Homebirth / Unmedicated Birth / Birth Center - April-June

wanderlustsoul

This is a thread to connect Moms who have already chosen to plan a homebirth/birth center birth. (Feel free to jump in if you're doing an unmedicated hospital birth as well.) We'll need some good support when it comes time!

Note: Please don't come in this thread and bash people who are choosing out of hospital/unmedicated births to judge us or scare us with your horror story. To the ladies in here, this is also not the place to judge those Mamas who don't choose the route we are choosing. 

How far along are you?

What type of birth are you planning (home, birth center, unmedicated at hospital)?

FTM? STM?/ Have you had an unmedicated birth before?

GTKY: Have you signed up for any prenatal birth classes to prepare for unmedicated birth? Do you know anyone who has had an unmedicated birth / homebirth / birth in a center to use as support? 

**Note: I have put April to June since we haven't had much posting in these threads. We can switch to monthly (or more frequently) as of June.**

wanderlustsoul

How far along are you? 21 weeks 2 days

What type of birth are you planning (home, birth center, unmedicated at hospital)? Unmedicated at a birth center

FTM? STM?/ Have you had an unmedicated birth before? FTM.

GTKY: Have you signed up for any prenatal birth classes to prepare for unmedicated birth? Do you know anyone who has had an unmedicated birth / homebirth / birth in a center to use as support? 

We have a prenatal class scheduled for June. I'm also contemplating a hypnobirthing class if I can find the time. I actually have a few friends and a cousin who have done unmedicated (but in a hospital since they're in North America). One of my friends did unmedicated but induced, which is amazing to me! I've heard incredible things from them about the recovery time with unmedicated birth. 

mrosek91

How far along are you?
21+4

What type of birth are you planning (home, birth center, unmedicated at hospital)?
Unmedicated in hospital

FTM? STM?/ Have you had an unmedicated birth before?
TTM, both my previous births were unmedicated

GTKY: Have you signed up for any prenatal birth classes to prepare for unmedicated birth? Do you know anyone who has had an unmedicated birth / homebirth / birth in a center to use as support?
We are taking the one hour refresher session offered by my doula, hasn't been scheduled yet, but will probably be in July. I have several friends, and my SIL who did unmedicated, I spoke to them when I was pregnant with my first to help make the decision to go that route.

I have also started rereading my natural childbirth book, and it had this great paragraph. I'm going to leave it here for anyone who needs it.
 

wanderlustsoul

@mrosek91, I love that. Thank you for posting it! 

bluebonnet15

@mrosek91 Thank you for posting that!

If you had asked me before I got pregnant if I would have an unmedicated birth, I probably would've told you "hell no." But, as my pregnancy has progressed, I've thought about it more and more and have had the overwhelming desire to feel fully in control and present the entire birth. I officially documented in my birth plan draft that I began working on last week that I intend to have an unmedicated birth, so here I am. 

How far along are you?
24w5d

What type of birth are you planning (home, birth center, unmedicated at hospital)?
Unmedicated at hospital

FTM? STM?/ Have you had an unmedicated birth before?
FTM

GTKY: Have you signed up for any prenatal birth classes to prepare for unmedicated birth? Do you know anyone who has had an unmedicated birth / homebirth / birth in a center to use as support? 
A good friend of mine planned an unmedicated birth and labored unmedicated until a C-section was required, so she's been a person that I've leaned on. We will be attending a birthing class in June. I'm a researcher, so I plan to do lots of reading and researching between now and then. 

mrosek91

@heml welcome and good luck!! Having gone through it twice I can say it really is a surreal, amazing experience.
Please feel free to ask any questions.

emqbee

@mrosek91 what’s your biggest suggestion for husbands and partners to get prepared? I know I’m reading and researching like a crazy person to prepare myself but I want my husband to feel prepared when we walk into the birth center too. He’ll be attending a small group class at the birth center with me that’s all about labor and deliver and whichever birth classes we do for sure. But any other suggestions or resources?

emqbee

I’m a FTM and delivering in a birth center with midwives. I’m not yet signed up for classes but intend to-even if it has to be Online or video classes so husband and I can do it together. My mom had me in a birth center with a midwife and had my sister unmedicated in a hospital. She swears by the experience with a midwife and says that was by far the better experience. I have absolutely loved the setting at the BC. It’s so different than the feel of a hospital or doc office-but I tend to really dislike being in medical settings so the coziness of it really helps ease my nerves. 

