July 2019 Moms

UO - 2/28

key33key33 member
edited March 2019 in July 2019 Moms
Let's hear those unpopular opinions!!


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Re: UO - 2/28

  • I think people who love being pregnant are crazy!

    I can't stand it. I toss and turn all night, I pee all the time, I'm tired, I’m always hungry (eat too much and indigestion), my stomach always feels tight, I’m out of breath bringing up the laundry and I could go on. I mean I've done this multiple times, but I really really don't like being pregnant at all. 
    ameliabedelia-2indulgentgypsymama_bear19pizzaplz
  • @key33 I definitely hated it the first time. I recall the first time just feeling really weird about a living thing growing inside of me and I coupled with all the negative physical symptoms and hormonal anxiety, I just wanted it all to be over with.

    With this LO, I'm relishing in it because I've wanted this pregnancy for so many years. I think I have a better handle on managing the physical and emotional stuff and I'm feeling pretty normal. Now that I know baby is healthy and I'm prepared for what's to come, I'm enjoying the crazy belly dance sessions. 
    indulgentgypsyCbeanzkey33blackhottamales
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  • @key33, me too lady. I hate it. One of my coworkers had a baby this morning and just sent me a pic. I am so jealous. And not even because she has her baby here to cuddle and hold...because she isn't pregnant anymore and gets to go on maternity leave, lol. So over it! 
    Momma to Amelia Marie (7/14) and Austin Samuel (11/17). Adding baby (girl) #3 on 7/21  <3
    indulgentgypsyjenniferjoy37key33
  • key33key33 member
    edited February 2019
    @mamanbebe - This is #3 for me. I didn't mind the first time as much, but I was still on my 20s then. The baby kicks are cute and I enjoy those... until they turn painful and limbs get lodged in your ribs. 

    @ameliabedelia-2 Not being pregnant sounds wonderful! I'd be feeling jealous too. 
  • I'm looking for a nursery set now. My UO is that I hate all of the sets with elephants on them. It's like the same elephant on every set. Also all the top boy sets are not great. 
    Cbeanzkey33
  • @asupernovablizzardstorm, look on Etsy, there are tons of people who will make the pieces you want with lots of cute prints.  Another place I love is https://www.spearmintlove.com/
    Momma to Amelia Marie (7/14) and Austin Samuel (11/17). Adding baby (girl) #3 on 7/21  <3
    key33
  • @key33 I didn’t mind being pregnant the first go around. Now I know what to expect, and I’m like, hurry up and grow so I can hold you and go on maternity leave. 

    @asupernovablizzardstorm You’re so right, there’s no cute boy sets I’ve seen either! And cribs/dressers are so damned expensive! 

    My UO: not gonna lie, maternity clothes are life. I wish I could wear them all the time and it be acceptable. I don’t want to go back to real jeans! 
    key33
  • I let my children use electronic devices and watch YouTube almost as much as they want. They have ground rules and get stuff taken away when they don't listen, but I don't think it is destroying their minds.
    ameliabedelia-2key33asupernovablizzardstorm
  • key33key33 member
    @asupernovablizzardstorm - I second Etsy. Neither of my kids had a store bought set, this one won’t either. I mixed and matched different colors and patterns to make my own. 

    @ameliabedelia-2 - I agree, these posts used to be a big hit. However, BMB seem to be much smaller than they used to be back when I had my 2nd. 

    @indulgentgypsy - I let my kids play on our ipad and watch TV throughout the day. I try to limit how long at once so they aren’t sitting around for hours, but I don’t think it’s ruining them. 

    @Cbeanz - I never got the whole labor gown thing. Why would I want to spend a bunch of money on something that’s going to get used once and ruined?
    indulgentgypsy
  • I get what the thread is about after reading but for the life of me can’t figure out what UO means.  
    May the risk of sounding ignorant... Somebody help me 😂. 
  • @leylea89 Unpopular Opinion :) 

    @Cbeanz Yes!! The hospital gown does not bother me in the least bit. Sure it's not the prettiest thing, but that's honestly the last thing on my mind. 

