other people do it. Just the idea of naming my kid after someone else. I guess I’m not traditional enough 🤷🏻♀️ MH wants to use his grandpas middle name as this baby’s middle name. Which I get. But it just makes me feel weird
@MrsJessS - I named DD's middle name after her grandmother whom I never got to meet. I think it's different because I never met her. But it's kind of weird thinking about naming the baby after someone who I've actually known.
My family is all about family names. I'm maybe the first one to not use a family name as DD's first name, but her middle name is my former middle name, and my mom's maiden name. We'll probably do the same for this baby, a "new" first name, and a family middle name.
Me: 31
DH: 32
Married: Sep 2012
TTC #1: Jan 2015 Baby A (via IUI due to MFI): Sep 2016 born at 35+6
Surprise but very welcome + on 5/16/2019, EDD 1/25/2020
@MrsJessS I'm with you. I think it's weird. My child is his/her own person and deserves their own name and to make their own legacy. I'm kinda weird about names anyway though. I once refused to date a guy because he had the same name as my dad. It was just too creepy for me!
I grew up with family names as middle names. I have the same middle name as my uncle and grandfather. It was also my great grandfathers first name. I almost feel a little weird not using it. We gave ds my husbands first name as his middle. I liked how it flowed and it still gave us a chance to use a family name. If it sounds good and you like it/want to use it, go for it. I wouldn’t do it out of obligation though.
@peppyj9 dating a guy with your dad's name is totally creepy! Completely agree with you on that.
I think it depends on how well/much you know the other person. There are only so many names out there and unless you make up one, there's going to be someone else with the same name. If you don't know a lot of people with a certain name, then it's easier to have your kid be their own person. If you know a lot of people or one person really well with a name, it's hard not to reflect that on a kid. You want them to almost grow into the attributes/characteristics of a name.
@MrsJessS my husband was adamant to name DS after his grandpa and I refused. I told him I wanted our LO to be their own person and have their own name. I also thought it would be a little crappy to our other grandparents (all of whom are no longer with us but still). But why should his grandpa be "honored" and not mine!
With that being said we did use MH's middle name for our LO which is a name that has been in his family for a while. I'm fine with a family name being used as a middle name. I was even on board with using MH's name as DS's middle name but for whatever reason that was weird to him 🙄.
TTC#1 since Jan 2015 BFP 2/19/15 • MMC found at 9 wks • D&E at 11 wks (age 36) BFP 8/29/15 • CP (age 37)
BFP 11/18/15 • DD born at 41 weeks (age 37/38)
TTC#2 since May 2017 BFP 10/18/17 • MMC found at 8 wks • Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39) BFP 2/16/18 • CP (age 39) BFP 4/13/18 • CP (age 39) BFP 5/07/18 • MMC found at 10.5 wks • D&E at 11.5 wks • Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40) 9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied) RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy. BFP 9/24/18 • CP (age 40)
BFP 5/11/19 • Fraternal twins • MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w) • Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)
@peppyj9 - My sister married a guy with our dad's first name, and my husband is also my brother's name, and now my other brother is dating a girl with my first name, and another sister is dating a guy with my brother's middle name. Confusing? Yeah. That's what happens when everyone has really common names.
@dumbledoredies yeah that’s exactly where we are MH’s grandpa just passed away and he wants to use his name as this baby’s middle name if it’s a boy. And I’m trying to be compassionate and give it a chance but nope. I just can’t. Possibly also in part because every person in MH’s husband has to comment on every. single. picture I post of DS and say how much he looks like some member of their family. It’s been going for nearly two years already and I’m beyond over it. And I’m so no my cool with all the “my daddy lives on in his great grandson” forever and ever. Sorry. That turned into a rant lmao
@MrsJessS if it’s going to get that kind of reaction....that'd be a hell no from me. I wouldn’t be able to handle someone commenting on his name for the rest of his life.
@kbrown2385 they’ll find something to comment about regardless but yeah. That’s a big reason. I could have a child that was born looking like my twin and they would find someone in their family to say it looked like instead.
@MrsJessS - Okay, that would be really annoying. I haven't gotten much about DD, other than saying she looks like one of my aunts or grandmother. She's beginning to look like me, so I don't mind much. The only thing that has bothered me, is calling her by her middle name (my grandmother's name). They used to say "Baby (grandmother's name)" completely dropping the first name. No one does that much now though.
@MrsJessS that would make me so angry. I dealt with that early on with my in-laws. Everything tied back to them. DD looked exactly like DH, acted like him or my FIL, and my MIL would refer to DD as her baby. I felt like a surrogate. Luckily, DD now looks more like me and they're starting to recognize that. But the first year, it was all about them.
