Announcements! — The Bump
September 2019 Moms


When (how many weeks) and how are you sharing the news with your family, friends, publicly, etc!?

Re: Announcements!

  • /Well we were working with an RE, so immediate family members knew we were trying. I found out over christmas at the in-laws, so hiding it while we went to SEVERAL parties etc was impossible. So our immediate families know plus 2 friends who also went through REs who have helped guide me through my treatments IRL. 

    As for "others" - I'm thinking 12 weeks? Work is the hardest. We gear up for our upcoming yearly planning soon-ish, but I think I can hold out to 12/13 weeks. 
    married 11.1.14
    bfp 12.22.18 letrozole + progesterone
    due sept 2019

  • I’ve told my siblings already, and also told our in-laws (the latter sworn to secrecy as they can have loose mouths and we aren't ready to share with extended family yet). I told my boss bc I have kind of a last minute appt today and expect to have my first ob/gyn shortly after so don't want her to think I'm being flaky. Other than that, I'll probably wait til at least 8-10 weeks to our extended family/friends.
  • edited January 5
    No one knows except my husband and I. Waiting until after our first appointment on January 24th (8 weeks). Hard not to tell my mom, but I don't trust my dad not to spill the beans. And I 100% don't trust my father-in-law. So...we wait.

    The harder part is not telling anyone at work, because some aspects of my work are affected by pregnancy. I control my own work flow so I can avoid it without making it an issue, but it'd be so much easier if I could just tell the truth for why I've been dragging my heels on project X.
  • A bit untraditional here, but  the plan is to tell family and very close friends at 12 weeks, and work and everyone else after the anatomy scan around 20 weeks. This is what we did last time and it worked out well as all our family live so far away, it's easier to keep a secret. People at work I think were a bit suspicious at the end, but no one said anything. 

    There are already some issues with this plan though. I was informed by work that they're making the schedule for next year. So now I'm really struggling on when to tell them. I absolutely don't want to screw over my colleagues. It's a fairly small department and I like everyone. But, I'm also not ready to tell right now. I may compromise and tell them closer to 12 weeks, though I'll still feel horrible if the schedule's been made and this makes everyone need to make changes.
  • @tacos-and-taquitos Sorry about the work sitch. I'm glad you're sticking to what you want for you until you can't avoid telling, though I understand why you might want to have a decent reason for feet dragging!

    @bostonlady-2 I think it being a small department might work to your advantage, as you probably know people well & they'll hopefully be happy for you rather than annoyed about the schedule changes? Some ppl might even wind up w/ better schedules than the original one? & then they'll be really happy for you!

    @VeeMore I think it is brave of you to tell folx w/ loose mouths! I am lucky that my cousin is KU, so I know who talked & who didn't when she told ppl not to tell anyone.

    @chichiphin I've gotten so good at drinking water/sparking water w/ ice & a slice of lime at parties when I don't feel like drinking that no one knew/noticed I was avoiding alcohol recently haha. Or using an opaque cup or something. Also, I played up the things that annoy me about drinking like "ooh wine, I can't do the sulfates" and "beer gives me a stuffy nose!" for why I might have declined those beverages, but you seem at peace w/ the people who know knowing. It looks like 12 weeks seems to be an average for "other ppl," so I'm grateful to be learning about stuff like that here!

    I have told only my Mom so far &... the people I talked to on the phone at my ObGyn office haha. Oh & yall!

    I'm telling DH when we get back home from traveling, & we have our little post-xmas gift opening at home. I have a whole plan. I wanted to tell him when we were definitely alone, and that hasn't been possible during our trip & I don't want to do it over the phone now that I'm away for the conference OR during our drive back bc.. I just don't want to, I want to be at home. I wonder if he suspects? If he knows anything about when AF normally arrives, he might. 

    Not sure yet about telling anyone else, though not telling any large # of friends & fam until-- 12-13 weeks, based on what I've learned. I'll tell my BFF & maybe my cousin who is also KU once DH knows & I've made a list of who I shouldmight tell during first tri before it becomes more common knowledge. 

