Ask a STM+ January — The Bump
July 2019 Moms

Ask a STM+ January

Please ladies, share your wisdom!
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Re: Ask a STM+ January

  • A question posed by @Panaceia in the randoms thread got me thinking. I'm very overwhelmed with the "stuff" side of having a baby. I have only 6 onesies and nothing more. Do you have any baby steps (pun intended) to help ease into buying stuff baby will need? Any suggestions on what to buy first and what to wait on?

    Let's assume there will be no baby showers for us, so we'll be buying it all.
    nopegoatPanaceia
  • @cindler I remember you saying you want to be pretty minimalist, I'd say go with it 100%. Maybe start looking out for a good deal on the car seat you want, a carrier, whatever your baby is going to sleep in (crib, bassinet, pack n play, etc). Diapers and wipes are sometimes sent home by the hospital and are easy to pick up from the store anyway. For clothes.. I'll be getting some socks, mittens (they scratch their faces), a couple swaddle blankets, some tees but it'll be hot here so not much is needed. 
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    Lilypie Maternity tickers


    nopegoatPanaceiaanomasqrl
  • cindler said:
    A question posed by @Panaceia in the randoms thread got me thinking. I'm very overwhelmed with the "stuff" side of having a baby. I have only 6 onesies and nothing more. Do you have any baby steps (pun intended) to help ease into buying stuff baby will need? Any suggestions on what to buy first and what to wait on?

    Let's assume there will be no baby showers for us, so we'll be buying it all.
    Swaddle blankets were the best thing with a newborn. Definitely find some stiff ones (they’re easier to fold). 

    The boppy was SUPER helpful while nursing, but not necessarily needed because you can use a pillow as well. 

    The baby won’t use the crib for a while (at least ours wasn’t in her crib until about 6.5 months.) The rock-n-play was one of the only things we could get her to sleep in besides our arms. That thing really helped allow us to sleep peacefully, and she was still in our room so my anxiety was super low. 

    If if you plan on breastfeeding, get some lanolin. The first 2-3 weeks was terrible, and I wanted to give up so many times. But she eventually got the hang of it. But to help sooth those sore, cracked nipples, lanolin was amazing. Also, the Bamboozie bra inserts are so much better/softer than the disposable cotton ones. 

    Ummmm, I’m sure I could think of more, but for a newborn, that’s what we used the most. 
    nopegoatPanaceiaindulgentgypsy
  • nopegoatnopegoat
    Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its
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    edited January 3
    As far as clothes go, it depends on how often you want to do laundry. We keep the AC pretty high and live in Texas so my babies stay naked basically till it gets a bit cool out. I do go through a good bit blankets though which I use constantly to keep sun off, cover up if I'm nursing, or if the baby does get a chill. Muslin blankets are the best for summer babies! Babies spit up, have blowouts, and random wet leaks a good bit it's easy to go through 3 outfits plus a day. I hate laundry which is why naked babies it is. 

    Basic needs: a place to sleep, something to eat, something to poop/pee in, and a carseat. 

    I would suggest NOT stocking up on diapers and wipes. You don't know how big/little your baby will be and it sucks getting stuck with a ton of diapers that are too little. And certain brands of wipes/diapers don't always agree with your baby's tush. If you want to stock up in some way I suggest buying gift cards instead and saving them for diapers/wipes only.

    Swing or bouncer is nice to be able to put the baby down in a safe spot. We had a combo last time and it was a huge spacesaver. 

    Bath seat/tub. I like the seats a little bit better than the tubs also for space saving. 

    Thermometer, gas drops, butt cream, lotion, and nail clippers are all good to have on hand in the beginning as well. 

    There's a good book which I can't recall the name of right this second, which goes through and reviews baby gear and weeds out crap you don't need. I'll edit post when it comes to me. 

    ETA I think the book is called Baby Bargains..





    literatureandinkmamanbebeasupernovablizzardstormPanaceia
  • Question for the mommas: When did your lower back start hurting? Mine has just started hurting. I'm fine when I'm laying down or walking but when I'm commuting for 2 hours and then sit at my desk for 8 hours it starts really straining.What do you do to remedy it?
    TTC #1 V. 2.0 since April 2018
    Me: 35; PCOS w/regular cycles since losing 100+ lbs
    BFP - 10/25/18 - EDD 7/8/19




    Panaceia
  • Mine has already started hurting too @literatureandink. Partly because of all the shifting, changes, and pressure and because I can see a huge change in my posture when pregnant.

