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August 2019 Moms
Avrilmai
member
TTC#1 10/2016
TTC/IF:included medicated cycles, IUIs and 2 rounds of IVF with 1 embryo each.
BFP finally in 12/2018
TTC#2 06/2021
planning FET
Options
Group 3 Check-In (Aug 15-23)-w/o 03/04
Avrilmai
member
We haven't had one of these in a while.
Est Due Date / Weeks + Days:
Baby is the size of a(n):
What team are you on (Blue, Pink, or Green):
Upcoming Appointments:
How are you feeling?:
Rants/Raves:
Questions:
GTKY: What is the best non-pregnancy/parenting advice you have gotten? what about parenting/pregnancy advice?
TTC#1 10/2016
TTC/IF:included medicated cycles, IUIs and 2 rounds of IVF with 1 embryo each.
BFP finally in 12/2018
TTC#2 06/2021
planning FET
"Some days are diamonds, some days are rocks,
some doors are open, some roads are blocked"
Re: Group 3 Check-In (Aug 15-23)-w/o 03/04
Est Due Date / Weeks + Days: Aug 17/16 w 2d
Baby is the size of a(n): pickle
What team are you on (Blue, Pink, or Green): pink
Upcoming Appointments: sono/mfm/ob this Thursday
How are you feeling?: Alright, tired, but not as tired as I have been.
Rants/Raves: not really? I never really know what to opu here.
Questions: nope
GTKY: What is the best non-pregnancy/parenting advice you have gotten? what about parenting/pregnancy advice? The best advice I've gotten was about marriage. Someone randomly at a race my husband owns told me "it takes more than love to make a marriage work." When she told me I kind of thought she was nuts. But it's definitely true. I mean love is kind of at the heart of everything you do in a marriage, but sometimes it's not enough. And sometimes love isn't enough of a reason to stay married. Not sure what the best pregnancy/parenting advice I've gotten has been.
Est Due Date / Weeks + Days: 15w3d
Baby is the size of a(n): Pear (4 inch 2,5 oz)
What team are you on (Blue, Pink, or Green): Not sure yet!
Upcoming Appointments: March 28
I don't want to wait that long
How are you feeling?: Great! Endless energy!
Rants/Raves: Iron pills are the worst
Questions: Should I do a gender reveal at the baby shower? LOL My husband scheduled the shower SUPER early and we won't know the sex until 2 weeks before the party. Kind of want to surprise everyone.
GTKY: What is the best non-pregnancy/parenting advice you have gotten? what about parenting/pregnancy advice?
Have a birth plan but be flexible!
Non P/P advice would be to not feel bad about separating yourself from toxic people.
Est Due Date / Weeks + Days: EDD 8/16; 16w3d
Baby is the size of a(n): The Bump = Avocado; Ovia = Dill pickle
What team are you on (Blue, Pink, or Green): Green
Upcoming Appointments: Anatomy scan got moved up to 3/18!
How are you feeling?: Feeling pretty good. Still tired but heartburn has started, blahhh
Rants/Raves: I vacuumed the entire upstairs as well as vacuumed all the dog hair off of all our couches (thanks to our Golden Retriever) on Saturday. Then Sunday I was completely useless and did nothing haha. My DH also did start painting our bedroom finally too so I was happy about that. I can't think of any Rants atm.
Questions: None right now.
GTKY: What is the best non-pregnancy/parenting advice you have gotten? what about parenting/pregnancy advice? I guess advice that I found useful was to pick your battles (both parenting and for marriage). With my DH, I have to make a conscientious effort on what I really want to nitpick about and others that aren't that big a deal. Same with DD, especially at the toddler age, although she may say and/or do things that I wish she wouldn't, we try to be stricter about things that are genuinely no debate issues (for example, she HAS to hold the railing when going up and down the stairs and she's learned we mean that).
Started TTC in June 2014
Started seeing RE in June 2015
HSG in July 2015 = normal, started Clomid/Ovidrel/IUI cycle in August 2015
Cycle #3 in October afforded 1st month of mature follicles - underwent IUI
BFP on 10/27/15 - EDD 7/8/16
DD#1 born on 7/1/16
TTC #2 in September 2018
BFP on 12/2/18 - EDD 8/16/19
Team Green!
