My sister and her husband do kind of a Santa-compromise -- which I'll probably steal for ours down the road. Santa comes to visit, but he only brings one or two small toys, and anything else is from Mom and Dad. They didn't want Santa to get all the credit for the cool stuff, and give their kids unrealistic expectations about what he can bring them -- but they wanted to let them enjoy some of that magic when they're little.
My UO, which I feel a little bad about typing today -- I don't enjoy kids' stuff, like, at all. If I could give birth to a 10-year-old, I gladly would. Snuggles are great, and the funny things they say sometimes are entertaining, but the endless hours of PJ Masks-style "humor" and WATCH ME JUMP OFF THIS STEP!!!! and dance recitals where they stand there awkwardly and then you have to act like they were Misty Copeland...none of that remotely appeals to me. I had to quit reading the BF thread for a little bit because realizing it takes THAT much effort and is such an emotional rollercoaster just to feed a kid freaked me out. I actually feel LESS equipped to do this now, not more, which isn't a critique of that thread in the slightest (that's a super, super useful thread that I'll have to go back and re-read like 19 more times) -- it's a critique of myself. I don't understand when my friends post pictures of their 3-month-old babies and say "time please slow down" because I can't imagine WANTING that phase to last...like, get me through it ASAP so they can be potty-trained and into the more fun phase where literally everything they do doesn't depend on me. I was the unicorn who HAPPILY volunteered with my church's middle school group because I find them far, far, far more enjoyable to be around than little kids. Obviously I want this baby, but if/when we adopt #2, I'm very much not opposed to adopting a non-baby (however old they are) and skipping over the infancy/really-early-childhood stuff (which -- I know that has challenges of its own, but I feel a lot more equipped for those struggles, and have more of a heart for them, than for baby-related ones), and until then I'm hoping everyone and their dog who told me over the last 10 years that "it's different when it's your own kid" is right.
@BlondePeanut@luckystar28 I don’t have FB either, but am debating making one just for BMB purposes. I just don’t like or want all my personal information out there.
We do Santa but he only brings something small. You better believe I am getting credit for gifts. We have not had a crying santa visit yet but when we go we go with my son and my best friends daughter who is a year older and have them stand in front of santa. I dont dig the lap thing. (but that also goes back to my profession)
We do not do the Easter bunny. We are not very religious. As in not religious at all. We celebrate Christmas because of family obligation/ material reasons but I personally do not see how one can celebrate Easter if you are not religious. That is a big UO in my family. Easter is not actually about a bunny people.
I also find baths in general to be gross. You are laying in dirty water. I have not taken a bath in probably 20 years.
@TJtheGoat that was my reason for not making one. and I feel like anyone I want to be in contact with has my phone # so I don't want to be tracked down by people I don't want to find me (biggest reason is because I had a past abusive relationship where I was stalked and I also am fearful of sickos trying to steal my daughters pictures). My last group I connected with one of the ladies very well so we keep in contact through email on a regular basis since we live many states away from eachother.
As a young child my friend and I were pretty inseparable and would even go with each other to the bathroom. One day she announced that her mom said it was ok for her to pee in the shower and while I was using the toilet got in the dry shower and peed. I was pretty sure even then that that's not what her mom had meant lol
@ki1244 I dont think your feelings are invalid. I actually THOUGHT I was a baby (like newborn) person, until I had my own and was like WHOA this is only fun sometimes, and the rest of the time it kind of sucks. I definitely learned that I'm not a baby baby person like that. Its more fun to hold someone else's baby. And, DD is only 18 months so I'm not full blown into everything yet, but shes so much more fun to me than any other kid I've ever interacted with. While you may enjoy the older stuff more, I suspect some of the younger age stuff wont be as torturous as you might think - it IS a little different when you made them and they're of course, perfect hah!
I pee in the shower too 🤷🏻♀️ I go before I get in usually but sometimes getting in the water makes me have to pee suddenly and I'm not about to get back out.
