Holiday weekly randoms 12/24

meatballs37

skatejawn27 said:

I don't know...I don't think the "randos" are the rude ones here.  People in a crisis show up looking for advice, and some of you can't just let it be.  You gotta add in memes and gifs, hoping to stir up reactions, and then call the OP rude.

Plus, regulars on here seek out medical advice and it's happily given.  Maybe try being a little more welcoming?  It's just an internet message board; not some secret country club.

Sleeping with random people every month and not using birth control and wondering who the dad is, is not a crisis. 

Bleeding, abnormal NIPT results of these precious babies we are carrying, and loss. THOSE are crisis posts. 

luckystar28

@dntstpbelieveing Amen to that. My first bmb has been active for 3 years. I’ve met 10 ladies in person and still talk to the group via private Facebook group every single day. They helped me through my son being born 6 weeks early and through my preeclampsia. We talk about divorce, about family crisis and yes, unfortunately even infant loss. We are real friends, not an internet message board.

@skatejawn27 I see what you’re saying. However, I still stand by the fact that @nmbrcrnchr1 directed OP on how to introduce and to the rules of our board and was met with hostility and cursing. I do feel she was rude to her. She asked a question regarding OP’s comment. If OP didn’t want people asking why share the information via public Internet forum? Again, I see your point but I hope you take the time to see the other side too. It’s not about being a clique at all. 

pbtoast

I don’t want to beat a dead horse here but, 1. I agree with many of the ladies above, and 2. I personally joined late this round, but I’ve followed the group norms to the best of my ability and I’ve been welcomed with open arms. That alone should tell you that this isn’t a “clique” situation- it’s just people asking for some consideration that when they join a group, they follow the group norms and also try to put something into the group vs just ask a question, respond rudely, then leave. Can you imagine if that took place IRL? A group of women standing together hanging out- someone new comes in and introduces themselves, participates in conversations, and adds in their two cents. Totally normal. Someone who comes in, asks a random question, then starts swearing at people when they answer their question but also politely asks them to participate in the convo rather than just demanding answers. That’s basically what happened. Anyway. This has been addressed a million times but that’s my two cents. 

Dcwtada

Careful with your language there @pbtoast, PETA may be watching  

cricket1688

@meatballs37 yes exactly. Who is the father is not a crisis post. 

chachacharrrmin

I consider this a crisis because WE WILL NEVER KNOW WHY BABY DADDY A WAS SO BAD!!!

tuxielove93

@Dcwtada I am SO happy for you that you got a happy reaction!! Yay!! 

pbtoast

I’m loving how busy my son is with his new Christmas toys today. He’s been playing independently all morning while I sit on my phone and drink coffee. 😂 He keeps saying “thank you, Santa!”

skatejawn27

Crisis is kind of a subjective thing based on other life experiences; some of use have been through quite a bit where for others, a "who is the dad??" thing could be The Actual Worst. 

My main point is, not everyone needs an internet message board to be a source of deep support.  It can be a place to seek advice or to kill time during the workday if you're not allowed to have your cell phone with you.  The passive-aggressive posts a board lurker can come across probably leads to people not wanting to invest a bunch of energy.  Posts about "lol adding another one to my post-it!" or making fun of a post/poster in another thread likely lead to people getting up in arms and suggesting regulars to kiss their derriers. 

There are some decent things here, yeah, but in general this site is very very much a clique atmosphere.  If it keeps being brought up, chances are there's some validity to it.    

meatballs37

@pbtoast same here! DD is really busy with all her toys and it’s my sanity today! Thank you Christmas!