    Warm showers, Tylenol, stretches, and trying to move/change positions as much as possible. Mostly just deal with it though as these things only help mildly.



    Panaceia
  • @nopegoat I'm thinking about asking my company to get me a standing desk so I can alternate sitting and standing. Sitting in one position basically all day is killing me. I don't know how you do it with physical labor and four kids! 

    PS I would come watch your boys during birth but we might be in the hospital at the same time lol
    TTC #1 V. 2.0 since April 2018
    Me: 35; PCOS w/regular cycles since losing 100+ lbs
    BFP - 10/25/18 - EDD 7/8/19




  • @literatureandink I have a standing desk and love it! I've been sitting a little more than usual lately because of the first tri fatigue, but it really helps me stretch out my hip flexors. I think the new spider veins on my ankles came from using the standing desk though :/
    Lilypie Maternity tickers
    literatureandink
  • @cindler Have you checked out kids consignment SALES in your area (not consignment STORES). They usually happen between February and April - sometimes depends on the area of the country/weather - and again in the fall. It is a GREAT place to pick up basics for babies and many items have barely been used!

    I am glad to do some research for you if you want to post your city (promise I'm not a creeper - just a nut for a deal!). Many sales offer a first-time mom/pregnant mom pass so you can shop before the public! If you want to do your own research, just google 'Seattle children's consignment sales' (or wherever you live). Some keep their websites up to date and some rely more on their FB pages, so it's good to poke around. :) 
    indulgentgypsy
  • @nerdtoyourmother I've heard about the consignment sales, but it appears the closest ones on the site i was looking at are 3-4 hours away. If you're a deal hunter go for researching on my behalf! I've already posted I'm in North Platte, Nebraska so the cat's out of the bag if I want to stay hidden lol.
  • @literatureandink I don't remember having back pain during my pregnancy but I do remember having labor pains in my back and it was the worst. 

  • @cindler this is my 2nd and I'm overwhelmed as well. I'm only buying right now if it's a really good deal on something cute. Like the moccs were free just pay s&h. I got a couple of carriers Bogo free. And some clearance gender neutral clothes from Target for less than 5 bucks. 

  • @cindler We were VERY minimalist with DD and honestly never missed any of the things we didn't have.

    We bought a crib, car seat, stroller, Ergo, bathtub, thermometer, 2 sleep sacks, 2 nb size sleepers, and 5 0-3 Month sleepers. Oh and a bouncy seat that DD hated and never used and that we didn't need. That was it. 

    We didn't swaddle or use a pacifier, no change table, no high chair, no bassinet. At around 4 months we bought an exersaucer that DD LOVED and a cool mist humidifier that I wish we would have had to start with. I used a nail file for her nails.

    We picked up diapers, wipes and clothes as needed so that we only bought what we needed.

    This time we're not buying anything else other than a Halo bassinet (I'll be a RCS so I want it for the first few weeks) and a convertible car seat (we're skipping the infant seat since I HATED it and so did DD). I did buy 3 summer onesies as DD was a January baby so we don't have small summer clothing. Other than that we're just reusing whatever we have from DD. 
    cindlerindulgentgypsy
  • @literatureandink my back was bad a few weeks ago but now it's my hips. They hurt SO MUCH! They did NOT hurt this early on with DD. I bought a Snoogle at the recommendation of the lovely ladies here but my DD claimed it for herself and sleeps in it like a nest now so I've ordered another one. I'm hoping it helps! My back was terrible with DD though. I went to the chiropractor constantly until I didn't feel comfortable getting adjusted anymore. I had to start going back after delivery again as my back went out when DD was a few months old:/
    indulgentgypsy
  • key33key33
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
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    @cindler - Look into Mom 2 Mom sales in your area. Most schools hold them in spring/summer. Huge deals, we have tons in our area and you can get clothes that look brand new for $1 - $2 dollars. I've got a bouncer for $10, jumparoo for $25 everything in new condition. 

    I  have sold a lot of kids clothing and baby stuff at them myself. Super helpful for clothes and shoes for tiny growing humans, who outgrow things within months!
    Bear14+
  • My first was a July baby and he lived in a onsie and muslin blanket. For night time, the pajama gowns made diaper changes much easier! We used the gerber cloth diapers as burp cloths. Way more absorbent than any of the cutesy designed ones. 