What natural childbirth book are you reading @mrosek91? Might have to add it to the amazon cart!

mrosek91

@emqbee I'm a little unusual in that I didn't want DH to be super involved in my labor. I had a doula, and I relied on her for the emotional support and advise. DH is the strong silent type, so all I wanted from him was to stand there and look supportive. That said, I did make him come with me to the birthing class I went to at the hospital we used, and he was present for the prep sessions with the Doula.
I think how much he needs to know depends on how involved you want him, and what other support people you have in the room. But really the only thing they need to know is that you are in charge, and they should not say anything stupid.
The book I'm reading is Labor of Love, it's specifically geared towards Orthodox Jewish Woman so there is a lot about G-d and Faith in there.

law_and_little1

New to this thread and considering a birth center attached to a hospital that still offers the option of an epidural. Sadly I'd have to switch doctors though because my doctor only delivers at one particular hospital. Curious if others have switched docs midway / more than midway through. 

jmesue1030

@emqbee with my first, my H and I did the Bradley method. It is very focused on the partner’s role as a coach. My H was super happy that we did the classes and read the book because he felt so prepared with what to expect and how to support me throughout labor. 

aukeev

Hope it's ok to revive this thread. 

We've been planning on an unmedicated hospital birth, but the closer we get, the more anxious I am about what that process will look like. Those of you planning this, have you discussed birthing positions your OB is comfortable with? Of course I'm going to ask at my next appointment, but I'm curious about what the standard is for unmedicated births. 

We're reading through all my parents' Bradley Method materials (they were Bradley coaches for 15 ish years and followed Bradley with four of their five births) and the birthing positions he recommends seem to make so much more sense than being stuck on your back.

mrosek91

@oklahomak it's totally normal to be anxious. Being in pain is not something our body handles well, so the thought that we are going to do it intentionally can be hard to process. Just remember that your body was made to do this, and you will have people to support you through the whole thing.

As far as birthing positions, what they are comfortable with/allow can vary widely by doctor and hospital, so it definitely a good idea to talk to them. With my first I tried pushing while on my knees, because I felt that my body wanted to be in that position. The doctor did let me try it, but after a few pushes where I was making no progress she asked me to switch to the more traditional in the stir-ups pose so that she could see what was happening, and maybe help. I know I lot of natural birthing books talk about how that position was developed for the ease of the doctor, and doesn't make sense, but I used it for both my boys, and it really felt fine. I wasn't flat on my back. The bed was in a sitting position, and so I was basically sitting with my legs up and out. (If you can visualize that.)

All that said I will 100% say what works for one person, does not work for another, so talk to your doctor, and make sure you are both comfortable with your options going in. And remember labor is unpredictable, so definitely go in with a plan, and what you hope, but be prepared for that to change.

aukeev

@mrosek91 Thank you The pain isn't my biggest concern, it's more my anxiety level. I have such a hard time changing plans and I'm starting to realize that it is more likely than not that my birth will not be exactly what I am envisioning. 

That does make more sense that the bed would be in more of a sitting position while your feet are in the stirrups. When you're in the hospital, when is the doctor actually there with you vs. when are you allowed to labor however you like? Do you just move into the pushing position when they think you're ready to push, or do you stay there for a while through contractions? 

All things I'm sure will (hopefully) be covered in our childbirth class, we just haven't gotten there yet.

mrosek91

@oklahomak Good luck handling the anxiety. I don't remember are you planning on using a doula? and/or is your husband a more laid back person? I love to plan, and DH is very much a take things as they come person. Sometimes (often) it drives me crazy, but with labor and parenting, it's very helpful to have him there to talk me down, remind me it's all going to work out. Also, having a doula who I knew had done this countless times before helped me feel like I would have the resources to handle whatever came.

