TTCAL w/o 3/11

shamrocandroll

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage/spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.** 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: When you go out to breakfast/brunch, do you usually order something sweet or savory?

_khaleesi

Status: WTO, and impatiently tapping fingers 

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Things are generally good to very good. Rave: Had an exhausting but awesome weekend spent with family and friends. It included an escape room for my sister’s bday and we won! And the out of town college softball game with my dad and girlfriend which we also won. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? 

It is officially O week if things are going to be back to normal! Could be happening right now for all I know. The anxiety is thick over here. I don’t do OPKs so it’s all about the temp! And here’s where I rant. Trying to HIO every day and that means 4am on days H works, since his schedule means we otherwise don’t see each other until the next evening. And I hate mornings. His schedule and the need to HIO is also why I temp at 4am. Did I mention I hate mornings?

GTKY: sweeeeet! The joke is there’s my syrup and the syrup for the rest of the table. We’re gonna need two bottles of syrup no matter how you slice it. And my theory is that waffles are just little syrup shooters and pancakes are simply a syrup transportation reservoir. Give me all the syrup. 

shamrocandroll

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.  MMC in Nov @ 10w, CP in Feb @ 5ish w

Status: benched/WFAF

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I'm having a rough time right now.  I'm on CD 37 after my CP and still no AF.  It took 6 weeks for it to come after my MMC in November and I was just really hoping this one wouldn't be as bad, but we're at over 5 weeks now.  Also, I accidentally got a little bit drunk last night and then ended up crying when MH tried to initiate intimacy.  Super attractive, I know.  I also have a tendency to eat my feelings, so I think I've gained a lot of weight and I feel fat and disgusting.  Can I please just get a reset button over here?  

Any testing coming up/any recent results?  I POAS this morning even though we haven't had any unprotected sex, just to be 100% sure.  BFN, obviously.

GTKY: When you go out to breakfast/brunch, do you usually order something sweet or savory?  Almost always savory.  I love eggs benedict and corned beef hash.  If I can get eggs benedict *with* corned beef hash, I'm in heaven.  Every once in a blue moon, I'll go for French Toast or something.  I love breakfast/brunch!

Spartanrd4

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. MMC 3/2016, CP 2/2019 

Status: WTO 

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Trying to be optimistic this cycle- DH is going to be out of town 3 days this week which for me is actually nice because I can relax and do my thing- I really enjoy my alone time...except when its the FW! haha 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? No 

GTKY: When you go out to breakfast/brunch, do you usually order something sweet or savory? DH and I usually get something sweet and something savory and then we share....Like we both get omelets or eggs benedict and then get french toast or pancakes to share. Also some bacon!! Yum I love breakfast!!! 

_khaleesi

Oh @shamrocandroll I am so very sorry. We are here for you and are rooting for you. Hugs. Feel free to message me any time. 

kbrown2385

Gotta post and run but I’ll be back for tags! 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 6 losses; 12/13, 1/17, 11/17, 4/18, 9/18, 2/19

Status: tww

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Didn’t make an effort this cycle, so it’s kind of a throw away. Spring is in the air here though and it’s really lifting my mood.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Follow up appt to the loss in February on Wednesday. Getting a little anxious about it and hoping my re actually listens to my list of questions. 

GTKY: When you go out to breakfast/brunch, do you usually order something sweet or savory? Depends on my mood. I love all things breakfast and like to try all the things. Pancakes are my favorite though. 

shamrocandroll

@Spartanrd4 That's the smart way to do it!  MH doesn't really like going out to breakfast, which I don't understand at all.  It's my favorite!

shamrocandroll

@_khaleesi Thank you.  I'll be okay, but it's been a rough last week or so waiting for AF to get here.  I appreciate the offer, though. 

Spartanrd4

@_khaleesi HIO ED...I give mad props to anyone that can do that! I love escape rooms they are so much fun....I haven't been to one in a few years. 

@shamrocandroll Corned beef hash is good too!! How could you not like going out for breakfast???!! I think you deserve a breakfast/brunch date stat! 

@kbrown2385 I hope your appointment with the RE goes well and she listens to your questions. 

hanshotfirst77

@shamrocandroll I'm so sorry. Waiting for AF after loss sucks. I hope she shows up soon. 

@kbrown2385 Good luck at your appt this week! I hope you get some answers and a plan forward.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. MMC 2/19

Status: CD1 finally! 

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Well AF finally showed up after what has been the longest most confusing cycle ever. It's bittersweet cause I know I couldn't have been pregnant but AF still kinda stung. 

