PGAL WO 12/17

meatballs37

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ncm1919

Hi everyone. Drive by update. Traveling this week and in an insane number of meetings. Hope all is well with everyone. One week from now we will know the sex of baby. I’m so excited I can’t stand it. 

sparklingdiamond

I am waiting for my OB appt which should hopefully be uneventful. No ultrasound today. 

tuxielove93

1. How many weeks are you? 12,1 

2. Previous loss(es)? MC 5 Weeks Jan 2015

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Emotionally, I’m actually ok right now. I think Im
still mentally recovering from the weekend from hell. I don’t have the energy to be anxious 😂. Also, been feeling BABY KICKS. Not all the time, but if I lay on my back and lay really still and quiet I can feel some. Normally early morning, overnight, and dinner time. I’m surprised by how much I can feel, and Im not convinced all of it is baby at all, but at least a couple are unmistakably baby, and it makes me feel so so so much better. I felt DS early too and I had an anterior placenta, so I’m not surprised I can feel it early on here. And I’m pretty sure I do NOT have an anterior placenta this time. Should be interesting to find out, and see how much I feel this one if there isn’t an anterior placenta, because I remember DS being very active. 

4. Any appointment updates? I think my insurance cards may have finally come in the mail (I get email previews) so after 6 weeks of this crap hopefully I can finally schedule a real appointment 

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Just loving the baby rolls 

6. Any milestones coming up? I’ll be happy to make it officially to second tri, but I like to count it at 12 weeks. After this, viability is the next milestone 

7. GTKY? Are you going to do a New Years resolution? Nope. Haven’t since DS was born. Babies are enough for me to handle. I don’t need extra pressure. 

sparklingdiamond

Appt went well.  Basic stuff.  I go back in 4 weeks and they will do the AFP second trimester screen then.

carleym93

Feeling like I haven’t been a good PGAL friend. I’ve just had a rough week or so and have been mostly lurking. 

My PGAL brain is in overdrive. I thought I would feel better at this point (16+2) but I keep thinking to myself *TW* “Now if you lose this baby, its going to involve a delivery and will be a lot more intensive than a first tri loss.” *END TW* and I hate it. I wish I could just breathe some relief and think this is my take home healthy baby, but I’m not there yet. Maybe after the anatomy scan.

coco2787

Had my 4th ultrasound today. Baby was looking great, measuring 2 days ahead now and wiggling all over the place

Baskett88

Hi ladies. I'm new to the thread. I've been lurking about waiting to feel like it's a a "real baby" that I'll get to keep. Im getting there. I had an ectopic last year and our 2 year old was a 28 week preemie. Ive got a big appointment Friday with fetal maternal medicine... The uber OB I guess. The last doc said I had an incompetent cervix and my new doc thinks just preterm labor... So it's off to the specialist to see if I get a cerclage or not. So we'll see. The upside is a nice long US where I'll getto spend some time with the wiggle worm. 

coco2787

I'm getting really close to my most recent loss milestone (we don't know exactly when we lost her since it was a MMC but her heart likely stopped between 10 and 11 weeks) and I'm so worried.  I have another ultrasound on Wednesday and I'm finding the HB pretty consistently with the Doppler but it never feels like enough reassurance (now I'm feeling anxious about what if there are chromosomal defects).  I was hoping I would feel like I was in a good place to tell our parents on Christmas but I still don't think I'm ready.  Being PGAL is just so emotionally draining.  

meatballs37

@coco2787 I’m sorry you are having a hard time with PGAL brain. I wish it all got so much easier, but the joy I think just gets washed out with the worry. I’m glad you can find the little nugget on the Doppler though! I just finally found ours this last week. And I hate to admit I’m a little obsessive with it (twice a day I check if I don’t feel a ton of movement). 

I will be thinking about you lots on Wednesday, especially since it is such a big milestone for you guys. I hope you are still able to relax a little and enjoy the holiday as well. 

