Ask a STM+ December — The Bump
July 2019 Moms

Ask a STM+ December

I can't wait any longer for someone to start this thread. STM+ in the group, I need your wisdom!

Re: Ask a STM+ December

  • Anyone here cloth diaper? The cloth diaper board is pretty sparse and I want to hear from someone with experience. Yay or nay?
  • @cindler I tried with DS and it was difficult. He was a skinny baby and prefolds + covers never fit very well, lots of leaks. So I switched to Naty biodegradable diapers. 

    Now one we live in a very small house with a very small trash can outside so we have decided to go all in for cloth this time. I went ahead and ordered Grovia O.N.E. all in ones during the Black Friday sales through Nikki’s Diapers. They seem really substantial and use both snaps and Velcro. 
    Lilypie Maternity tickers

  • I tried...and gave up when we switched to solids. So now I have like 15 Bum Genius AIO's sitting the closet...barely used. Oops. It's definitely not for everyone. 
  • We didn't go with the first time, and we aren't this time. We looked into it, and honestly, it would have required an adjustment to our laundry routine that we weren't sure we'd commit to. I am looking to use more bio-degradable friendly diapers this time around, though.
    BFP ♡ Jan 2016 - M born Oct 2016
    PPD for 1yr+ post-pregnancy
    BFP ♡ Sept 2018 - CP @ 5 weeks
    BFP ♡ Nov 2018 - Due Jul 2019

  • @foodislove Naty diapers are the best in that realm. Completely non toxic and I think over 90% biodegradable + they are leak proof even for skinny babies. I loved them. 
    Lilypie Maternity tickers

  • I've thought about it but I hate laundry now. I have leggings and tops that are washed on delicate and hung to dry and I hate doing those iI couldn't image doing cloth diapers several times a week  

  • @mamanbebe Thanks for the recommendation. I was also looking at Earth's Best Tendercare as that was rated pretty highly in reviews. If this kid is anything like M, though, I need diapers that fit around tubby tummies.
    BFP ♡ Jan 2016 - M born Oct 2016
    PPD for 1yr+ post-pregnancy
    BFP ♡ Sept 2018 - CP @ 5 weeks
    BFP ♡ Nov 2018 - Due Jul 2019

  • hemlheml member
    100 Comments Photogenic Name Dropper
    STMs, did YH come with you to all of your OB appointments, even your first prenatal? Are there specific ones to make extra sure he can come to? 
  • @heml My H made sure to go to any that included an u/s and he would come as his schedule allowed to all the other ones.  He liked to be at as many as possible, but it really wasn't necessary most of the time.  I did want him there for all the ultrasounds.  First time around, he went to the first nurse intake appointment and it was probably good because they go over the different testing, etc... but I had him skip that one this time.
    Me:  34  DH:  35
    Married: June 2015
    TTC #1: September 2015
    BFP: 4/17/2016   EDD: 12/28/2016
    DS born 12/23/2016
    TTC #2: November 2017
    June 2018: SHG - Right tube blocked
    June 2018: HSG - Tubes clear!
    August 2018: Clomid/IUI #1
    September 2018: Clomid/IUI #2
    October 2018: Natural cycle/IUI #3
    BFP: 10/26/2018  EDD: 7/6/2019

