December Randoms

inthewoods23

@marebear15 I'm curious how she took my photo where I circled all the newbie thread/must read threads at the top of the board.

I don't know how to make it any clearer

b_1029

@marebear15 DISLIKE, that’s dumb. 

b_1029

@inthewoods23 I saw that too and I agree with you. I would gain 100# if it meant I could be pregnant. I get that people go through a period of anxiety about all the body changes they'll have during pregnancy, and I can't say I won't mildly freak out a little, but my figure will be the least of my worries.

brookert615

Too funny. Maybe I should make a little animation video of what to do but make it friendly so I don't get a warning haha. It's physically painful to type up the same response so many times. READ THE RULES. DON'T POST PEE STICKS. DON'T ASK IF YOU'RE KU. 

kiki047

@brookert615 don't post ANY bodily fluids either! I didn't think that needed to be said until recently. Apparently I was wrong. 

brookert615

@kiki047 I'm pretty sure my brain tried to forget that lol.

b_1029

Did you all see she finally made it to the right thread (sans pics for the first time, unless my app just isn’t showing them) and proceeded to say she got chewed out by members who are “notoriously rude” to newbies? 😂 I can’t. 
Edited- can’t spell

grangerhp37

@b_1029 but how would she know who is notorious for anything when she’s clearly never lurked? 🤔

kagesstarshroom

When you join a new discourse community, learning the rules is common sense. You don't walk into a fancy salon you've never been to, for example, walk up to a stylist giving someone a blow dry and yell "I'D LIKE TO TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT GETTING A DYE JOB PLEASE" and think just bc you said please or whatever that behaving like that is okay. Before you step into your first college classroom, you go to orientation. When you show up on a board like this, it would only make sense to read the rules that announce READ ME FIRST. Or if you're like me you read them like four times... I guess the internet is still the Wild Wild West to some? 

To note, I tend to not read those drive-by posts. Is there a way to just report them to the BG rather than reply to them? Because I think it's ridiculous you got a warning, @marebear15, if you were polite & just directing her to what the rules she ignored state. Can we petition to get your warning removed!? I will write something in your defense! I am going to be a literal Doctor of the English language in May (FX)... I am fired up.

What's ultimately the most frustrating is that the drive-bys aren't merely outside of The Way Things Are Done Here, but could potentially ruin someone's Safe Space, as the rules of the board seem inclined to ensure this is a Safe Space, and I can appreciate that. That someone can't/wouldn't bother to read them or understand the community aspect of a space like this & why it being a Safe Space with rules is important--this is upsetting.

inthewoods23

@dogmomma096 ok good, I'm glad I'm not the only one that was confused when she said that! Seriously, how would she know???

Funny how most get all defensive instead of a "omg I'm so sorry!" Then again, I get way too concerned about following the rules and doing things properly

jennifer_louise

Well said @kagesstarshroom! I think what gets me most is how triggering some of the drive-bys can be. You're right that this is supposed to be our safe place. It seems like TB should have some rules about who can start a new thread? Like a longer lurking period or something? 

marebear15

@kagesstarshroom - I'm really not that worried about it. I think you get 3 warnings before a suspension or ban and after 6 months or so it starts over. This is my second account, and I have backup accounts, so it's like whatever. 
Also, I kind of understand why it's against the rules because obviously TB and BC are competing apps, so it'd make sense for them to get all riled about me telling someone to go to their rival.

inthewoods23

@jennifer_louise that wouldn't really work if someone creates an account but then doesn't use it. I created my account over 2 years ago but didn't participate on the boards until a few months ago. It would be nice if there was a way that automatically has them read the rules but I'm not sure that's possible.

@marebear15 what you said was true though, pics like that are posted in their own threads daily on BC.

Now if only people would stop squinting and inverting pictures. If it's that difficult to see... Test again later. Sheesh.

prpl11butterfly

We have the best customers.....for all you DD donut lovers....

lillywonderland

@prpl11butterfly ...but why is it cut so perfectly? Donuts are meant to be consumed WHOLE, man! 🤣 

Mmm. DD is the best.

prpl11butterfly

@lillywonderland because I needed to eat it without making a mess of me or my desk 😂 I have a VERY windowed office and customers around all the time....

b_1029

This is kind of doom and gloom but...does anyone have any tips for getting through the holidays? I know this is dramatic, but I kind of feel like Christmas is ruined for me this year. Other than seeing my family, I'm not really looking forward to all the holiday parties and such because I don't feel like celebrating when the only thing I want for Christmas isn't happening and I'm depressed. 

lulu1180

@b_1029 My love-tit is a hug.  I’m sorry you’re also dealing with all of that this time of year.  My advice is to not overdo it.  If you’re truly not feeling like going to an event, don’t go; as long as it is not something that you are looking forward to.  Also, don’t stay long and if people ask you about kids, have a response ready.  Whether it’s the truth or just an “excuse.”  IF in general sucks but this time of year the suckiness is compounded because the focus is so heavily on kids and family.  Also, have some plans for purposeful self-care.  Pick up some bath bombs or face masks or crossword puzzle books or whatever will best help you to take care of yourself.  