*TW*Someone elses PG

I had to see my very pregnant sister this weekend and I survived. She doesn't know about my miscarriage or that I was even pregnant so I really can't blame her, but it's been so hard coping having her pregnancy just right there all the time. And of course the entire family event was 100% focused on her and the pregnancy. An aunt even asked if I was pregnant so that kinda stung too. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Friday I have a Saline Sono and if I get the all clear I can start Femara again.

GTKY: When you go out to breakfast/brunch, do you usually order something sweet or savory?

My favorite thing to get has to be eggs Benedict.

marebear15

@shamrocandroll - I tend to eat my feelings too. The week of my CP I ate through a huge bag of dark chocolate M&Ms. I hope you don't have to be in limbo too much longer. Will you be TTC next cycle?

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. CP in Jan at 4w6d

Status: TWW

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I would have been 12 weeks this Friday and I'm dealing with seeing other people announce that I would have been pregnant with. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Just POAS on Thursday

GTKY: When you go out to breakfast/brunch, do you usually order something sweet or savory? Savory! I love a good Eggs Benedict or an Eggs Cochon.

Spartanrd4

@marebear15 the announcements suck especially when its around the time you would of done it. Easter is not going to be fun because that's around the time we would of announced our baby that was due in October...will probably avoid FB that day  

@hanshotfirst77 Yay AF finally came even if it gives you conflicting feelings which I totally understand- so sorry about your sister and having to deal with that, happy that you made it through it. I am kinda glad in a lot of ways that my step sister and I don't live near each other so I don't have to be around her baby all the time- I haven't seen her since she was born. 

maserrano714

@_khaleesi the escape roo. Sounds fun. I've always wanted to try that. Glad you had such a great weekend 

@shamrocandroll I feel ya girl. I too am WFAF after my D&C and I'm on day 31. Last time it came back 5 weeks after so I'm hoping any day now but I have zero PMS symptoms, so I doubt it. Don't usually look forward to AF but I am now. I feel like I need it to get back on track and start temping, etc. Hope AF comes soon. 

@Spartanrd4 I like my alone time too sometimes. There are random times where I am super needy and want him around, then days when I love being alone and just doing me. I think it keeps ur marriage healthy. 

@kbrown2385 good luck with your RE. Hope you get all the answers you need. Pancakes totally rock by the way!

@hanshotfirst77 I'm sorry about having to cope with your sister being pregnant and your family asking about your situation. Way to hang in there. Must have been tough. Hope it gets better.

@marebear15 I'm sorry it's hard for you this week. Those "what if" dates are really really tough. Sending you lots of hugs.

AFM:

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: 2 losses, 1 MMC @ 8wks 8/2018, 1 MMC & D&C @ 9wks 2/2019

Status: benched/WFAF

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Had a good weekend in San Diego celebrating brother-in-law's bday so I got some time to just relax and enjoy and not think about work, school or TTC. I did have a good cry last night. Was catching up on my DVR and saw an episode of Young Sheldon and the mom had a miscarriage and I broke down. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? My lab results came back normal so the next step is a genetic panel for me and DH

GTKY: When you go out to breakfast/brunch, do you usually order something sweet or savory? I live sweet everytime all the time. Breakfast is my favorite meal. I do get some savory to begin with and always end with sweet, pancakes usually.

shamrocandroll

@Spartanrd4 Oh, don't worry.  I still make him come out to breakfast with me all the time.  In fact, we just went yesterday. 

@marebear15 Not planning on trying next cycle.  December isn't really an option for us because MH works so much, plus I really want to get a regular cycle in between this time around.  I didn't last time, and I feel like I should have given myself another cycle.

@maserrano714 I hope she shows up soon for us both!

Spartanrd4

@maserrano714 Sometimes a good cry is very therapeutic- thats how I felt when I talked to a counselor. I am sorry that a TV show triggered you and you weren't prepared for it. 

hanshotfirst77

@marebear15 the announcement thing is so hard. I felt the same way, I would have been announcing now too. Hugs

kagesstarshroom

@shamrocandroll Sorry to hear about your long cycle & complementary difficulties. Maybe we'll both get AF together this week & can join WTO together & skip down a rainy road filled with gold coins towards our rainbow? It's like spring here, and almost St. Patrick's Day (I always forget the exact date, but I have a feeling you might know--) so forgive my corny imagery.

@maserrano714 Sorry that you had a cry, but I hope it really was a "good" one--I think representation of things that actually happen to women's bodies on a (sadly when it comes to mc) normal basis is so so so important. 

@marebear15 I had that milestone last week & just tried to distract myself & life was like "here i am, distracting you." I hope you can find some solace in your own way to deal with it, whether through distraction or something else. I am sorry it's hitting you hard right now.