  • @kagesstarshroom sounds like you've figured out the alcohol sitch. I got "lucky" in that I got terrible food poisoning a few days before we left for the holidays. I could barely stomach anything other than soup and crackers until Christmas day, so no one questioned why I wasn't drinking alcohol. And later in the week we were with my family who are all teetotalers.

    You have amazing impulse control to wait until the right moment to tell your husband! We were watching a show last night where a pregnant woman was keeping it secret from everyone and I told my husband I would have exploded if that was me.

    I wanted to be alone too so I made my husband take a walk with me away from his parents house Christmas morning. I knew I couldn't wait and I was already experiencing some symptoms that I needed his help to hide (major fatigue, some queasiness).
  • My SO and my parents are the only ones I've told. I might tell my MIL, SIL, and brothers after my 8wk appt once I'm convinced there's an actual growing embryo in there, but planning to wait at least 12 wks to tell the rest of the world.  I'm going to a work party at a bar tomorrow and if I get called out, I plan on using the Dry January excuse. 
  • My first appointment is January 24th so definitely not telling until then. I ideally want to wait until I have my first u/s but I'm not sure when that will be. My Ob group merged with a different health care manager so they are doing things a little differently. 
    BFP #1: 3/2012; EDD 11/2012; MMC and D&C 5/2012
    BFP #2: 10/2012; EDD 7/2013; DS born 6/2013 @ 37 weeks due to IUGR
    BFP #3: 10/2012; EDD 6/2015; DD born 6/2015
    BFP #4: 1/2019; EDD 9/14/2019

  • kdl89kdl89 member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    We just ordered this shirt for our little one. It's how we are going to tell our families baby #2 is on the way.

  • The shirt is a little big, but maybe he will grow into it before the baby comes!

    This is the announcement we used for my siblings. (They all live far away from us, so we just messaged them). 
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  • I found out very early this time, on 12/19, so we shared with our parents and siblings on Christmas. We wrote the gift tag "To: grandma and grandpa Love, Baby #2 (Due Sept. 2019)." It was awesome and everyone was really shocked/excited! We will start sharing with others around 12 weeks though. 
  • Ive told my mom and a few other people who I know won’t spill the beans. My father would tell everyone within five mins so he doesn’t get to find out until 12 weeks. I’ve had a miscarriage at 11 weeks. So I’m not telling everyone till then. It is really hard to not tell people. I’ve been having to make sure that my father doesn’t get suspicious. 
  • I tell my parents, my siblings, MIL and DH’s grandma. I wait until 12 weeks usually to announce on social media and tell extended family. 
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  • I told my mom, dad, and brother the same day I took the test. We are planning on telling my husbands family at 8 weeks, and everyone else around 12 weeks.

    We have a birthday party for my husband’s aunt this weekend at a bar, so I’ll have to figure out how to not raise suspicions. Any tips are welcome 😉
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  • blitzybeeblitzybee member
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited January 11
    @aliciac2008 My husband or I will usually sneak away from the group and talk to the server or bartender and with a wink ask them to give me a drink that looks like alcohol, without the alcohol. My fav was usually just a soda water with lime. Bartenders usually have fun with it:) ask them to be smooth, and give you your own tab!
  • I told my 3 closest lady friends (1 is actually pregnant right now) and one of my coworkers because we're working on a massive project right now and I have been a hot mess with terrible migraines this week. My parents both live in different states, but my dad is going to be in town next weekend so I am going to have him come over for dinner with my in laws and tell them all at once. My mom's birthday is Jan 19, so I am going to Facetime her for her birthday and tell her. The only other person I will tell pre-12 is my aunt. We are ridiculously close and if I tell my mom I have to tell her.

    I will hold out as long as I can with my boss *TW because she had several failed rounds of IF treatments and I am not sure how this is going to go END TW* but with the extra migraines I've been having I am not sure how long I can hold out before she gets suspicious.
  • I've told my mom and sister. I am going to wait until at least 12 weeks to tell anyone else. I have a lot of trouble hiding my facial expressions though, so I am sure I'll slip to friends and family before then lol. 

