@bartonolivia with my last pregnancy, I had the choice to do it. I didn’t want to. I heard it was a 50/50 shot of working. And baby could flip right on over at any point. I’m not going to subject myself to that pain to not have a scar across my belly. I will gladly take the scar. And I did. But I also think that because DH and I were rear ended at 34 weeks, I think she stayed up in my ribs. Her head was clearly in my right rib from there on out.
@jasonsgirl78 oh yeah. I’m not a ftm lol this is my 3rd. My boys were head down the entire time from 20 weeks on so I’ve been constantly worrying. I know that she has time to flip but I suffer from severe anxiety anyway so I just can’t stop thinking about it.
@foodislove I'm so glad you and your LO are ok. How are you feeling today?
I've really hit the pregnancy wall these last few weeks. I have soo much to do around the farm, house, and haven't even started getting anything out and ready for the baby but I'm a miserable mess. Blah.
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
@nopegoat Doing okay, still ouchie. I was cleared for massage by my OBGYN so I immediately scheduled a new one for today and hoping that helps with the back pain. At least my neck and knees are starting to feel fine. I have also hit the wall, though. I can't reach my feet anymore (eff laced shoes) and bending over is really a no go. M is not pleased. I feel awful because our house is getting in a state, and I only have the one! Not a farm and four like you, jeez, I can't imagine.
I can barely keep my eyes open today (and I actually slept good last night). I also have tons of pelvic pain and pleasure out of nowhere. So much still has to be done to combine our oldest two into a bedroom and get the nursery together and I can barely function.
@mama_bear19 - If you return to work for at least 30 days, they no longer have the right to reimbursement under FMLA. Some states might have different rights to reimbursement laws.
@cindler Interesting article. I guess, having a background in working with small businesses that's it's unfair to paint the employer as the wrongful party. IMO it's the whole system that's broken and the small business is working within the rules. As much as she can say $2,600 is a lot for a family--it can be a lot for a business as well.
I would just say to everyone--make sure to educate yourself on the benefits and any requirements. While we were trying for 3 years i stayed at my previous job because i knew they had 9 weeks of paid leave--but you could only keep that if you worked for 60 days after returning. I even had a conversation with HR (totally cart before the horse, I know...) of what was the definition of the 60 days, was it just 60 days, 60 work days, or 60 days worked (meaning if i took PTO did those not count). I wanted to make sure there were zero surprises.
I had to quit that job because of the stress and needs of IVF and now have zero benefits but that was a choice i didn't take lightly.
@blackhottamales I totally agree with your assertion that painting the small business as the bad guy was inappropriate. I am an income producing part of my small business and I am very aware of how even my absence will affect the firm, let alone benefits they may pay while I'm gone.
I posted the article because I know a few women are planning to quit while on leave or right after. I thought it was a good thing for all of us to keep on our radars. Everyone should be having a conversation with their HR person (or doing their own research) so they know all of the costs and benefits of leave.
I just tried taking off my toe nail polish.... it’s the shellac... yeah, that went well. I don’t think I can even clip my toe nails. It may be a walk in pedicure day.... 🤣
just realized I should have heard from my student loan servicer for my new repayment stuff a week or 2 ago and have not heard from them... on hold now hopefully to get my payment reduced as my family size is increasing and my income has decreased.
We moved into this house that seriously has 3 bedrooms and one closet 😭 and DH has more clothes than I've owned all together in my whole life. I got dressers for me, DS, and the baby but I'm at a huge loss at to what to do for all DHs button up shirts and jackets etc. Hanging stuff basically. We have this weird room I can only describe as a square hallway (it's a room with either a door or archway on every wall) and I was thinking of putting like a portable closet in there that zips up or closes somehow so it's not ugly but I keep reading reviews on them that say they can't hold much and DH has much clothes lol. What should I do??? Anyone DIY/crafty/small house around here? 😅
For this child I prayed; and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of him. Samuel 1:27 KJV DS born 1.25.18 (my rainbow) | Baby Girl Due 7.25.19
@cindler ugh. The amount of money it cost for me to become a teacher and get paid shit is ridiculous. My repayment was set to go from $140 a month to $600 a month. And my union is getting ready to vote to strike in September because we have been working with out a contract for 2 years.
So yeah, need that income driven repayment to go way down! And I need to find some revenue streams because I will not get paid while we are striking in the fall.
@jasonsgirl92 I also have one of those tiny three-bedroom one closet type homes and a clothes horse DH..
We have an Ikea wardrobe in the master + an Ikea "dresser" with 8 felt storage cubes, a small Ikea dresser for DS in his room, and an Ikea wardrobe in our weird alcove hallway spot.
The hallway wardrobe has the most hanging space, so I've given it to DH for all of his button-up shirts.