My experience was that the doctor checked in occasionally to see how dilated I was, and how I was feeling, but otherwise let me labor however I liked with my doula and a nurse. Once I was fully dilated and felt the urge to push the doctor stayed in the room, and I assumed the pushing position.

aukeev

@mrosek91 I didn't hire a doula, but my parents have offered to be my birth coaches since they have so much experience. I'm planning on at least taking my mom up on it. Bradley coaching experience aside, I don't think I'm that comfortable with my dad. I'm definitely the planner in our marriage, as well. DH also is fine to take things as they come. I think his calmness and willingness to "wait and see how it goes" is probably part of my stress. He's more of the "well, the doctor has been delivering babies for 40 years, so he knows what to do," mindset.

Your experience sounds ideal (to me, anyway)!

wabash15

@oklahomak unless there is an issue most doctors will let you labor and push in what ever position you are most comfortable with. 

suzycupcake

Welcome back @oklahomak! My hospital told me the only position I couldn’t do is that nobody will be catching any babies in the squatting position. My Doula says if it ends up being what works for me, then she will help keep it that way since she knows policy and says I’m allowed to catch my own baby. My childbirth courses mentioned a side lying position that seemed really appealing. 

That’s so awesome your parents are childbirth educators and can be there to assist you. So awesome! 

aukeev

Thank you, @suzycupcake! That's good to hear. I don't know why I hadn't thought to ask my OB about this before now. Which childbirth course(s) are you taking? The Bradley books refer to a side lying position as well, particularly in the earlier labor stages and I agree, it definitely sounded appealing. 

jmesue1030

Resurrecting this thread because I’m curious if anyone has any hypnobirthing suggestions. I’ve been practicing some pregnancy meditations using YouTube and the hypnobirthing ones make me sooo relaxed. I won’t have time to take a full 5-week class prior to August but am interested in learning on my own if there are books/online resources that anyone is familiar with 

suzycupcake

@jmesue1030 I do Hypnobabies and they have an at home study course if you're interested. The only real time commitment is reading the material, but you have an entire week to do each class in for a total of six. That means looking at slides in their online thing and reading some pdf handouts. Otherwise, there are three daily tracks--one for 15 minutes, one for 40 minutes, and one for 40 minutes. The one for 40 minutes can be listened to while driving to and from work, while washing the dishes, showering, or whatever else. The other two can be turned on while you are going to bed at night. You don't have to stay awake. It will still work come birthing time. The thing I like about it the most is it teaches medical grade hypnoanesthesia. If that's not something that would suit you, I've heard that the Hypnobirthing program is really relaxing and does have some childbirth education. 

Sorry @oklahomak, missed your last message to me. 

agpandme

The more I think about it, the more I think I want an un medicated birth.  I honestly can't voice exactly why, it just feels like a choice that I would like to make.  Which is really odd considering giving birth has always been my greatest fear. 

bluebonnet15

@agpandme Before I got pregnant, I always assumed that I’d be in the “give me the epidural ASAP” camp. But, now I’m firmly in the unmedicated hospital birth camp. I think mine stems from being a control freak and an epidural and other interventions making me feel like I wouldn’t be in control of my own body 

wabash15

@jmesue1030 I did a condensed hypnobirthing (one day class) with the twins. It came with a book and audio CD. For last time and this one I have just been re-reading/practicing the techniques and listening to the recordings (especially as I fall asleep.) I wonder if you could find a copy online...

suzycupcake

@agpandme Same experience as @heml. There was once a time where I said give me all the drugs and put me out. No judgment for the Mamas who do that because it’s completely understandable. However for me, after a very long journey with Infertility and loss, a cascade of interventions will make me feel powerless again. I can not afford to feel that way personally. There are other reasons of course but I won’t go into them. 

It’s my personal belief that every Mother should get the birthing experience that she wants and that every one else around her should support that because she knows what’s best for her and her baby. 

