FFFC 11/9

runyogamom

Confess your deepest secrets.
Or just about the extra dessert you had so I can have dessert envy.
I'm not picky.

kjr9519

This one is really tame. I haven’t been able to eat any foods I normally enjoy because of ms. But last night, I had not one or two, but three different vivid dreams about me pigging out on food. Two of them were about regular food and dessert and the last one was all about candy. I think I may have a food problem...

amaren-2

I voted for FL Governor out of self preservation. I work for a non-profit and one candidate openly wanted to reduce our program. Uhhh. I like my job and the work I do for the community.

Erin1510

The only reason I'm at work today is so I can hoard as many sick days as possible to get paid longer during my leave at the end of the school year/beginning of next. We have a half-day for students (teachers work a full for report card prep). I teach resource room (special education) and already have all my progress reports done. On top of that, we have two separate assemblies today so all but one of my groups is canceled for that. I will see students from 8:45-9:15 and that it...and I have to work until 3:40. 

Buuut...like I said, hoarding sick days. I will miss 8-10 days to end the year and then I am taking 12 weeks off in the fall so I want as many of those to be paid as possible. 

KissMeImScottish

My husband went out to sea today. I should be missing him, but I’m just glad I don’t have to think about sharing the bed or having sex for the next couple weeks. 🙈

ki1244

Prob going to land me on a post-it, but here's mine: I want a C-section. My mom and my sister both should have had one and for whatever reason didn't. Mom was two weeks overdue with me, and labor lasted upwards of 48 hours, and she begged for one but was told "you don't really need it" and "that's just pain meds talking" but later was told she should have had one and they were a few minutes away from an emergency when I finally decided to give up and come out (basically, that's the un-science-y version). My sister had 24+ hours of labor after being induced, and stalled during pushing, and wound up with some unimaginable tearing that took several hours of surgery to repair, to the point that she was told that any future pregnancy would be very risky for both herself and her baby. After the fact her OB said he probably should have made that call but "wasn't sure if she'd want that". I know two anecdotes are nothing compared to the billions of women who give birth vaginally, and C-sections aren't without risk either. But I'm so terrified of the thought of that happening (DH and I were both huge, so if history is any sort of predictor -- and since this one keeps measuring more and more ahead of schedule, I'm nervous it is -- we could be having a big kid) that I'd rather just take the different path altogether.

canuckbaby

@Erin1510 i am hoarding sick days too. But i get 6 months worth and reaccrue every pay cheque so if I use one its replenished by next pay. I am also hoarding vacation days. I get 5 weeks to use starting April 1. I plan on holding on to as many sick days and vacation so after I come back from 3 or 4 months of maternity leave (DH will take the remainder of the 9 or 8 months) i can still do lots of long weekends or work almost part time without affecting my pension

luckystar28

@ki1244 I get the fear surrounding vaginal birth. But it doesn’t necessarily have to be traumatic! I promise! I was induced at 34 weeks and though my story has a lot of other drama, the actual delivery went smoothly and I am grateful I was able to successfully deliver vaginally. Have you heard of the Birth Hour podcast? I highly recommend. An amazing compilation of different birth stories from diverse women. You’ll get to hear all about women’s experiences, from c-section to vaginal to everything in between and it might help with the fear. Personally, I think it’s impostant to work through the mental blocks of “I don’t want this or that” for birth because it’s a whole other animal of it’s own that does what it wants basically lol

ruby696

Valid fear, @ki1244. I will say, I had a c-section with my first and a VBAC with my second. I won't go into details, but the VBAC was not a "pleasant" experience. However, I will 100% do another VBAC this time. I think I just need the complete process? I was in labor for 27 hrs and pushed for 3 with not first, so I had the process the first time. Not sure why I feel that way, other than major surgery is no joke and I want to avoid it if possible. 

jhems776

I'm still pretty sad I had a breech baby so I didn't even get the chance for a vaginal birth (had contractions for a day though before they let me have the c-section almost two weeks before the due date).  I did not heal well and felt so robbed of being able to hold my baby more and walk with him the first week, and so many outings I said no to over the next few months because I couldn't handle it. I remember being in just too much pain to get up and watch them give him his first bath. Ah, still a bit bitter.  

lmcw

@Erin1510 I pulled the exact opposite this week, and took a sick day just so I didn’t have to come up with a reason for having another doctor’s appointment! My work wives know we were trying for a baby and I think they were getting suspicious when I had a bunch of follow up blood work...

My sick days don’t roll over at the end of the year and I refuse to lose them, so I took a day to get some stuff done and home and not end up stressed when my doctor was inevitably an hour behind schedule. 

Also, Halloween candy. I bought it for myself and I’m not sorry. 

nmbrcrnchr1

Earlier this week I googled “how early can you feel baby move in pregnancy”...I’m only 10 weeks, it’s my 2nd pregnancy (technically 3rd) so I know it’s just gas but my crazy self still googled it 😂 

marijaa333

@nmbrcrnchr1 I have also felt very well defined pokes and wondered the same thing.

sparklingdiamond

I know with my second pregnancy I felt a flutter I knew was her at 12 weeks.

amaren-2

I'm having sushi tonight. All cooked stuff, but still..

meatballs37

@ki1244
I feel like that is a legit fear. My first labor was 26 hours. I stalled about halfway through. I don't think the nurses took enough care to watch things for me.  When they finally called the on-call OB to come in to deliver, she determined DD was turned 90 degrees the wrong way almost immediately. Why the nurses didn't see this, I have no idea. They couldn't get her turned and I ended up delivering her with a 4th degree tear and internal stitching to my right vaginal wall. My recovery was horrible and I was told not to deliver vaginally again. 

