@tuxielove93 i would flat out ask if her mother was this on top of her while she was pregnant with you! My mom was chomping at the bit too but she waited for us to post our online announcement after we did the in person ones we wanted to... the post barely had time to load before she texted her bff. I would just be clear that its your news to share when and in the way you want.
@tuxielove93 I’m with you here. That is so frustrating. I guess I won’t ever understand acting like this until I’m due to be a grandmother. I don’t understand why it’s hard for people to respect the mother/parents wishes. My step mother brushed off her spilling the beans to family as “I’m just so excited” that’s great and all but it’s not your place and next time I won’t tell you until way later. Lesson learned for me.
@cricket1688 SMIL told her brother and his wife, and some random lady I’ve never met before last Friday night when we had told her “we want to tell uncle S about the baby ourselves”. And it’s not her first. Her oldest son from another marriage has at least one kiddo. 😤😤😤 moms jumping the gun annoy the crap outta me
As someone who doesn’t love the attention of announcing, I’ve recently discovered that having a toddler has come in handy. He’s been telling EVERYONE that “mommy has a baby in her tummy!”
As a FTM and Facebook hater (lol) I wasn’t sure how I would tell people - so I haven’t been.
But I have shared it with a few close friends and we shared it with hubby’s parents.
(They’re good secret keepers and - being Jewish - don’t think I should tell anyone/buy anything/decorate a nursery until baby pops out. Quite opinionated, lol.)
It’s definitely hard bringing it up in convo with friends, I don’t know how to tell my boss, and in general I’m struggling with letting the cat out of the bag.
I feel like - this is a broad stroke statement so bear with me - I feel like once a friend or loved one has gotten pregnant, the pregnancy (and then baby) becomes the center of every convo and interaction.
I get it - especially once it’s a baby we’re talking about! But as the friend (never before the one having a baby) I’d watch in amusement and confusion as the topic of conversation inevitably returned to pregnancy/baby/motherhood. It felt like my friends would disappear 😓
So I have this fear that once I *announce* the pregnancy becomes my identity - my most interesting topic, the focal point- and in general I have always been huge on maintaining “me” - and also am just pretty private.
As i I wrote that I think I realized that it likely has more to do with how I treat this topic than how others treat it!!
I love how someone up there said it’s like announcing we had unprotected sex!! 😂😂lol
@raemy12345 I 100% agree with your thoughts. I feel like all people want to talk to me about now is baby stuff. Like, yes, I enjoy some conversations about babies, but still like to talk about other things too!
@raemy12345 yes having your world become all about the life you are incubating is annoying as hell. Even though we did a big announcement to just get it out of the way - i was worried about how life is changing. We have always stated we would be childless so getting pregnant meant a lot of "what changed your mind" like what difference does it make why??? Also LOL about announcing unprotected sex. When my parents congratulated by husband he was like... uhhh for having sex with your daughter???
@raemy12345 Lol yeah that always struck me too, the whole “unprotected sex” thing. Especially because DH and I got together in high school, so for awhile there was a lot of “hey DONT have sex, esp. unprotected sex” kind of crap from his parents,plus the whole “can’t let you sleep in the same room thing” for awhile (as if that even stopped us from sleeping together) and then we got married and all of a sudden everyone not only wanted us to have unprotected sex, but wanted to know when we would and definitely wanted a big celebration when we had what I can only crudely describe as successful unprotected sex that resulted in a pregnancy. We’re still young too, so these experiences were within 2-3 years of each other.
Hubby and Me Friends since 2008 Started dating: July 1st, 2013 Engaged: July 1st, 2014 Married: July 1st, 2016 R born: July 8th, 2017 N born: June 30th, 2019 Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022 (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
We were the couple that weren’t having kids - I never meant to take that stance but I also didn’t fall into the “always wanted to be a mom” camp either.
I was always sitting on the fence - hubby did too - and would change the subject when people asked. (They sure ask a lot in your mid-30’s...that fence starts to feel a little prickly.)
And @battleangel I guess it is a kind of UO (lol) but it’s nice to know I’m not alone in it!