Giving birth has been the greatest fear of a lot of women over the years, including me. I was absolutely terrified by it. Of course, that makes sense when the most that we’ve heard is that it’s a terrifying experience in the messages we receive from our Mothers and other women in our lives, from complete strangers, in movies and TV shows, etc. We’ve been taught that childbirth looks like a woman lying on her back screaming bloody murder for hours and hours when that isn’t the truth at all. Then we have a healthcare system fraught with Nurses and Doctors who have no idea what normal birth looks like because OBGYNs are trained surgeons.

I’d like to encourage you to watch natural birthing videos and read some of the awesome literature out there on this subject to reframe what you’ve been taught and replace it with evidence based information, if you really do want to consider an unmedicated birth. This is a good docu https://www.thebusinessofbeingborn.com/  These things aren’t a requirement to have the birth experience that you want but it does help. 

wanderlustsoul

@agpandme, I was also the same. At first, I was a bit alarmed at being here (due to the preconceived notions as @suzycupcake mentioned) in the Netherlands to give birth but now I’m glad. I just had birthing class and the system here is really great and supportive to going natural or basically getting the birth you want. It’s really helped me be super chill about the experience because I know my midwife and the system will help support what I want. 

agpandme

Thank you all for your thoughts and resources!   I was glad that my doctor seemed relieved when I made the suggestion that I might want an unmedicated birth.  She was instantly supportive. I spoke to my husband and while he is absolutely clueless, he is also supportive.  I will definitely dive into more research and videos.   

bluebonnet15

I’m reading Ina May’s book and saw this passage

YES, with you, Ina May. Will gladly pour myself a glass of wine and take a bath! 

wanderlustsoul

@heml, I just ordered that book! I told my H a few weeks ago that once in labour, i am definitely drinking a glass of wine. 

agpandme

I talked to my mom about an unmedicated birth and not surpisingly she was not supportive.  She said she tried it with her first child and that is why she ended up having a cesarean. She was too exhausted after 3 days of labor to push the baby out.  She had 5 cesareans in total (5 girls).  

mrosek91

@agpandme I'm not sure why woman love scaring pregnant woman with their birth stories. It makes me ragey.
Giving birth is a scary thing, but it's also a beautiful thing. This is my third time, both my previous births were really straightforward unmedicated births, and I'm still scared to do it again.
For me the thing that made it possible was telling myself repeatedly that nothing was set in stone, I just needed to take it a moment at a time, and make the best decision for that moment, and there may be the possibility that at one moment I would decide I needed an epidural, and if that was the case I would give myself permission to change the birth plan. It didn't happen but I think having the possibility is what gave me the strength to keep going.
I know I have mentioned them before (I may be obsessed) but I highly recommend the birth hour podcast. They are pretty prolific (several episodes a week) and have moms with all types of births come to tell their stories. It's a very birth positive place, and gives you a lot of different stories, perspectives, and resources.

bluebonnet15

@mrosek91 I’m now obsessed with the Birth Hour too thanks to you! I’m behind on all of my other podcasts. 

I’ve decided to hire a doula and MH was like I knew you would (he asked me about it several weeks ago). My plan is to have my mom with me along with MH but (1) she’s 8 hours away and (2) though she’s given birth, she’s not exactly trained/experienced, so seems like a doula won’t be overkill but will be a good thing. Plus we can pay with our HSA. 

mrosek91

@heml Yay! I approve of both your podcasting choices and your doula (because you totally care about the opinion of an internet stranger)
I'm behind on all my podcasts, I think my unlistened to episode count is up to ~150... But they are so good!!
I'm also planned on having my mom with me, but she lives ~4 hours away, and has only ever had c-sections. I really wanted the voice of experience in the room. (My mom made it just as I started pushing with DS#1, and missed DS#2) I'm going to try and have her there again, but I will definitely be having my doula again.