Est Due Date / Weeks + Days: 16 weeks today!
Baby is the size of a(n): Dill pickle
What team are you on (Blue, Pink, or Green): Still shocked and coming to terms with being team pink (excited but I have a lot of baggage I'm bringing into this mother / daughter relationship and I am really terrified).
Upcoming Appointments: Tomorrow for my normal checkup and 3/26 for Level 2 ultrasound with MFM
How are you feeling?: Exhausted and really emotionally drained. I can't focus on anything and I am just in a really moody space right now.
Rants/Raves: Not too much. I want the baby, not the pregnancy. Pregnancy is emotionally and physically so hard on me. I cry all the time because I am just so anxious and depressed and on top of that I have HG. It's just so much. I just want the baby. This happens every single time so it's nothing new and I know it's a short period of time in the long run but I am really struggling.
Questions: None
GTKY: What is the best non-pregnancy/parenting advice you have gotten? what about parenting/pregnancy advice? Work advice: force your superiors to know you. It shows you are a human more than a productivity machine. I am really good at separating work / personal when it comes to critiques and learning (the more you know, the more you can change!) but I also make it a point to know about my team's families, weekend plans, personal struggles (as much as I can as their boss) and do the same for mine. It has served me well.
For parenting, I don't know if someone told me or it was a blog or if because my parents were so fucked up I always thought this? But it's much harder to be a kid than kids are given credit for. Those ridiculous things to us really are big things to them. It's important to coach them through their emotions and not shame them for having feelings, however ridiculous it may seem.
TTC#1 10/2016
TTC/IF:included medicated cycles, IUIs and 2 rounds of IVF with 1 embryo each.
BFP finally in 12/2018
TTC#2 06/2021
planning FET
"Some days are diamonds, some days are rocks,
some doors are open, some roads are blocked"
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
@Avrilmai yes, and I have the same doctor I had with my second baby and went through the exact same thing. I had to start meds halfway through my pregnancy and then weaned off of them once he was here. I struggle so much during pregnancy. Emotionally I was great and thought I might avoid it this time, but it hit me hard. And I do go to therapy, I have friends that are super aware, and a great partner. I have the village. It's just so.damn.hard. to get through the day sometimes for no reason. I have an OB appt tomorrow and therapy Friday and plan to discuss it with both of them.
Hi I've missed this group!
Est Due Date / Weeks + Days: August 16 / 16w 3d
Baby is the size of a(n): avocado
What team are you on (Blue, Pink, or Green): Blue! (I've known for weeks and it's still sinking in hahaha. DD is such a girly presence!)
Upcoming Appointments: regular OB appt 3/15 and then anatomy scan 3/27. @agpandme I'm in the middle of a long stretch of no appointments and I feel you on getting tired of the wait!
How are you feeling?: I'm just getting over a fairly bad sinus infection type thing so I'm looking forward to getting back into exercising, which I know will help me feel better all round!
Rants/Raves: so using The Bump app is clunky, but I'm on my computer today and wow the ads underneath the text boxes for responding to threads are really annoying me. There's one that's like (already creepily) "locate anyone yes hi be a stalker stalking is cool" or whatever, but the accompanying picture is a really unsettling woman and I'm getting some serious Momo vibes from her. I've had to reposition my browser window like 5 times to escape her steely stare.
Questions: @agpandme I don't know that I'd be able to keep the secret for two weeks while waiting for the shower!
GTKY: What is the best non-pregnancy/parenting advice you have gotten? what about parenting/pregnancy advice?
non-baby: it's such a little thing, but I have a tendency to be messy and I found this little piece of advice (from my grandfather) helpful, that if you have something in your hand and need to put it down, spend the extra 10 seconds right then actually going to where it's supposed to go. If you don't want to spend the time, and just put it down wherever, you wind up spending more time later on straightening up everything.
pregnancy: also a little tiny thing, but I never heard or read it anywhere else, so I want to share from a friend: near the end of the pregnancy buy yourself something nice like a fancy pair of pajamas or luxe robe or something just for you, to have after the baby comes. She said that as soon as the baby is born everything becomes about him/her and it's so easy to lose yourself, so a little item like that as an indulgence just for yourself is something nice to look forward to.