  • mama_bear19mama_bear19 member
    edited March 2019
    @cbeanz I’m actually taking one this time around, but it has nothing to do with social media bc I don’t ever post anything.  It’s actually for me to wear during recovery for several reasons... definitely not wearing during labor.  1- I feel very exposed in the regular gown. 2- I would like to be in something prettier when I look back at pictures of me and the baby. 3- I felt physically awful after my first so having something pretty might make me happier.
    Cbeanzindulgentgypsyblackhottamales
  • @mama_bear19 Rock that labor dress, girl!  I have no issues with women wearing them.  I just don't think the industry would exist if it weren't for social media.

    @Bear14+  I'm like you - I have no problems with the hospital gown. A nurse showed me a trick where you can wear one frontward and one backward so that when you walk around the halls you aren't showing people your business.  Not that I care, but I assure you, no one wants to see what I have going on under the gown anymore HAHA
  • @cbeanz you could be right about that! I’ll take the pretty prints. 😁
  • @key33 I am one of those people... lol ... for the most part I enjoy being pregnant. Has its ups and downs and I have had really good pregnancies so I cant complain!!
    Cbeanzmamanbebe
  • @Bear14+ Thank you! I literally figured it out from the first post scrolling down to see if my question got answered 😂. 

    I’m also enjoying being pregnant but I think it’s because it’s taken me SO much to get here. but I also totally understand how miserable some people can feel. I always thought I’d hate it because my mom told us all about how much she hated it.
  • I LOVED being pregnant with my first two. This one, no way. And it took a lot to get here. But I have not been enjoying myself.
  • We need someone to show up with a scandalous UO or FFFC. I can never think of any that I actually believe. 

    Although I did once spark a debate when I said I thought everyone should make at least some of their baby food. It’s easy and so much better. I got flamed for that... 
    Cbeanzindulgentgypsywabash15
  • @Happyin14 I usually start off making it... like the first things, sweet potatoes and other veggies and fruits. Then I get too lazy and start buying the organic stuff. But I also do baby led weaning as well as purees. 
  • @Happyin14 I agree! My sister lets me borrow her baby bullet which makes it even easier. But even without that it is very easy to make your own! I kind of credit my girls not being picky eaters to the fact that homemade baby food has more texture. Plus once we get the basics down, I make a lot of variety! I even did fish and venison!  
  • I think baby food/making baby food is a waste of time and money in general. I do BLW, they just eat what we eat from the beginning (unless it’s too spicy). It’s just so much easier skipping that step, and my 2 year old isn’t a picky eater at all. My 3 year old is the pickiest eater ever because he was on purées. 
    jenniferjoy37erynpdx
  • I don't think baby led weaning has anything to do with pickiness. Most three year olds go through a picky phase, but also some kids are going to be more sensitive to tastes and textures no matter how food is introduced. I've had friends whose kids ate literally everything up through age two and then jumped on the same old bandwagon of only wanting mac n cheese, butter noodles, white bread, etc. I think it's more of a control thing at that age then being affected by purees they ate during a time when they have very little concept of what is going on. Regardless of whether a mom fed their child pureed broccoli instead of whole florets at the age of 1, that kid is still going to judge broccoli HARD in a few years  :D
    Happyin14canuckmommaerynpdxwabash15
  • leylea89leylea89 member
    edited March 2019
    I used to think I’d make my own baby food, but pregnancy has me exhausted enough and he’s not even here yet. I can barely make my own food. I will exclusively breastfeed as long as possible because to me that is making my own baby food 😂😂.


    My UO is probably that I don’t give a crap what types of toys my son plays with or if he is attracted to ‘feminine’ things. I was a total tomboy and loved mud and toy cars and WWE was my favorite. Chyna (the wrestler not the baby mama to the kardashian family) made me feel like that was amazing. I think he’ll be a better man if I teach him his emotions are allowed, he can cry, it is okay to protect and care for a baby doll then he’ll be a great dad and man someday. Gendering kids play and toys and actions gets on my nerves. Let them be kids.
    keebler6elfpizzaplz
  • I can understand saying it’s a waste of time - although it doesn’t take that long. But it’s definitely not a waste of money! You buy one sweet potato and it makes like a week of food in the beginning. 

