FFFC 11/30

meatballs37

Confess! 

meatballs37

I’ve let my toddler watch tv all week (Christmas movies and lots of Christmas music). Meanwhile I basically have been sitting on the couch on TB. I feel so bad that I haven’t done anything all week with her (one play date only). But anytime I stand for longer than ten minutes I feel like I’m going to vomit. 

I have also used leftover preseed for Doppler lubricant this week. 🙈  Still can’t find jack crap on the Doppler, maybe I should invest in an actual lubricant? I’ve heard aloe vera works as well. 

harrierwife

@meatballs37 - no judgement on using the preseed - that's just resourceful. 

harrierwife

So, I'm a bit salty right now for reasons I won't get into, but its inspiring my FFFC:

I HATE my Dad's family. His mother (my grandmother) is an entitled, ungrateful spoiled princess with nothing between her ears and no backbone. She treats my dad like total shit when he's done nothing but take care of her since my grandfather died 35 years ago. She's never worked a day in her life and my grandfather dropped dead at 55 with little savings or retirement and my father saw to it that she didn't have to work ever again despite that. She routinely throws my father under the bus and talks out of both sides of her mouth. I actively hate her. 

I hate her two daughters (my aunts), too. I won't air specifics, but they're awful people and I wish my dad would just cut ties with them already. He feels like he owes them - that they're family - but I feel differently. I dgaf who is family or not - I don't keep last week's trash around. 

I feel weird saying that I hate my grandmother, but I do. She's an awful person. 

jhems776

My son's middle name is after H's father. I don't care for the man, not someone who I wanted my son to be named after. He actually pretty nice to people and is always there to help but a bit of a misogynist and homophobic, a bad old white mid-west stereotype. Like he was always there for the kids but always was the "fun parent" and put all the real parenting on his wife (still not sure H really realizes this but that's for another day).  For longer reasons I'm unsure of saying here I didn't end up fighting it. Now with our second son on the way I feel I have to use my dad's name as this son's middle name. My did IS actually a good and enlightened man. I don't mind doing it but I feel like we have to. 

chachacharrrmin

Sometimes (like today) when I'm working from home, I take conference calls from the toilet.

vv826

I'm mobile only on the bump and sometimes my phone thinks it knows best on what I want to say so I try to proof read everything but sometimes I see what's wrong and just don't care so I leave it.

srscott3

We’re in Texas right now for SIL’s wedding so I’m not participating much again..but I had a good-ish confession for today. 
I lurk the other boards and I saw a thread about cicumcision. At that moment I realized that I’ve never seen an uncircumcised penis. So I googled it, and I’ve come to the conclusion that uncircumcised penises look super weird. 

emeraldcity603

@srscott3 I gave DH the responsibility of deciding that one with DS2. He was on the fence until he sat through a seminar about complications with uncircumcised penises. He was so horrified by it that he has been team circumsize ever since. I don't think anything I could say would change his mind either. 

ohheyitsb

90% of what I ordered on Black Friday was for me.

Bababatty

@emeraldcity603 I’m curious what the complications are! I’ve only ever heard the potentials for circumcisions. 

I guess my related confession is that when DH and I were out to dinner the other week, we spent the time googling the history of circumcision and discussing it. Probably very educational for our neighbors. (I’m also leaving it up to DH; he seems ambivalent.)

mkfolse22

@Bababatty complications with uncircumcised come from improper care. Like it needs to be cleaned. The foreskin needs to be retracted so it doesn’t adhere and gotta make sure it’s put back or it can get stuck and cut off blood supply. Both of which can require surgery. 

messymyranda

Those complications weren't enough for me to have a son circumcised. If you aren't squeamish about cleaning your male child well and talking to them and teaching them to properly clean themselves the risk, to me, is not worth being scared over. Same for the possible increased ease of contracting HIV later in life. Have frank conversations with your kids and make sure they know how to have safe sex. 

misschanandlerbong15

@meatballs37 I use aloe vera gel with my doppler. works great

Bababatty

@mkfolse22 Well that’s terrifying! I knew it has to be cleaned but had no idea about that. We’re definitely planning to look more into the pros and cons of both sides. 