I think being a nurse pee/poop/vomit has never bothered me. I change diapers at work and at home haha But I must say I do take joy in watching my husband gag changing poop diapers.
@emeraldcity603 I don't know why, but growing up Santa and Jesus seemed like two separate but coinciding events. I don't know how it happened that I just felt like both were important, but not related. DH and I aren't strongly religious anymore, and I always loved Christmas and Santa, so I'm very excited about doing the Santa-thing with my kiddo. And the same with all of the other holidays.
Weirdly, Easter was also another holiday where I feel like I knew there were just two separate things happening on the same day. But I love bunnies, so we are definitely doing Easter baskets and the Easter bunny. Those are some of the most exciting and fun memories I have with my parents growing up. Around Easter we also had a custom where we had this statue of Jesus and we would take him down off the crucifix and clean him, wrap him in a cloth and put him in this little tomb box that my brother and I made. Then on Easter my mom would take him out of the box and leave the box slightly ajar to represent that he had risen. I'm not sure if that was a specific custom that had been in my family or not to be honest. So maybe because we did stuff like that it helped me to do things that were symbolic but learn they were separate. And both were activities that were both fun and instructive for me as a kid.
My UO - I think overly decorated nurseries are a waste of time and money. Is your newborn going to remember having a cool nursery? No. Is your 5yo going to remember having a cool room? No.
I honestly think it’s a pissing contents for parents to show how awesome they are at decorating their child’s bedroom. I also think it’s forcing yourself onto your child, just because they’re a girl doesn’t mean they’re going to be into the princess themed room you force onto her. If you’re into that then that’s fine, but I won’t be trying to please the masses with a perfectly styled room for my child. When they’re older (12 or 13) they can choose to paint a feature wall to their liking.
@wiseh +for overdone nurseries. I love looking at them and am all over the thread of the nursery ideas but we wont be doing any real themes except maybe a mobile and bedding set matching. The walls in our future baby room is currently Oilers colors (blue white and orange) sooo maybe forcing that onto our kid girl or boy but its pre existing not something we did because of baby
UO: pictures of kids eating, with it smeared all over their face/body/high chair, are disgusting and no one wants to see that mess. 🙅🏻♀️ Especially spaghetti or things with ground beef. Nope nope nope
@wiseh Uh hold up. I definitely remember my room as a little kid. I even remember painting and decorating it. And picking it out (101 dalmatioms) And I was 4. So the 5 year old can definitely remember their room. Plus, even if they don’t remember it as they get older, allowing them the choice and freedom to decorate their space is pretty important to me in parenting.
Hubby and Me Friends since 2008 Started dating: July 1st, 2013 Engaged: July 1st, 2014 Married: July 1st, 2016 R born: July 8th, 2017 N born: June 30th, 2019 Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022 (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
As for the nursery mostly my biggest advice is pick something you want to look at because I spent a ton of time staring at the walls of my sons nursery. If it rings you joy then that is what matters because there are a lot of hours spent staring at those walls.
@dntstpbelieveing, exactly this. I wanted a room for my kids that -I- felt good in because I knew that at 3 am, I didn’t want to be sitting in a room that did nothing for me. A decorated, put together room makes me feel calm and relaxed, so for me, decorating their nurseries was a way to feel connected to them before they were born and to feel like I wasn’t going out of my mind later when I was sitting in there for the fifth time that night at 4:30 am because baby can’t sleep. I spend care and time on decorating the rest of my house - why not the same time and care on my kids’ rooms?
Married 25 May, 2013 William Alexander born 18 September, 2015 Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017 Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017 Bowen James due 19 June, 2019
I love a decorated nursery. And a decorated house for that matter. Ours I would say isn’t elaborate by any means. We live in a cozy little cape cod. But seeing photos on the wall and having snuggly blankets on the couch makes me happy. I also remember helping pick out things for my room when I was about 6. I was so darn proud of my rainbow heart comforter. Hello early 90’s ha!
