FFFC 01/04 — The Bump
May 2019 Moms

FFFC 01/04

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Re: FFFC 01/04

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  • @keighty80 I really like going to movies alone. I find it really relaxing. My only issue is if I really like the movie but no one I know has seen it yet, I can't talk to anyone about it lol
    sleepy33keighty80expandcontractknarlytaurus
  • @keighty80 i love going to the movies or out to eat by myself! It's such a treat.
    Me: 33 DH: 34
    Married: Oct 2015
    TTC #1: Sept 2016
    BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
    BFP: 3/24/17   <3  DD1 born 12/2/17
    TTC #2: July 2018
    BFP: 8/26/18 <3  DD2 born 5/16/19



    keighty80
  • Also team dining/seeing movies alone!
    My FFFC: I hate sharing food when eating out. I'm a really slow eater and everyone always finishes before me anyway and by the time I look to get more food on my plate there's usually nothing left :\ I avoid taking as much as I want to not look like a pig but I end up getting the shaft because I pay as much as everyone else and leave hungry. This is particularly true for "girl food" where the portions are tiny and everyone gets one bite and the damn plate costs $15. HATE.
    IUI 08/2013 - natural cycle, BFN
    IUI 10/2013 - Clomid cycle, BFN
    IUI 11/2013 - Clomid cycle, BFN
    IUI 03/2014 - Clomid cycle, BFN
    IUI 05/2014 - Femara + FSH, BFN
    IUI 06/2014 - FSH, BFP! DS born 02/2015

    TTC #2 (and #3)
    W IUI 08/2017 - Femara, BFN
    W IUI 10/2017 - Femara, BFN
    W diagnosed as low AMH
    Me: PCOS
    Myo-Inositol, NAC, prenatals
    IUI 03/2018 - Gonal F - BFN

    INVOcell IVF September 2018 - BFP!!! B/G Twins born 04/2019
    expandcontractbeccaneu
  • @expandcontract my girls do have a bit of a mix of both of us, but they are very much their dad’s girls.  With the eyes and shape of their face.  We moved back to DH’s hometown this past year and it is shocking the number of people who come up to me and ask if I’m his wife just based on how much my kids remind them of him, lol.  Like, they know he’s back in town but haven’t met me or the kids yet.  
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    expandcontract
  • @mcewen3 I think I talked A LOT about DD's hair at the beginning of our BMB, but she has red hair like me. DH is tall with brown hair, brown eyes, and tan skin. DD doesn't have either of our facial features but the red hair and light skin alone make people call her my mini-me. I LOVE DD's hair but feel bad for DH sometimes. We look so different it's basically a 50/50 shot that each kid will look just like him or just like me. As much as I want another red head, I want DH to get some representation.
    mcewen3expandcontractrobyn2201
  • @eatinwatermelonseeds awwww that made me laugh though!! 


    eatinwatermelonseedsknarlytaurus
  • chloe97chloe97 member
    edited January 2019
    @wishiwaspreggo I HATE SHARING FOOD TOO! OMG it drives DH crazy and he always talks about how he is going have to be the one to teach DD how to share b/c I am so bad at it. But this is what will happen- I will order a gyro with extra gyro sauce for my fries. He will use half of my gyro sauce for his own fries. GET YOUR OWN DAMN GYRO sauce if you want it. I think part of our issue stems from the fact that he was an only child for the first 8 years of his life, so he never sat at the dinner table inspecting everyone's plate to make sure he got his fair share of pizza or dessert and never had his older or younger sibling take food from him. Because of the fact I grew up with 3 brothers, there was an unspoken (or maybe spoken rule- I don't remember) that everyone got what was on his/her plate and that was it. Plus my other issue is that DH likes weird food- think duck hearts and rabbit liver etc etc- so he always orders weird shit that I don't want and then wants to take some of my normal food off my plate. NO NO NO. Sharing food must be a 2-way street agreed upon by both parties. Not a given because you want to try something that you did not order. 