Lots if fellow wisconsin love sent your way friend. You are not alone. 

tuxielove93

@coco2787 Im sorry for the added stress. I havent felt muh movement last night and this morning and now Im sitting over here completely freaking out for no good reason because I shouldnt be feeling anything consistent and there is so much soace to hide. PGAL brain sucks. If youre not ready to announce, dont feel pressured! Sending love from the desert 🌵

pbtoast

@coco2787 So sorry you’re struggling. This is such a tough time in pregnancy (well, the whole thing is in its own way) before you can feel consistent movement for some degree of reassurance. Having a MMC (I had one too, around your same timeline it sounds like) is also a big mind f***. Before that, I thought “oh, I’m not bleeding or cramping, everything must be fine.” A MMC really blows that assumption out of the water. You’re not alone. Sending hugs. 

kjr9519

@coco2787 I struggled quite a bit when I was getting close to my MMC milestones, too. Like everyone else has said, MMCs really mess with your ability to feel at ease during pregnancy. I’ll be thinking of you and your LO during the next few weeks.

carleym93

@coco2787 Thinking of you ❤️ Hoping for peace and healing 

coco2787

@meatballs37 you aren't alone, I've been using my Doppler at least once a day too.  I just can't turn off that little voice that's saying "just because baby was fine yesterday doesn't mean they are today". I'm really grateful to have it though, even with weekly appointments.  

sparklingdiamond

@coco2787 I'm thinking of you.  I know how hard those milestones are

nmbrcrnchr1

I’ve been pretty quiet lately, sorry...just struggling a little. I have an appointment Thursday, but we are planning on announcing the sex to family and friends tomorrow and I’m just so nervous. I’ve been feeling some movement lately but it’s only when I am sitting or laying still and it’s by no means consistent. Well with the holidays we’ve been busy so I haven’t felt anything really in the last few days (maybe a kick or 2 but could’ve been gas) so I’m freaking out a bit. I don’t own a Doppler bc I don’t need the added stress if I wasn’t able to find it, but times like this I’m tempted to go buy one! Anyways...just needed to vent and knew you ladies would understand. Merry christmas to all who celebrate!

meatballs37

@nmbrcrnchr1 If it makes you feel any better my movement seems to have really decreased the last week or so too. And I only can feel it if I’m not distracted and sitting still. And even then, I think, was that movement or gas?

I’ve been breaking out my Doppler a ton because of it and bam, there she is everytime in the same damn spot. She literally hasn’t moved from that area in a week(maybe why I’m not feeling a ton of movement everywhere. She’s tucked in for the holidays). Just thought I would share that I haven’t felt hardly anything either in hopes it would settle your mind. I find my worry has increased too with the holiday and added pressure of announcing the sex to our family. Like it is really finalized or something. I imagine you feel similar. 

I think you are right though, a Doppler could sometimes add stress if you can’t find the HB right away. But I think at this many weeks gestation it would be easier to find. Although in a few more weeks we will probably really be feeling movement and hopefully that will relieve a good portion of our anxiousness in pgal. I say amazon prime yourself one if you think it would help. 

Sorry you are dealing with the added anxiety over Christmas. I hope you are still able to smile when you announce to your family because you deserve it. Merry Christmas friend. 

dntstpbelieveing

@nmbrcrnchr1 I am right there with you. I'm at the point if willing myself to feel something, anything that I could tell myself is movement. I also don't have a Doppler. I think if I got one it would be easy for me to become addicted. 
I also have an appointment Thursday and I think the next two days will be the longest of my life. I am sorry to share this boat with you. 

nmbrcrnchr1

@meatballs37 thanks friend, that does help! I know realistically it’s still too early for consistency but my PGAL brain will not shut off! I’ve put a Doppler in my amazon cart a few times but haven’t actually ordered one yet/ since this will be my last pregnancy I keep telling myself “a few more weeks and you won’t need it” but I may drive myself insane in those next few weeks. 
@dntstpbelieveing I’m sorry you’re in the same situation. I hope the holidays hurry the next 2 days along for both of us ☺️

meatballs37

Is it bad I hope that mo/di drive by poster doesn’t stick around? That’s what my boys were, mono di twins. And the survival stories are hard for me.

dntstpbelieveing

@meatballs37 my guess is she won't even come back. 