@wiseh Just curious, are you going to have plain white everything with zero on the walls? Because babies do learn and develop from their interaction with colors and shapes. Or did you just mean you don’t like a theme and something neutral is more your taste?
I also love a good messy baby. First birthdays are the best! I had spaghetti for my first birthday and we did the same for DD (we did a lady and the tramp first birthday since we affectionately call her our meatball). It’s so neat to have a photo of me at my first birthday and DD as well with spaghetti everywhere.
Messy babies are a big no for me. I teach my kids early on we don't throw and I also teach them to keep their hands away from the spoon when I feed them. I don't want to have to bathe them everytime I feed them. That is a ton of work.
I also enjoy picking stuff out to go in my baby's room. Most of my stuff is handmade so a lot of love went into it. When DD1 moved to a big kid bed I chose the bed and the comforter and I also gave her a decorative dresser that is painted really pretty. I have had that dresser for years and it's so girly and pretty I couldn't imagine my daughter not wanting it. Luckily she is so unbelievably girly so it worked out. I don't know what I would do if one of my girls weren't "girly." I would eventually adapt but it is so foreign to me I can't even imagine it.
I agree on the nurseries. We did pick a theme for DD but it was more just accents in the room. Won’t be doing anything this time since we don’t have an extra room right now. Baby will just be in our room.
I love a messy baby! We did baby led weaning so every meal was messy. Not always bath messy but it was such fun to watch her learn.
I also will say I do not regret building an over the top big boy bed for DS. He LOVES it. It was a super smooth transition from the crib and he talks about his dozer bed all the time. Between all of the pictures and how long he will be in it (plus how cool everyone else thinks it is), he will definitely remember it.
I will say we 100% decorated the nursery for myself and DH's taste. It's all baseballs and airplanes. Baseball because that's what DH loves and airplanes because they were made for DH by his dad when he was a kid. When we move DS out of the nursery I will try to decorate to this taste and at this point it's looking like it will be cars. Which I find terribly boring but he loves so we'll go with it.
The only messy baby pictures I like are first birthday ones. Otherwise, clean that kid up. But maybe this is because DS is such a messy eater and it's so much work to clean up that I don't find it cute. From about 12-15 months when he was eating he would rub it in his hair. It was awful.
@dntstpbelieveing that bed is so amazing! I wish I had the ability to build something like that for my kids. I would just have to buy it though. I agree, he will definitely remember it. I would imagine it will be a fond memory too.
This nursery talk is making me sad. We're military and in a rental right now so we aren't going to decorate until we're in our permanent home in 2020/2021. Furthermore, we only have one spare room for a nursery that's now serving as a guest room......its tiny and we have very nice furniture in it with no place to store it, so its staying right where it is.
Baby's crib is going in the very wide, but shallow closet that will be a nice little alcove once we take the closet doors off. I always had visions of a nicely decorated nursery (that was of course, for myself! ) but its just not in the cards for us right now. I cannot wait until MH is out of the military.
I'll probably find a way to jazz up the alcove with a canopy and mobiles and stuff, but I'm still sad.
@harrierwife DH is military as well so I totally get it. We bought a house at the last duty station so I did set up a nursery. This duty station we live in a much smaller place and I don’t want to give up the guest room. We’re living in FL now so I know we’ll need it.
@harrierwife to be honest, I did a full nursery and hardly used it the first six months of my baby's life. She hung out in my bedroom with me, and slept in a bassinet next to my bed. Those little alcove nurseries can be so cute!! If I had that as a choice, I honestly might have even chosen that.