@hanshotfirst77 Can someone just slap all the aunts/people that ask stuff like that? this is another reason I think more frequent representation of miscarriage in pop culture is so important. Like, if as many pregnancies on tv ended in mc as are statistically thought to, I feel like there would be greater awareness and less terrible lines of questioning to endure.

@kbrown2385 Yay spring! So glad you are going to advocate for yrself Wed. I am looking forward to hearing how it goes and super hoping it goes well & you are heard & get what you know is best for you.

@Spartanrd4 SAME re: that alone time. (MH is in town, but I cherish it when I get it, though I *do* miss him a lot.) 

@_khaleesi GL w/ O week!

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. CP Oct. 2018 / MMC + D&C Feb. 2019

Status: TWW 

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? So, I made it through last week! Hooray! And AF is on her way this week, I HOPE, fingers crossed. If I'm right & my luteal phase is normally 14-15 days and it's normal post-O even though this is my post-d&c cycle, she'll be here Thurs. or Fri.

but I have a Big Rant, see spoiler (just for length) why am I so long-winded---

 One of my (2) BFFs hasn't been in touch over the past ~month except like 1-2 texts. We have remained close despite my move out of state a few years ago—we’ve been BFFs since 8th grade for some perspective. The last time we talked was the week after my D&C, during which she kind of said all the wrong stuff? ("everything happens for a reason" "is there something wrong w/ yr body" etc.) But I wasn't nasty about it AT ALL, I just grinned & bore it (that sounds weird in the past tense.) I reached out the other day to be like “hey I’m super free these upcoming days, call me when you can.” & no call, no text back, nothing. I’m sad bc... she's supposed to be part of my support system and...now I also have to be worried about her. Plus annoyed that I have to be worried! Blargh. She was OVER THE MOON that I was PG & was in touch multiple times a week for the month/so I was before my loss, so it's an even bigger hit that she dropped off right after my loss.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? n/a

GTKY: When you go out to breakfast/brunch, do you usually order something sweet or savory? I feel like I go either way, but maybe like 7/4 savory/sweet when I am out to eat--but this ratio is different at home, where it's mostly yogurt!

shamrocandroll

@kagesstarshroom Hahaha, are you racially profiling me?    (I'm kidding).  It's March 17.    We're planning to start trying again beginning in April.  I'm really sorry your best friend isn't supporting you.  I'll admit I didn't know how to support someone through a loss before experiencing it myself, so I try to give people the benefit of the doubt.  Maybe she since realized she said the wrong things and is embarrassed?  I hope she gets back to you soon so you don't have to worry about her.

ruby696

Wow, I'm late to the game today! I'm on mobile, so hoping I didn't miss anyone...

@_khaleesi Wow, that's dedication! I can do ED, but not that early in the morning. Do not touch me before 6am.

@shamrocandroll I'm sorry you're still waiting on AF. That's so incredibly frustrating. Hugs. 

@kagesstarshroom I'm sorry about your friend. People who haven't experienced a loss don't always know how to handle it, but that's no excuse to be a bad friend. I hope she comes around soon.

@marebear15 FX so hard for Thursday! I will be sending you all the good thoughts this week.

@hanshotfirst Ugh, doesn't that kind of make you want to answer, "no, because I just had a miscarriage " just to make everyone realize how crappy they didn't even know they were being? (Spiteful, i know) Of course, then I'd start crying, so I've never said it. But dammit, I want to. Sorry you had to deal with that. 

@kbrown2385 I'm glad spring is bringing you some happiness. You've had so much time to research treatment, RE isn't going to know what hit her!

@spartanrd4 Sorry you're missing FW, but enjoy your time alone - I love having the house all to myself!

@maserrano714 Sorry you broke down - those triggers just come out of nowhere. I hope it was therapeutic though.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 5 losses - 3 MMC's and 2 CP's.

Status: Benched 

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Things are AWESOME because I woke up to spotting this morning. That means CD1 is in a day or two, and I will be OFF THE BENCH. Plus, I get to finish up the testing we've been waiting to do and will do our first IUI round in a couple weeks. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Just waiting to do my CD2 estriodol/FSH and an US.

GTKY: When you go out to breakfast/brunch, do you usually order something sweet or savory? I'm not a huge breakfast person (go ahead, flame away), but if I have to do it, I go savory. Usually an omelet or huevos rancheros. 

kbrown2385

@ruby696 I’m really hoping I don’t come across like a b**** with my RE but it’s only because I’m so frustrated lol. So glad you’re finally getting off that bench and excited for your iui!

@kagesstarshroom I’m so sorry your friend is acting like that. Here’s hoping she comes around soon. 