    ~Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.~
    Matthew 6:34

  • DH went to most of mine last time.  He intends to go to all of them this time.  For me, I like having a second set of ears.  He likes hearing first hand what was said to me.
  • @heml with previous pregnancies, DH barely went to any appointments.  I remember he went to the big 20 week u/s.  With this one, he wants to go to them all, which I am not used to!
  • edited December 4
    @cindler I cloth diapered my two oldest.  It went fine and my kiddo who was cloth diapered from birth on, potty trained really easily and early.  I think it is because they can feel when they are wet.  At that time I was a SAHM.  If you have the means and the time, I would definitely recommend it.  It is also super nice, if you consider one of those sprayers that can recycle water from the toilet.  That way you can spray the diaper down over the toilet to get all of the excess stuff off before you put them into the washing machine.  This is only an issue when your kiddo starts on solid.  I know formula feed poop can be a bit more substantial than breast milk stools.   I personally liked the all in one diapers, but sometimes newborns can pee through them, so make sure they are a good brand.  Prefolds are fine, but can be a bit bulky on babies.  However, they are the most cost effective.  I had fun with the wool leggings and covers in conjunction with those and fitted diapers.   I remember when I did It, the cloth diapering scene had almost a boutique like undercurrent and there were diapers that were embroidered and so adorable.  But they were under a lot of demand and people would pay a pretty penny for them.  Some sites would even crash when they stocked, because people wanted them so bad.   If you can ever get your hands on them, Fluffymail newborn diapers are the absolute best.  But again, I am taking about diapers from many moons ago.  I did see them on Etsy, not so long ago.  Now that I am working and with the demands of older kids, I sadly have no time for it.  I loved it when I did it, though. 
  • @heml my H goes to the anatomy scan and then to my 38wk appt one that's it. The only reason he goes to my 38wk appt is because 3 out 4 times I was 5cm+ and 2 of the 4 I was sent directly to labor and delivery and had a baby 2hrs later.

    Most of the appts are just standard, pee in a cup, measure blood pressure, hear heartbeat, and ask any questions. Definitely not worth him taking off work to be there for. 

  • tsa208tsa208 member
    100 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 4
    @heml DH came to any that involved U/S. The ones that were more like regular OB/GYN appointments, like checking my cervix/uterus, he didn't come to those and I didn't want him to. It was nice to talk candidly about my symptoms without DH hearing about my cervical mucus and hemorrhoids lol. He obviously saw it all in birth, but I liked the privacy. YMMV.
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @Bear14+ same exact thing here... started out and once we switched to solids it was a no. Granted, I only used them during the day to begin with. 
    @cindler we used Grovia hybrids and I did like them as far as cloth diapers go. I was just over the laundry and not in the mood for the poop. And then I had two in diapers so it was too much for me. It's not hard though in my opinion, just know what you are getting into as far as laundry, clothing fits differently on the babies with cloth too, and have a plan for when the poop is no longer breastmilk poop!

    @heml my first pregnancy my DH went to my first appointment, my anatomy scan, and then a MFM appointment when I needed to see the high risk doctor. My second pregnancy it was only the anatomy scan. In my opinion, it was nice to have him there for the first appointment hearing the heartbeat and everything! But after that the appointments are so quick and you don't do too much!
  • My husband went to everyone he could the last pregnancies but it wasn’t a big deal if he couldn’t make it. He was always there for the first ultrasound, the 20 week ultrasound, and the last 4 weeks before the baby was there. He will still try to make every one he can but the appointments go by so fast he doesn’t really need to be there 
  • I’ve cloth diapered both boys, either part time or full time. I found covers and flour sack towels worked the best for them, and were also cost friendly. It can be a bit pricey when starting out. Facebook has quite a few resource pages for cloth diapers, lots of info you can check out! 

    With th my first, DH came to the first two appointments, at 8 and 12 weeks. First was just informational really, and the 12 week appt was the first time we got to hear the heart beat. After that he made it to the 20 week ultrasound, and then went when he could. Pretty much the same with my second, except I needed a few extra ultrasounds at the end, so he made all of those. 
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • I cloth diapered my boys at least part time because of finances. We were literally dirt poor at that point with me in school and DH on disability. So have prefolds and PUL covers when we just had no money for diapers was a lifesaver. And really, easy enough to wash by hand and hang to dry so that I always had a few ready to go. We used disposables overnight or when we were out. Will likely do something similar this time around, except I will shell out for some cute cloth.