Erin1510

I’m having like 1.5oz of wine right now.

I’m 14w1d and have had a week to say the least. Husband opened a bottle of red and I took a super small pour. Between a cold/congestion last weekend and most of this week and my son having a stomach virus yesterday and waking us up to an exorcism style scene in his bedroom at 3am due to it I just needed it

battleangel

I really don’t want my mom involved in raising my child. She won’t listen to me when it comes to my DOG, why would she listen to me when it comes to my child? “Mom don’t feed the dog table scraps at the table or at all.” “Oh it’s just a little bit of chicken! It’s fine!” And then she gets mad that my dog is jumping on her at the table and breathing her stinky dog breath on her. 

emeraldcity603

Sorry if I scared anyone about circumcision. I did not intend to do that. I was just telling the story of how my husband decided. 

Also a note about boys.....they are disgusting. Especially teenage boys. I have always taught my son to have good hygiene but that boy thinks nothing of going a week without a shower or even brushing his teeth. One day I nearly puked bc of his breath. They do not care and you can tell them all day long to clean there penis properly but unless you are in their making sure it's getting done, you have no clue. 

I'm not saying all boys are like that but a lot of them are. I'm appalled sometimes and so confused bc I have always taught him good hygiene. The smells are so awful. 🤢

All these things are also likely contributing factors to DH's decision. 

catmommac

I let my DH take the reigns on the circumcision conversation because I felt, well, I don’t have have the equipment so how can I fully understand? He researched and decided in favor of it. I supported his decision for the same reason.

mkfolse22

@emeraldcity603 I think it’s good you brought it up. Makes people think and take the time to research. It really is a big important decision and should be thought out. 

emeraldcity603

I agree it is a personal decision. If this baby happens to be a boy, we aren't going to do it at the hospital. Instead we plan to go to a urologist to have it done. They numb the area fully instead of just providing sugar water. Plus, we want to leave the hospital asap. 

Bababatty

@emeraldcity603 I completely agree with @mkfolse22--thank you for bringing it up! We're Team Green, but these are good things to think about. I did wonder what one does when your kids are in the awkward hygiene stage of you're no longer cleaning them but they somehow haven't mastered proper cleaning themselves. Not looking forward to those years!

emeraldcity603

@bababatty I have to treat him like a toddler and make him brush and floss in front of me. As far as his penis, I'm not micromanaging that. 

harrierwife

I know its Saturday, but the circumcision talk inspired me to share something that I know is unpopular. 

I've come to believe that circumcision should be the individual's choice.

H does not agree. It will be an issue if we have a boy.

bakerstreetboys

I don’t think that circumcision is nearly as common in Canada. I have three boys and I’ve never even been asked if we want it done. They don’t do it in the hospitals where I live (in a major city), so you have to find a private doctor to do it. On the flip side of some of you ladies, I’ve never seen one that was circumcised!

tuxielove93

Re: circumcision. We decided not to do it, mostly because the benefits just aren’t significant, so why would we put our son through that and incur the downsides? But to any US moms who DONT want it done, be extremely clear with everyone of your doctors and his and all the nurses and everyone who comes in your room basically that you do not want it done or else they might end up doing it without your permission. It’s still standard enough practice that if you don’t make a big deal out of it they will do it as part of the regular newborn care. They nearly took my son to get circumcised even though we were absolutely not having it done. 

canuckbaby

@bakerstreetboys really? Everyone i know with a boy got asked in hospital if they wanted it done. I definitely know my nephew was while they were still admitted. Its just not covered by our health care plan

bakerstreetboys

@canuckbaby Maybe it varies from province to province. Most of my friends have boys too, and no one has had their son done, nor were they asked. It even goes back a couple of generations where no one has had it done!

011sammie017

To add my two cents: My nephew was not circumcised at birth but had a very long foreskin. Despite his mother cleaning him as best she could, the length of the foreskin made it hard. It wouldn't even roll back till 2y, and then it caused him some pain. The doctors thought it would sort itself out (he'd grow into it?) but by 7y he'd had several infections and was still having trouble pulling it back to clean properly etc. He had a circumcision at 8 years old. He's now 18 and if you ask, he's happy he had the operation done. Say's its a lot easier, though there are some differences he said he had to get used to-TMI. His opinion is that if he did not have the problems he had, he'd have been happy being uncut too. 
I've left the decision up to DH. I think unless it's medically required, we wont. 

antera23

Thank you all for sharing your opinions regarding circumcision. My SO and I hadn’t talked about it before but we did last night. I think we’ve decided not to circumcise if our baby is a boy. 

