November Randoms - Page 3 — The Bump
TTC After a Loss

November Randoms


Re: November Randoms

  • @40momma I'm sorry that's the best answer you can get. But I'm sure you feel validated now (not that it helps anything).

    I'm amazed at how light my HTP got in 1 weeks time. It's almost negative now. Sad but also I'm glad it going down and I can get the show on the road.....whatever the show may be....
  • @40momma Wow that’s tough.  Did the RE recommend any treatments or anything?

    @prpl11butterfly I’m glad things are progressing for you.  How was your Thanksgiving?

    I had a difficult time on Thanksgiving thinking about DS and all the holidays he’ll miss and the milestones I won’t get to see.  And thinking about how every day for the rest of my life I will miss him.  We’re coming up on some tough anniversaries this December of his heart surgery and difficult recovery.  DH and I planned a solo trip to Mexico for Christmas because I know it’s going to be incredibly emotional.  So at least I have that trip to look forward to.
    Me: 31 DH: 31
      <3 DS born 6/2017, became a heart angel 8/2018 <3
    CP 3/2019
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  • @40momma that must be so hard and validating at the same time. Is there anything that can be done or that can help?
    @prpl11butterfly seeing the hpt get lighter is definitely hard and relieving at the same time! 
    @SpongeWorthy I’m so sorry these holidays are going to be so hard for you. I hope you are able to have a wonderful and peaceful trip with your husband.
  • @SpongeWorthy it was good. Minor comment made by my uncle that he caught and corrected (why do you need a 4bed room house, you only have the 2........right now). I don't even know if he knows about this most recent loss (well he does know because of my FB post last night). But he's been known for dumb comments so I was pretty impressed he "corrected" himself.

    I'm sorry the holiday was hard. Its understandable. I think a trip is a great idea. It will give you some time to just breathe and grieve without everyone around.
  • @SpongeWorthy I’m holding you in my heart right now—I can’t imagine how particularly difficult the next few weeks will be. I’m so glad that you have a fun trip to look forward to and hope you have a lovely time and a peaceful Christmas
  • @SpongeWorthy sending lots of virtual hugs and healing thoughts your way!! I can’t imagine how tough it’s going to be but you’ll get through it and hopefully have a wonderful holiday away. 
  • @prpl11butterfly so glad you didn't have to initiate that discussion on your own! I'm happy he is taking initiative and I am thinking of you and hopeful for a good outcome/plan to come come from the testing. 
    Me: 32 │ DH: 35 
    Married 8/16/13
    BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
    BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
    BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle  <3

  • Thanks @zuuls_mom. How are things going for you? AF arrive yet?
  • @prpl11butterfly nothing yet. Had some EWCM the last couple days, so maybe in a couple weeks? Who knows lol. 
    Me: 32 │ DH: 35 
    Married 8/16/13
    BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
    BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
    BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle  <3

  • I am feeling validated today. After my d&c it was discovered my body attacked the placenta treating it as an invader. No issues w baby, only my body.  To me this was an obvious autoimmune issue but my OB pretty much dismissed it. Went through a series of painful hoops to get an appt with a rheumatologist and finally had my appt this week... 6 mos after my late loss. My rheumatologist thought my OB was smart to have referred me! Which is hilarious bc I did all the legwork but finally got confirmation that I do have an autoimmune disease - not sure what this means for any future pregnancies (besides heparin and aspirin which seem to be the go to drugs for these kinds of issues) but at least I KNOW there’s an underlying problem I can work on! 

    It’s exhausting!!! Do any of y’all just get tired of being your own, only advocate?! 
  • @prpl11butterfly sorry you have to go through all of this but that’s great that your doctor is finally being supportive!
    @obsessedwithoranges wow so great you advocated for yourself! Also nice to have some answers, hopefully they are able to help you moving forward! 
  • @obsessedwithoranges I'm glad you are validated. But I wish it were for other reasons. Advocating for ourselves is definitely exhausting, especially after loss when we feel low and defeated. But, we have to do it.
  • I popped in a few weeks ago because we started ttc but my anxiety skyrocketed out of control.  I am managing, but just barely.  These past few weeks have showed me I am not ready to ttc.  Best of luck to you ladies.

