Yesterday I started the "teach your child to read" book, and today DS remembered and recognized the sounds we learned yesterday and he was SO proud of himself. Honestly I don't even care if we end these lessons with him reading, the confidence he's gaining in just a freaking day is enough to keep doing it.
I’m just here to say DD had a fit at me that the underwear she picked out today is purple and not pink. She loves pink. It’s not my fault. We push bright colored things on her and she friggin loves pink. She also loves green, but pink has become her favorite... I refuse to have pink walls in my house, so her big girl room is going to be painted green. 🤷🏻♀️
I ate ramen noodles for dinner and I’m not even feeling bad about it. I added vegetables and hot sauce, does that make it better? All I want are tacos. 😭 Stupid New Years resolution to not eat out as much!
@poshspice I compromised with a very muted pink for the girls bedroom. Its called Faint Blush and is almost white. It will be super easy to paint over when we are done with pink. The one they had originally picked was called Glamour and it was INTENSE.
My DD1 is all about all things hyper-feminine, and I'm not a super girly-girl, so I don't really know where it came from, but she is all about all things pink and sparkly and beautiful, always wants to wear fancy dresses, refuses to wear jeans, etc. DD2 is much less extreme.
@mcewen3 I actually did pick up some pink swatches, but we just can’t do it. DH also just started talking seriously about moving to Portland next spring (we’re in CA currently), so we want a color that won’t be super off-putting to buyers if we’re actually going to sell soon. The green we're probably going to use is also super super light - almost white so I don’t think it will be polarizing! 🤞
My son has an easy bake oven, and a play kitchen. When he broke his leg at 2, he chose bright hot pink for his cast (see pic). He watches GBBS with me, but also loves Legos, Transformers, Power Rangers and other 'boy' things. I tried hard never to let him think that anything was just for boys or girls.
My son is 100% boy despite introducing him to "girl" stuff periodically. He holds dolls by the leg and swings them around and then drops them to play with his trains. He's an engineer and a perfectionist, and has very masculine traits. He's being raised by two women. Sometimes nature is just ingrained. He was outside looking at our car where we hit a curb and he said "Mommy, it's broken. It's okay, I fix it for you." And he proceeded to try to push it back into place. Every. Single. Man. who has ever seen our car has tried to fix the bumper. Men and cars. I don't get it. The only thing I like about my car is that it gets me where I need to go comfortably and safely. Otherwise, ZERO fascination. Oh, and my mother in law bought a new car recently and my son saw it, ran to it, and exclaimed, "Mommy, it has NEW TIRES!" as if that was the coolest thing ever. Really, kid? lol
So if my daughter is a total girl and loves pink and make-up and heels and handbags I don't really care. It's more that I don't want messages of silence, obedience, subservience, sweetness, and external pressure to please everyone foisted on her. Same with negative body image. I'll do what I can to shield her from that but I'll happily take her to get pedicures and browse the shoe aisles if that's what she's into.
I actually do the same thing for my son with toxic masculinity. I don't buy him shirts that say "tough" or "fighter" or anything that encourages violence.
@sleepy33 I do the same. It's actually funny because his interests go from so over the top stereotypical boy (cars, dinos, Pokemon) to Frozen, my little pony. When the Frozen lunchbox came about, I forgot to put his name on it, and his bus driver was certain it wasn't his because he always carried Pokemon and wore dinosaurs. She and the daycare provider were trying to figure out where he got it. I put his name on it the next day 😂 I get him what he wants. Though, I did draw the line at pink glittery shoes. Kids are mean, and he was already getting a little kickback from older kids for having painted toe nails lol. This stuff drives my husband crazy, but it's fun to watch him.
When I was pregnant H wouldn't even let me buy yellow clothes for DS because they were "girly" 🙄 so you can imagine his face when I brought home the Frozen lunchbox and painted DS's toenails. But DS was SO thrilled that H got excited with him and it was never an issue. It was sweet. My big "He-man" turned puddle of mush for his baby 😂
@sleepy33 - awwww poor buddy! You're a good mama - nothing worse than when a parent tells their kid "that's for girls/boys" as a reason to not let them have something they want.