@harrierwife, white walls were the bane of my existence before we finally bought (keeping in mind that MH has been in 15 years and is literally, a week ago, signed his final reenlistmebt contract). We’ve lived in rentals in town, with roommates, and in housing. So. Many. White. Walls. I went nuts when we finally bought and I literally painted the entire house. The only rooms I haven’t gotten to yet are the bathrooms. But I still decorated my oldest’s nursery, I just used colors other than places on the walls and made sure it was stuff that could come with us. And an alcove nursery is going to be totally adorable - like you said, make it sweet! Put crib sheets that you love, splurge a little on the crib itself, get a pretty canopy and indulge in the mobile and maybe some artwork for the walls. Put up some shelves for books/stuffed animals, photos. Give yourself a little chair nook. I totally get the disappointment, but by not having to spend a ton of money on the big furniture pieces, you’ll be able to have so many sweet, quality touches.
Married 25 May, 2013 William Alexander born 18 September, 2015 Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017 Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017 Bowen James due 19 June, 2019
@harrierwife I feel you. When DS was born we lived with my parents and we’re planning on moving, so I didn’t set up a nursery. By the time we got into our own apartment, I had realized that he was going to be sleeping with us for a good long time, so I still haven’t really set up a room for him. He has a playroom, but I can’t paint or anything except for gray which to me is just as awful as white anyways. Plus, we’re planning on buyin a house at the end of next year, so here we go again. No nursery. Not even sure I would set one up knowing the baby was likely to be with us for at least a year again but still...... Im trying to focus on giving them amazing rooms as they get older when they can pick it up and love it. I’m not even sure what I would put in a nursery considering we don’t even get a crib, I don’t do changing tables, a glider in an empty room would be sad, and any baby paraphernalia I have is where we use it, mostly the living room. It would probably be giant storage room for awhile anyways. Even still, I’m sad I don’t get the “setting up a nursery” experience.
@KissMeImScottish nothing motivates me more to buy a house than white walls. I hate it. They normally have to repaint inbetween renters anyways, so I cannot fathom why they don’t let people paint rentals. I get not wanting bold colors, but covering up pastel blues and greens is not that much harder than painting over white, and I really think it would make people happier and take better care of their apartments. I just can’t feel at home in white walls, and it just fuels me wanting to leave and not caring as much about the place I live in. Heck, I would gladly repaint white if I could just paint in the first place.
Hubby and Me Friends since 2008 Started dating: July 1st, 2013 Engaged: July 1st, 2014 Married: July 1st, 2016 R born: July 8th, 2017 N born: June 30th, 2019 Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022 (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
@vv826, but I would actually totally do that...haha, I would actually love (in another lifetime) to be an interior decorator. Unfortunately, my wallet doesn’t support that particular hobby in my own home most of the time, but I LOVE designing spaces.
Married 25 May, 2013 William Alexander born 18 September, 2015 Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017 Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017 Bowen James due 19 June, 2019
@KissMeImScottish we may need to talk, the artistic/creativity gene not only skipped me completely but it hit me with a truck just to make sure I didn’t get any ideas. We are designing this house from scratch and I am nervous. DH has more taste than me and that is saying something lol.
@KissMeImScottish can I join the waiting list for your services? I'm not kidding. At all. This spring I set aside $500 to decorate my living room -- we have a SUPER comfy sectional that I love, but other than that, I was open to anything. And after 4 months of not doing anything with it, we said screw it and parlayed it into a trip to Disney World for our anniversary. If we wind up moving this spring, we'll probably wind up downsizing and I'm going to need some creativity (it'll 100% be a rental, no sense in buying when we don't know how long we'll be anywhere).
@meatballs37 I’m totally fine with a feature wall, but all out is a bit much for me. Also, I think it’s a bit insensitive to tell me my child will miss out on development because I don’t expose it to colours and shapes on the walls of its nursery. We’ll probably have white walls in the nursery at my parents house as we’re converting my sister’s bedroom into the nursery, and then after 6-12 months we’ll be moving into a rental home so won’t get a choice in the colour of the walls. The rest of my parents house is full of colours and shapes.
I’m also a big advocate of not using bedrooms as play rooms, so I want it to be as plain as possible so they actually sleep in there and don’t associate it with play time.