  • @justsuzie I hope you find a way to manage your anxiety and are able to start TTC without too much delay. You are you top priority, take care of yourself.
  • @justsuzie glad to hear you are taking care of yourself! Hopefully you will be back here soon if that’s what you want!
  • @SpongeWorthy holidays can be extra difficult so I hope you are able to find some comfort.  I hope the trip gives you something else to keep your mind busy.  Hugs to you

    @justsuzie I’m sorry the anxiety kicked in.  Hopefully you can get it under control and TTC when you are ready.  

    @obsessedwithoranges I’m glad you found some answers and hopefully a plan can be created so you can have a healthy pregnancy and baby. 

    @prpl11butterfly glad you had better visit with doctor 

    AFM, the anniversary of my last loss is approaching on 12/3.  While I’m remembering it and it is making me sad I’m really trying to focus on what I do have and making the holiday special for my DS.  I am also looking forward to getting cleared for physical activity from dr on the 3rd so we can start trying again.  And maybe I can lose some weight if I can move more
  • @obsessedwithoranges Yes, it can be exhausting to be your own advocate. I especially find it difficult with DH who doesn't really even want to continue trying anymore. It's hard to be the one who is all Go Go Go in working on this problem, all alone.

    @justsuzie Sorry girl. I hope you can calm down and figure out a path going forward!
  • Today was a hard day.....

    Tw, other peoples pregnancy 

    I know I mentioned my aquaitence at the bank (unplanned preg, doing it alone, wishes she could trade places w/me). Shes aprox 24 weeks along and STILL hasnt told her daughter (6yo). Today I went to the bank and she was there. Not waiting on me but another customer. I had go listen to her tell her all about her plans to tell DD this weekend with a big photo shoot. She then promptly came over and asked me how I was. Seriously?! I'd give anything to tell the kids this weekend they were getting a sister/brother. And!! Was that the best time to talk about it? You know what I'm going through because of my FB post and you knew I was standing there. I got back to work and hid her in FB so I dont have to see the pics.... then DH tells me I shouldn't expect people to now live because of me....

    MIL just left and basically told me to get over it (and shes had 1 as well). Then informs me that her nephew was born without a pituitary gland and how others in her family have had growth issues. And then follows up with how her mom had 7 MCs. Why is this just being brought up now?!

  • @prpl11butterfly sorry for the bad day.   Hugs 
  • prpl11butterfly I'm so sorry. It can be super frustrating when people seem so insensitive, especially when they know about our struggles. Unfortunately, what your MIL said is really how we're viewed oftentimes. I feel like I'm either trotted out for the "awww" sympathy vote when it meets someone's agenda, but then expected to just 'get over it' and 'deal with it' the rest of the time and act like a normally function human being whose world isn't crashing down around her. It sucks... but that's how it is. My own mother told me over Thanksgiving when a baby was brought up that "I just need to deal with it and get over it." Sorry MIL didn't mention the MCs before... ugh... that's important to know, esp if you end up going to an RE and filling out paperwork!
  • @dpjennifer being a "sideshow attraction" is not fun. The 1 thing she keeps going back to is how she carried for 6m after the baby had passed. As if that somehow lessens my pain/greif. And the "you'll have a healthy baby someday". Um, it's not looking like a great possibility right now but thanks... I was actually trying to let her in on how I'm feeling instead of keeping the wall up and that was how she reacted. Most days I can get by. Yesterday just threw too much at me so close to what would have been important dates. 

    And yea, I'm glad I have the info to give the RE. I feel like the known family history of pituitary issues should have been disclosed sometime ago too. It's a sure thing that should my children decided to have their own that I will disclose my family's medical history because it's so important! My mom said it's a generational thing.