@eatinwatermelonseeds MLP is just legit a great show haha. I crocheted DS a Pinkie Pie when he was little. He did go through a brief phase (coming from his classmates at school) of saying something was a 'girl thing' or a 'boy thing' but I always just replied that anyone can play with or like whatever they want, and it seemed to pass pretty quickly. Pink glittery shoes would've been kind of amazing, not even gonna lie I think DS was still little enough when he had his cast that the only response he got was awwwwww. It's kinda sad that once they reach a certain age it's like they're expected to fit the mold and give up certain kinds of whimsy.
@eatinwatermelonseeds - My son tried to get me to buy him a pair of Doc McStuffins shoes but I refused because 1) he doesn't even know who Doc McStuffins is and 2) they were high top shoes, which I know he hates because he doesn't like his ankles confined. He liked that they were sparkly and lit up so I guided him towards Paw Patrol shoes with similar features and open ankles.
But good news, ladies! I work with college students and I know plenty of straight young men who paint their nails, carry floral backpacks, and rock pink shirts/ties/shoes. The generation emerging now is much more open-minded than ours, and I think if we raise them all right we can guide our kids to change the gender norms so they can be/do what they want without getting shit for it.
@sleepy33 I took DS to a military hospital and as we were walking through, he had his bright pink frozen lunchbox in one hand and a big iron Man action figure in the other. It was funny the responses. Men closer to our age would smile at him as they walked by, but much older men would scowl. I'm just like "hey, this is a well balanced kid, look at him" 😂 but I agree, it sucks they have to fit a mold. I think DS "gets away" with some things because he's a little behind and still sounds like he's younger when he talks. But I mean, I can't imagine talking to this kid who is freaking THRILLED about mlp and going "that's for girls" 🙄 I got so mad when he came home from daycare telling me I couldn't do things because they were "boy" things or he couldn't do things because they're "girl" things. And my friend's daughter told him he couldn't play with her Barbies because they're for girls. We squashed that quick. I hate that. My mom actually told me once that I was going to "make him gay" because I wanted to put him (at less than 2 years, mind you) in dance classes. Excuse me, what? Can I have a list of all the things that'll "make him gay?" 🙄 idiot. I think I actually said "oh, cool, I'll have another son!" 😂 I try to just brush it off as a different generation, but it's annoying. Let my kid like what he likes.
@sleepy33 The last time I ordered sushi, they gave me THREE sets of chopsticks
The whole boys reach for the stars/girls are sweet stuff infuriates me to no end. I just threw out a onesie that my SIL got us for DD's birthday that said 'Sorry boys, dad says I can't date until I'm 30' I hate being wasteful with free stuff, and gifts especially, but wut kind of message is that? That your dad owns you until your 30? That your primary concern at age 2 is dating?
@eatinwatermelonseeds That is so ridiculous. The hockey club in our town recently made a rule that kids couldn’t start hockey until they passed their Level 2 of CanSkate. CanSkate is run by the figure skating club and it is insane the amount of parents (especially dads and grandparents) who are pissed and have tried to fight this rule. Like first of all, CanSkate is a “learn-to-skate” program which develops a much better skating base than learning to skate with a hockey stick in hand. So it’s actually going to be a huge asset to their game. And second, if your kid does choose to be a figure skater that really isn’t a bad thing either.
@mcewen3 that is so stupid. And I don't know why everyone is SO concerned with sexuality.... And in children. I don't think I've ever heard someone go "don't let her play sports, she'll be a lesbian" but there are countless things my kid can't play with, watch or wear because it'll influence his sexuality? No. Gfto of here with that nonsense. Homosexuality isn't a disease you catch if you play with too much glitter 🙄
I have a random that's totally not related to anything we're talking about, right now.....I just watched Back to the Future for the first time ever, this week. It was actually good! I thought it was just over hyped. But no! I enjoyed it so much i watched all three of them. And now I "get" all the references people make to that movie. 😝
I find it is much harder for boys to be "feminine" than it is for girls to be "masculine." It really is not a level playing field and I feel sorry for boys.