    Me: 29 │ DH: 34 
    TTC #1 since 12/16
    MMC dx @ 11w 6/18

  • @kgg2241 I am also in the "barely anyone knows club," but I don't live near close friends & family, as I'm a grad student in a galaxy far far away from home haha. However, I will say, even though you are bad at hiding facial expressions, you can probably come up with something else to explain them?! Esp. if you plan what you might say? I am a terrible liar, which is why my plan to tell DH ultimately failed bc he str8 asked if I were KU/when my period was due, lol. But I hope not too many people will straight ask you--and then you can hem and haw about something else until you're ready. =)
  • @kagesstarshroom good plan. I'm seeing my girlfriends tomorrow for a baby shower and I know I'll be awkward lol. Luckily I have a job interview this week (fx triple crossed bc they have paid maternity leave!) so I can just tell that is on my mind if I seem weird. 

    Me: 29 │ DH: 34 
    TTC #1 since 12/16
    MMC dx @ 11w 6/18

  • @kgg2241 Good luck at the baby shower! You can do it! I feel like I would be taking notes on my phone about products & when people asked what I was doing I'd be like "NOTHING. *closes notes app* *opens twitter*" :D I will say, the DESIRE to tell everyone, though, is real. But my realist/cautious self seems to keep winning. But oh wow, do I want to shout it. 
  • @kgg2241 good luck with your job interview!!
    married 11.1.14
    bfp 12.22.18 letrozole + progesterone
    due sept 2019

  • We’ve told close friends and some family. Probably won’t tell work until confirmed/second trimester. Honestly, I want my close people in life to know so that if a loss happens we can be open about it and have their support/love. And for them to also know to stop asking the most annoying question on earth “so when are you getting pregnant again” 🙄🙄🙄
  • @aliciac2008 you can play it up in many ways! Either have a convo with the bartender, or just order sprite with a lime, or sometimes I'll ask for OJ with a splash of Grenadine, or some ginger ale in a wine glass... I even hid it from my friends at a wedding where they asked to try my drink and they were like "Oh my gosh that is soooo deadly! It tastes so good!" I mixed like OJ, splash of cranberry and a spritz of sprite. Gotta love it! 

    I don't want to tell anyone until at least 12 weeks when there's a greater chance of viability. The frustrating part is that my family all lives not he East Coast and I likely won't see them until closer to 16-18 weeks so I might be really popping' by then... and DH's family may see me before then and find out soooooo we will have to play it smart somehow.
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  • Good suggestions @sunshine2417 and @blitzybee.  Your story reminds me of all those shows where the kids are unknowingly drinking non-alcholic beer and they think they are getting trashed.

    Unfortunately it's pretty uncommon to see me with any drink other than a beer (Pacific Northwest craft beer lover here). I'm thinking I might just say we have a friend's party after so I want to take it easy there? I think my husband is not going to drink in solidarity with me so that might help convince people. 
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  • We are telling my parents and my mil today. I know she will be super excited as she has been battling bone cancer this past year and just went into remission. 
    I want to have some support *knock on wood* just in case. 
    I will have to tell one of the girls in my office around 10 weeks because we have a company banquet. The two of us have been planning how exactly to pre game and get the most drinks possible. I’m pretty sure I can hide it from everyone else there just not her. 
    I will tell everyone else after a confirmed 2 trimester 
  • @aliciac2008 you could also just get a beer to hold and casually have DH take some sips or dump a little down the drain or into another cup! Just whatever you do... don't say you're on antibiotics! Either that will prompt more questions, or people will knooooow! lol
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  • @marebear15 That outfit is darling. Where did you get it?
  • I told DH first then I told my best friend because she’s had 3 pregnancies resulting in two babies plus a set of twins. She’s basically a pro at this haha. I told my mom yesterday because I was nervous/upset/worried and called her crying from work. We will probably tell DH’s parents next week after I have another follow up at the doctor. I can’t WAIT to see what my MIL says because my sister in law is pregnant with twins and due about two months before me. 
  • @mysticsiren624 I'm not sure what to do about telling my parents because my dad is the same way as yours. He would NOT be able to keep in his excitement!
    @kgg2241 were you able to keep it under wraps at the shower? And I hope the job interview went well!
    @marebear15 cute outfit! 
    @klpv415 moms are the best. Keep us updated on your MIL's reaction!