@maserrano714 so glad you had a nice weekend! It’s great when you have a chance to be free from all the ttc stress, even if it’s just for a short time.

@marebear15 announcements are the worst. I’m sorry you are having to go through it. I’ve unfollowed quite a few people on fb because I just don’t want to see it.

@hanshotfirst77 dealing pregnant family members is so hard tw* my sisters gender reveal is in a couple of weeks and I’m dreading it. 

@Spartanrd4 hope you’re able to enjoy those few days to yourself! It’s nice to be able to recharge sometimes.

@_khaleesi so glad you had a good weekend! I’ve been wanting to try an escape room, they look so fun! 

@shamrocandroll Sorry it’s been so hard recently. I’ve definitely had those moments of letting my emotions get the best of me during intimacy lol. Hopefully yh was good about it.

shamrocandroll

@kbrown2385 He was so good about it and felt terrible.  He was like "Why didn't you just tell me you didn't want to?" and I was like "Because I want to want to!!!"  Poor guy, haha.  We're trying so hard to focus on our romance during this break, and all of this hormone bullsh*t is making it really hard!  

ruby696

@kbrown2385 I have no doubt that you will ask intelligent questions. And if your RE gets pissy with you for wanting to talk about a treatment plan, then they get what they deserve!

Spartanrd4

@kagesstarshroom I am sorry your friend is ghosting you- hope you guys can reconnect. 

@ruby696 yay for getting off the bench! 

hanshotfirst77

@kbrown2385 It really is isn't it? I feel for you on the gender reveal. My sister had hers the day after I found out about my MMC. I just couldn't bring myself to go. I hope you get through it , hugs

@ruby696 I so wish I could be that person that says that comment back. But of course I just sat there biting my tongue, fake smiling. I know if I started talking about the loss I'd start crying too.

@kagesstarshroom That is so true. I wish there was more awareness. I really wish I could have told them so maybe they wouldn't put their foot in their mouth talking to me. Maybe they wouldn't have focused so much on the PG in front of me. But I'm just glad it's over and I can kinda distance myself for a little while. 

I think I asked this when I first joined, but just curious since I know some of us are approaching our first AF post loss/getting off the bench etc, anyone else doing a saline sono before TTC again?

ruby696

@hanshotfirst77 I've already done mine. It was NBD. However, it seemed to "unblock" something for me and I bled for a week after and hcg finally went to zero. If you bleed, don't worry. Just keep an eye on it.

hanshotfirst77

@ruby696 ok thanks for sharing your experience. I’ve had one before but not for a loss. My RE wanted to do one before he would start IUI treatment. I don’t believe I bled afterwards but that was in late 2017. So idk maybe I did. I’ll definitely keep an eye out for bleeding. The plan is to go right into an IUI cycle afterwards so hopefully that won’t delay anything. They have me starting BC tonight. 

ruby696

@hanshotfirst77 I didn't bleed normally after my last loss, so I'm sure that's why I did after the saline sono. I just wanted to mention it because everything I read said you might have a day of spotting, so I was initially worried. It sounds like we're basically at the same stage. I started spotting today, so I'll do day 2-3 labs later this week I expect, plus an US, then the plan is to do IUI. So I expect to get BC during my US appt. Good luck to you!!

hanshotfirst77

@ruby696 yes it sounds like were on similar paths. Good luck to you as well! Fx!

kagesstarshroom

@shamrocandroll Also planning to start again in April, I think! If AF comes when I predict, I'll be traveling for my FW this month -_- & I have been going back and forth whether to wait another cycle or not. Waiting is super hard. As for my BFF, I wonder if she even feels like she said anything wrong? I really just don't know.  / Also, "bc I want to want to!" is so real.

@ruby696 hooooooray for spotting & being unbenched! wooo! side note: I also can't really get into breakfast? 

Thanks to all who are hopeful that my BFF and I can resolve whatever the heck is keeping her away from me. I appreciate it.

shamrocandroll

@kagesstarshroom I relate so much to the "waiting is hard" sentiment.  I didn't wait last time though and even though my OB says there was no medical reason for me to wait after my first loss, I can't help but wonder, you know?  So I feel like I owe my body at least one normal, full cycle.  It's so hard though!  Also, I was laughing at the "I want to want to" thing earlier because then I changed the lyrics and started singing "I want me to want you" in my head.    If I don't laugh, I'll cry, I figure.

emeraldduchess

Sorry I have to post and go today but I will try to get back with tags tonight or tomorrow. 💙

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 1 early miscarriage at 5 weeks, 1 day in December 

Status: WTO ( I might have O'ed, just waiting for temps to confirm)

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? DH and I both have colds, so we haven't been able to HIO as much as we would like/need to.  On one hand, I don't want to have O'ed too soon because our timing wasn't great, but I don't want to O too late because that worries me in terms of egg quality. We are wrapping up the term at school and I have piles of things to grade.  Not fun, especially when you're sick. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope. Still have the specialist's phone number and I think I will call if this cycle is a bust.  DH thinks our loss should reset the clock, but I don't want to wait much longer.