    DH went to my first appointment a few weeks ago because I knew I was getting an ultrasound and with my history I needed the support. After this he will likely only go to the anatomy scan. He gets antsy and annoyed and it throws me off for the appointment. Although if I think the appointment will be an emotional one I will have him go. I have had to face my losses alone due to finances far too many times. 
  • @heml My DH only usually comes to the ultrasounds. He had to miss the first one to watch our 3 year old because no one knew yet. But he will be there for the 12 and 20 week scans. Other than that I agree with @tsa208 at the regular appointment they’re not really needed but that’s a personal choice but there definitely were some kinda gross things to talk about sometimes and I’d rather have those convos one on one 
  • @heml With DS, MH went to every appointment. It probably wasn't necessary but he wanted to go to be supportive. My midwives really just encourage participation in the final 4-6 weeks, mostly to prepare for the birth as a couple. 
    Lilypie Maternity tickers

  • @heml I think my husband came to most of my appointments with my first.  It was about 50/50 my second pregnancy, it just depends on what time my appointments are. He will be there for the ultrasound for sure and 36 wks+.  He likes to go, but sometimes it gets complicated with work and kids.
  • @xtinecatherine @ccmama3 @indulgentgypsy Thanks for the info. I will go back to work a few months after LO is born, so obviously daycare will factor into our decision, but I'm looking to cloth diaper mainly because I love the cost saving aspect and I hate dealing with the trash out here in the country. I'm sure we will supplement with disposable, but I'd prefer not to do disposable exclusively. Plus if we run out of disposables, it's a 30 minute round trip to get more. I understand that prefolds are the more traditional safety pin type version. Those don't appeal to me. The AIOs, do they have a disposable insert? For the various types, are you washing the diaper after every change? How many would you recommend that we buy initially? Finally, if I get 12-20 good quality ones, will that last me until potty training?
  • @cindler with using covers, as long as it was just pee, I would wipe it clean, and re use it a couple of more times before throwing it in the wash bag, just change the insert. In terms of how many you need, it depends how often you want to do laundry, but no matter the amount, they should last you until potty training. I was able to use our cloth diapers with my first some until he potty trained and then used them again for #2. They’re currently being stored for baby #3. I’ve had to replace some over the years, but overall if you take care and wash them correctly, they should last you! 
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • @cindler you dont actually use safety pins anymore for pre folds (or most people don't) they have these things called snappis that are silicone/plastic that hold the diaper together. Still wouldnt be my personal choice! With the all in 2/hybrids that I used you could use the same outer shell a few times (2-3) before washing and just change out the insert. With that style diaper you also would have the option of either cloth or disposable inserts. The number will depend on what style diaper and how often you want to wash. I'd recommend at least 15! But others may have better advice! You will also definitely want to research a wash routine based on your water type. If you have a natural parenting store anywhere near you I highly recommend checking it out to see different styles in person and be able to talk to someone knowledgeable in person!
  • edited December 5
    @cindler the snappis are used in lieu of safety pins.  You can find them on amazon.  They are much easier to use.  The diapers that have the prefolds that you insert are called pockets.  They are ok, but I found were still pretty bulky.  I always preferred the all in ones that are standalone that you do not have to stuff.  They have a PUL outer.   However, I did also like the option of the regular fitted diapers with the covers.  Wool is pretty easy in that you do not have to wash it as often as you might a traditional cover.  But you do have to treat it.  Fleece is also another option for a cover.  There are also PUL covers too, however they do not seem to work about in my opinion.  In terms of washing, you will need to wash every diaper with each use as they will be very wet.  This is a good tutorial for the different types.  However, if you are getting all in one diapers, I recommend the solid colored ones as the patterned PUL do not seem to absorb as well.   With daycare, I definitely would recommend the all in ones.  They really easy.   However, for home use, fitteds and covers are nice.  I loved the wool and fleece as they double as shorts or pants, and do not add a ton of extra bulk. The all in ones are the best under regular clothes.  One of my favorite diaper manufacturers is still around.  I really loved Bottombumpers for my little one as a newborn.  They absorbed really well and were slim fitting, so there was not a ton of bulk. The mom that makes them was actually on a board like this with me 14 years ago.  My kiddo actually was a tester of her prototype when she first opened. Time flies!  Another bonus is cloth is that you can resell them too.  
  • Yes we used cloth nappies and I will again. Didn’t find it overly onerous in terms of laundry. Preferred pockets due to quicker drying.
  • We have a midwife system here but no my OH didn’t come to many appointments. Antenatal classes are common here and he came to all of those. 
  • We used cloth with our first two exclusively until they were potty trained, and then with our third until she started solids and had “man poop” according to my husband. I prefer all in ones, but have a few pockets. My best suggestion is to buy a few different types and see what you like before you buy a whole stash. Also, look in your area for either used or rental diapers to try them before you buy them. 
    My husband has gone to most appointments with all three of our girls so far, as long as he wasn’t traveling for work. 
  • DH came to almost all of my appointments if he could make them. One of the NP's was really rude about it one of the early visits, though, and we asked never to see her again. She'd made him sit in the lobby while asking me all these family history questions, then he rejoined us he was asking me what I was asked, and she had the nerve to tell him to stop playing on his phone (it wasn't out) and be present for the pregnancy. Like. What b*tch? You MADE him leave... 
    BFP ♡ Jan 2016 - M born Oct 2016
    PPD for 1yr+ post-pregnancy
    BFP ♡ Sept 2018 - CP @ 5 weeks
    BFP ♡ Nov 2018 - Due Jul 2019