    @mcewen3 Do your DH's parents both have brown eyes? If so, I hate to break it to you- but it's very very difficult for any of your kids to have blue eyes according to genetics since that would mean the brown eye gene is dominant. 
    Age 39, H 38

    Married 8/15

    Pregnancy #1, MMC, D&C November/December 2015
    Pregnancy #2, Dx with Triploidy at 12 weeks, MMC, D&C May 2016
    Pregnancy #3 BFP 10/20/2016- EDD 7/01/2017
    DD was born on June 26, 2017
    Pregnancy #4 CP 4/2018
    Pregnancy #5 BFP 9/13/2018, EDD= 5/27/2019
    sleepy33knarlytaurus
  • @wishiwaspreggo I also hate sharing but for the opposite reason! I like to eat (and no one has ever accused me of being a slow eater) and don’t want to take too much, and there’s usually not enough if we share! I think sharing is awkward unless I’m with close family. Like please just let me eat my own meal thanks. 
    chloe97wishiwaspreggo
  • @chloe97 haha DH and I share food a lot - even discuss what we want so we can maximize getting what both people want if we're deciding between a few things. BUT...when I was breastfeeding, I just ordered two meals  :D Now we order 3 regular meals and DD eats some of all of them. I hate kids meals - they're such crap.
    chloe97wishiwaspreggo
  • @wishiwaspreggo I am the exact opposite. I always want my husband to share with me and he eats so fast it’s gone before I get to try it. I trhink he is eating so fast so he doesn’t have to share 😂 Although, I am also a super slow eater also and if I go out with my coworkers it is always a topic of conversation. I like to taste every bite! 
    eatinwatermelonseedswishiwaspreggo
  • @aels12 totally! As long as I get (at least) one full meal, share away. 
    aels12knarlytaurus
  • chloe97chloe97 member
    edited January 2019
    @alexva2017, @kvh22 and @aels12 Oh planned sharing I am totally cool with. DH and I will do that a bunch. What annoys me is when someone else orders something different than you with the plan to share your food without your consent. Or just assumes that your plate is open for them to eat off of at any point. 
    Age 39, H 38

    Married 8/15

    Pregnancy #1, MMC, D&C November/December 2015
    Pregnancy #2, Dx with Triploidy at 12 weeks, MMC, D&C May 2016
    Pregnancy #3 BFP 10/20/2016- EDD 7/01/2017
    DD was born on June 26, 2017
    Pregnancy #4 CP 4/2018
    Pregnancy #5 BFP 9/13/2018, EDD= 5/27/2019
    kvh22alexva2017
  • beccaneubeccaneu member
    edited January 2019
    My husband and I will occasionally share food, normally it situations where we both want to try more then one thing on the menu so one of us will get something and then we will give each other half so we each get roughly the same amount of each dish.  That said we always agree on that prior to ordering, and there are times where one of us says no to it.

    My biggest pet peeve when it comes to dining out with people is when everyone decides, generally after the meal is completed, to split the bill evenly.  It’s almost always a situation where everyone else at the table has had multiple rounds of expensive drinks while I’ve just had water so I end up paying way more then my share of the bill.  I don’t mind treating others to things, but I feel like that’s a decision I should get to make, not have forced on me.  


  • I definitely don't love when someone at the table suggests to just "split a bunch of stuff." No.

    DD looked just like me in the early days and then transformed into DH as she got older. It actually makes me really happy because I used to hate when people would be like "she's all you!" and make it sound like DH had nothing to do with producing this child or worse, like he wasn't even her dad or something. It annoyed me because DH is very hands on with DD and is just awesome with her, so I always felt bad for him whenever someone would make it sound like I got all the credit. I love now when people say she looks just like him.
    Me: 33 DH: 34
    Married: Oct 2015
    TTC #1: Sept 2016
    BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
    BFP: 3/24/17   <3  DD1 born 12/2/17
    TTC #2: July 2018
    BFP: 8/26/18 <3  DD2 born 5/16/19



    beccaneuwishiwaspreggolappymom2019
  • peachy13 said:
    I definitely don't love when someone at the table suggests to just "split a bunch of stuff." No.