    Car seat, crib, bouncy chair and stroller were probably our most used items. 
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    Panaceiacindler
  • I think cribs are a waste of money...you can get this one for $108 and save yourself a lot of money. It looks just like the more expensive ones! My kids have always chewed on the rails and all that! I've always wanted to invest in a big kid bed anyway, my 4 year old just got bunk beds! 





    mamanbebePanaceiaCbeanzcindler
  • Stm+ who've had a repeat cesarean. When do they normally schedule them? I just had my 2nd appt yesterday and forgot to ask. Bc I'm due close to the holiday, this would be a factor in deciding if I want a repeat or try natural. Also dd came 4 days before her EDD, would that also be a factor in the date they chose? 

  • @asupernovablizzardstorm For my sister, they scheduled her RCS around 39 weeks and she got to pick the day. I think if you want to do trial of labor after C, it depends on the provider. Some will only let you go to 39-40 weeks before scheduling the RCS, some will allow you to go past your due date. And I wouldn't think a holiday should be a factor since there should always be an on-call doctor from your practice 365 days/year. 
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  • @asupernovablizzardstorm I asked at my last appointment.  They said they usually schedule them about a week before the due date.  However, there is some wiggle room.  I am due July 14th.  I really don't want it July 5th, because I'm afraid most of the hospital will be taking a long weekend. The doctor said depending on how things are going, we can schedule it for that Monday.
  • @mamanbebe although it's not right, you'd be surprised how many stories I've heard of doctors pushing to do a CS before a holiday so they won't be called in. Even making it elective on a first pregnancy. 
  • @Bear14+ Goodness, I'd pick a new doctor. At my old practice, the different doctors had scheduled surgery days and then their on-call rotations, but there were also 6 female doctors in the rotation, who you all got to know. When we scheduled my CS we just worked it into my OB's surgery day. I realize that's probably not super common though. 
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  • CbeanzCbeanz
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its
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    @cindler I love your question about "stuff."  Newborn babies need so little "stuff."  When they're inside your body all they need is warmth, nourishment and safety. When they're outside, they still need warmth, nourishment and safety - and very little else.  New moms get marketed to in a ruthless way, because we don't know what we need and we're willing to do anything (spend any amount) for our babies. Most people buy way more than they ever need.

    Car seat
    Somewhere to sleep (Pack n Play, cardboard box, dresser drawer)
    Couple blankets and onesies
    Diapers
    Formula or breastmilk

    That will get you through the first 6 months probably!  And you can figure out what else you need as you need it.
    Panaceiacindlermnkennedpizzaplz
  • Thanks to everyone who addressed my stuff anxiety! I'm feeling more like I can avoid all the stuff and raise a minimalist baby to fit our minimalist life. Thank goodness LO is coming in the summer! It'll be nothing but onesies for as long as I can make it last!
    Panaceia
  • @cindler DD was a January baby and still lived in onesies. And honestly DD was in the Ergo attached to me almost all the time so we didn't really need stuff. Her favourite toys were whatever was in the kitchen cupboard. 
    cindlerfrenchbaby18
  • @asupernovablizzardstorm My OB told me she would be scheduling the c section between 38-39 weeks due to my HBP/pre-e from the previous pregnancy. So I’m guessing the week of June 23rd-July 6th. Unless something happens with elevated proteins in my urine (had to do the 48 hr pee test last time) that’s when I’ll be delivering. I think it’s really on a case by case situation. 
  • @mamanbebe @ketomommy @jenniferjoy37 thanks ladies! My OB gave me the choice since I'm good either way. It's just a family member birthday I would like to avoid that's around 39 weeks. I have a while to decide so that's good. 

    mamanbebe
  • Has anyone been on progesterone shots to prevent preterm labor? I had my DD at 36 weeks and my OB suggested starting the shots at 16 weeks.
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  • tsa208tsa208
    500 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    Cbeanz said:
    @cindler I love your question about "stuff."  Newborn babies need so little "stuff."  When they're inside your body all they need is warmth, nourishment and safety. When they're outside, they still need warmth, nourishment and safety - and very little else.  New moms get marketed to in a ruthless way, because we don't know what we need and we're willing to do anything (spend any amount) for our babies. Most people buy way more than they ever need.

    Car seat
    Somewhere to sleep (Pack n Play, cardboard box, dresser drawer)
    Couple blankets and onesies
    Diapers
    Formula or breastmilk

    That will get you through the first 6 months probably!  And you can figure out what else you need as you need it.

