Any Appointments Coming Up? Questions? I’ve had my first Ob appt. everything looks good so far. HB 149.
How are you feeling? Nervous. Unsure. A little alone. Haven’t told anyone yet and partner works away. I guess a little surreal too after seeing the first US. In terms of MS... my gosh the nausea is killing me. All day motion sickness. Hard to get through the work day at the moment. I find snacking is helping.
Are you doing anything to capture/journal your pregnancy? Not at the moment but I do have a journal to write in when the time comes. Family history is terrible with MC so I’d like to get past the hurdle of 12 weeks before getting too optimistic
I agree with @harrierwife I feel like these emotions are all things us FTMs are dealing with internally, but have a hard time admitting because all we've been told is how HAPPY we should be. Personally, I'm hoping to be happier once I'm out of 1st tri and feeling better, it's definitely not easy to feel happy when you feel this cruddy. Happy to have you all to vent too.
MS hit me like a brick over the past two days (9+5 on LMP, 9+2 on US) and I’m so over it already. I’m currently on a train trying not to hurl as I head toward work.
@battleangel I'm sorry to hear your MS sucks. You should join us over on the Symptom board too There's a lot of us who are in a similar boat, so feel free to join our chorus of moans.
STM lurking: All your feelings are valid and real!! It’s a huge life change, it’s only normal to feel conflicted. I encourage you all to continue to speak up about these things, before and after baby’s birth. Many FTMs relate and STMs remember and relate, or commiserate in a different way (because the conflicted feelings don’t change just because you already have one haha)
As a FTM we are telling our close friends at a party on sunday. I will be 11 weeks and I am actually torn about coming clean about it lol. On one hand I have been bursting as a very small number of people know already but on the other hand I am anxious about the onslaught of "advice" and suggestions. Also worried about all the stuff I dont already know and feel like I am playing catch up...
@canuckbaby it's really challenging telling/not telling people! So many people know now because my husband keeps telling people. Because I've been so sick it has caused us to change plans, so it's hard not to explain what's going on. Also, it's just hard not to tell people! I mean, it's such big news and it's such a big deal, it's hard to keep it a secret!
@chrssyms lol we have been trying to tell people together as much as possible. Of course our respective bosses know and i told one coworker because i was DYING not saying something.I get people are superstitious about saying something too soon in case of a MC but i think that not saying something feeds into stigma around MC when the mom to be needs the most support. We would have said something sooner but we needed a plan to be around everyone at once and our anniversary just makes sense!
@canuckbaby as someone who has had an MC, I can say that I was so glad we told family and close friends early on. It was great to have the support of friends and family, and to not have to pretend that everything was okay around them.
@luckystar28 thank you. It really does help to hear from both FTMs feeling in the same boat, and STM+ who know it's real but it isn't forever.
Seeing the little heartbeat flicker today was insane though. I don't even know what to think right now. I went back to the office but have been entirely useless (then again, the last few weeks, what's new).
We started telling people the day we got our BFP. (haven't made it Facebook official, but I rarely post anything on Facebook anyway.) I figure that if this is the most vulnerable time for Baby, I'd rather tell people I know will pray for him/her, and be there for us if, God forbid, it did go wrong. I don't think I'll get any MORE pregnant, so might as well tell people. Plus I'm horrible at secrets. I actually woke DH up to tell him because my sister and our best friend (her college roommate, the three of us are super close) knew I was peeing on a stick that morning and had already started texting me to ask how it went... trying to keep it a secret more than two HOURS was a challenge, let alone several WEEKS.
@kjr9519 i had a friend who never said anything then had a MC and went into a super depression after. Everyone acted like it was NBD because they didn't know in the first place. When she got pregnant the next time she told everyone asap. There is one girl 5 weeks ahead of me at work and i have been dying to talk to her about it but am in a holding pattern for now!
I told my boss the other day. His wife is like 22 weeks I think. But I told him because my nausea has been so bad I haven’t been putting in many hours. I work from home so I get to decide how much I work which is really nice. I told him because I didn’t want him to think I was becoming disinterested or didn’t like my job. Apparently his wife didn’t have bad morning sickness so he has like no idea what I’m even talking about. Oh well, I’m glad he knows now so that I don’t need to stress about it.
We are going to tell extended family probably on Thanksgiving. I think we should have results of our NIPT test by then so we should also know gender! I’ll be 12 weeks at that point so I think that’s good.