    DD looked just like me in the early days and then transformed into DH as she got older. It actually makes me really happy because I used to hate when people would be like "she's all you!" and make it sound like DH had nothing to do with producing this child or worse, like he wasn't even her dad or something. It annoyed me because DH is very hands on with DD and is just awesome with her, so I always felt bad for him whenever someone would make it sound like I got all the credit. I love now when people say she looks just like him.
    100% agree. 
    peachy13
  • @chloe97. I get that it’s definitely easier to just split the bill evenly, especially in situations where the restaurant will not do separate checks, however if that’s going to be the case I feel like it’s something that should be agreed on ahead of time so everyone is at least on the same page on what they are getting themselves into.   I’ve been in situations where the waitress offers to split the checks for everyone at the end of the meal but someone, normally one of the ones that ordered the most, says no and then proceedes to say we are going to split it evenly.  As someone who has frequently been on a very tight budget and the poorest one at the table, intentionally ordering the cheapest thing on the menu only to find myself suddenly having to pay out two to three times the cost of my meal in situations like these, has legitimately put me in tight situations financially before.  Call me cheap, or what have you, but I just can’t always afford to treat others. 🤷‍♀️


    DuchessOfCambridgechloe97
  • @chloe97 - OMG, yes, I HATE it when I order something good and my wife takes half of it!!! Especially when she orders something I KNOW she won't like or will be skimpy and I end up having to eat half of her food. We went to Le Celier at Epcot in Disney, known to be the *best* steakhouse restaurant. Each meal took 2 table credits (we were on the dining plan). Instead of ordering steak, what does my wife order? Vegetarian QUICHE!!!!!! And guess who wanted MY steak? Oof. I still give her shit about that. Oh, and the first time we shared a piece of cake? She SCRAPED THE ICING OFF THE TOP and ate it before I even took a bite! She knows not to do that anymore ;)
    Girl, you must have some rich friends! I've never been asked to do that before :flushed: we usually pay for what we order when going out, especially a nice dinner. I have friends who drink expensive cocktails. No way am I dipping into my wallet for that.

    IUI 08/2013 - natural cycle, BFN
    IUI 10/2013 - Clomid cycle, BFN
    IUI 11/2013 - Clomid cycle, BFN
    IUI 03/2014 - Clomid cycle, BFN
    IUI 05/2014 - Femara + FSH, BFN
    IUI 06/2014 - FSH, BFP! DS born 02/2015

    TTC #2 (and #3)
    W IUI 08/2017 - Femara, BFN
    W IUI 10/2017 - Femara, BFN
    W diagnosed as low AMH
    Me: PCOS
    Myo-Inositol, NAC, prenatals
    IUI 03/2018 - Gonal F - BFN

    INVOcell IVF September 2018 - BFP!!! B/G Twins born 04/2019
    chloe97sleepy33knarlytaurus
  • imrachelleaimrachellea member
    edited January 2019
    @aels12 We do this as well, though usually we each prefer one of the meals and eat more of it. We are cheap, though, so we go that route also when ordering. Like, rather than each get a meal at Chick Fil a we but two entrees and a large fry, then cups for water. Wait... "we're" not cheap, he is, because I'd really rather have my own meal with a soda...But I do alleviate his money saving ways in the long run.

