I'd be delighted with a FB private group. My O16 BMB from another site eventually migrated there and we have about 15 moms who are still pretty active on a weekly basis, and I love care for them all deeply. No drama, I'm an admin for that group.
HOWEVER, I also don't want to leave people behind. I'd prefer if we stay here to move to a private group for birth photos, stories, etc. as those get a bit personal.
Thanks for all the feedback mamas! From what I’m reading, a private group close to our due dates would probably be the best bet ... and maybe a move to FB once activity has died down here. I’d really hate to lose the input of others who are not comfortable using FB. I think I can speak for all when I say that a private group would be more suitable for more detailed birth announcements and new baby photos....?
I'd be happy to move to a private FB group! I love this group but am often hesitant to post personal information due to the public nature of it. I'd also be completely happy staying here after the little ones arrive too!
My old BMB from the bump moved to FB right around the time babies were born. It's still a super active and supportive group that I love. There is activity daily years later.
I think having a private space is much nicer. I'm not one to post private info and keep things pretty generic in a public space. I also hate the bump app and FB is more convenient.
Just catching up on here... I'm on fb with my other two groups (Aug 16 and Mar18) and it's been a truly wonderful experience to have the support and friendship of the ladies. My first we waited until after the babes were born and my second was around the start of third trimester. Both had a vetting process and like @nopegoat we had to post a pic of ourselves with the date, bump name, and regular name. I'm down with a TB private group or FB, but like some others I don't like to post too much on here like pics because of it being public.
I am all in for a fb group. I joined with my 2 other kids- my younger child’s group is very active to the day and we have become “friends” on Facebook. Some people have even met up to have play dates. My first group you had to post a certain amount and be active on the Facebook group in order to stay. I’ve experienced cat fishing on a group and lurkers. Hard to prevent it but you catch on after a while... just gotta make specific rules. One big topic that ends up breaking a group is politics- presidential election time is painful. It literally broke apart my sons group. That’s not a topic that I participate. Rules of the group would have to stay within the limits of posting something that has to do with your child(ren).
I would potentially like us to make a decision RE: the private group by June if that's possible? I really don't feel comfortable posting a birth story and bebe/family pics out in the open.
@foodislove I feel the same way, hence starting the FB discussion this early. I wanted to get the ball rolling so I’m not putting my new babe and personal birth story out there for the whole world. I think by early June that’s definitely possible!
I definitely limit what I share because this is public. I would lean towards a private bump group so we don’t lose all the moms that aren’t on Facebook.
I’m down with whatever. My June16 bmb moved to FB about 1-2 months before Facebook and still had about 50 active members. I know I’m not on here a lot but I hate TB on my phone.
I'd be open to Facebook, the app is pain for me. I can usually only log on to the Community portion on a computer or laptop. I would be able to be more active on FB probably, but whatever works!
+1 move to Facebook. I mainly feel that way because this is a very conflict/drama free BMB so far. Anyone not on FB, I've had members in past BMB's that create a FB under a different name to only participate in the group. Is that an option?
@Bear14+ Some others have mentioned that, but it's not an option for me. I really despise FB and how much private information that you post is divulged to their ad network. I understand if everyone moves over there, but it would be preferable that we at least try a private BMB before you all take the plunge.
I'm not super active on FB these days. Honestly it all got too political for me during the last few years. BUT I just read the other day on another BMB that any photos posted on here are permanent and forever and owned by the Bump and well, I don't want my baby's picture on here if that's the case. Which bums me out because I love seeing others' babies. Idk. Is this just me?? I am a private person and don't like that everything posted on TB is just publicly out there forever and you can't delete anything.
ETA: It was from the April Moms Birth Announcements post (see below):
***Keep in mind there is a 30-day limit on editing anything you post,
and pictures cannot be deleted at this time. Any photos and/or
information posted becomes proprietary to The Bump, granting the XO
Corporation rights to use this in any way they choose (see https://www.thebump.com/terms.html).***
I get that posting stuff on social media means it's out there, but this particular forum is publicly available and I hate that you can't delete stuff later if you decide to.