The wardrobe in our bedroom has two sides, one has my hanging stuff, shoes, accessories, the other half we use for bed linens.
In the third bedroom, which is a flex space, we have a small Ikea Kallax "dresser" with 4 felt cubes, that will be where all of LO's clothes, cloth diapers, supplies will go.
@jasonsgirl92 Are you in an older home? From when everyone used to have those big old wardrobes? There are some regions that define bedrooms based on whether or not the room has a closet... Not that that helps you at all - I just find it interesting. It can totally change a home's description. Maybe look into some of those "Ikea Hacks" for built-in closets? You could also try underbed storage containers for any clothes that don't get a lot of use or are out of season.
My DH also has way more clothes than I do.... He's been using what will now be the baby's closet as his second closet for years, but he has started trying to pare it down. I may have started moving the baby's things in there already though. It's kind of amusing to see the the tiny pink onsies next to his suits.
@jasonsgirl92 Can you install a curved or L-shaped rod in the "hall" or corner of the bedroom? Hang some curtains on it to hide his clothes behind? You could put a portable closet behind it (maybe the ones that don't zip up are bigger?) or hang two rods, and put his clothing on one (make sure that one can handle the weight!)?
@cindler and @mama_bear19 I will say that the 30-day return only applies to what they are required to continue to offer you under FMLA. Which is that they must continue to pay your premiums on your group insurance, so they could require that you repay the insurance premiums under the right to reimbursement under FMLA.
Anything else would be answered by your employer, for example, the situation for @blackhottamales where her employer offered an additional benefit, the right to that benefit was agreed upon as part of her employment and the rules were also agreed upon.
Had my very first chiropractic adjustment ever, today! Hoping it will help my back pain to ease up and hopefully align things for an easier delivery. I'm thinking I'll probably be kicking myself for not having done it sooner!
On a side note, I actually went to this place yesterday. My mil watched my girls and it was about a 25 min drive to the chiropractor. They're a bit off the beaten path, so I had to turn around a few times until I found it! Walk up to the door, and a woman walks towards me and asks if I'm there to see the chiropractor (her husband). I said yes, and she goes "Oh no! We're closed on Wednesdays, your appointment is for tomorrow!" 🤦🏼♀️ I could have sworn she told me on the phone on Tuesday that it was for tomorrow (Wed). So to make my trip worth it I stopped at my favorite consignment store on the way home and found some cute shirts for 15% off. Thankfully my mil was more than happy to watch my girls again today, but what a waste of time!! I'm sticking to that she told me wrong instead of my brain betraying me🤣🤣
@jasonsgirl92 Tell DH two words: Marie Kondo. (I'm a minimalist and DH sounds like he has WAY too many clothes!)
@indulgentgypsy DH had a huge jump in his IBR payment too. We chalked it up to the raise he got, but now thinking otherwise. He's taken a public service position now in large part for the public service forgiveness. Have you looked into teacher loan forgiveness? I got my undergrad loans forgiven because I taught in a public school in a high need area (math) for 5 years. That was 7 years ago, though, so it might not be a thing anymore.
@kingdommom I hope the chiropractor changes your life! I love getting adjusted!!!
Today I had to leave my house by 6 am go drive an hour to the hospital for an ultrasound. I have my regular ob appointment at a different hospital at 10:30 and a nonstress test at 11:30. I'm already exhausted lol.
@cb123391 Those mornings are hard! I hope you’re able to get some caffeine into you!! I’m doing biweekly NST tests too. Had to get my blood drawn AND pee sample yesterday (which I haven’t had to do since the first tri).
@jenniferjoy37 it's funny how things start to circle around again in the final trimester, huh? I go every Tuesday and Friday for NST so hopefully these babies cooperate each time so I'm not here all day.
Back at the OBGYN for my glucose 1hr. I begged for a nonorange drink and she had ordered me a clear fruit punch special since they lost it before. So grateful! It was delicious and didn't burn going down at all. Now I will read fanfiction on my phone while I wait.