    @mcewen3 So DD1 looks enough like my kid that people say she looks like me (it's the big eyes) until they meet DH and they're like OH no she's totally dad! Meanwhile, DD2 is basically my clone with curly hair. The family joke is we need a paternity test 😆 For this little guy, I'm secretly reeeeeally hoping he's a red head like his dad. Both girls have reddish brown hair, but I want a RED head. My FFFC might be that it annoys me that my SIL has two red headed boys despite red hair only coming on her side of the family, and genetically I carry the gene like DH does but we don't have a true red head yet. I would love love love this baby to come out with a ton of red hair like his daddy 😍
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    mcewen3
  • @beccaneu this is why I love Venmo now.  Now, one person will usually take the whole bill and everyone just pays what they owe immediately  via Venmo.  But before Venmo, ugh. I have definitely avoided big bday dinners for this very reason. 
    beccaneuknarlytaurusDuchessOfCambridge
  • @alexva2017 I was going to mention venmo. Luckily before venmo, when people would recommend splitting evenly, there was usually someone else who was like "umm no I got way less" who was either in a worse financial situation than me or who was just cheap (one friend in particular who I LOVE but she it's true, so whatever). I just never order soda (when younger) or expensive cocktails out and usually would only have one alcoholic drink when others would have more. I am rarely the worse off one in a group and in high school and college money was tight for everyone. Then once Venmo appeared, it became less splitting it evenly and more calculating what you owe which is great. Usually someone gets all excited about the points on their credit card and wants to pay and have everyone venmo them.
    alexva2017
  • @wishiwaspreggo I just live in Chicago (and I know you used to live here so you get it) and when we lived in the city and all my gfs were in their early to mid-30s and either single or just dating and not financially beholden to SOs and making 6 figures- it was always a thing to check out the newest trendy restaurant or cocktail bar b/c these ladies had disposable income. You can literally get cocktails in Chicago that cost hundreds of dollars. Like one actual drink cost like $112. DH and I went to a place like that on our anniversary (the Aviary- google it- it's amazing). We stuck with the $20-30 cocktails, but I am embarrassed to admit how much we spent that anniversary on food and drink, but hey I got knocked up 10 days later and so I consider that my entire alcohol budget for the year! That night out in the city is what we did instead of the trip to Napa we wanted to do for our anniversary that we couldn't do b/c no one was available to watch our kid, so though cheaper than a weekend in wine country, much more expensive than any other night out we've ever had before.   
    Age 39, H 38

    Married 8/15

    Pregnancy #1, MMC, D&C November/December 2015
    Pregnancy #2, Dx with Triploidy at 12 weeks, MMC, D&C May 2016
    Pregnancy #3 BFP 10/20/2016- EDD 7/01/2017
    DD was born on June 26, 2017
    Pregnancy #4 CP 4/2018
    Pregnancy #5 BFP 9/13/2018, EDD= 5/27/2019
    wishiwaspreggosleepy33knarlytaurus
  • @chloe97 - Okay, that definitely makes sense now. I remember those days but I was in my 20's and while I had disposable income, it certainly wasn't 6 figures :D but I do remember going out *all* the time. It was fun. I've heard of the Aviary before, very nice! I don't think there's anything wrong with a big splurge for a special occasion, especially if you got KU immediately afterwards! Great way to kiss alcohol goodbye for 9 months lol
    IUI 08/2013 - natural cycle, BFN
    IUI 10/2013 - Clomid cycle, BFN
    IUI 11/2013 - Clomid cycle, BFN
    IUI 03/2014 - Clomid cycle, BFN
    IUI 05/2014 - Femara + FSH, BFN
    IUI 06/2014 - FSH, BFP! DS born 02/2015

    TTC #2 (and #3)
    W IUI 08/2017 - Femara, BFN
    W IUI 10/2017 - Femara, BFN
    W diagnosed as low AMH
    Me: PCOS
    Myo-Inositol, NAC, prenatals
    IUI 03/2018 - Gonal F - BFN

    INVOcell IVF September 2018 - BFP!!! B/G Twins born 04/2019
    chloe97knarlytaurus
  • @imrachellea i have some strong redhead genes in my family too but no redhead babies :( My aunt told me that the redhead gene is the weakest out of the 3 (blonde, brunette, redhead) so red hair will continue to be less and less common :(  I don’t know how true that is, but her info regarding genetic stuff is usually pretty accurate (doctor).    I’m not a true redhead but definitely have quite a bit of red in my hair.  My dad was a little more red than me and his brother had like, flaming red hair and beard.  <—I say was, they aren’t dead, just both very white now and have been since their late 20s/early 30s.  Thank goodness that gene skipped me 😅  My brother has just plain brown hair that doesn’t appear to have any red in it but if he grows a beard it’s always 100% ginger.  
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  • @imrachellea we do that too for fast food! Half because we’re cheap, half so we can pretend we are sort of healthy by each only having half the fries/ pop. Ha!
  • @mcewen3 @imrachellea It drives me crazy when people assume that DD only gets her red hair from me. I loved freshman bio in high school when we did punnett squares, my family is a super interesting study in the hair and eyes category. Mom has brown hair and brown eyes. Dad has dirty blonde hair with hazel eyes. My brother has blonde hair, blue eyes. I have red hair with hazel eyes. My sister has red hair with brown eyes. For hair, brown trumps blonde which trumps red. To get red hair, you need to have it from both parents. And even though neither of my parents have red hair, because I do (and then my sister but that doesn't really matter), we know they are brown-red and blonde-red and we also know that my brother is blonde-red. There's a great-uncle or grand father or something on DH's side that had a red beard apparently (we didn't know this until after DD). We weren't aware of any red on DH's side but he is obviously brown-red since DD has red hair. I couldn't find a punnett square with a blonde parent and a brunet parent but this might be helpful.