I don’t doubt that this pregnancy and baby will change me (it already has) and that’s not a bad thing AT ALL - But I sure as heck hope I can maintain some semblance of myself.
@raemy12345 lol the fence almost becomes electric. Pick a side. For me it turned because my DH doc said he should get a vasectomy if we werent having kids. Uhhh i didnt want it to be a permanent no. I also dont have that maternal instinct. Thats DH territory. Hes way diff around kids than me. I am awkward even though i spent years babysitting and love seeing our neice and nephew.
@raemy12345 I understand how you feel. It’s so easy to slip into only talking about pregnancy and babies. Back in the day I felt similar about getting into a relationship. That’s probably why we’re not married yet
I'm one of those that let myself get caught in the whole being seen only as a mom thing. not that it's a bad thing because honestly it's one of my biggest passions but I do struggle with the fact because to be the mom I want to be I also have to let the other parts come through. I'm trying really hard now to find the other sides of myself, it's hard to do when you're pg and that'd all anyone talks about!
With my first I was crazy about it and only posted she was born and no announcement I was pregnant on social media. The second one we did a cute photo announcement around 12 weeks on Facebook/insta. I’m not sure what we are doing this time. I’m kinda fine either way. I’ve been more nervous this time and keep saying I will tell more people after my next appointment for two appointments now.
@meatballs37 sorry for the late response. Tinybeans does let you upload videos. I think they can only be a certain length though. If you get premium I know it allows you to post 5 min videos. I’m not sure the limit if you use the free version. The nice thing tho is that if you pay for premium then everyone on your account benefits from no ads and things.
Another alternative to social media and tiny beans that I recently started - I back up all my pictures to Google Photos. The app made an automatic album with DD’s face so any picture she’s in gets automatically uploaded. And then I shared with our parents and family that like to see her pictures. It’s totally passive for me and they enjoy seeing al of them.
Re: The anti-announcement thread
But I have shared it with a few close friends and we shared it with hubby’s parents.
(They’re good secret keepers and - being Jewish - don’t think I should tell anyone/buy anything/decorate a nursery until baby pops out. Quite opinionated, lol.)
It’s definitely hard bringing it up in convo with friends, I don’t know how to tell my boss, and in general I’m struggling with letting the cat out of the bag.
I feel like - this is a broad stroke statement so bear with me - I feel like once a friend or loved one has gotten pregnant, the pregnancy (and then baby) becomes the center of every convo and interaction.
I get it - especially once it’s a baby we’re talking about! But as the friend (never before the one having a baby) I’d watch in amusement and confusion as the topic of conversation inevitably returned to pregnancy/baby/motherhood. It felt like my friends would disappear 😓
So I have this fear that once I *announce* the pregnancy becomes my identity - my most interesting topic, the focal point- and in general I have always been huge on maintaining “me” - and also am just pretty private.
As i I wrote that I think I realized that it likely has more to do with how I treat this topic than how others treat it!!
I love how someone up there said it’s like announcing we had unprotected sex!! 😂😂lol
thanks for reading my novel, ladies. Phew!!
xx
his parents,plus the whole “can’t let you sleep in the same room thing” for awhile (as if that even stopped us from sleeping together) and then we got married and all of a sudden everyone not only wanted us to have unprotected sex, but wanted to know when we would and definitely wanted a big celebration when we had what I can only crudely describe as successful unprotected sex that resulted in a pregnancy. We’re still young too, so these experiences were within 2-3 years of each other.
Friends since 2008
Started dating: July 1st, 2013
Engaged: July 1st, 2014
Married: July 1st, 2016
R born: July 8th, 2017
N born: June 30th, 2019
Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
(maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
We were the couple that weren’t having kids - I never meant to take that stance but I also didn’t fall into the “always wanted to be a mom” camp either.
I was always sitting on the fence - hubby did too - and would change the subject when people asked. (They sure ask a lot in your mid-30’s...that fence starts to feel a little prickly.)
And @battleangel I guess it is a kind of UO (lol) but it’s nice to know I’m not alone in it!
I don’t doubt that this pregnancy and baby will change me (it already has) and that’s not a bad thing AT ALL - But I sure as heck hope I can maintain some semblance of myself.