@MrsJessS I completely get the name thing. Mh wants to name a potential boy after his dad. I dont like the name & would never call my child that so have had to be the bitch that says “no you cant name our child after your dead dad”. We had that conversation quite recently before I got pregnant, I feel a little shitty about it but ultimately I dont want to name my child that. my mil tried her very best to say dd looked like mh when she was born but has since given up as there is no denying she is my absolute mini me in all ways 😂
@marebear15 ugh skipping her actual name to use the family name would make me irate
@persnickity omy my MIL does the same thing! Calls him “my ‘DS name’” and I’m like yeah nooooo. He’s not yours. He’s my son. She’s a big fan of saving my pics off Facebook and reposting them as her own too 🙄
@leprechaunlady yes! I’m like I’m sorry but we aren’t naming this kid after your grandpa just because he passed away while I was pregnant. Just no. And yeah. It’s not a name I would ever consider using otherwise
I guess it depends really, my name is my mums middle name, my aunts first name, my grandmothers middle name and great grandmothers first name hahah. They are all spelt in different variations but I think it’s cool. I gave my daughter the same middle name, it felt right. 🤷♀️
@MrsJessS that sounds rough! Try and hold your own and do what feels right to you and your family.
I'm solidly convinced my cat knows something is up now. He's not a lap cat, more of i'm going to lay pressed up as close as I can without actually being on your lap sorta cat. But recently he's been all over me. On my lap. Or on my stomach in the mornings in bed. And this morning, my husband and I were spooning before getting up. and the damn thing decided to crawl up on my side and lay down on my side, straddling me. LOL. He's never done this before. Weirdo LOL.
@MrsJessS - Those comments would get really old really fast. I don't really care if my kids look like me or not, but I could see those types of comments rubbing me the wrong way too.
@marebear15 - I married a man with the same name as my brother. My mother insisted that DH go by the shortened version of the name while my brother go by the full name (because that's what he is trying to go by as an adult). What stinks is that my brother went by the shortened version growing up and everyone in the family knows him by the that. So basically everyone calls DH and my brother the shortened version. It frustrates DH and basically everyone else. We should have just done it the other way around.
I actually like family names, especially as a middle name. I got my name because there was a girl in my mom's high school with my name and she liked it. They weren't friends or anything. I kinda hate that there is no meaning behind my name. Personally I'm not too worried about creating my own brand/legacy. I was going to get my great-grandmother's name for my middle name, but girl's don't get middle names in my dad's family (apparently he was the only one who carried on that tradition. Another thing I don't like. My daughters will have at least one). The thing is, my great-grandmother was a pretty interesting women. I would have loved to have shared a name with her. DS has a family name on DH's side for a middle name, but it's from a few generations back so it would hard to compare personalities even if people wanted to.
What's weird for DH and me, but not when I see other's do it, is naming a child after ourselves.
@spacemountaineer I'm also named after a girl my mom went to high school with just because she liked the name. They weren't friends either lol. I always thought it was kinda lame that I was named after some random girl my mom didn't even really know, BUT, I love my name because it's not very common and ultimately I'm glad that I'm not named after someone my mom was close to because I feel like I'd always be compared or something. Obviously there's always going to be someone with the same name, but it strikes me as odd to name someone specifically after someone else. It really feels like you're bestowing that person's character onto a baby and it just doesn't sit right with me. Also think it's weird when people name their kids after themselves. It feels almost narcissistic lol.
My oldest has my mom's name as her middle name. My mom passed away before I met H, so my daughter knows of her but doesn't know her. I think it's nice. It doesn't feel to me like a name she has to live up to, or that she has to be like my mom. But when I say her whole name I hear it, and that means something to me. And I hope it is just a little connection for my daughter. Otherwise my parents are just so removed from my family, because they never met, so I like bringing her in in one small way.
Has anyone else who has worked as a teacher, in the medical field, or another profession where you encountered a lot of people who you weren't fond of and have ruined names for you and are having a hard time picking out names because it? I worked at a psychiatric hospital after graduating college. I vetoed quite a few of DH's names choices as they were the same as unpleasant patients or their internal stimuli.
@peppyj9 -My name was uncommon until the year I was born and then it skyrocketed in popularity. Which is why DH and I prefer names not on the top 20 list (he also has a super common name).
I realize using family names isnt for everyone. I think for me it just helps give the name a deeper significance, like people who pick names because of the meaning. I grew up in a family where it was common to use family names but I never saw the older generation compare the kids to whom they were named after. They were always encouraged to pursue their own interests and develop unique personalities. I like using family names and if that makes me weird or odd, well, let's be honest, it's just another reason to add to the list. 😁🤷♀️
@spacemountaineer - We work with 3 year olds at church, and there are definitely some names that have been ruined for us. DH sometimes vetoes names because of a high school friend or a random movie character (Theodore was vetoed because of Alvin and the Chipmunks).