Est Due Date / Weeks + Days: August 22/ 13 W 4 Days - I am having twins which will be delivered no later than 38 weeks which is why my due date & weeks don’t line up!
Baby is the size of a(n): Lemons
What team are you on (Blue, Pink, or Green): Double Pink!
Upcoming Appointments: checkup March 22nd
How are you feeling?: Still in shock that there are twins! I only found out 5 days ago when I went in for the NT scan. Overall feeling physically great!
Rants/Raves: Raves: Feeling super grateful for all of the support and well wishes that have been flowing in from family in friends since sharing our news of twin girls! Also so blessed that the results from the NT scan were great and both babies are extremely low risk.
Rants: On the reverse of that, I’m already sick of the negative people telling us we will never sleep again and focusing only on the negative things. I’d like to throat punch them- ha!
Questions:
GTKY: What is the best non-pregnancy/parenting advice you have gotten? what about parenting/pregnancy advice?
I can’t think of anything right now because I’ve been overwhelmed with great and not so great advice lately!
Est Due Date / Weeks + Days: somewhere between 8/17 and 8/24. Tomorrow I should know if they are moving my EDD again
Baby is the size of a(n): No idea and too lazy to look right now.
What team are you on (Blue, Pink, or Green): green til delivery!
Upcoming Appointments: regular check up tomorrow. F.I.N.A.L.L.Y meeting my new OB and curious if she will be changing my EDD since baby was measuring 10-11 days ahead at last u/s.
How are you feeling?: Like crap quite honestly still nauseous, tired, already have back hip and pelvic pain. But I am thankful for it all.
Rants/Raves: My head cold keeps getting worse and the kids have yet another snow day. I am sick of winter and sick of feeling sick. Just feeling done with everything right now. Rave: while I was typing this LO started wiggling around like, "Hey Mama, its fine...I love you."
Questions:
GTKY: What is the best non-pregnancy/parenting advice you have gotten? what about parenting/pregnancy advice?
Non-pregnancy: No one can ever make you feel inferior without your consent.
Parenting: "Your baby is not giving you a rough time, she is going through a rough time." DD cried and cried and cried as a baby, she has always been a challenging one. As I was bouncing her around the house with my eyes half open, day and night, it was a great reminder that she was not doing it just to make things harder for me. I still try to remind myself of that general idea now that the kids are older...but sometimes toddlers and kids do want to push your buttons on purpose too.
1/12/13 DD was born
4/9/16 DS was born
9/17 CP
6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19
@knottie22d5d03630094f34 if you go to the knot and change your user name it would be a lot easier to remember/Identify you. you may have to log out to have the name change take effect. congrats on the twins.
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
Est Due Date / Weeks + Days: 8/23 15w4d
Baby is the size of a(n): box of crayons
What team are you on (Blue, Pink, or Green): Pink
Upcoming Appointments: 3/12 for my first MFM appt then 3/20 for my next ob appt (and first of 2 GD tests)
How are you feeling?: lots of headaches— over it
Rants/Raves: I’m really tired. I wasn’t this tired in the first trimester. So ready for spring break!
Questions:
GTKY: What is the best non-pregnancy/parenting advice you have gotten? what about parenting/pregnancy advice?
Non-parenting: Don’t be afraid to say no (I still suck at this)
Parenting: not sure yet
Est Due Date / Weeks + Days: Aug 19, 16w 1d
Baby is the size of a(n): 💿
What team are you on (Blue, Pink, or Green): pink 😊
Upcoming Appointments: not until the end of the month
How are you feeling?: up and down, some days I feel full of energy and others I’m dead. Oh and my moods= 🎢
Rants/Raves: we’ve just started looking into our childcare options for two kids— it’s insane. DH is seriously considering finding a higher paying job even though we have great work/life balance with his current one.