@eatinwatermelonseeds when I hear dads bitching at the rink I’ve started loudly talking to the other moms about how MH’s mom made him take power skating (with our local figure skating coach) right up until Midgets and how tons of NHL teams are using figure skaters, male and female, as their skating coaches because figure skaters are actually better skaters. We have one young boy in our club who volunteers as a program assistant with the little “hockey hopefuls” in DD1’s CanSkate group. He gets a lot of flack for being in figure skating, even though he plays hockey too. I feel so bad for him because he’s just following his passions! He loves both so he’s seriously busting his butt at the rink every day of the week in order to excel at both. And people just can’t see or accept that!
@mcewen3 that's so sad. I really don't see what the big deal is. Is male sexuality so fragile that a little boy can't figure skate without a ton of men losing their minds over it?
@eatinwatermelonseeds I honestly don’t know. And the thing is, the sport has quite a few straight male representatives. I mean, the whole of Canada was so invested in the romantic relationship between Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir prior to the Olympics and so much more after. And I could list off a whole host of other skating pairs who ultimately did get married. There are a few openly gay men skating, but guess what, there’s a bunch of closeted ones playing hockey (or any other “manly” sport). The sport they play did not affect their sexual orientation. It’s totally insane to even think it could.
@expandcontract it was years before I ever saw the whole thing through, because it plays on repeat and once I've watched half I don't really want to go watch the rest lol. But I remember a while back you said you'd never seen it. It's one of my favorites. But there are a ton of "popular" movies I've never seen. Pulp fiction, matrix, back to the Future, star wars.
This will age me- I actually saw Back to the Future in the theater when it came out in 1985. I was 6. I subsequently saw all of the sequels in the theater as well.
Speaking of gender roles, DH's cousin's husband does not hide his homophobic/transphobic/anti-semite side very well with DH's extended family despite the fact that they are a Jewish family with multiple LGTBQ family members. Anyway on Xmas, we were talking about how DH's cousin is having a girl and we are having a boy and another cousin said "well you never know-they may decide they are actually a girl or a boy or no gender at all." and then I said "True, and they may both decide they like girls or boys or both." DH's cousin husband flipped his freaking lid and was like "DON"T wish that for my child. WHO would want that for their child?"
All of turned and looked at him like "Who the fuck are you?" and kept talking. It was really awkward and weird.He is retired Coast Guard from a military family and my age-ish (38-39), so maybe it's like you are saying @eatinwatermelonseeds and @wishiwaspreggo - the younger generations are a lot more tolerant of non-conforming gender issues than my generation. I hope so because either way, this guy is in for a rude awakening as his kid gets older and has more gender nonconforming friends.
@sleepy33 I saw that and reported it and they said that it did not violate TOU. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? Apparently, non-expecting folks are allowed to infiltrate the BMBs to espouse their personal opinions on very personal issues. WTF. What is to stop pro-lifers from espousing their views on TFMR. That shit needs to end.
Those arguments are ridiculous. Women have mastectomies and full hysterectomies all the time to prevent cancer.
Also, soldiers get PTSD, adult rape victims get PTSD, adult drowning victims, adults who have incredibly painful surgeries, adults who are in car accidents. Mental effects of experiences can be traumatic regardless of age, and it's less likely to traumatize an infant than it is a young child who needs it for medical reasons, or a teenager and even an adult.
Don't circumcize your son, fine. Educate others about why they shouldn't. But this parent shaming is ridiculous.
@sleepy33 The intactivists are a very vocal organization https://intactamerica.org/. They regularly protest in bloody medical scrubs with pictures of botched circumcisions at major medical association meetings. IMHO, these are just men who have been circumcised and blame their sexual dysfunction on it.
@sleepy33 - Thanks to your suggestion I am enjoying sushi for lunch today! I got 3 rolls though - I mean, I'm feeding 3 people, right? So I get the avocado roll, my daughter gets the spicy crab roll, and my son gets the shrimp tempura roll. Justified.