chichiphin

@b_1029 empower yourself to say "no" - to activities, parties, etc. You're allowed to. 

brookert615

@b_1029 I 100% agree with @lulu1180. Take the time to treat yourself and be firm with people if they decide to ask about TTC. Sending all of the hugs  .

kgg2241

@b_1029 I'm feeling this right now too. I think my advice would be to allow yourself to be sad. It is hard and it is okay to feel down. If you need to leave early or skip some gatherings, do it. You need to look out for you. 

b_1029

Thank you all for your advice. I truly appreciate all of you and hope you are able to take care of yourself during this season as well  
@lulu1180 @brookert615 @chichiphin @kgg2241

marebear15

Check out August. Someone's getting salty with suzycupcake!

lulu1180

@marebear15 What??  Where?!?  And why would anyone do that to her of all people??

brookert615

@marebear15 @lulu1180 Is it the gif the one girl posted in response when suzy was only trying to figure out their messy board organization? lol

kiki047

I miss suzycupcake already. Damn A19 is lucky to have her. 

marebear15

@brookert615 - The one with the guy name. Tyler or something.

brookert615

@marebear15 FOUND IT! Yeah that is rude. Glad she has some ladies backing her up! 

shamrocandroll

Okay, so... I mentioned this in my intro post on the newbie thread, but wanted to ask for some opinions here.  We lost our cat (15) last December, and our dog (13.5) this past October.  We had 2 fish that I don't really count as pets, and one just died on Monday.  It's been a bad year for us for pets.  We want to wait a while before getting another dog, and I am not interested in another cat.  I just don't feel right not having what I would consider a real pet right now.  Does anyone have any smaller pets they love?  I'd really like something relatively low maintenance, good for families, but also something that feels like a pet and can interact with you.  Not interested in birds or reptiles.  A bunny seems like too much work, and it gets COLD here in the winter, so we wouldn't be able to keep it in an outdoor hutch.  I've considered a rat because I've heard they're really smart and form bonds with their owners.  I don't have a fear of rodents.  Thoughts?  

inthewoods23

@shamrocandroll maybe a ferret, guinea pig, or chinchilla? I have a hedgehog, but they are not an easy pet.

shamrocandroll

@inthewoods23 I love ferrets, but I think I have to rule them out for the smell.  Are chinchillas pretty easy?  It's funny you say the hedgehog thing because I've always wanted one.  MH almost got me one for Christmas one year until he researched it and discovered how difficult they are.  

prpl11butterfly

@shamrocandroll we have a guinea pig! Hes sweet until hes had enough touching (which is actually quite a decent amount of time). Hes relatively low maintenance and eats all the discarded veggies. My BFF in HS had a rat (as did her sister) and they were cute little guys but I'm not sure on their care requirements.

marebear15

@shamrocandroll - My niece has a chinchilla as her first pet (she's 11), and she's able to take care of him pretty easily. 

shamrocandroll

@prpl11butterfly Do guinea pigs screech a lot?  My HS friend had one that used to screech, and it turned me off of them for a while, but I'm otherwise not opposed.  I like the idea of being able to give him veggies we'd otherwise toss.  I want something that doesn't mind being handled and isn't overly likely to bite.  Rodent bites are the WORST!

galentine

@b_1029, big creepy internet hugs your way. It's totally valid to be feeling down and gloomy. It's ok to say no to events if you aren't feeling up to them. I hope you are able to find a way to take care of yourself this holiday season ❤

inthewoods23

@shamrocandroll yeah I don't blame you about the ferret smell!

Hedgehogs aren't super difficult to care for, but they have a lot of considerations like the fact that they're nocturnal and require a high protein, low fat diet. They have to be in a particular temperature range because if it's too cold they can go into hibernation and die. We keep hand warmers in our house just in case of a power outage in the wintertime. Oh and they like to run, A LOT. We have the saucer type wheel and we've gone through at least 5 now since we got him a little over a year (or 2? I don't remember) ago.

shamrocandroll

@inthewoods23 I wouldn't say those things would put one out of the question for us.  I just want something that will show some kind of affection toward us.  Our walk out basement is pretty consistent with temperature.  It stays between 65-75 year round, and in the winter, we have fires in the wood stove down there and it gets really toasty warm.  What about leaving them for weekends?  We'd want something we can leave over the weekend without much issue.  

ETA tag

prpl11butterfly

@shamrocandroll he's pretty quiet unless he smells tomatoes. He KNOWS when I'm slicing them from the other room 🤣 

ruby696

@shamrocandroll I say guinea pig too! They totally have personalities once they get to know you. And they're super cute 😊

inthewoods23

@prpl11butterfly lol! Those darn noses!

@shamrocandroll DH and I are comfortable leaving him for a weekend if we have to. We just put an extra bowl of water (you could do a drip bottle like you would for other small mammals) and extra food and he's been fine. More than 2 nights and we'd probably ask family to come in and check on him and refill things. Some people have them in large plastic storage bins as their home (we have a large small mammals cage) so they're kinda portable if you really wanted to take them with you. DH always tells me no though