Questions: would love insight/personal experiences of the pros and cons of kids in traditional daycare vs hiring a nanny (to be at my house only responsible for my kids) vs taking them to an in-home daycare (several kids in someone else’s home)
GTKY: What is the best non-pregnancy/parenting advice you have gotten? Never stop nourishing your relationship/marriage
what about parenting/pregnancy advice? Days are long but the years are short
eta: @jmesue1030 I have only done a large daycare center but this is specifically because with my job I HAVE to have reliable day care with expanded hours (they are open from 6am to 6:30pm) I have several friends who have tried nannies... I think the biggest challenge is finding a reliable one. Several of my friends have gone through multiple nannies in just a few months time because they are unreliable, quit for better (more pay) jobs or personal reasons. Its been tough on the kids with all the transition and tough on them because they have had to take a ton of time off work because they don't have child care. Also with in-home daycares if the provider is sick or needs a vacation (which by all rights they deserve) I have friends who have to call out because again they don't have care.. but in home daycares can be way less expensive... so I think it depends on what your priorities and needs are. I guess one other thought is if you have a child with special needs (dietary or otherwise... sometimes this might also dictate your options.) My daughter has celiacs so we have to prepare all her foods.... we had some growing pains for a while with daycare (but we were also learning too after her diagnosis) but now they are pretty good to ensure that no one else handles her food and hand washing and not giving her anything we don't provide...
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
Hiring and managing domestic work can be a challenging world! I’ve been volunteering with an organization that supports and helps educate employers on best practices for domestic work from a social justice perspective. (Domestic workers are a sometimes overlooked population at a really vulnerable intersection of worker-rights abuses, immigrant rights, and women’s rights.)
If it’s at all helpful in navigating this decision, I know of a free webinar coming up on March 13 on best practices for hiring domestic help: https://www.facebook.com/events/2178662129114083/?ti=ia
Daycare
Pros:
Open during designated hours
If a teacher calls off they have to meet ratio and will call in a floater
social skills (making friends, following rules, learning to sit, etc)
eat a wider variety of foods
Being exposed to germs is scientifically proven to boost their immune system by the time they go to kindergarten
If there's a problem you can go to the director and deal with administration
Cons:
Usually underpaid teachers so look for a center that pays a salary and therefore attracts a higher caliber person
Ratio for infants (at least in my state) is 1:5 if they are not a NAEYC certified center
The amount of times your kid gets sick the first year or two will flat out fucking astound you which means you can't bring them to daycare while they're sick and for 24 hours after
Nanny
Pros:
One on one interaction with your kid
They can watch the baby when it gets a cold
Your kid will also get sick significantly less
They come to your house so you don't have to wake your kid up and get them ready, get them to daycare, and get to work all in the morning
They are not exhausted and starving when you get home
My nanny does my oldest's reading log with him so that is also done when I get home
Close, personal relationship as long as you hire the right person, with someone you all love and trust as family
Cons:
They can call off and leave you in a pinch (HOWEVER--my nanny has called out sick twice in 9 months and that is way less than the time I would've taken off for having a sick kid I am sure)
You have to deal with any problems with them directly
Not as much structured time because it is hard to structure time with one child (although this is also a pro--they play all day long)
Have to have food prepped for your kid
They can quit at any time.
The other part is logistics--with a nanny, you have to pay payroll taxes on top of the salary you offer. Will you offer paid time off? How much? Will you give two weeks--one for them to choose and one for you to choose? Will they go on vacations with you? Are you willing to trust them to drive your children around (always do a driving test!)? If they're in an accident while driving your kids, will you cover the deductible as any other business would? Would you NOT cover if it were the result of distracted driving (texting, etc.)? A nanny contract is very important so looking for one and piecing together parts that are important to you is a good idea.
We had our kids in full time daycare until last June. My oldest son always thrived in daycare. He is a social butterfly and a really popular kid with a lot of friends and really loves daycare. My youngest never did. He thrives on very personal attention and struggled in daycare. We moved when he was one and switched daycares to the same center, different location. My oldest was in the kids campus for school aged kids and they were great and I had nothing but problems with the daycare. I can't even go into how bad it was but I found out they fed him dairy, which he is allergic to, twice and I can share the whole story if anyone cares, but it's long and I pulled him and hired a summer nanny while I interviewed.
I interviewed 12 people, brought three into our home for an interview. One I did not like at all. The second I thought would be a great nanny but wasn't a great fit for our family personality-wise. The third, our current nanny, I knew I loved pretty quickly, did a driving test, called her references, and offered her the job a few days later. She gave her current family a one month notice which I really appreciated because if she ever leaves us, that gives us time to find someone. Things can change, but as of right now, I don't see her leaving our family. Our kids love her, I coach her immediately if something isn't right and she changes it, and she is very close to our family. She celebrated a birthday last week and the boys and I made a cake for her and had party hats and balloons and music playing when she came in. She's just part of the family!
