UO - 12/13

nmbrcrnchr1

Whatcha got today ladies???

skatejawn27

Internet begging drives me bananas.  I don't mean if there is a serious emergency or you're looking for donations for a charity.  I mean like, "I have a utility bill I can't afford.  Please help and share this GoFundMe."

canuckbaby

@skatejawn27 i dont know if you heard but this spring there was a bus accident where a bunch of hockey players were killed and some survived - it was so awful one family was told their son was dead but due to the team all dying their hair blond it was a mix up. There was an innocent enough go fund me page set up fairly immediately to help the families. It got out of control and something like 15 million dollars was raised. A committee had to be organized to determine how to split the money between survivors and families of the deceased. A judge recently had to approve a release of some funds as the rest hasnt been sorted out. Dont get me wrong i believe the families are in need of the money on both sides but the excessive donations are going to tie things up for a long time and have probably led to some animosity amongst the families.

skatejawn27

@canuckbaby Wow, that is horrible in so many ways!! 

harrierwife

skatejawn27 said:

Internet begging drives me bananas.  I don't mean if there is a serious emergency or you're looking for donations for a charity.  I mean like, "I have a utility bill I can't afford.  Please help and share this GoFundMe."

NOT UNPOPULAR, try again 

I've seen GoFundMes for people trying to go back to school, for (voluntary) cross-country moves, and weddings. 

Dcwtada

Definitely not unpopular! And just adding to that, the amount of personal details people share on FB is insane. I will say it slightly benefits me sometimes because we have rental houses and before we rent to someone they have to add me on FB if we are considering them. You usually don’t need to look to long to find red flags; Go fund me for getting a drivers license (honest to god saw that one) does not pass the test,  Bitching about your former or current landlord...sorry but we went another direction, pictures of your living arrangements and you are a slob, what do you know we don’t have a place open... 

skatejawn27

I guess a true UO, that might conflict with how much I hate internet begging, is that I think giving homeless people cash money is more beneficial than giving them food or whatever else.

ki1244

I hate chicken unless it's boneless and fried, or slathered in enough sauce that I can't taste it in its actual state. Didn't like it before BFP, and it's even worse now.

@skatejawn27 Have you ever read When Helping Hurts? Super fascinating book. Basic premise: handouts on the street are just as harmful to the giver as the recipient (creates a savior complex while reinforcing the second-class status of the recipient), and giving of time and treasure through services and organizations who walk alongside people in financial need is a much better investment, but understanding of what poverty truly is (not always financial) is key. I don't even work in a field that deals with that but it was still super eye-opening to my own assumptions and biases and tendencies. (That said, I've loooooved following Rodney Smith on Twitter and watching all his videos of making homeless folks' Christmas wishes come true.)

Dcwtada

My DH started a food pantry in town before I met him so I cannot even begin to take credit in any way for it. I do believe it is much more beneficial than cash. There are lines now an hour before it opens (it’s only once a month unfortunately). My husband can be a dick but he came from hungry and humble beginnings, some of the stories he told me have shaken me. Little kids walking and doing the shopping because their parents weren’t home or “capable” of showing up - and I don’t mean that in a working way. I mean 9 year olds walking more than a few blocks in bad weather to get cans of vegetables because mom was passed out on the couch.

The worst he told me was when two little boys (older was less than 10, and the brother was much younger) showed up and there is a limit to what you can pick from each section, and how he held this box of pop tarts in his hands and just stared at it for minutes before putting it down and grabbing cans of soup. They walked home with pop tarts because DH was there and his heart broke but I know that was just a tiny thing in a terrible situation. I’d never give their parents money, just means they are gone more. The opioid and drug addiction in small town USA is not to be understated, I can’t even imagine urban areas. 

I did meals on wheels for my “volunteer opportunity” at my previous job, and they had a pet version where you brought pet food and supplies to needy families. I thought it would be this great way to help pets and owners down on their luck. Come to find out that almost 1/4 of the people that signed up were senior citizens with no pets. They ate pet food because it stores well and wouldn’t be stolen by family members or care takers. Wet cat food was preferred in those cases for protein. I have never been so humbled in my entire life. 