Yeah, I never said your baby specifically was going to miss out on development. Not my intention. I was merely pointing out ways color on the walls could be beneficial and isn’t just merely a “pissing contest” or waste.
I am all for having control of my house for as long as I can. My toddler now has a HUGE opinion that makes almost everything we do a lot more difficult. That’s fine I want her that way. But at least now the nursery is something I love. I will have plenty of time to hate everything she wants to do in there for the remainder of her life. Right now she only wants to wear one shirt. She hasn’t figured out she gets an opinion in bedding and wall color and I love that.
There is also the favt that we essentailly just bought a house for this child and her soon to be sibling. I’m swimming in debt right now- for the time being its going to look the way I want. They can get a say later
Re: UO 11/29
My UO, which I feel a little bad about typing today -- I don't enjoy kids' stuff, like, at all. If I could give birth to a 10-year-old, I gladly would. Snuggles are great, and the funny things they say sometimes are entertaining, but the endless hours of PJ Masks-style "humor" and WATCH ME JUMP OFF THIS STEP!!!! and dance recitals where they stand there awkwardly and then you have to act like they were Misty Copeland...none of that remotely appeals to me. I had to quit reading the BF thread for a little bit because realizing it takes THAT much effort and is such an emotional rollercoaster just to feed a kid freaked me out. I actually feel LESS equipped to do this now, not more, which isn't a critique of that thread in the slightest (that's a super, super useful thread that I'll have to go back and re-read like 19 more times) -- it's a critique of myself. I don't understand when my friends post pictures of their 3-month-old babies and say "time please slow down" because I can't imagine WANTING that phase to last...like, get me through it ASAP so they can be potty-trained and into the more fun phase where literally everything they do doesn't depend on me. I was the unicorn who HAPPILY volunteered with my church's middle school group because I find them far, far, far more enjoyable to be around than little kids. Obviously I want this baby, but if/when we adopt #2, I'm very much not opposed to adopting a non-baby (however old they are) and skipping over the infancy/really-early-childhood stuff (which -- I know that has challenges of its own, but I feel a lot more equipped for those struggles, and have more of a heart for them, than for baby-related ones), and until then I'm hoping everyone and their dog who told me over the last 10 years that "it's different when it's your own kid" is right.
We do not do the Easter bunny. We are not very religious. As in not religious at all. We celebrate Christmas because of family obligation/ material reasons but I personally do not see how one can celebrate Easter if you are not religious. That is a big UO in my family. Easter is not actually about a bunny people.
I also find baths in general to be gross. You are laying in dirty water. I have not taken a bath in probably 20 years.
I think being a nurse pee/poop/vomit has never bothered me. I change diapers at work and at home haha But I must say I do take joy in watching my husband gag changing poop diapers.
Weirdly, Easter was also another holiday where I feel like I knew there were just two separate things happening on the same day. But I love bunnies, so we are definitely doing Easter baskets and the Easter bunny. Those are some of the most exciting and fun memories I have with my parents growing up. Around Easter we also had a custom where we had this statue of Jesus and we would take him down off the crucifix and clean him, wrap him in a cloth and put him in this little tomb box that my brother and I made. Then on Easter my mom would take him out of the box and leave the box slightly ajar to represent that he had risen. I'm not sure if that was a specific custom that had been in my family or not to be honest. So maybe because we did stuff like that it helped me to do things that were symbolic but learn they were separate. And both were activities that were both fun and instructive for me as a kid.
I honestly think it’s a pissing contents for parents to show how awesome they are at decorating their child’s bedroom. I also think it’s forcing yourself onto your child, just because they’re a girl doesn’t mean they’re going to be into the princess themed room you force onto her. If you’re into that then that’s fine, but I won’t be trying to please the masses with a perfectly styled room for my child. When they’re older (12 or 13) they can choose to paint a feature wall to their liking.
