Sibling anxiety — The Bump
3rd Trimester

Sibling anxiety

I am due any day. We have been discussing with our daughter (who will be 4 next week) that the baby will be here soon and Mommy has to go to the hospital and she can come meet the baby etc. Well, this past week she has come down with random stomachaches, saying she needs to puke, not wanting to go to preschool.  Shes not sick and she loves preschool.  It seems she may be nervous or having anxiety about the arrival of her sister.  Any suggestions to ease the anxiety? 

Re: Sibling anxiety

  • meggymemeggyme
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    Have you talked to her specifically about her anxieties? Maybe ask her if she is scared to be a big sister or talk about what she can expect, like mommy being busy and her having to be patient, the baby crying and being noisy, and reassuring her that you and her dad will both still love her very much.
    ME: 32  DH: 32 DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
    harpseal135BusinessWife
  • kingdommomkingdommom
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    member
    Aw😢 I agree about discussing with her what her fears may be. Also making sure to assure her a lot that she will still be very loved. Or let her know how she can help with the baby (getting diapers for you, singing to the baby, etc) and that she'll ve a good big sister. It IS a big adjustment for siblings! Make sure to reassure her a lot, and have some special things just for her after the baby comes. Activities she can do while you're busy with the baby can give her something to look forward to!
    BusinessWife
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  • delujm0delujm0
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member

    it's possible that she's nervous about you having to go to the hospital and be away, so she's making excuses to stay home with you to make sure you don't leave her.  have you discussed with her what she will be doing while you're at the hospital?  When i had my most recent baby, my oldest was 3 and had a lot of questions.  We told her that when the baby needs to come out, mommy and daddy would go to the hospital, but her grandmother would be coming to stay with her and her sister for a few days.  She went to school ok during the week, but on weekends she wouldn't leave my side, even to just go for a walk around the neighborhood with DH.  I went into labor after she went to bed one night, so she woke up in the morning and we were gone.  My mom said she was fine.  Happy to be home with grandma, and by then we had a picture of the baby we had texted to my mom to show her, so she was excited about that too.

     

    She might not be as upset about having the baby around as she is about the more immediate idea that she'll go to school one day and you won't be there when she gets home because you're at the hospital.  You should spend some time preparing her for what that will be like.

    Me: 36 DH: 36
    Married 5-31-14
    DD1 born 6-21-15
    DD2 born 6-11-17
    DS born 9-5-18

    BusinessWife
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