@canuckbaby and with good reason re: the advice. As soon as we told our closest couple friends, we got hit with all the horror stories of their weirdest case scenario birth and all the advice they had for when our baby is two. My mom hasn’t stopped with her 30+ Year old “when I was pregnant” stories.
@battleangel i am sure it wont be as bad as i am thinking. But maybe. I appreciate information but as my coworker who knows says everything changes - the newest study says this or that. My boss told me about how her kids never ate baby food but she had a sleep coach train her on how to sleep train them. To each their own!
I'm really glad to see I'm not the only one with the "what have I done" feeling. I want to be happy but wow. Like really did we think this through? I mean we did. We were almost two years into IVF so we did think about it. But ahhhhh
Formally Leekat Me: 36 DH 38 Married Sept 2014 TTC Since Nov 2015 IVF Cycle 1 - 0 eggs IVF Cycle 2 - 3 embryos FET 1 (transferred 1 embryo) - BFN FET 2 (transferred 2 embryos- BFN IVF Cycle 3 - 1 embryo FET 3 (transferred 1 embryo) - BFN Donor Egg Retrieval 2/19/18 -4 embryos that didn't make it to freeze Donor Egg Retrieval 4/30/2018 - 6 eggs - 5 embryos frozen Day 3 FET 4 (with donor eggs) (transferred 1 embryo) -BETA 7/10 - BFN Hysteroscopy & Endo Scratch FET 5 (with donor eggs) (transferred 2 embryos)-BETA 9/10 - BFN Final FET (#6) (with donor eggs) (transferred 2 embryos) BETA 10/15 BFP!! EDD: June 24, 2019 Baby O born June 26, 2019
Appointment/questions?: Had my first appointment on Halloween and decided I didn’t like the doctor. Found a new doctor to switch to and see her for the first time on the 28th. Hoping she’s more what I’m looking for!
Feeling?: pretty good for the most part. Nausea comes and goes but hasn’t been too horrible. I’m tired but don’t know if that’s because work is crazy or because I’m pregnant. Oh. And the extra phlegm is horrible. And what makes me nauseous most of the time.
Journaling/capturing pregnancy?: Nothing right now, but work has been so crazy I don’t know if I have the time. I’m normally a journaler, but lately it’s been so difficult.
Where are are you from?: I’m from metro Detroit Michigan. Love my state, but it’s supposed to snow tomorrow and it’s my birthday and I’m not ready for that crap yet.
I had my "intake" appointment at the OB today, which was the most useless (for me) appointment ever. I just went through my med history with the nurse and then had to sit through her speeches on smoking and drinking (I don't do either), what kinds of fish are safe to eat (I've been a vegetarian for 19 years + I have a seafood allergy), how to reheat lunch meat (see previous), and why they prefer breastfeeding (which I already told her I planned to do). Then she couldn't even answer any of the questions I had & told me I'd just have to ask the midwife at my next appointment instead! She didn't even make notes on any of the tests that I said I wanted (since I'm AMA, I plan to get NIPT) so I'll have to go over all of that again at my next appointment. Like, what was the point of coming in today then?! I wish I could've just filled-out a form online with everything I said to her instead. Maybe it would have been more valuable had I not been previously seeing an RE throughout the last several months (for IVF), but as it was, it was a total waste of the two hours vacation time I had to use from work.
What are everyone's thoughts on announcing before the end of the first tri? I was thinking of telling my extended family on Thanksgiving, when I'll be 11 weeks + 5 days. Mostly because some of them might notice that I'm not drinking and my nausea is sometimes obvious. Initially, I was excited to tell everyone... But now I'm really nervous about it since I won't have done the NIPT testing by then (I thought I would, but since that didn't happen today, it won't be done in time). We've already told my parents and FIL, but I'm just not sure about everyone else. Though I think my wife might go crazy if I make her wait much longer! I'm really torn.
My thoughts on announcing before the first tri and what we're doing:
We've told a very few key people that it made sense to tell. I told my two brothers because 1. they'd be STOKED 2. are fantastic secret keepers and 3. I needed their support during a family wedding two weeks ago since my family loves to drink. I also told my best friend who had a great birth experience and is otherwise so, so supportive. He told his best friend at home and at work. We've also told other friends that I didn't want thinking that I was flaking when I cancelled plans or was otherwise acting like Oscar the Grouch.
That's it.
We haven't told people that we knew were blabber mouths, would make our family jealous if they found out they knew before them, or would have too many opinions.
I am NOT a fan of people telling me what to do, and am prepared for it to happen once the cat's fully out of the bag, but want to put it off as long as I can. There are particular things that I want to do that people have OPINIONS about and frankly, I dgaf anymore.