Dcwtada

I know it seems like a small thing and not worthwhile but please if any of you are inclined, go through your pantries once a month - clean out any cans or boxes of food you haven’t used the last month and don’t intend to use in the near future and donate to a pantry, women’s/homeless shelter or canned food drive. We waste so much (and believe me I am so guilty of this I feel hypocritical even posting). But it does make a difference. 

TJtheGoat

@Dcwtada your post made me teary. Thank you so much to you and your husband for helping out. I was that 9 year old buying baby formula with food stamps and trying to carry my baby sister around because my mom couldn’t be bothered to care. There were many kind teachers, neighbors, and even strangers who gave us food, but I still went hungry many nights. Food banks were the only place we got groceries from when my mom sold the food stamps for cash. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 

Dcwtada

Truly all my love @TJtheGoat

canuckbaby

I work at a mental health clinic dealing with ppl in the inner city. We have newly opened safe consumption sites to allow for a safe clean place for people to use drugs and have the opportunity to speak to someone about harm reduction and get them connected to services if they desire. The opiod crisis is real and i think in our province there are two deaths daily contributed to this. 

As far as hand outs on the street i would rather buy someone a meal than hand them cash and support organizations like our food bank. Our inner city team at the clinic collects new socks and mitts and underwear for the homeless clients they see. Gently used shoes and toiletries for women as well. We also have an event twice  year - spring and fall where dentists, hair dressers, health care providers, photographers and more services are in one place for people who cant necessarily afford these services on a regular basis can get a hair cut, some oral care, maybe a family photo after a shower that is a treat. 

We also have a lot of working homeless. People who lost homes during downturn in economy who cant afford rent who couch surf. They may be working now but cant get out of the hole they got into. The needy has many faces 

antera23

Oh @Dcwtada that breaks my heart. Wow. That story will stay with me for a very long time. 

❤️ @TJtheGoat. 

skatejawn27

I think assuming that all cash given goes to drugs or alcohol is awful.  People can use money to pay the costs of shelters (yep, many shelters require a small payment).  Women can use it to buy pads/tampons.  People can use it to buy food for their animals.  People can use it to buy a coke at McDonalds and have a place to warm up, charge a phone, etc. 

canuckbaby

@skatejawn27 i agree its not that i want to give a meal for risk of spending on drugs or alcohol. I dont really care if thats what they use it for i just have a hard time giving $ when i have seen someone buskar and then hop in their new car.... if someone declines a meal they are obviously not starving but i also live in a city with different resources. I had someone decline my offer of coffee because he had too much already

carleym93

So the Christmas song that really gets me is not Baby Its Cold Outside, it’s actually Santa Baby. 

I feel like it perpetuates this idea that women are helpless to get nice things without the help of a man. If you want the convertible, go out and work for it girl! 

I’ll get off my soapbox now. 

canuckbaby

@carleym93 i think its funny how many songs there are that are more current that are more offensive than either of those. Not disagreeing with your position on Santa baby just the over all need to attack the past. 

One of our local radio stations played baby its cold outside (diff versions) back to back until they had been donated 107 winter coats... i am not sure how many times it played before they filled their quota. 

ki1244

@canuckbaby YEP with you on that. Doesn't mean I don't change the station when Santa Baby comes on because it for sure is annoying. But I'm also not listening to a lot of music out there now because it says things that are WAY worse, way more explicitly, and in a current context vs the context if the song when it was written -- and the stations out there virtue-signaling how "woke" they are by banning Baby It's Cold Outside but still playing Chris Brown or Kendrick Lamar on December 26 just drive me bonkers.

canuckbaby

@ki1244 well yeah some songs are annoying AF. I personally prefer boney ms christmas album for my Christmas time songs. Beyond that i could give a flying f to listen to any christmas songs in general. 

harrierwife

@Dcwtada - Bless you and your husband for the work that you do. 
I'm new to my teeny, tiny MS town and am appalled at the hunger and food insecurity here. I've never seen anything like it in my life. We're very close with the Police Chief of our town and the stories....my God, the stories.