FB also "owns" every photo and every message you post or send via their messenger app. They are also selling all of your information to 3rd party advertisers and have been in legal trouble recently for failing to disclose how they share your information.
I realize that FB may "feel" more private than TB because it seems like you can limit the people you know from seeing your data. But in reality all of your data is being sold regardless of your "privacy" settings.
ETA: If you all decide to move over to FB because it's easier or more convenient, I will understand. But just don't be fooled into believing it's any more private than a public forum. Facebook is anything but private.
@cbeanz my feelings exactly. It's also really bizarre to me that we exist in a world where every thought and movement needs to be validated on social media. It seems to really depress people.
@mamanbebe Completely agree. The need for validation is so bizarre. And folks can become so preoccupied with documenting every event that they're not allowing themselves to be mentally present in the real world. Years ago when I did have an account it depressed me and put a strain on my friendships. I had to step away from all social media so I quit and I've actually never missed it.
I realize TB is social media too, but it doesn't have the effect on me that FB/IG did. It feels more conversational and less showboaty which I personally like.
@cbeanz I agree about TB vs FB/IG -- it really bums me out that people are not doing things in life for the actual experience vs capturing the perfect photo to share. And seeing families out in public where the parents completely ignore their kids because they are too busy checking social media. But also, it creates an environment where people who do not actively participate in your life can keep tabs on you. It makes me feel bothered that someone should deserve access to what is happening in my life when they can't pick up the phone and call or even visit me. I should probably step off my soapbox now before I offend anyone here, but I feel pretty passionately about it all.
@mamanbebe I agree that FB shouldn't be an alternative to actual interaction with your friends and family, and I rarely post on my own FB page, just comment and love tit here and there. I do like it for being able to see what friends and fam are up to far far away (think different continent, not just US) or in different time zones where phone calls and such aren't really an option. Where I'm active is my O16 group, and my working moms group, and those really help me with my mom struggles, especially having had PPD for a year after I had M.
Which is also why I don't want to deprive anyone here of the group by switching to FB if there is a disinclination against it.
I don't use Facebook currently but wouldn't be opposed to joining for a group! It would be a great way to stay connected and I'm sure there will be a lot of helpful hints and products that even as a STM I would benefit from!
I guess I just like how FB is set up VS TB. I feel it is much more user friendly. It’s easier to tag people, you don’t just have to “love” a post, you can react to it with different emotions... I dunno, I just feel FB is easier to use than TB most of the time.
@Panaceia, you were O14, right? You stayed that long? And so did we?! I don’t remember that! Lololol. Did you have the same sn?
I find FB easier to get to know people. Seeing real faces and such. But I also had a lot of drama in FB so it didn’t weed that out. That said, I insist on being admin because I like to ban people. (I kid, I kid!)
There’s a lot about me I won’t share here. Yes, FB feeds it all into an algorithm. But I’m more comfortable being part of a data set... than individuals knowing specifics and being able to use that/talk about it. I once found out that someone in my BMB would tweet stuff I shared in the group. Which also can’t be avoided in FB... but it was WEIRD.
I would be open for a fb group. I haven’t posted here much lately because it’s private and the bump keeps logging me off which is annoying. I miss the community though and I’m trying to make an effort to be more active here.
I love this group too and would follow it to a private Facebook page as well. @wineandcoffee the bump keeps kicking me off too and it’s driving me nuts!!! Plus one less app the better lol
Being due at the end of July, that would make me kinda sad to see everyone go before my lo is born. I almost always end up leaving Facebook groups because of the arguing drama that ensues. There’s always a debate about who’s a bad parent or an attack on someone’s opinion. You can start a post with ‘no negative comments’ but people are gonna comment, other people are gonna get mad and then someone’s feelings are hurt. I just wanna ride out our time on here as long as possible before it gets personal where we can actually see each others’ lives and stuff.