So I tried the B6/Unisom combo and it brought my nausea from a 8 to a 7....still not much relief. I just picked up from Zofran. Any tips on when to take it? I am getting on a plane tomorrow and would really prefer to not feel like shit.
We are planning on telling our parents tomorrow about the pregnancy. Both of our parents live 9+ hours away so it will be over FaceTime. Any fun ideas on how to tell them? I got ds a “best brother” shirt but I have a feeling he’ll refuse to wear it. He kind of freaked when we told him about the baby the other night.
@kbrown2385 if he refuses the shirt, is he still of the age where he'll blurt it out anyway? Depending on due date, what about saying something about your new years celebration being a few days later this year?
Re: Weekly Randoms 6/10-6/16
MH wants to use his grandpas middle name as this baby’s middle name. Which I get. But it just makes me feel weird
Baby A (via IUI due to MFI): Sep 2016 born at 35+6
I think it depends on how well/much you know the other person. There are only so many names out there and unless you make up one, there's going to be someone else with the same name. If you don't know a lot of people with a certain name, then it's easier to have your kid be their own person. If you know a lot of people or one person really well with a name, it's hard not to reflect that on a kid. You want them to almost grow into the attributes/characteristics of a name.
With that being said we did use MH's middle name for our LO which is a name that has been in his family for a while. I'm fine with a family name being used as a middle name. I was even on board with using MH's name as DS's middle name but for whatever reason that was weird to him 🙄.
BFP 2/19/15 • MMC found at 9 wks • D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
BFP 8/29/15 • CP (age 37)
TTC#2 since May 2017
BFP 10/18/17 • MMC found at 8 wks • Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)
BFP 2/16/18 • CP (age 39)
BFP 4/13/18 • CP (age 39)
BFP 5/07/18 • MMC found at 10.5 wks • D&E at 11.5 wks • Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)
RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.
BFP 9/24/18 • CP (age 40)
Confusing? Yeah. That's what happens when everyone has really common names.
my mil tried her very best to say dd looked like mh when she was born but has since given up as there is no denying she is my absolute mini me in all ways 😂
But my name, Anastasia is a family name. It's my dad's and grandfather's middle name. And I really like my name.
PG #2: EDD 8/15/23 Miscarried 9w1d 1/11/23
PG #3: EDD 12/15/23
@persnickity omy my MIL does the same thing! Calls him “my ‘DS name’” and I’m like yeah nooooo. He’s not yours. He’s my son. She’s a big fan of saving my pics off Facebook and reposting them as her own too 🙄
@leprechaunlady yes! I’m like I’m sorry but we aren’t naming this kid after your grandpa just because he passed away while I was pregnant. Just no. And yeah. It’s not a name I would ever consider using otherwise
@MrsJessS that sounds rough! Try and hold your own and do what feels right to you and your family.
PG #2: EDD 8/15/23 Miscarried 9w1d 1/11/23
PG #3: EDD 12/15/23
@marebear15 - I married a man with the same name as my brother. My mother insisted that DH go by the shortened version of the name while my brother go by the full name (because that's what he is trying to go by as an adult). What stinks is that my brother went by the shortened version growing up and everyone in the family knows him by the that. So basically everyone calls DH and my brother the shortened version. It frustrates DH and basically everyone else. We should have just done it the other way around.
I actually like family names, especially as a middle name. I got my name because there was a girl in my mom's high school with my name and she liked it. They weren't friends or anything. I kinda hate that there is no meaning behind my name. Personally I'm not too worried about creating my own brand/legacy. I was going to get my great-grandmother's name for my middle name, but girl's don't get middle names in my dad's family (apparently he was the only one who carried on that tradition. Another thing I don't like. My daughters will have at least one). The thing is, my great-grandmother was a pretty interesting women. I would have loved to have shared a name with her. DS has a family name on DH's side for a middle name, but it's from a few generations back so it would hard to compare personalities even if people wanted to.
What's weird for DH and me, but not when I see other's do it, is naming a child after ourselves.
BFP 3.8.16 EDD 11.20.16
@peppyj9 -My name was uncommon until the year I was born and then it skyrocketed in popularity.
I realize using family names isnt for everyone. I think for me it just helps give the name a deeper significance, like people who pick names because of the meaning. I grew up in a family where it was common to use family names but I never saw the older generation compare the kids to whom they were named after. They were always encouraged to pursue their own interests and develop unique personalities. I like using family names and if that makes me weird or odd, well, let's be honest, it's just another reason to add to the list. 😁🤷♀️