  • My husband came to almost all my appointments last time and probably will again. We love our midwife so much, we both love going to see her. It’s a very family friendly environment
  • hemlheml member
    100 Comments Photogenic Name Dropper
    @foodislove Hope we don't get anyone like that! 

    Thanks @NicholeL16 @Sparty18 @ketomommy @xtinecatherine @nopegoat @tas208 @ccmama3 @bartonolivia @nolemomma14 @indulgentgypsy @happymessmama17 @mamanbebe @kaylers05 for weighing in! MH is definitely coming to the first appointment next week. He travels a lot, so I think it'll be a pain to try to schedule around him, so I was hoping y'all weren't going to say "of course he should be at every appointment." HA. I'll have him mark off that he can't travel on the days I set for U/S appts.
  • Has anyone had a VBAC or is anyone hoping for one this time around like me?

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers

  • @leendenny I want one, but none of the reputable doctors around here do them.  I don't like the OBs that work with the midwives, so I am stuck with a repeat c.
  • @ketomommy That sucks, I'm sorry! I don't understand why it's so hard to find an OB that will support a VBAC. 
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  • @leendenny it’s often pressure from insurance companies and that newer doctors aren’t trained in much beyond standard hospital labor and delivery. I’m going for a vbac with a midwifery group at a private birthing center to lower the chances of unnecessary interventions, but we are about 20 city blocks from the hospital if we need to move. 
    Lilypie Maternity tickers

  • @ketomommy ; and @mamanbebe ; If you don't mind me asking, what were the reasons for your c-sections? I went into labor at 36 weeks and after 9 hours of labor they checked me and her foot was through my cervix. Had no idea she was breech.  :p
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers

  • @heml SO didn't come to any of my appointments with my first until my last scan at around 38 weeks (at which point baby was so big he couldn't see much on the screen). I think he regretted it a bit. Then after I had a bad US with our 2nd pregnancy he felt terrible for not being there. He has come to every US since. He doesn't come to the prenatal appointments but always the US appointments.
  • @leendenny My daughter reached through the cervix and grabbed the doctor's hand.
  • @leendenny because it will have been 5.5 years since my last CS they told me I am a good candidate for VBAC. Personally though I'm not comfortable taking the risk. Not with my age on top of everything else. I actually chose an OB this time based on the many papers he has written on the topic of VBAC. If I was younger and less anxious about EVERYTHING pregnancy related I might have given it a shot:)
  • @ketomommy ; whaaaat? That's wild!
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