Hey @kbirchtree my husband and I are on the fence as well. We've researched and watched the procedure and I've talked to a friend who has seen it done in person in the hospital we are delivering at. We both feel like it's rather unecessary and will likely choose to leave our son in tact if we are having a boy. All of his male family members and all of mine are circ. to our knowledge, but we feel more at peace with one decision over the other.
I feel like this is a big decision as it is a medical procedure that can have potential side effects to your child. My best advice is to do your research and make a decision you are confident with. As a parent you should be making an educated decision rather than doing such a procedure blindly. My personal opinion if you decide to go ahead with it research the procedure and reputations of the Dr.’s performing it and pain management. I have a lot of friends that just did it blindly because they couldn’t bare the thought....but yet still put their newborn son through it. They also said it was awful but couldn’t justify why they did it To me that doesn’t seem fair.
Just throwing out this experience. We went back and forth a lot on this with our first. We decided to circumcise but then after he was born he ended up not being a good candidate. The circumcision would have deformed him so of course we didn't. We were able to do it when he was a year old because he had outgrown the thing that made him a bad candidate but decided not to so we didn't have to put him under general anesthesia and all that for something that was just superficial at that point. We'll leave our second uncircumcised so they look alike.
Rare situation but I bring it up only to say, like with all thing in parenthood, be willing to have to shift gears when thing don't work out as you planned. And it will all be ok. I haven't found anything about taking care of an uncircumcised boy difficult in the slightest.
We didn't have our first and won't if baby number 2 is a boy. We didn't feel the need culturally or aesthetically. It will be a conversation DH and little one will have one day.. We are content with our decision.
I did a fair amount of research and we decided not to circumcise. The pros just didnt outweigh the cons to us. We talked to a few friends who weren't circumcised and they never had issues so with it not being medically necessary and us not being Jewish, we decided it wasn't something we wanted to do.
I'm having a boy and and very much against circumcision. This is going to sound harsh, but circumcision is a pretty word for mutilating the penis. My partner is circumcised and very angry about it. We would all be horrified if somone suggested we do the same thing to a girl. I get the religion aspect, but there is no medical reason to cut off his foreskin other than for aesthetic reasons and the idea that it's "cleaner". I wouldn't cut off my daughters labia, I'm not cutting off my son's foreskin.
@berky84 I’m lurking from May but wanted to echo what you said about being ready to adjust expectations even when you think you have really firm parenting beliefs. It’s so true.
My son also had a deformity, but we had the opposite situation — his was fixed by a circumcison. We got multiple opinions and all were pretty adamant that without one he would have had lifelong problems. It was done when he was a bit older under anesthesia by a urologist. I’m sensitive when people call it mutilation because in our situation it was no different than any other surgery you might do for your child if all the doctors strongly recommended it. It was an early example of thinking we knew everything before we had kids, and being brought down to reality quickly once we were actually living it.
My initial thought was to leave the decision to DH. He is circumcised, has no issues/resentment about it, and is fine having our son circumcised.
But after reading this post, I felt I should do some "research" on the topic. I didn't comb the scientific/medical peer-reviewed journals, but I did check the American Academy of Pediatrics and American Urological Associations' position; both say the benefits outweigh the risks. So if my son is a candidate for circumcision after birth and pain meds are used, both DH and I are comfortable with our decision to do it.
Re: Boy moms question... sensitive topic.
if you decide to go ahead with it research the procedure and reputations of the Dr.’s performing it and pain management. I have a lot of friends that just did it blindly because they couldn’t bare the thought....but yet still put their newborn son through it. They also said it was awful but couldn’t justify why they did it
Rare situation but I bring it up only to say, like with all thing in parenthood, be willing to have to shift gears when thing don't work out as you planned. And it will all be ok. I haven't found anything about taking care of an uncircumcised boy difficult in the slightest.
My son also had a deformity, but we had the opposite situation — his was fixed by a circumcison. We got multiple opinions and all were pretty adamant that without one he would have had lifelong problems. It was done when he was a bit older under anesthesia by a urologist. I’m sensitive when people call it mutilation because in our situation it was no different than any other surgery you might do for your child if all the doctors strongly recommended it. It was an early example of thinking we knew everything before we had kids, and being brought down to reality quickly once we were actually living it.
But after reading this post, I felt I should do some "research" on the topic. I didn't comb the scientific/medical peer-reviewed journals, but I did check the American Academy of Pediatrics and American Urological Associations' position; both say the benefits outweigh the risks. So if my son is a candidate for circumcision after birth and pain meds are used, both DH and I are comfortable with our decision to do it.