So, fence update. After my neighbor agreed to splitting costs, I heard nothing else from her. It's been weeks. One of her dogs came into the yard and her best friend came over to get the dog and she and I talked about the fence. I got a spreadsheet my husband had printed up which estimated about $350 each for the job. The neighbor came out to make sure her dog wasn't causing trouble, took the spreadsheet, didn't really say anything and then just left while the best friend and I talked about it. Like... What? So, I got a contractor out here to do an estimate and I'm waiting on that. He said rough estimate $1000-1500. That's way over what we had estimated (and he said it could end up being more). So I just sent her a text telling her that my husband was able to find cheaper materials, what the contractor said, and asking what she thinks about it all. I haven't heard anything back. I'm so nervous.
@eatinwatermelonseeds I hate to say this, but technically a fence has one owner- so if it's your fence (on your property) it is yours and yours alone to fix. Your neighbor may have been being polite by verbally agreeing to split costs. The good news is that since it's on your property it, you are also free to just tear it down or do nothing at all. Since it's not your dog getting out- that may cause the neighbors to decide to fence in their own backyard. Either way, I probably wouldn't force the question if you want to remain friendly with these neighbors.
@chloe97 I did some research, it's not our fence. It's theirs. So, technically we don't have to do anything, they do. We're being generous by doing the work to replace it, and I imagine she offered to split cost so they don't have to do it themselves.
Re: Randoms week of 12/31
I ate ramen noodles for dinner and I’m not even feeling bad about it. I added vegetables and hot sauce, does that make it better? All I want are tacos. 😭 Stupid New Years resolution to not eat out as much!
When I was pregnant H wouldn't even let me buy yellow clothes for DS because they were "girly" 🙄 so you can imagine his face when I brought home the Frozen lunchbox and painted DS's toenails. But DS was SO thrilled that H got excited with him and it was never an issue. It was sweet. My big "He-man" turned puddle of mush for his baby 😂
Pink glittery shoes would've been kind of amazing, not even gonna lie
The whole boys reach for the stars/girls are sweet stuff infuriates me to no end. I just threw out a onesie that my SIL got us for DD's birthday that said 'Sorry boys, dad says I can't date until I'm 30' I hate being wasteful with free stuff, and gifts especially, but wut kind of message is that? That your dad owns you until your 30? That your primary concern at age 2 is dating?
BFP: 8/20/2018 - EDD 5/4/2019
2. Skating in Canada is like way more srs bsns than I realized
Speaking of gender roles, DH's cousin's husband does not hide his homophobic/transphobic/anti-semite side very well with DH's extended family despite the fact that they are a Jewish family with multiple LGTBQ family members. Anyway on Xmas, we were talking about how DH's cousin is having a girl and we are having a boy and another cousin said "well you never know-they may decide they are actually a girl or a boy or no gender at all." and then I said "True, and they may both decide they like girls or boys or both." DH's cousin husband flipped his freaking lid and was like "DON"T wish that for my child. WHO would want that for their child?"
All of turned and looked at him like "Who the fuck are you?" and kept talking. It was really awkward and weird.He is retired Coast Guard from a military family and my age-ish (38-39), so maybe it's like you are saying @eatinwatermelonseeds and @wishiwaspreggo - the younger generations are a lot more tolerant of non-conforming gender issues than my generation. I hope so because either way, this guy is in for a rude awakening as his kid gets older and has more gender nonconforming friends.
Those arguments are ridiculous. Women have mastectomies and full hysterectomies all the time to prevent cancer.
Also, soldiers get PTSD, adult rape victims get PTSD, adult drowning victims, adults who have incredibly painful surgeries, adults who are in car accidents. Mental effects of experiences can be traumatic regardless of age, and it's less likely to traumatize an infant than it is a young child who needs it for medical reasons, or a teenager and even an adult.
Don't circumcize your son, fine. Educate others about why they shouldn't. But this parent shaming is ridiculous.