    knarlytaurusalexva2017mcewen3
  • @chloe97 @wishiwaspreggo late to the game because, work, but DH has been suggesting splitting meals at restaurants lately to save money. Butch, I’m pregnant, I’m not splitting shit! I want my own food and you aren’t going to touch it. End of discussion, thank you! 😂😂

    @kvh22 @mcewen3 @imrachellea my MIL keeps bugging me about LO having red hair. DH is definitely a brown-red carrier as his mom has red hair. However, NO ONE in my family has red hair, anywhere. None of my mom’ or dad’s siblings or any of my grandparents or their siblings had red hair so I’m pretty sure it’s impossible at this point. She almost makes it seem like she’s love this child less if it didn’t want red hair. She is way more excited talking about a red-headed granddaughter than just having a granddaughter in general. 🤷🏽‍♀️

    I dont really have a confession this week. I think my last weeks one counts as two. 😂😂
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    wishiwaspreggoknarlytaurussleepy33chloe97
  • @mrskoz428 Families can be carriers of the M1CR gene for many generations and not know it. There's a tiny chance. DH did the 23andMe test (after having DD, just like us finding out about that random great-great-uncle or whatever it was with a red beard) and it showed that he had a 50% more likely than average chance of having a red headed child. I think that's a weird way to display that information rather than just say he's a carrier of the gene but w/e. Anyways, I never thought I'd have a red headed child even though I knew I was passing on a red headed gene because we weren't aware of any on his side. Usually even if you have the gene, your skin is a little lighter since it's tied to the light-skin-and-freckles genetics and DH has olive skin that gets very, very tan. He should NOT have been a carrier by any of our estimations. My brother asked the doctor delivering his son if the baby had red hair when he was crowning. My mom and sister walked into the room later and the doc goes "oh, that's why he asked if it was a red head" (our sister is also a red head - SIL is a brunette as are both her parents so the chances were low like ours, though)  :D
  • @kvh22 I’m sure sure there is the slightest chance. DHs beard is red but his hair is brown. Genetics are weird! It’s really an exaggeration to say impossible, but it’s so slim. I think it’s more her attitude towards it that bothers me. I just want a healthy baby. 🤷🏽‍♀️ 
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  • @mrskoz428 I totally get it. It's weird that she's expressing the sentiment already but you can watch for it later on. I would be mad at MIL for that. I'm sure she'll be so thrilled to have a grandchild once your daughter is here that it will all be fine (fingers crossed). As it is, I only really worry about that type of stuff with kids compared to each other - i.e. so many people are all over DD because of her hair. I can't walk a half a mile with her in the stroller without getting multiple comments about how cute she is and "look at that hair" etc. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't absolutely over the moon she had red hair like me but my concern now is having a brunet daughter who will be compared to her and never get as much attention who ends up resenting her or has some sort of inferiority issue because of it. AND...I've posted before as a FFFC that I don't really want a red headed son as I think it can be hard (especially with hair as red as DD's - mine was strawberry blonde and has faded to auburn). Obviously healthy is the #1 priority and I do think it'd be so cute to have two red headed children regardless of whether this is a boy or girl (we're team green).
    beamama19
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