DH has been vomiting since 10PM last night. And DD has a horrible cold (green snot, coughing). I’m luckily not sick and I swear I better not get sick! I’ve quarantined DH to the bedroom and lysoled like crazy and stripped beds and blankets. Everything is washing. I’ve literally been cleaning since 4am. It’s now 11 and The house looks amazing. 

pbtoast

There are so many different types of pregnancy message boards on the Internet. This is just the way TB is and I don’t think the culture is going to change. There is, of course, always the option for people to find another board that aligns more closely with what they’re looking for. Anyone is welcome here but there is an expectation for consideration of the group norms, as with any group of people. 

pbtoast

@meatballs37 Oh, that stinks your H is so sick. All of my fingers crossed no one else starts vomiting! That’s the worst!

KissMeImScottish

Man, I took Christmas off from the internet and I missed the crazy lady! She must have really crossed the line, since her responses are deleted for TOU violation! Yikes! Sorry you ladies had to deal with whatever crap that was.

Catching up now - I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas for those who celebrate. @meatballs37, I’m sorry H is feeling crappy and that your daughter is under the weather. Being sick around the holidays is no fun at all. There’s definitely some crud going around. I hope everyone feels better soon!

Dcwtada

This is my last word on the matter @skatejawn27 this board operates in a way that the majority respects and enjoys. Changing that for the few (and most likely won’t be around) is never going to happen. If you, or anyone else desires a different atmosphere or organization it is not hard to find one. It is not a clique to follow basic guidelines. 

Frankly it is selfish and asinine to try to guilt or force everyone else into changing the way things are done to suit your opinion. 

skatejawn27

**Removed for TOU Violation**

dntstpbelieveing

**Removed for Quoting TOU Violation**

**Removed for TOU Violation**

skatejawn27

Cussing at me!  Calling me a name when I used zero profanity?  Wow! 

pbtoast

I just don’t understand hanging around somewhere you don’t like. 

skatejawn27

As I said in another post, there is some decent info and entertainment on here.  I just don't understand how rude some of the women can be, which is an issue with The Bump as a whole not just this specific board.  I think it's probably because the people who are the most harsh are the ones who clearly spend like....hours every single day posting here, so there's probably some burnout happening.

carleym93

@skatejawn27 This is so much more than that. On DD’s BMB, my dad passed away unexpectedly. The ladies on that board prayed for me, sent me gifts. When I graduated college, one sent me a pin to wear on my cap and gown with his photo on it. One mama had her second born in the NICU, and we raised money to supply her with diapers, wipes, snacks, and toys for her older child. We do a Secret Santa at Christmas. One mom had thyroid cancer and another mom had food delivered to her door from across the country. It really is a community of women who share their lives and their babies. Its a really special experience and I’m sad you’re missing out on it. 

skatejawn27

@carleym93 It's cool you got that out of an internet message board; it sounds like something you needed.  I don't have a need in my life for that, though, because I have a really awesome network of friends & family I actually know.  It's okay to do something to waste time or just for basic info/entertainment; not everything needs to be A Serious Community Experience. 

cricket1688

For me, I’m the second of my group of friends to be pregnant/expecting a baby and I have no in person resources which is why I love coming to this thread over and over. The information and support are invaluable. My friends and family are lovely but don’t have a clue about what I’m currently experiencing. @skatejawn27 I’m sorry you are finding this board to not be what you expected. And I know there are plenty of FB groups with extremely similar information that might be more your speed. I think it’s time to quit while you’re ahead, and I genuinely do agree with you that there is always room for compassion for expectant mamas. But now things are spiraling and your cause is lost here

skatejawn27

@cricket1688 Nah, I have no intentions of leaving The Bump.  I also don't really have "a cause."  This is a Weekly Randoms thread, I contributed to it (contributing to the community is encouraged and expected here, right?) without any expectations the mentality here will change.  There are other pages/groups I enjoy reading, but again this is the only one accessible during my workday (things at work are slow today due to some Prison issues affecting my group schedules, which is why I'm not getting much effing work done). 

meatballs37

skatejawn27 said:

LOL @Dcwtada what exactly have I done to try to force anyone to do anything?  I was pointing out that members of The Bump are harsh and often downright mean to people. 