    I don’t really know that it leads to less picky eaters. My first ate EVERYTHING. And I was all “it’s because I made him baby food and served him spinach and yogurt and kale”. I did the exact same with my second and the kid won’t eat anything. 
    mamanbebeCbeanz
  • @leylea89 Re boys: I hope that isn't an unpopular opinion anymore, and if so, the future is bleak. I never bring up gender or age differences to my son or try to quash feelings because who needs to have that kind of stuff weighing on their conscience when they are supposed to be exploring life and opening their eyes to new things as children, not narrowing their view or feeling like they have to quash self expression. 
    leylea89pizzaplzerynpdx
  • @mamanbebe I think on tv and social media (ie the Gillette razor ad) it’s becoming less unpopular but in communities, people still look at you sideways when your kid carries a doll. I’m also about to move from a city to the small town I grew up in and that’s the opinion there. It’s like they want to protect traditionalist gender views so much it’s almost hostile. 

    I’ve been prepping my family for months on my gender views because I will not hesitate to check them for pushing that on him. 
  • @leylea89 I see what you mean, I hope people can keep their opinions to theirselves and not subject your family to shaming or judgements for your very accepting approach to raising kids. At DS' school here in Portland there are a few boys who wear dresses or skirts to school on occasion and it's been great to see everyone just accept it as normal but I know if someone did that in my ILs small-minded community, their heads would explode. 
  • @leylea89 and @mamanbebe that was a reason I didn’t want a boy. I know it is selfish to myself, but I just didn’t want to have to deal with those society/anthropological issues that men have to deal with. My husband was a more sensitive boy and his family tortured him for it. But I grew up in a house of strong and empowered women. 
    I have a good friend in our neighborhood who is my parenting idol. She’s amazing. She struggles and all like anyone, but I just think they are awesome. Their little boy carries around an Elena of Avalor doll. He loves dolls and Disney princesses because they are colorful and pretty. He is also super into snakes and playing in the dirt. He’s hilarious and precocious. 
    I hate that he will eventually have these things that bring him joy crushed and taken away from him when peers mock him. 
  • @hakele It's funny you say that because gender stuff is part of why I like having a boy because I don't end up with my family forcing princess garbage and frilly clothing. DH and I would love to have a girl this time, but I cringe at what has come out of both my mom's (which is surprising considering she's always been a tom boy) and my MIL's mouths so far. I think we all face challenges, regardless of what side of the fence we live on. I was talking to DH about this a couple weeks ago how lucky white men are that they never have to spend a moment in their life feeling like they are the sexual property of a collective whole. But then men, they have the challenge of transcending a bunch of garbage too. 
  • I think people bring more attention to gender specific toys and clothes and other stuff than is needed. I think kids are wired the way they are and will play with whatever draws their attention the most regardless of what society thinks is for boys or girls. Same goes with their emotions. 

    I have two boys, and they’re both very rough and tumble, play in dirt kind of kids. I don’t think it has anything to do with them being boys, I think it’s just their personality. One is super sensitive, and the other not so much, and it’s not because I’ve encouraged feelings with one and not the other, it’s just their personality. 

    Just because a boy plays with a doll, doesn’t mean they’ll grow up to be anymore sensitive than a boy who doesn’t. Just as I believe a girl who wears bright pink and frilly dresses will be less empowered than a girl who is a tomboy. 

    More inportant than what toys my kids like or what clothes and colors they’re drawn to, I want to teach them to be kind, compassionate, understanding, and strong individuals. 


    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    cindlerkeebler6elfhakele
  • @nolemomma14 I don't think anyone is talking about trying to grow someone into being more sensitive than they are wired to be, it's more of straying from the "be a man" or "be a lady" bs that is ingrained into society. Boys, specifically, have been taught both consciously and passively not to show their emotions, not to cry, not to seek comfort. We should support our children's' exploration and emotional development without telling them that how they are feeling naturally isn't natural. 

    And onto toys, it does have an affect on children. Boys can be rough and tumble but they can also maintain that without being taught that they have to be big, strong and muscly and beating down bad guys. And girls do not need to be taught to be prim and proper, frilly and girly and subservient. They may naturally be more drawn to calmer or maternal activities but to me that doesn't equate to being a princess or wanting to be like a barbie. It's all marketing that we've fallen victim to.

    And I could go on about this princess royalty glamorizing stuff for days.. historically royalty were essentially dictators and now they are a bunch of boring rich philanthropists who live off of tax dollars that could go to public works in-need or stay in the pockets of the people who work for their money.  
    Cbeanz
  • BTW I'm really enjoying this discussion haha.. sorry if I get a little heated. 
    Cbeanz
  • @mamanbebe I always find discussions on this topic super interesting! 