    If you have Amazon Prime, anything you need will be there in 2 days (I use the crap out of Amazon Prime!). It can help keep down on investing in too much stuff too early.
    Pregnancy Ticker
    cindler
  • Colic. What is it, exactly? If DH and I were both colicky babies, do we have an increased chance of LO being colicky? 
  • @cindler it’s intense periods of prolonged crying. Sometimes it’s because of trapped gas bubbles, reflux and other times there’s really not a specific reason. I don’t believe your baby would be more prone to it just because you and DH had it. My first didn’t have it, and my second son cried incessantly until he was about 3 months. The crying is most common in the evenings, but can happen at any time of the day really
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    mnkenned
  • @cindler - what nolemamma14 said. Defined as 3 hours of inconsolable crying or more per day, usually starts around 3 weeks and ends around 3 months. Some people attribute it to a GI cause (you will see some pediatricians recommend reflux treatment or probiotics) but overall the cause is unknown. DD had it and it was terrible...she would literally scream nonstop from 7-11 pm every night. I don't know of a genetic link, though.
    ---
    For you STMs out there who have potty trained, how long did it take you? We are on day 1 and 1/6 in the potty. I'm so. exhausted.

  • @mnkenned I introduced the potty at 18m and did stand up changes from then onward with pull-ups and occasional potty success. At 3yo I stopped buying diapers cold turkey and switched to thick training undies. It took 2 days before he got the hang of it. At 4.5 he still has the occasional accident if he’s engrossed in an activity and forgets to go right away. 
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    mnkenned
  • @mnkenned we potty trained at 2.5 and did 3 days of no clothes. He did pretty well with that. After that, we stuck with underwear. He probably had an accident a week, for about a month, but i think sticking with the underwear really helped him realize we weren’t going back to diapers. 
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    mnkenned
  • @mnkenned DD potty trained right around 2 years old because to start at her school, she had to be potty proficient. It was not an easy task, but she was ready for it. It included lots of toys from Target and candy. She even night trained herself at the same time, I was really impressed. 

    DS was trained sometime between 2.5 and 3 and it was because he got a new teacher at school who insisted all the kids needed to wear underwear to school. She was magic and he was trained about a week later. He wore pull-ups to bed until a few months before he turned 4. 
    mnkenned
  • @mnkenned we are on week two with my 2.5 year old boy. We have some great days and some not so good days. It took a solid 4-5 days before I felt comfortable with a quick outing to the grocery store. We have gone out a few places now and he actually hasn't had any accidents when we've been away (one in the car but I had a puppy pad on his carseat). All of his accidents have been at home. What helps the most is when he is naked on the bottom and setting  timer for every 20-30 minutes. I tell him its potty time and to see if he has to go. This has worked a lot better than at first when I kept asking him "do you have to go potty?". We are too far in now to go back to diapers, but I see it being another few weeks until he is fully "trained". Hang in there!!! Give it a week to see how it goes and if you have to stop and try again in another month or two there's no shame in that!
    mnkenned
  • We are doing much better today! One pee in the potty right after sitting down to try and one almost accident where she was able to finish on the potty. She will only wear dresses so I have her naked under that. I'm much more hopeful today but we haven't had a poop yet :-/ im hoping tomorrow we can do a quick trip to pick out some underwear. Nervous about back to daycare - I'm going to keep her home tomorrow I think since I have the day off and keep working at it
    ccmama3mamanbebe
  • @mnkenned poops are a challenge for sure. DS would hold poops because he didn't want to do them on the potty, but eventually he got the hang of it. The pediatrician recommended giving them rewards or distractions on the potty. We rewarded with chocolate sometimes, or gave him sound books to "read". Mr Rogers has a great episode about the potty where he talks about having a cup of pennies as a kid that he would sit in the bathroom with and drop into the cup to keep his mind occupied. 
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  • We potty trained dd around 2.5. She really wanted to do ballet and the kiddos have to be potty trained before classes start. So that was motivation for her. We also did a reward sticker chart right in front of the potty. Everytime she went potty she got to put a sticker on her chart. At every triangle point she got a prize. 

    mnkenned
  • Has anyone been a bridesmaid within 6 months of giving birth? I’m in a wedding about 5 months after giving birth and don’t have a clue how to plan for my body. 
    (I’m already larger so my goal weight gain is 10-15 lbs from starting weight)
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