And the pet food......I have no words. 

canuckbaby

Gender neutral shit is making me crazy. Just saw a post on facebook that ppl think santa claus should be female now or gender neutral. Wtf its santa claus.... old st. Nick.... he is a he. Get over it. Dont get me wrong i dont care if someone identifies as the opposite sex or are gender neutral (actually i find it quite fascinating) but stop forcing the agenda on changing existing traditional roles for the sake of being more inclusive. Start your own lifestyle traditions and stories... IMO 

ki1244

Female Santa is a joke, right? Like...that can't be serious....

eleven_

Just thought I'd leave this here 

Bababatty

@canuckbaby Totally agree—come up with another, female-centric story or tradition, demonstrate some creativity. I mean, someone’s rolling in Elf on the Shelf money; it can be done. It actually bothers me when people try to co-opt characters that are traditionally of one gender because it’s like, you couldn’t be bothered to come up with something equal or better? We read a book in my book club that was about a female Sherlock Holmes. Yet the character could have been a perfectly compelling detective without being so derivative. And in fact, the female “Sherlock” bore no similarity in back story to the male Sherlock, which just tells me the author couldn’t be bothered to come up with her own mysteries (since her cases aligned closely to the originals). I think it does a disservice to women or those who identify as gender neutral to be derivative. It tells me we’re not special enough to warrant our own unique characters.

canuckbaby

@Bababatty lol yes someone is wiping their ass with elf on a shelf money. Saw another post asking people to refer to father christmas as person christmas. Shit like this makes me wish i wasnt bringing a child into this world. 

Your female sherlock holmes author seems like a bandwagon jumper looking to score with people who are looking to identify with a character of that nature. Hello the new ghostbusters movie... that was awful. 

Penguin81

*laughing while typing* Santa's reindeer are female though biological speaking only female reindeer keep their antlers in winter. I'll go away now.

antera23

While we’re on this trend, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the song, Baby it’s cold outside. 

marijaa333

Oh come on, we already know that it's actually Mrs. Claus who keeps and checks all the lists, plus buys, wraps and labels all the presents, while Santa gets the credit. Santa probably also gets lost on the way and refuses to ask for directions, so she has to get out of the sleigh and talk to the locals. For his part, I bet he takes the cookies back to Mrs. Claus, who loves them, while he himself prefers steak.

KissMeImScottish

@marijaa333, I legit laughed out loud at this. Now if that ain’t the truth!

canuckbaby

@marijaa333 omg soooo funny cause its true.  My husband is a delivery driver and he calls me at work from time to time to Google map things.  Not for how to get to it just for an idea of whats around it. Hes directionally challenged when it comes to what is north or south but tell him its by the 7 11 and the mcdonalds and bam he knows what you talkin bout

whitney812

My UO - I don’t like Stranger Things. 😵😬 I’m sorry @eleven_!!! I’ve watched them all- I just can’t get into it whatsoever. 

FWIW I love Millie Bobby Brown 😅

nmbrcrnchr1

@whitney812 😂🤣😂

eleven_

@whitney812

That cut me deep 

It's okay. A lot of people love Fear of The Walking Dead and I have tried to get into it and just don't like it 🤷‍♀️

vv826

on that note I don't like The Walking Dead period.

Penguin81

To continue on that note I've never watched the walking the dead, fear the walking dead, stranger things, or the Kardashians 😂🤣

eleven_

@Penguin81 Walking The Dead 

amaren-2

I'm at the time in my life that I have absolutely no desire to get drunk. Even if I wasn't pregnant it just doesn't appeal to me. I have a 2 yr old that is difficult as is, I couldn't imagine trying to manage with a hangover.

I did that enough in college, I'm a grown ass adult. 

Plus my 2 yr old nephew had a liver transplant earlier in the year and that was hard and stressful. I want to take care of my liver as much as possible.

Penguin81

  sure that too

cricket1688

Okay so, I hate bows on newborn girls. I hate any kind of headgear that is meant to say “my baby is a girl” before the age of 6months or maybe even older. I don’t know why I just really don’t like how it looks and feel it’s too much. I’m sorry 😬

catmommac

@cricket1688 Me too! I told DH, no bows! No headbands! He said that his mom will probably buy some. I’m not putting them on! I get to dress her until she can say otherwise!