    Thankfully I have amazing coworkers who get it. I got a "happy Wednesday" gift certificate for a pedicure. 
  • prpl11butterfly Yeah, my mom does the "Just keep trying, it'll happen" thing too. Super frustrating. Not everyone walks away with a rainbow... But I realized a while ago that even though my mother thinks she's being helpful and is well-meaning, she just doesn't get it. Despite me being frank with her, she's never going to get it. So I just roll my eyes and ignore her, or sometimes make a jab back. Nothing I can do. She has NO idea how to relate to me about this... 
    And definitely should've disclosed a genetic family trait!!!!  Ugh. That is frustrating. I guess at least you know now for going forward, but may have changed decisions you made in the past year or so...
    Awwww... yay for your coworkers!  Go enjoy yourself!
  • @prpl11butterfly I can’t believe you didn’t hear about the pituitary gland until now—I’m sure your mom is right that it’s generational but still. And I’m so sorry for all the comments and non-helpful advice—it’s hard enough when time has passed but it’s intolerable when everything is raw. 

    @dpjennifer I’m so sorry—which isn’t adequate. It breaks my heart that you feel so alone AND have to deal with sh*t comments on top of it. 

    @obsessedwithoranges it’s SUPER exhausting. I’m so glad you have a reason (well, relatively speaking—I wish you never made it to this point) and I hope it gets easier from here!

    @justsuzie take care of yourself and I hope the rest falls into place!

    @Mack2342 here’s to getting cleared to try again and feeling much, much better!

    AFM, today is ovulation day. New RE appointment next Tuesday. It’s been slightly over a week since my biopsy—still haven’t heard anything—I assume it’s normal but I may call to check today. 
  • @mwmiller4 hopefully no news is good news.  I hope new RE appt goes well
  • @Mack2342 love it! I'm crafty in my head but lacking in execution/skill 
  • @prpl11butterfly thanks.  I always thought it in my head until I tried a few things. I’m getting better with age lol
  • @Mack2342 that’s adorable!
    AFM I had my baseline ultrasound for IVF this morning, it wasn’t okay but not great. I start my stims tonight so here’s hoping this is our cycle! Potential retrieval for mid December and then my dad’s transplant is the end of Dec, so bring on January! Can’t wait to start a new and better year!!
  • @char245 I hope all goes well with your dad and your retrieval.  I hope this is it for you! 
  • @Mack2342 great job!! That looks awesome! 

    @char245 FX for this cycle, for your dad and for 2019 making up for this dumpster fire of a year!

    I called today and left a message about my biopsy that was 10 days ago now. I’m guessing that I’ll be calling again until I hear. 
  • Biopsy 2 days ago. Yowch!!!!
  • @mwmiller4 so annoying when they can’t just call with results! It seems like all docs are like this! Its like since they see this stuff every day it’s no big deal. Good for you for staying on top of it
    !AFM false alarm, my progesterone was too high to start so I go back Saturday morning, ugh it feels like it’s always something! 
  • @char245 @mwmiller4 it DOES always seem to be something. Sigh. Good luck ladies!!!
  • @mwmiller4 and @rozpre I hope you both get your results back soon and you get the answers you're hoping for!

    @char245 I'm so sorry for the delays. It's always so frustrating having to wait even longer. Hopefully Saturday is go time!
    Me: 32 │ DH: 35 
    Married 8/16/13
    BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
    BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
    BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle  <3

  • @char245 that’s so frustrating!! Why can’t part of this be easy for once?!

    @rozpre hope you get your results soon and some answers!!!
    AFM finally got a callback (after calling again) and my biopsy was normal. So hooray for unexplained 
  • @mwmiller4 glad it’s normal, sorry things are still unexplained! 

    @char245 let’s do this new year bizness!!!!🙌🏻
  • @mwmiller4 frustrating that things are unexplained but so happy for you that it was normal! 
  • @mwmiller4 sorry for the unexplained.  
  • Sorry for the late reply ladies, things got crazy at work. RE felt I was hyper fertile and suggested taking ubiquinol. She said she doesn't have any concrete evidence that it really does work but it can't help. That and just keep trying and sooner or later I'd get a good egg. Womp womp. 

    @Mack2342 thinking of you on your anniversary. Dec 5th will be second anniversary for my first loss.
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