KissMeImScottish

I would just like to say I appreciate everyone’s civility regarding this topic. It’s one that people can get very heated about and that turns into rudeness very quickly - I do not appreciate AT ALL being told that I have mutilated my sons (which has happened in this discussion in the past) so, despite differing opinions, my respect for you women is very high.

I left it to my husband to make the decision for our sons and he opted to do so. Like others have said, I felt that I don’t have the equipment, he does. That said, if it had been to me to decide, I personally would have opted to do so anyway, mostly because I have friends that are nurses who have told me stories about elderly men who have come into the hospital or who aren’t in nursing homes who are no longer able to properly care for themselves (hygiene wise) that end up having to have a circumcision and it’s traumatizing. I also have a friend (like someone mentioned above) who has a son that was not circumcised who needed to be at around the age of 5 and though he does not regret the circumsicion, he does regret the operation, which he remembers. Combined with my husband’s feelings that, as a circumcised man himself, he feels better equipped to teach our sons how to care for themselves properly if that care mirrors his own, and my father’s own feelings (expressed through my mother) that he wished, growing up in the locker room, that he had been circumcised, we opted to have our boys be done. We did research the methods used (there are 4 techniques doctors practice) and we made sure we asked which one the doctor performing the surgery used before we committed and signed the paperwork.

@tuxielove93, I am sorry you had that experience - that surprises me, honestly, because both times we had it done, it’s not a procedure they can just take baby back and do as part of normal newborn care unless you have signed consent forms and gone over specific risks (like any surgery). Just performing the surgery without that consent form is a lawsuit waiting to happen and I would be concerned about the hospital that did that to you.

emeraldcity603

I agree, it is nice to have both views discussed without shaming and saying hurtful things. I was also glad we could discuss BF in the same manner. It makes our board a safe place to discuss these things. 

dntstpbelieveing

I'll admit when I first saw circumcision brought up I was like crap there goes the civility. Way to go everyone! 

messymyranda

I have a friend that's due to have a little boy any day and as a couple they can't agree on this. She's from the Ukraine, they don't really do circumcision there, or most of Europe really. He on the other hand wants his son to be like him. I don't really envy them that argument. Thankfully my husband and I are on the same page. 

anonellis

@tuxielove93 that’s crazy!  We planned to have it done privately outside of the hospital, but did not get the impression that anyone at the hospital was pushing it on us.  I think we were asked once if we wanted it done.  We live in a very Jewish and progressive city (and are Jewish ourselves), so I’ve heard it’s actually NOT that common to have it done in the hospital here.  There’s a trend towards not having it done anymore, and also a lot of the people who do have it done want it done outside the hospital. 

canuckbaby

I personally think it should follow whatever dad has as they will be most relatable. 

Dcwtada

Re: circumsicion - I had my first 2 sons circumsized (our hospital double checked, doctor came in to confirm and had us sign a form before they did it) and never noticed a single issue or trauma from it - both my boys were gone for less than 30 minutes and came back without pain (although I cannot speak for the procedure itself) I do find myself torn this time around. While I do not think it is in any way similar to female circumsicion like some moms I know, I do worry about me making that decision for them. Honestly i am a tad conflicted. 

FFFC - I have trained my husband this pregnancy whenever he goes shopping anywhere (menards, home depot, gas station, the UPS store...) he has to come home with a treat for me. I got sparkling grape juice and bagel chips with Merks cheese yesterday. I may keep this one. 

canuckbaby

Lol @Dcwtada hmmm i might have to try that out but my husband is usually into stopping somewhere for himself so i generally benefit from that

ridermissus

Perhaps a circumcision thread should be started?

dntstpbelieveing

There always has to be one....

dntstpbelieveing

I really need to remember the qfp button.