agpandme

@mrosek91 Knowing my mom and her tendency to be in the negative I should have known better but I wanted to ask anyway.  Fortunately I am very head strong and I still feel this is the right decision. Like you said, nothing is set in stone. I will keep my options open when the times comes.  I will definitely check out that podcast. I listen to a ton of podcasts. I'll have to tear myself away from true crime to listen to birth stories

emqbee

I hope I don’t regret not hiring a doula. I had hoped for it just to be me and MH along with the midwife/nurse but I’m getting concerned that maybe MH doesn’t fully grasp what I’ll need him to do. I also have the option of having my mom with me as much or as little as I want. She plans to be present as soon as I tell her I’m in labor and just wait in the wings until I need/want her. Which I SO APPRECIATE. 
Has anyone here tried spinning babies? Which techniques were the easiest for you to do solo? Do you feel like it helped?

wabash15

@emqbee it might not be too late to look into a doula if you think you might want one. Sometimes you won't know what you'll need him or anyone else to do until your going through it. 

emqbee

@wabash15 I'm still considering it. I feel bad that I said he "doesn't grasp" because quite frankly, you pegged it, I probably wont even really know what I need from him until it's happening. We shall see. We have some birth class videos to watch together over the next couple of days and I think that'll help me decide. 

wabash15

@emqbee honestly the doula is as much for DH as it is for me.... doulas don't replace your partner... a good doula helps guide your partner in different ways to support you and so that you two are the most effective team you can be. They can also be the one to get stuff (food, drinks etc) so your partner can stay by your side. another nice benefit is many doulas keep a timeline of events during your birth which is sweet to have to look back on because things even with an uncomplicated delivery can be a bit of a blur.

foodlovehappiness

We're planning a natural birth! I originally wanted to have the baby at my midwife's birth center, but now I'm leaning toward a home birth. I've read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, been listening to the Birth Hour, and also watching birth videos on birth tube. I see no one on here has mentioned it and I would highly recommend!

I asked my midwife what I could do to prepare, and she said the biggest "problem" is most women have never attended a birth until they give birth themselves. Birth Tube is a private Facebook group where women post their birth videos. As a FTM who's never attended a birth before it's VERY educational. I've learned so much and it's done a lot in terms of making birth seem so natural and much less scary. 

All of this combined has me thinking I'll feel much more comfortable and happy giving birth at home. I'll have two midwives, my doula and my husband. My house is a five minute drive from the hospital, so if we need to go, we're very close. Still on the fence but leaning towards home birth! 

suzycupcake

+1 for BirthTUBE https://www.facebook.com/groups/livehomebirth/ 

Knottiea63560c15ba1dd6b

How far along are you?
32 weeks

What type of birth are you planning (home, birth center, unmedicated at hospital)?
Unmedicated at hospital

FTM? STM?/ Have you had an unmedicated birth before?
FTM

GTKY: Have you signed up for any prenatal birth classes to prepare for unmedicated birth? Do you know anyone who has had an unmedicated birth / homebirth / birth in a center to use as support? 
I started reading the Marie Mongan Hypnobirthing book at 20 weeks and listening/practicing Kathryn Clark’s recordings I downloaded from iTunes at the same time every night. I knew this was the perfect birthing method for me because I was very anxious at the beginning of my pregnancy as I’ve had issues staying pregnant before. I’m also a yoga teacher so the meditations and the rainbow relaxations aligns really well to what I’ve been practicing pre-pregnancy. My SO and I completed a private lesson (5 classes total) and it was totally worth it on top of reading the book. I believe in this method as it’s helped me become more confident and completely fearless of birthing my baby. I actually cannot wait for the day! My best friend did Hypnobirthing and I’ve connected with
other Moms through my massage therapist that have done it. The affirmations, understanding how your body works, building a relationship with the strength of your mind and body and integrating your SO in the process makes so much sense. The best benefit I got out of doing the classes on top of just reading the books is confirming my understanding of the breathing techniques and visualizations. The practitioner also “downloaded” some relaxation deepening cues in my mind that my partner and I practice at least once a week. I feel extremely prepared and calm knowing that I have my ideal vision of how I wish our birth experience will go but know that anything can happen and remaining calm is at the benefit of myself and the baby no matter what.