    I agree that society definitely has its idea of what a normal boy and girl should be. I hope, that my husband and I, have created a home where all of our children know that their emotions, no matter how big or small are totally valid and they should never have to downplay anything. I also hope they know that they are free to play with whatever type of toy they want. I think we have a pretty good variety of toys, and honestly, as long as it isn’t loud or require a million batteries, I don’t care what the toy is! I send the loud toys to the grandparents houses 😂. 

    I’m not a fan of super bright colors or frilly clothes, but this baby is a girl, and I know we will get clothes like that. As long as it’s cute though, I’ll probably still dress her in those things. Just because it’s not my taste, doesn’t mean my daughter won’t prefer bright colors and patterns, and that’s okay. Regardless of what she likes, I will teach her, just like her brothers, that the most important thing is the type of person that they are. That they accept others for who they are, there’s no one size fits all. That we are kind to everyone, work hard, help those in need, etc. 

    I think the types of shows and movies that are out there today are far worst at perpetuating stereo types than toys. I know all of these things will help shape our kids, but I hope that they are more influenced by the values we try to instill in them, and the way they see my husband and I interact with each other, and people outside of our family. 
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    mamanbebe
  • I really like where this conversation has gone this week! My husband and I have decided not to share the gender of our LO for some of these reasons. We hope to at least get to birth before getting inundated with stereotypical gendered things for the baby (I'm hoping that didn't sound ungrateful - that is not my intent). 

    I did read a social media post somewhere from a young woman discussing how her father handles her princess phase. He served as her royal advisor and who approach her with conflicts to solve (ie the bears and the dolls are arguing over use of the yard or something to that effect) so that she would learn what it mean to be in a position of leadership. I thought that was pretty clever. 
    mamanbebecindlerpizzaplzhakele
  • I do think society is getting better about not perpetuating stereotypes, but more so when it comes to girls. 

    I see see a lot of stuff encouraging girls to be strong, get into career fields often associated with men, and I love that, because the playing field is far from even!! We have a long way to go before we reach gender equality. It would also be nice though, if there were ads or campaigns encouraging boys to get more into dance, the arts, things often considered “girly” for no reason at all. I’m sure there are some out there, probably just not super prevelant. 

    I an am hopeful that our generation and our kids’ will do better at not making gender stereotypes as big of a deal as they are now! 
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • @keebler6elf I like that story too!

    @nolemama24 I agree the toy doesn’t make the child. That’s exactly my point. There’s way too much judgment behind it when kids are just who they are no matter what. My niece and nephew were so very different from day 1. I just don’t want my kid to be forced into anything because he’s a boy. I totally agree that it’s about raising a good human. Role play with the dolls and such if he’s interested is just a tool to help him do that. I won’t force dolls on him but if he asks for one, he’s gonna have it lol. 

    @mamanbebe exactly! I do feel like the way kids learn early on is through toys and play. So what toys my son gets will be used to teach him compassion and understanding and dealing with emotions. 
    mamanbebe
  • cindlercindler member
    edited March 2019
    @keebler6elf that story is amazing! That approach could be used in so many ways! A kid who is playing house or a boy who is into army stuff! It's a great idea to teach kids decision making skills young!

    DH and I have talked about putting our daughter into mma and letting her fight I'd she wants. He's into it and I am totally behind the idea. I'd love to see my daughter kick some ass in the octagon some day! I also like that individual sports like that teach you that there are winners and losers and you've got to learn how to do both gracefully. 

    ETA: My UO is that I firmly believe that kids need to lose. The medal for everyone model is BS and doesn't teach anything. I'm not supportive of degrading a losing kid/team, but sending kids into their careers without having suffered and learned how to handle loss is a HUGE mistake.
    mamanbebeindulgentgypsykey33wabash15
  • I will just say that my kids naturally fell into roles that were definitely not "created" for them by us. My son naturally loves firetrucks, construction sites, the color blue...when he was about 1.5 years old he would only wear the color blue and refused anything else. My daughter came, and with all the boy trucks and stuff in the house, she couldn't get enough of the colors pink and purple. We definitely didn't push anything on them. She loves dresses and bows (I hated dresses and bows as a girl)... she definitely has a mind of her own and loves putting on princess stuff and twirling in dresses. 

    Sooo I guess my point is, kids are kids, they come out with minds of their own! 
    keebler6elfnolemomma14erynpdx
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