Ask a STM+ Discussion Thread - March

ternsetc

@RedBreast35 I wanted to be a SAHM and really appreciate that I have the opportunity, but the reason I am is definitely financial - I never brought in much income and daycare is so expensive. It's such a tough decision! I'm fairly sure if I'd had a career I liked - even if the money was a wash and even with wanting to stay home - I would have kept working, since we will eventually need me to bring in an income. DH and I have had long conversations about this many times, and decided it's better I use this time to take courses to pick up skills that will help when reentering the job market, but I worry about having a big gap in work history. I do love being home with DS, even though it can be exhausting, but I can also see the social benefits to daycare and often worry if I'm getting DS out enough. Good luck!

lillywonderland

@LJMoon6 NZ is on our “short list” of places to retire. Currently Switzerland is #1 and DH has mentioned more than once it’s his personal favorite (and therefore will be the place we will retire, lol...fine by me. I want a cow with a bell then!!🤣). Queenstown is legit awesome! Dang. I wish we lived closer because I have a sneaky feeling you and YH would be besties with me and MH IRL!! We have sooooo much in common!! 

janat1717

@LJMoon6 DS and I love to hangout at our local bike/coffee shop combo all the time. We have our usual and the guys in the shop are super nice to him. He likes watching the various races on too. If you can pull it off it seems like such a fun business. 

LJMoon6

@lillywonderland Totally! We could be travel buddies! FFWC my O day put my EDD on 9/30 but my LMP put it on 10/2 so I could have picked either month to join... but I saw you were in this group and knew we had the biking connection lol. So it was a no brainer. I had no idea you were in STEM too and had the same passion for traveling. 

lillywonderland

@LJMoon6 I love your FFWC! I feel so special! 🥰 Also, SCIENCE RULES!!

sahm89

@septoctkids I’ve been a SAHM for 5 years & I love it. I know it’s not for everyone, but I absolutely love being the one to see my littles reach all their milestones and be there to play with & protect them. I actually run a community moms group (not MOPS, but that’s a good one to look into) where we meet for a couple hours every week at a church gym in the winter & at parks & nature centers in the summer. There are also a lot of sahm groups that get together to walk in the park weekly & our local recreation center had a lot of gymnastics/toddler & baby activities. If you’re worried about social interaction, there are a lot of options in most communities (I live in a small town) not to mention play dates with friends and family.
Also, I think there’s a fear that a sham never gets a “break”...but I’ve structured our days where I get 1.5 hours mid day to myself because they have nap/quiet time(which they like) and my kids(5 & 3yo) know how to play independently and together, so they’re not always asking me for things. My life really isn’t that stressful, I get to decide how our weeks/seasons are structured, & I’m so blessed that hubs has a job that allows me to do this.

septoctkids

@sahm89 thanks so much! I’m not worried about social interaction. I’ve been home for 2 years already. My sister in law who is also my best friend is a stay at home mom too with 2 boys. One is around my sons age so we do a lot together. I take my son to the library and a music class each week so we are busy and get out. I did really enjoy my job, and some days are so long being a stay at home mom but then the mom guilt sets in about going back to work and having someone else watch my kids. I feel like I should be the one with them. I don’t know. It’s such a hard decision! Lol  

sahm89

@septoctkids oh good, that makes such a big difference when you have play date friends. And yes, I’m a Massage Therapist and LOVED my clients and my job before having kids too..I actually went back 1-2 days/week a couple years ago because I love it so much and had my MIL watch the two for me. Now I just massage f&f at my house when they get injured or are dealing with something. I actually took up a new hobby/job from home as a YouTuber & IG influencer because I have to have a non-mom outlet haha. I know it’s hard, and there can be so many opinions attached with guilt, but all we can do is try & do what’s right for our personal family & give ourselves a lot of grace along the way.