We're going to tell H's parents in person when they come visit the first weekend of December and my parents via phone that same weekend. Then, that Monday, our Xmas cards are going out with the announcement on it and that's it. I'm tempted to keep it off FB.
ETA: I'm super salty about my mother and how she ruined my cousin's first pregnancy for everyone so I'm sure my attitude still reflects this.
@ellem29 that's really frustrating about your appointment. As for announcing, I will state what we're doing, but I think it comes down to preference and what you're comfortable with.
So far we've told very few people; my ILs were in town so we told them and my parents when we were all together. My brother and DHs sister also found out that weekend. I have also told my trainers at my gym to make sure they would help me continue working out safely. I have also told two girls from my gym, mostly because I have completely flaked on them the past few weeks. We will most likely tell our remaining friends and family around week 13 (week before Christmas).
@ellem29 I’m sorry you had such a terrible experience. I would be frustrated if that happened to me too.
Here is my thought about announcing. Keep in mind, this is just my opinion and my experience. Also, ****TW***** I will talk about a loss. I don’t want to announce to everyone on social media until much later if at all. Though I am telling pretty much everyone who I care about when I see them in person. My reason is 1. I am excited and being a mom has always been my dream. 2. I would rather have everyone know if something goes wrong. I lost my first in July and it was very helpful to have support 3. I’m stubborn and I refuse to let fear control my reaction to this pregnancy. 4. Not talking about my pregnancy only makes me feel worse. It makes me feel fearful and opening up about it makes me feel strong.
@ellem29 I don’t blame
you for being frustrated. Time off of work is tough and (I’m assuming) you’ll
have to continue to take time off for future appointments. Hopefully the rest
are more helpful.
I’m 7+1. I’ve told my
best friend and my boss. My boss only knows this early because I nearly threw
up in his office. My best friend (bless her) caught me completely off guard the
day we found out with questions and I can’t lie to her even if I wanted to.
Together, we’ve told our
brother and SIL mainly because we went on a trip together right when the nausea/vomiting
hit. That’s it for now. It’s been nice
to have my best friend and SIL to text when I need it but it’s all still so new.
I agree with @harrierwife wholeheartedly about avoiding unsolicited opinions
for as long as possible. I’m pretty blunt. I’m certain I ruffled a few feathers
by the time our wedding was over because I just flat out began refusing to
listen to people who couldn’t take a hint.
I think we will end up
telling our parents and my sister around Thanksgiving. For the rest of the
family and our close friends, it will likely Christmas time. Haven’t even
considered social media until 2019.
@antera23 - Thank you for sharing; a lot of what you said really resonated with me! I definitely don't plan to post on FB for a while (mostly because I really don't want any co-workers finding out that way), but I'm tempted to tell my family in person on Thanksgiving because, like you said, we're excited and it'd be nice to have extra support.
I'm just nervous that if this pregnancy were to end in a loss, then that becomes a lot of people we have to notify. But, as I'm typing this, I'm realizing there is such a strong "news network" - I wouldn't call it gossip, because it isn't ever really negative - in my family that I'd really only have to tell about three of them and they'd spread the word pretty effectively. I don't know, I think maybe I need to stop letting my anxiety control me and be more positive.
For whatever it's worth, we were kind of the opposite -- I haven't announced on FB (and don't know when I'll do that, although it's more because I haven't come up with a cute graphic or whatever yet) but we've been telling people in person, and have been basically since day 1. I have no poker face and am terrible at hiding things, and I don't necessarily want unsolicited advice, but I'm also the last of my network to have kids, and have been fairly clueless about it so I did want to be able to have a good support network, both in case of questions (and, let's be honest, hand-me-downs) and in case something doesn't go right, God forbid. The depression has been bad enough with things going well; I can't even imagine what sort of a hole I'd fall in if it doesn't stay that way. Plus, I'm a life-begins-at-conception type, so if my little nugget is living through the most vulnerable time in its life right now, I'd like to think the people we know will be praying for us now too, not just if something goes wrong...not like I'll get any MORE pregnant than I am now!
It's up to each person, of course, to do what they're comfortable with. We're just pretty open about a lot of stuff (heck, DH told a room full of donors at a speaking event that we had christened every room in our house when we moved in...) so didn't see any reason not to be that way with this news too.