carleym93

@nmbrcrnchr1 Hugs! I’m 17w1d and still not feeling consistent movement. Like you, what I do feel could easily be gas so its hard to know for sure if what I’m feeling is even the baby! I was talking to DH about it last night and he said, “Well, when do kick counts start?” and I said, “Umm... 10 more weeks.” I think in that moment I got slapped with the reality that it is SO early and I’m not even supposed to be feeling consistent movement right now. Hang in there. I don’t have a doppler either for the same reasons as you. Soon we will all be feeling strong jabs! ❤️

tuxielove93

@nmbrcrnchr1 Right there with you, and I’m one of the earliest ones. Only 13 weeks. I still want to feel the movement I do consistently, and I’ve had a few strong, unmistakable ones, but not for a little bit now. I don’t have a Doppler for the same reason. I would LOVE to be able to hear the heartbeat but if I couldn’t find it I would completely freak out and by the time you can reliably hear it, you’re gettig regular movement. So I’ve always held off. I hope you can get through the holidays! I’m planning on annoucinf to everyone today but I keep feeling anxious to do it so idk 

coco2787

I’m sorry you’ve been struggling @nmbrcrnchr1. If you think you don’t really want a Doppler then don’t get one, but FWIW other people I know who have had rainbow babies used their Doppler up until the end since sometimes babies have lazy days and there are just some days where anxiety rears its ugly head. I wouldn’t worry too much about not being able to find the HB at this point, I’m only 10.5 weeks and have been able to find it every time I try.  

Sending you hugs @meatballs37 I’m sorry you had to see that post. 

nmbrcrnchr1

Thanks ladies. Sorry but it helps to know I’m not alone ☺️ I woke up super early this morning and kept switching sides and focusing on feeling it. I think I felt a tap or 2 🤷🏼‍♀️ We ended up announcing the sex and I was so nervous but...at this point everyone knows I’m pregnant so it is what it is! @coco2787 that’s a good point about using a Doppler even later on in the pregnancy. I think I’m going to go ahead and order one. Although wait until after my appointment Thursday to try it just so I don’t cause any unnecessary stress. And realistically I wouldn’t get it until Thursday afternoon anyways!

coco2787

Appointment at 3:30 today.  Getting good news today will be a big step for milestones. Heard the HB on Doppler this morning which helps but I’ll still be anxious until I see a properly growing bean on the ultrasound. 

eleven_

@nmbrcrnchr1 I was feeling the same way you are about buying a doppler so I put it off. I was worried I wouldn't be able to find the HB which would create even more anxiety. I didn't feel movement for a few days last week so I finally decided to order one and I found the HB in less than a minute!

@coco2787 So hopeful for you today  

dntstpbelieveing

@coco2787 Thinking about you today!

TJtheGoat

@coco2787 FX your appointment goes well. 

Dcwtada

Hoping all goes perfect @coco2787! I know it is not always reassuring as we hope for but it does help  

slightly related note, I think i might buy a Doppler...

sparklingdiamond

@coco2787 Good luck today!

Add me to the anxiety about less movement lately.  I felt it almost every day and even kinda strong a couple days in a row and now it's like nothing again or maybe once a day.  It's so frustrating.  But I have found the heartbeat on the Doppler so that has been comforting.  My next appt isn't until the 14th ugh.

meatballs37

Hoping for a great appointment for you @coco2787

carleym93

@coco2787 Thinking of you! Hoping for a great appointment 

vv826

**lurking 
good luck today at @coco2787!

kjr9519

Thinking of you today @coco2787 .

antera23

Thinking of you @coco2787 I hope your appointment went well! 

nmbrcrnchr1

@coco2787 hope your appointment went well today!
@eleven_ there you are friend, been thinking about you and hope you had a great holiday. I’m ordering one right now 😁

coco2787

Thanks for all your well wishes.  Baby was looking great, measuring 11 weeks (3 days ahead now). That means baby is bigger than it ever got in any of my previous losses, which feels huge.  Next week will definitely have us past all our loss milestones so hopefully things are still good then.  Blood draw tomorrow for NIPT, I know I’ll be really anxious while I wait for those results.  

dntstpbelieveing

@coco2787 yay!!!