GTKY: When you go out to breakfast/brunch, do you usually order something sweet or savory? Oooh this is a good one!  I love getting scrambled eggs with toast and homefries, but it's hard to resist the siren song of French toast, especially if it's made with cinnamon bread or Portuguese sweet bread! Now I want to go out to breakfast ASAP.  

kerco925

@hanshotfirst77 I can relate.  My sister is very pregnant as well and I spent yesterday with her.  She found out she was pregnant as I was miscarrying.  While I am so happy for a nephew, it stings at the same time.  

I don't have high hopes for this cycle.  And I just realized 9dpo, when I typically test, was my due date for my twin loss. I might hold off on that. 

_khaleesi

Partial tag and run. 

@Spartanrd4 enjoy your alone time! With H’s Work I also get the alone time and it can be glorious. People always ask how I do it and I’m like easy, I enjoy it. And then I enjoy seeing him again. Something about absence and a heart fonder. As for HIO ED, I’ll give up on that if no o by cd19. Only 5 more days to go...😬 I was also due in October. 🙁

@shamrocandroll my H also is not a big breakfast guy and I’m all omg breakfast is my favorite! Give me all the breakfast!

@ruby696 I’m more like don’t touch me until noon and H is a morning person so he’s loving it. 

@hanshotfirst77 I hope Friday goes well for you! Sorry you have a pregnancy so in your face right now. I swear I never saw any pregnant women and now they’re all over the freaking place. It stings like a mofo. 

@marebear15 so sorry you’re dealing with the announcement milestone. The milestones will start hitting for me next week. First appointment and announcing to parents. It’s going to suck. 

Spartanrd4

@emeraldduchess If its any consolation- I always O late in my cycle *TW LC mentioned* and actually the cycle I conceived DD I O'd on day 23 so when you O late in your cycle it doesn't always mean decreased egg quality. 

maserrano714

@kagesstarshroom sorry to hear about your friend. I hope you get the support you need. I had a similar issue and I learned just last week that the reason she has been so distant is that her husband left her the same day I had my D&C and she didn't want to bother me with her problems knowing I had my own. I felt so bad for her but I understood. Hope you guys can resolve it soon.

@ruby696 so happy for you for getting off the bench. Wishing you tons of luck!!

@hanshotfirst77 I was never told anything about a saline sono for either loss. I was only told to wait at least 2 cycles before TTC. Thanks for bringing it up. Will ask my doc about it. 

@emeraldduchess hope you and YH feel better soon. My DH has a cold right now and I'm trying not to get sick also. 

sorarose

Hi everyone, I'm back. Posting the whole story in a spoiler, but just had my first appointment to confirm my pregnancy today, and it looks like a blighted ovum. This is my first experience with loss, and I am appreciative that this community exists to provide support.

I was in TTGP then in Oct 2019 BMB. Had my first official appointment today, although I also had one at 5w4d for ovarian pain. They saw an empty gestational sac measuring a day ahead then, but doctor said he wasn't concerned. Well, I've been concerned. Today the gestational sac was measuring ahead one day again, but still totally empty. They won't call it because it doesn't meet some threshold, but just had HCG done and will repeat Thursday to hopefully get my confirmation. I'm mostly upset I'm suffering with symptoms and nothing to show for it and that my body couldn't take care of it itself. 

ruby696

@sorarose I am so sorry. I was in a similar situation myself not too long ago and I know how horrible it is being in limbo for weeks at a time. If you need to chat, you're welcome to PM me. Hugs 

maserrano714

@sorarose I am so sorry you find yourself here. We are all here for you if you need anything. We know how its feels when your body stills thinks it pregnant but you are awaiting the worst. Sending lots of hugs and love your way.

kerco925

@sorarose I am so sorry you're joining us.  I know how tough and frustrating it is when you still have symptoms.  

_khaleesi

@sorarose I am so very sorry to see you here. This is a wonderfully supportive community of women and I hope it can help you make your way through this difficult and frustrating time. Please know that you are not alone. Hugs to you. 

hanshotfirst77

@sorarose im sorry for your loss. I had a MMC in February and it is so hard when your body just doesn’t get it. This community is really supportive. I hope it can help you. We’re all here if you need anything.