@mamanbebe that all sounds awesome! I still need a fix for his winter coat collection (we live in southeastern Florida 🙄🤔) and suit jackets but I included a pic of what we ended up putting in our room for the shirt collection lol. @keebler6elf yeah I think it was built in the sixties and also it is technically a "2br" because the one room has literally no closet, our room has a closet full of the air handler, and only DS has a closet 😂 we have a tiny linen closet but whoever lived here first practically killed it. No ceiling in there and one wall inside has been ripped out 🤷 so we have to fix it up first before use. For now I have a dresser in the square hall for blankets and towels but it's not big enough. @fromcatstokids that's what we ended up doing for his shirts! I got him to do it and it looks ok. I'm not that pressed that it's not covered up since it's in our room. I think I'm gonna get an Ikea thingy for the hall and throw his giant winter coat collection in there. @cindler haha yeah well if we divied up our house based on who's stuff was who's I'd be able to pack up like 5 boxes, maybe less, but he would have a whole bedroom stacked tall of junk 😂😂😂 He's better than his dad though so I can't complain too much 😬
For this child I prayed; and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of him. Samuel 1:27 KJV DS born 1.25.18 (my rainbow) | Baby Girl Due 7.25.19
@cindler I am hoping to do loan forgiveness, but I have to pay on time for 10 years and work in a high needs subject in a high needs area. That has only been the last 3 years for me, and for the last 2 I have not been able to pay my loans over the summer because I did not get paid over the summer. I'm still hoping to qualify for fthe forgiveness program eventually.
@jasonsgirl92 We ended up getting a small storage unit to deal with our overflow of seasonal clothing, etc, but my two suggestions at home would be to either a) get some under-bed clothing storage containers (Home Depot and Lowes definitely sell these) or b) if you have an attic space, put down some plywood on the rafters and then you could stow big rubbermaid storage totes w/ lids up there.
So I thought all was good from my NST and blood work. Got a call from the OB. The test for proteins in urine was “undetectable”, so either on the low or high side. They’re erring on the side of caution and making me do a 24 hr urine test. Ugh, I did this last pregnancy, and I had DD 5 days later. I’m praying that’s not the case this go around. Fundal height puts baby a week behind now, where 4 weeks ago he was a week ahead. Not ready for this emotional roller coaster the last few weeks of pregnancy.
Oh no @jenniferjoy37, I hope it’s nothing too serious and I hope LO can keep growing in there a little longer. Hopefully you can find out more soon. Not knowing is so hard.
@jenniferjoy37 good luck I also had to do 24 hour urine twice during my last pregnancy (both after high BPs induced by poorly managed anxiety...never developed pre-E).
Hoping that it’s not pre-E yet and if it is that they can manage it with magnesium and keep baby in for a bit longer!
@jenniferjoy37@frenchbaby18 I also just got told I have to do the 24h urine thing after a single high BP reading. Not looking forward to it. My diastolic was OK, my systolic was the problem. FX it's nothing for both/all of us...
@greeneyedgirl12 it’s so stressful! This time around I’ve actually just been monitoring at home daily and bringing my printout into appointments which has greatly reduced my anxiety. Then I also do a complete urine test each month for proteins instead of the quick test they usually do at appointments.
I think starting next appointment (June 5th) they will make me have my BP taken at the office so I know I’ll be back to this stress for the last 2 months of pregnancy...
At this point just seeing a BP machine in a doctor’s office makes mine shoot through the roof...
I get white lab coat syndrome too and actually ask them to wait a few minutes and let me do a little deep breathing before they take my blood pressure.
Not sure if anyone else watched The Big Ban Theory--but I watched the series finale last night. It was so good. I'm going to miss that show. I'm usually more of a drama genre person, but for some reason I have always loved watching that show. It was such a wonderful uplifting way to end the series.
@frenchbaby18@jenniferjoy37 I don't think mine is white coat syndrome, but I do think it's appointment-related anxiety, that I just want to hear everything is OK, but this time apparently my protein was a little high, too. My BP was super-high the first couple times they took it at my last MFM appointment, too, but it's because that doc has offices at 2 hospitals and I went to the wrong one, so I raced (as fast as my 31w butt could "race") to the right one and and they checked my urine then too and weren't worried...
Plus, my OB isn't making me do it until I get back from NYC, AND she told me to have fun and enjoy my trip, so she can't be THAT worried, which is encouraging. I was careful to get up and walk around on my flights this morning though...
Re: Randoms Week of 5/13
Thank you girls for the reassurance 💕
I've really hit the pregnancy wall these last few weeks. I have soo much to do around the farm, house, and haven't even started getting anything out and ready for the baby but I'm a miserable mess. Blah.
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
I would just say to everyone--make sure to educate yourself on the benefits and any requirements. While we were trying for 3 years i stayed at my previous job because i knew they had 9 weeks of paid leave--but you could only keep that if you worked for 60 days after returning. I even had a conversation with HR (totally cart before the horse, I know...) of what was the definition of the 60 days, was it just 60 days, 60 work days, or 60 days worked (meaning if i took PTO did those not count). I wanted to make sure there were zero surprises.
I had to quit that job because of the stress and needs of IVF and now have zero benefits but that was a choice i didn't take lightly.
@blackhottamales I totally agree with your assertion that painting the small business as the bad guy was inappropriate. I am an income producing part of my small business and I am very aware of how even my absence will affect the firm, let alone benefits they may pay while I'm gone.