I feel like this group so is divided, half really want to move to FB, the other half would get left behind pretty early if we moved before birth announcements. Anyone else care to weigh in?
As much as I'd love to go ahead and ditch this stupid site because 95% of the time I can't even freaking post, I say we start a private group on here, get a bit more comfortable posting a bit more freely in a more private setting, then move to FB in a month or so afterwards.
ETA Membership to the private group should be done solely on whether you are recognized by members and you'll need to take a bump pic with face, a paper with your screen name, date, and then a random object to make sure you're real. This picture can be deleted after being seen and verified by all the admins if you aren't comfortable leaving it up. Maybe take a public vote on here first for a few admins. This is what has worked best for my previous groups.
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
If we still have a small core of people who don't move over then we can continue posting on here. I don't mind being one of only a few left if that's what ends up happening. I would personally like to see this group remain here (as a private group) at least until everyone delivers so that we all still have access to the support systems we have built over the past months.
@Cbeanz the voting is only to keep those that never participate out. It's not done to be mean, nor is it a popularity contest. If they have participated in the check-ins, Randoms, or whatever more than a handful of times they should be "allowed" in no problems.
If you accept every single person that asks to join the group it makes the group absolutely no different than posting on here. And it never fails, people who have never posted a single thing in this BMB will ask to join which is why the "voting" process is necessary.
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
@Cbeanz I second that motion. I have and use Facebook but I don’t want inclusion to diminish. We can’t stop anyone from creating a group and I don’t know how to create a private group on here but I’m semi-ok with it if it means we don’t lose most members on here.
@nopegoat I understand accepting everyone is just like staying public. But I personally value inclusion so I don't want to participate in a group that excludes people. I know that means things feel less private and people might choose otherwise. But a group that votes and chooses some people and not others is not for me.
Re: Facebook?
HOWEVER, I also don't want to leave people behind. I'd prefer if we stay here to move to a private group for birth photos, stories, etc. as those get a bit personal.
I think I can speak for all when I say that a private group would be more suitable for more detailed birth announcements and new baby photos....?
I think having a private space is much nicer. I'm not one to post private info and keep things pretty generic in a public space. I also hate the bump app and FB is more convenient.
I realize that FB may "feel" more private than TB because it seems like you can limit the people you know from seeing your data. But in reality all of your data is being sold regardless of your "privacy" settings.
ETA:
If you all decide to move over to FB because it's easier or more convenient, I will understand. But just don't be fooled into believing it's any more private than a public forum. Facebook is anything but private.
I realize TB is social media too, but it doesn't have the effect on me that FB/IG did. It feels more conversational and less showboaty which I personally like.
Which is also why I don't want to deprive anyone here of the group by switching to FB if there is a disinclination against it.
I find FB easier to get to know people. Seeing real faces and such. But I also had a lot of drama in FB so it didn’t weed that out. That said, I insist on being admin because I like to ban people. (I kid, I kid!)
There’s a lot about me I won’t share here. Yes, FB feeds it all into an algorithm. But I’m more comfortable being part of a data set... than individuals knowing specifics and being able to use that/talk about it. I once found out that someone in my BMB would tweet stuff I shared in the group. Which also can’t be avoided in FB... but it was WEIRD.
The app also causes lots of issues and errors for me so I get frustrated and give up with it.
ETA Membership to the private group should be done solely on whether you are recognized by members and you'll need to take a bump pic with face, a paper with your screen name, date, and then a random object to make sure you're real. This picture can be deleted after being seen and verified by all the admins if you aren't comfortable leaving it up. Maybe take a public vote on here first for a few admins. This is what has worked best for my previous groups.
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
If you accept every single person that asks to join the group it makes the group absolutely no different than posting on here. And it never fails, people who have never posted a single thing in this BMB will ask to join which is why the "voting" process is necessary.
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