Friends since 2008
Started dating: July 1st, 2013
Engaged: July 1st, 2014
Married: July 1st, 2016
R born: July 8th, 2017
N born: June 30th, 2019
Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
(maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
William Alexander born 18 September, 2015
Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017
Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017
Bowen James due 19 June, 2019
@wiseh Just curious, are you going to have plain white everything with zero on the walls? Because babies do learn and develop from their interaction with colors and shapes. Or did you just mean you don’t like a theme and something neutral is more your taste?
I also love a good messy baby. First birthdays are the best! I had spaghetti for my first birthday and we did the same for DD (we did a lady and the tramp first birthday since we affectionately call her our meatball). It’s so neat to have a photo of me at my first birthday and DD as well with spaghetti everywhere.
I also enjoy picking stuff out to go in my baby's room. Most of my stuff is handmade so a lot of love went into it. When DD1 moved to a big kid bed I chose the bed and the comforter and I also gave her a decorative dresser that is painted really pretty. I have had that dresser for years and it's so girly and pretty I couldn't imagine my daughter not wanting it. Luckily she is so unbelievably girly so it worked out. I don't know what I would do if one of my girls weren't "girly." I would eventually adapt but it is so foreign to me I can't even imagine it.
I love a messy baby! We did baby led weaning so every meal was messy. Not always bath messy but it was such fun to watch her learn.
The only messy baby pictures I like are first birthday ones. Otherwise, clean that kid up. But maybe this is because DS is such a messy eater and it's so much work to clean up that I don't find it cute. From about 12-15 months when he was eating he would rub it in his hair. It was awful.
Baby's crib is going in the very wide, but shallow closet that will be a nice little alcove once we take the closet doors off. I always had visions of a nicely decorated nursery (that was of course, for myself!
I'll probably find a way to jazz up the alcove with a canopy and mobiles and stuff, but I'm still sad.
William Alexander born 18 September, 2015
Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017
Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017
Bowen James due 19 June, 2019
for him. He has a playroom, but I can’t paint or anything except for gray which to me is just as awful as white anyways.
Plus, we’re planning on buyin a house at the end of next year, so here we go again. No nursery.
Not even sure I would set one up knowing the baby was likely to be with us for at least a year again but still......
Im trying to focus on giving them amazing rooms as they get older when they can pick it up and love it. I’m not even sure what I would put in a nursery considering we don’t even get a crib, I don’t do changing tables, a glider in an empty room would be sad, and any baby paraphernalia I have is where we use it, mostly the living room. It would probably be giant storage room for awhile anyways.
Even still, I’m sad I don’t get the “setting up a nursery” experience.
@KissMeImScottish nothing motivates me more to buy a house than white walls. I hate it. They normally have to repaint inbetween renters anyways, so I cannot fathom why they don’t let people paint rentals. I get not wanting bold colors, but covering up pastel blues and greens is not that much harder than painting over white, and I really think it would make people happier and take better care of their apartments. I just can’t feel at home in white walls, and it just fuels me wanting to leave and not caring as much about the place I live in. Heck, I would gladly repaint white if I could just paint in the first place.
Friends since 2008
Started dating: July 1st, 2013
Engaged: July 1st, 2014
Married: July 1st, 2016
R born: July 8th, 2017
N born: June 30th, 2019
Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
(maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
@KissMeImScottish so can I just send you a picture of my room and tell me were I can set up a nice little section for this lo? lol but really.
William Alexander born 18 September, 2015
Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017
Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017
Bowen James due 19 June, 2019
I’m also a big advocate of not using bedrooms as play rooms, so I want it to be as plain as possible so they actually sleep in there and don’t associate it with play time.
Yeah, I never said your baby specifically was going to miss out on development. Not my intention. I was merely pointing out ways color on the walls could be beneficial and isn’t just merely a “pissing contest” or waste.
There is also the favt that we essentailly just bought a house for this child and her soon to be sibling. I’m swimming in debt right now- for the time being its going to look the way I want. They can get a say later