I posted the article because I know a few women are planning to quit while on leave or right after. I thought it was a good thing for all of us to keep on our radars. Everyone should be having a conversation with their HR person (or doing their own research) so they know all of the costs and benefits of leave.
We have this weird room I can only describe as a square hallway (it's a room with either a door or archway on every wall) and I was thinking of putting like a portable closet in there that zips up or closes somehow so it's not ugly but I keep reading reviews on them that say they can't hold much and DH has much clothes lol.
What should I do??? Anyone DIY/crafty/small house around here? 😅
DS born 1.25.18 (my rainbow) | Baby Girl Due 7.25.19
So yeah, need that income driven repayment to go way down! And I need to find some revenue streams because I will not get paid while we are striking in the fall.
We have an Ikea wardrobe in the master + an Ikea "dresser" with 8 felt storage cubes, a small Ikea dresser for DS in his room, and an Ikea wardrobe in our weird alcove hallway spot.
The hallway wardrobe has the most hanging space, so I've given it to DH for all of his button-up shirts.
The wardrobe in our bedroom has two sides, one has my hanging stuff, shoes, accessories, the other half we use for bed linens.
In the third bedroom, which is a flex space, we have a small Ikea Kallax "dresser" with 4 felt cubes, that will be where all of LO's clothes, cloth diapers, supplies will go.
My DH also has way more clothes than I do.... He's been using what will now be the baby's closet as his second closet for years, but he has started trying to pare it down. I may have started moving the baby's things in there already though. It's kind of amusing to see the the tiny pink onsies next to his suits.
I will say that the 30-day return only applies to what they are required to continue to offer you under FMLA. Which is that they must continue to pay your premiums on your group insurance, so they could require that you repay the insurance premiums under the right to reimbursement under FMLA.
Anything else would be answered by your employer, for example, the situation for @blackhottamales where her employer offered an additional benefit, the right to that benefit was agreed upon as part of her employment and the rules were also agreed upon.
On a side note, I actually went to this place yesterday. My mil watched my girls and it was about a 25 min drive to the chiropractor. They're a bit off the beaten path, so I had to turn around a few times until I found it! Walk up to the door, and a woman walks towards me and asks if I'm there to see the chiropractor (her husband). I said yes, and she goes "Oh no! We're closed on Wednesdays, your appointment is for tomorrow!" 🤦🏼♀️ I could have sworn she told me on the phone on Tuesday that it was for tomorrow (Wed). So to make my trip worth it I stopped at my favorite consignment store on the way home and found some cute shirts for 15% off. Thankfully my mil was more than happy to watch my girls again today, but what a waste of time!! I'm sticking to that she told me wrong instead of my brain betraying me🤣🤣
@indulgentgypsy DH had a huge jump in his IBR payment too. We chalked it up to the raise he got, but now thinking otherwise. He's taken a public service position now in large part for the public service forgiveness. Have you looked into teacher loan forgiveness? I got my undergrad loans forgiven because I taught in a public school in a high need area (math) for 5 years. That was 7 years ago, though, so it might not be a thing anymore.
@kingdommom I hope the chiropractor changes your life! I love getting adjusted!!!
@keebler6elf yeah I think it was built in the sixties and also it is technically a "2br" because the one room has literally no closet, our room has a closet full of the air handler, and only DS has a closet 😂 we have a tiny linen closet but whoever lived here first practically killed it. No ceiling in there and one wall inside has been ripped out 🤷 so we have to fix it up first before use. For now I have a dresser in the square hall for blankets and towels but it's not big enough.
@fromcatstokids that's what we ended up doing for his shirts! I got him to do it and it looks ok. I'm not that pressed that it's not covered up since it's in our room. I think I'm gonna get an Ikea thingy for the hall and throw his giant winter coat collection in there.
@cindler haha yeah well if we divied up our house based on who's stuff was who's I'd be able to pack up like 5 boxes, maybe less, but he would have a whole bedroom stacked tall of junk 😂😂😂
He's better than his dad though so I can't complain too much 😬
DS born 1.25.18 (my rainbow) | Baby Girl Due 7.25.19
Hoping that it’s not pre-E yet and if it is that they can manage it with magnesium and keep baby in for a bit longer!
I think starting next appointment (June 5th) they will make me have my BP taken at the office so I know I’ll be back to this stress for the last 2 months of pregnancy...
At this point just seeing a BP machine in a doctor’s office makes mine shoot through the roof...
Plus, my OB isn't making me do it until I get back from NYC, AND she told me to have fun and enjoy my trip, so she can't be THAT worried, which is encouraging. I was careful to get up and walk around on my flights this morning though...