The Clique can continue to run things the way The Clique wants to.  Like I've insinuated in previous posts, I'm here only to kill time during my workday.  I can't access Reddit on my work computer, so this is my only option for downtime moments.  

I really hope you all can continue to find the support you need from this board.  I imagine it's difficult to make real-life friends when you're this ridiculous on the internet.  

If you find “ the clique” so awful, why are you even bothering? Because reddit is blocked. Mmm ok. 


You forgot “I feel sorry for your husbands” 

Anyone have TB bingo yet? All we need is a GBCW. 

skatejawn27

@meatballs37 Thank you for helping me with *my* bingo card!  You gave me "clique-specific acronym," "putting words into someone's mouth," and "sassy pop culture GIF."  I only need two more!  Sweet!

pbtoast

@skatejawn27 You seem bitter. 

meatballs37

@skatejawn27

pbtoast

@meatballs37 I think “You all are mean but I’m not leaving” is a bingo square too so you’ve got one more. 

Dcwtada

My favorite pictures from Christmas, I think I love the chaos after Christmas morning more than anything. Although my sleep deprived children (and self) are a tad grumpy today, my 3 year old keeps asking me to “open presents” now.  Hope everyone had a great Christmas, with or without the relative destruction  



#TheClique

skatejawn27

God, this is fun.  I hope you all are having as much fun as I am; thank you for the entertainment on the slowest day I've had in awhile.  I'm almost disappointed I have a meeting at 1430.

dntstpbelieveing

@Dcwtada your couch looks super comfy! (and your house is still gorgeous!) 

luckystar28

I have an appointment today and it’s the first one my DH is able to attend this pregnancy I’m excited! Hoping I can convince my MFM for an ultrasound to show DH baby boy  

meatballs37

@dcwtada that looks amazing! I also usually enjoy the day after Christmas chaos. @luckystar28 hope your appointment goes well! #theclique (i like it, it has a special ring to it)

tuxielove93

I feel like I’ve gotten another Bump badge or something like that. I actually want to start a post-it 😂

@Dcwtada We are also in total Christmas chaos, induced most of all by DS getting over 100 new plastic toy food items and throwing them
all over the living room. It’s a sight. 

Also, I feel really dumb today. For the life of me or DH, we can’t get DS stupid little shopping cart to snap together. It just won’t go together. I’m stuck between calling the company for a replacement and probably being called stupid by them, or just super glueing the thing together. I really can’t choose. 

KissMeImScottish

The Christmas chaos is wonderful, isn’t it @Dcwtada? I’m also loving seeing how your house has come together - it feels so warm, especially with the awesome wood ceiling! I wish I’d taken more pictures but I was so busy trying to maintain a little order with the kids (so that not everything got opened all at once) that I didn’t have much chance to. The bike that my oldest got was a HUGE hit and the twins are loving picking through the left over boxes, (like cats, haha).

My oldest has been down for his nap since 12:00 and he’s still asleep now. This is the longest nap he’s taken in ages - I think Christmas exhausted him!

cricket1688

I’ve been shuffled around in a car for hour long drives so many times over the last 3 days my back is killing me for it. I can’t wait to get home to my own bed tonight!

antera23

@Dcwtada your house looks great! 
@KissMeImScottish  if I was a kid and could take a long nap after Christmas, I would lol. 
@cricket1688 I hear you! Long car trips really take a toll on your back. 

I havent been very active on here lately. It’s been really busy around my house for a variety of reasons. We had a great Christmas! My sister is in town for a week so we’ve been spending a lot of time with my family. I hope everyone else had a great Christmas! 

carleym93

Whoa, there is already a September 2019 BMB waiting room! That makes me feel like we’re plowing through these pregnancies. 

tuxielove93

Not that anyone is following, but I fixed my son's play shopping cart. I was being stupid and trying to put it on backwards. 

KissMeImScottish

@tuxielove93, 😂. Glad you fixed it