I had an emergency c-section the second go around (twins, although one was still delivered vaginally). It ended up being a classical c-section. I got a uterine infection 24 hours after. And yet, I think the recovery was still 100 times better than my vaginal delivery.

I am not saying this to scare you. But with your family history, I would definitely make sure to advocate for yourself during labor if things aren't progressing. I WISH I had spoken up during my first labor, but I was so tired (up for over 48 hours by the time I gave birth because I didn't go into labor until 7 the night before and had been up all day already). My midwife was on vacation too, which was just horrible luck for me. 

You never know, you could have a rather easy delivery! I think if DD had come down the birth canal the right way, I probably would have said the recovery from that one would have been easier than the c-section. 

ruby696

@ki1244 to follow up on what @meatballs37 said, I only had 2 stitches with my VBAC. The recovery was still 10x's harder than the c-section. I was up walking within hours of my c-section and I never used anything stronger than 800mg Ibuprofen. There is no shame in a c-section. Vaginal is great too. Getting mom and baby safely through delivery is all that matters.

KissMeImScottish

To second @ruby696, the end goal is safe baby AND safe mom. And your fears are certainly valid, especially with your family history. To provide a counterpoint to the above stories, I’ve had both a vaginal delivery and a c-section (non-medically required, my second twin turned footlong breach two hours before induction, we watched him do it on ultrasound). Of the two experiences, I am desperately hoping for a VBAC because my personal recovery was so much easier and the experience was so much more empowering when I had my oldest. The section, even though it was non-emergent and went as perfectly as it could have, was clinical and I felt very detached from my babies right afterwards because I was so uncomfortable from the trapped gas and the empty stomach (combined with opiate pain meds) meant I was vomiting for 24 hours with a hole in my belly. Not fun.

All of that is to say that I think flexibility and personal advocation is the bottom line. Birth is so unpredictable, and knowing you have a plan helps, but it is also worth making sure you really, really trust and have a good relationship with your doctor because that will help you not have to advocate as loudly of things go sideways. I would also make sure you have YH firmly looped in so he can help be your voice as well.

Bottom line, you WILL get through this and no matter what you choose, your choice will be valid.

ShadeofGreen816

I hope I’m not piling on here and I think your fears and preferences are valid. And every story is only good for the person telling it. But I had a very long labor - 36 hours from first true painful contractions until delivery. I ended up with a 3-4th degree tear (she told me in the room a 3 but later charted and told me it was probably a “mild” 4th degree. Just to say it was bad but not near what it could have been). I thought overall the recovery was mild. I took one or two norco, but then just stuck with anti-inflammatory meds and all the tucks pads/dermoplast. And heavy on the stool softeners! 
Its not up to me, but my biased recommendation would be to go into it open minded and maybe have a conversation with your doctor (and the doc delivering you if it’s a different person) about your feelings and maybe have a lower threshold for deciding to section. Neither is more or less but they’re definitely different with a huge range of normal. All the twisting and bending with a newborn, I was thankful I didn’t have an abdominal surgery to recover from. 

Id like to check out that podcast. Sounds interesting!

emeraldcity603

This is my 5th baby and I have had some sensations that felt like it could be baby. I don't like to say it is until it really is though. I also think about all the phantom flutters/kicks I feel after all my pregnancies. They feel so much like an actual baby moving but I know it's just my bowels and gas. I fully expect to be feeling actual flutters soon though. I mean, those of us at the beginning of the month are about to enter the 2nd trimester soon. Eek!

antera23

I just ate a turkey and ham sandwich for dinner....

messymyranda

My first two babies were both born with less than two hours of painful labor and 5 hours all together. With both I was too far along for them to give me pain meds no matter what my preference by the time they got me into the delivery room. My biggest fear here is that it'll happen during rush hour and I won't make it to the hospital in time. 

Dcwtada

@ki1244 I have only had c-sections thanks to my sexy “manly pelvis” but I will say there is a drastic difference between an emergency c-section and a planned one, for me. My only advice is if you think you might go that route or if you are worried have a dedicated plan for the possibility of a c-section and be prepared. I will not scare anyone but my unplanned one was terrible and I wish I had done more to plan for a c-section so I could have been awake, my husband could have been in the room and I could have met my daughter the day she was born. 

FFFC: when I am feeling bored or angsty I usually go call out and debate someone’s post or responses on FB. I have ”friends” or “groups” I am in simply because provide perfect fodder for these moments. No better stress relief than knocking someone that annoys me down a peg or two. 

ki1244

Thank you gals for all the kind words and support. I know that can be kinda touchy, especially since I'm just going off of gut feeling rather than actual evidence (aaaaaand still have a little while to go... heck, I still haven't even MET my OB, just a nurse and ultrasound tech). But I appreciate you sharing your stories and advice. Makes me feel a little less hysterical to think about that stuff!

@Dcwtada that is TOO funny but so right... could not love yours more.

ncm1919

I’m not talking to my friend who lives in Atlanta and didn’t vote. 

chachacharrrmin

@ncm1919 Oh man, as someone who lives in Atlanta, this irks me! This election was SO close, literally every vote counts.

whitney812

@ncm1919 that would have honestly bugged me too. I get mad at my best friend bc she doesn’t vote and we live in WA where elections aren’t generally even close.

antera23

@ncm1919 that is a valid reason! 

@ki1244 it’s such a personal decision. I’m glad you feel better after talking to us. That’s what we are here for!

jhems776

Got a pair of maternity pants a size down from what I normally wear, such ego boost. Only put them on as they were clearance. Got to love my 3 dollar old navy pants.