The other financial piece is that we still put our oldest in daycare for winter, spring, and summer breaks, but part-time, because his needs are different and that's an added expense. We are also putting our second in preschool in the fall and that is also an additional cost. We are not rich, we are child-care poor but this is what works for us right now. And the preschool is a co-op which means I will have to do free marketing work for them and we only pay $30 a week for three days of preschool. So we find things that work and do our best.
Sorry for the long winded answer but it really is a personal choice and there is absolutely no right or wrong--I was always SO against a nanny because I loved the structure of a daycare center until that didn't work for us anymore. It is so kid and family dependent but you'll know the one when you find it!
Est Due Date / Weeks + Days: EDD: 8/21, 16 weeks
Baby is the size of a(n): Avocado
What team are you on (Blue, Pink, or Green): We have another month until we find out. Can't wait!
Upcoming Appointments: Tomorrow I have an appointment with my midwife
How are you feeling?: I'm feeling great. I'm still really tired by the end of the night, and go to bed between 8:30 and 9, but I also have a 13 month old and work full time so it's par for the course
Rants/Raves: Raves: We finally made out tax appointment for a few weeks from now. We're having someone do them for the first time this year. Rants: More snow coming this weekend. I'm so over it!
Questions: None currently
GTKY: What is the best non-pregnancy/parenting advice you have gotten? what about parenting/pregnancy advice? When we got married my BIL told us "may this be the day you look back and love each other the least." It's not really advice I suppose, but I just thought it was super sweet. Parenting advice, the cliche "days are long but years are short" has really helped put things in perspective for me. Some moments, days, phases in development are so so hard, but remembering that they will eventually end has helped. Also, appreciate the season/phase you're in right now rather then wishing it away and looking forward to the next phase. IDK if any of my rambling makes sense haha
Est Due Date / Weeks + Days: Aug 16 - 16w5d
Baby is the size of a(n): taco
What team are you on (Blue, Pink, or Green): Green
Upcoming Appointments: next Thursday - regular appointment & anatomy scan
How are you feeling?: All over the place. There are days I just don’t feel pregnant at all. Others, headaches are killing me and I am l-a-z-y.
Rants/Raves: Rants: Headaches have been killing me every morning. We’re on our 563rd cold this winter (seriously - where are you spring?? 😭) Raves: Energy is up, so therefore I’m doing things and that always makes me feel better. Tuesday I cleaned all baseboards in my home & many other random things lol
Questions: Anyone really feeling movement? Especially STM+? I feel like the quickest movements but then I question myself 🤦🏼♀️
GTKY: What is the best non-pregnancy/parenting advice you have gotten? what about parenting/pregnancy advice?
I don’t even know lol that’s a lot of thinking at the moment. ^^ I did like the “the days are long but the years are short” it is sooo true 😢
ETA: size of baby - my first answer was wrong 🤷🏼♀️
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
Est Due Date / Weeks + Days: August 17, 16w + 5d
Baby is the size of a(n): newborn hat? lol
What team are you on (Blue, Pink, or Green): it's a girl!
Upcoming Appointments: Was supposed to have one Wednesday but our midwife was sick. We'll probably reschedule for sometime next week!
How are you feeling?: Good, actually! I finally splurged on some much needed maternity clothes and it is SO nice to feel put together and not frumpy. I've been recycling the same two outfits (leggings and a baggy sweater!) over and over and making them look different with accessories. I'm still waking up to pee at least once every night but I'm actually waking up feeling well-rested and I have energy for most of the day. Also my first trimester acne is finally healing and going away and I haven't had any new zits appear!
Rants/Raves: No rants! Raves - I'm so excited to share the gender with our family and friends! We're having a gender reveal party on Sunday and I can't wait. Keeping this secret is torturous!
Questions: no
GTKY: What is the best non-pregnancy/parenting advice you have gotten? what about parenting/pregnancy advice? Oh goodness! I don't know if I've gotten any good pregnancy advice lol. Non-pregnancy - everything is temporary and nothing lasts forever... and it's so true. Sometimes when I'm really stressed or worried about something, or if I'm feeling stuck, I remember this and it helps me get past it.