    My close friend/coworker actually found out before DH did. I got a BFP on a digital but wanted to wait until it was confirmed by a blood test. DH wasn't home so I immediately called my friend (he knows we've been TTC) freaking out. My doctor called this morning at work, but I was in the middle of teaching and couldn't answer. I was too afraid to read the voicemail transcript so I sent my phone to my friend's classroom to check for me :lol: . When DH came home, I had our dog in a bandana I made. I always call him "baby doge," and H always says he's a full grown doge. Now he's going to be a big brother! H didn't get it right away; he thought I had made the bandana just for fun. I took a video of the whole thing, and H's face when it finally dawns on him is priceless!

  • @themadcamel Yes, luckily! I don't think any one suspected a thing. Your dog is so cute and I love how you told DH. That is adorable. 

    Me: 29 │ DH: 34 
    TTC #1 since 12/16
    MMC dx @ 11w 6/18

  • @keikilove - Amazon! However I'm not terribly happy with the quality or the fit. It's kind of that shiny cheap fabric and it fits her well enough around, but the sleeves are baggy and the pants were way too long. Oh well, it worked for it's purpose and maybe she can wear it to daycare once we announce to the world.
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  • crs89crs89 member
    Seventh Anniversary 100 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    I'm starting to get the feeling we've been very loosed-lipped about this pregnancy! LOL. We've told my parents, DH's parents, my brother, DH's sister, my 4 closest friends, DH's coaching friends, and I've told my teaching team.  The last one I hope I don't regret because I don't want to tell my actual school until later. Long story short, I am currently teaching K under a maternity leave opening and it ends in May, then I will be interviewing for a new position. I'd love to stay in this district but I haven't decided whether to tell my interviewers that I'm pregnant or not.  I don't want to seem dishonest after I receive a position and then tell them that I'll need maternity leave 2 months into the next school year, or if honesty is the best policy.  I work in a school full of women so I don't think they would not hire me because I'm pregnant.....but I'm just not sure. 

    But I'm with you @Doggiedoc2016 , **TW I've had a previous miscarriage, happened at 10w but we didn't find out until just after 12 weeks, so we had actually just finished telling everyone. end TW** But having already told everyone ended up being a blessing in disguise because everyone was so supportive and understanding.  I also found out just how common it was and I didn't feel so alone in it.  I think that's a big reason we are telling everyone so quickly. 

    Me: 29  H: 30
    Married: 4/27/13 
    BFP: 9/16/2014 * EDD: 5/25/2015 * M/C: 10/29/14 @ 10w2d 
    BFP: 1/25/2015 * EDD: 9/27/2015 * DS: 10/3/15
    BFP: 1/13/19 * EDD: 9/28/2019

  • @crs89 That must be a hard decision to make. Isn't it illegal for someone to not hire you because you're pregnant? Not to say they might not find "some other reason" to not hire you, but I would like to think the best in people, so hopefully it wouldn't matter to them. 

    I'm trying to decide if I should tell my piano studio families or not. I have about 40 piano students and I push myself pretty hard in the evening teaching them all and fitting my own practicing in. I'm concerned I might have to miss a random lesson here or there due to the pregnancy. Or I'll need to excuse myself 3 times in one lesson to use the restroom. Or race off to go throw up.

    I kind of want to tell them because people are always waaaaay more understanding if you explain you're pregnant and not just being flaky. But I also really wanted to wait until 12 weeks to tell people. 
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