@ellem29 I’m glad you could relate. I’m also really happy to hear you have such a good support network. I think that makes all the difference. It’s such a personal decision to tell people. I think everyone should do whatever makes them feel the best. Just listen to what you and your partner want and if that means it goes against what’s normal... oh well
Appointments: had my first prenatal on Wednesday, which was basically me answering a million questions about my medical history and lifestyle and on and on. It was actually sort of frustrating, because I’m with my family doc until about week 20 so he HAS my medical history, but they’ve changed to a new records system and needed to go through these prenatal intake forms and it was just a LOT of questions. And then got to feel like a human juice box while they took all my blood.
No US at this appointment, but the silver lining of my previous spotting is that they sent me for a dating/viability US at 7 weeks, and my doc was really happy with the images; his exact words were “the baby looks nice and happy in there” lol
Feeling: mostly good, just tired all. the. time. I’ve had a bit of ms the last few weeks so I sit in bed and eat Cheerios before I actually get up, but it’s manageable. I’m either feeling sickish or am starving.
Doing anything to capture/journal pregnancy: not at the moment...I keep thinking I should take a weekly photo and start before I’m showing, and then I go do something else instead.
Re: the announcing...we told our parents when I was 5 weeks, it was Thanksgiving (Canada) and we were VERY thankful, and we decided that if the pregnancy didn’t stick we wouldn’t want to go through that alone so it made sense. H wants to do a social media announcement, I’m sort of on the fence. If we do we’ll wait until I’m about 14 weeks so it would be just before Christmas.
I finally finallyyyyyy had my first appointment! I got to see the little peanut on the US and I can now believe I’m having a baby. It’s so weird! Before I felt like I was walking around with a fun little secret, now I’m getting a little overwhelmed. My midwife put me at about 7 weeks and gave me a due date on 6/21 or 6/22. I may have mentioned so forgive me... I’ve used a website to track my period for 10 years and would you believe that the past 3 months was when I fell off the wagon? Lol
Now final confession, my SO still doesn’t really know. I’m giving him the US print out and a T-shirt and a matching onesie to officially break the news.
@chrssyms I really really wanted to, and we always talked about doing one more Disney trip just the two of us. But with basketball season underway now, unless it's an "oh s*** we just got fired and need to get away from media" escape (in which case we're blowing money we probably shouldn't), I don't think it's going to happen. We had been looking at going up to New England for a few days for some baseball with my parents (Sox + PawSox and Sea Dogs) and there's a weekend in April where all three are home, but early April + New England is hit or miss on weather so I'm not sure if we'll do it, or if that counts as a babymoon with my parents along.
@wendyann19 can't wait to hear how it went with your SO!
@chrssyms we are considering a baby moon. People might think it is overkill because we just got married and took a 12 day honeymoon in June, but I want to do it. Travelling with my husband is fun, and we have the PTO at work to do it. March road trip sounds good, but that is the extent of what we have discussed.
@ki1244 ha yeah I’m not sure it’s a babymoon if your parents are there. I’ve really wanted to go to Maine but I think Maine in March/April will be pretty chilly and that’s not really our thing - so similar to New England. Disney would be so much fun! I haven’t been there for a couple years. i think maybe we will end up going to South Florida or something just to relax. Although I was also thinking England/Scotland! Not sure about travel abroad though since we can’t be sure how the pregnancy will go or if there will be any wrinkles or concerns about that kind of travel. Maybe I’m just being paranoid
I really want to do a baby moon, but I just don’t know if it’ll happen. Our last vacation was for our anniversary in June, but I don’t think we’ll be doing another at that time. DH is a teacher, and he only gets 2 personal days a year (and he already used one of them), so we would have to work around his breaks. The only one he has that’s open is Spring break, but he really wants to use that time to go to Colorado and house hunt. So we probably won’t end up doing any kind of real vacation between now and when the baby comes.
@chrssyms if you're thinking Disney at all, the Epcot Flower and Garden Festival starts on March 6, and is soooo cool if you haven't been there for it. Lots of fun displays and shops, and pop-up kitchens around the World Showcase with little taster portions of spring-inspired food and drinks, so you can taste your way around the world. Totally worth going then!
Disney as adults without kids is my favorite. We got annual passes in May of 2017, and put them to good use...went in May, July (that was a last-second thing...he got sent for work, we found out on a Tuesday, booked my flight Thursday, and Saturday I was in Orlando), November, April, and May 2018. And then we had enough airline points to do an anniversary weekend in August. And then he had a seminar there in September. His mom and sisters (they were 16 and 19 at the time) came with us in April, and my parents took us and my sister/BIL and their kids in May. It's amazing with kids, of course, but I love it as just the two of us (or even solo...I love DH more than life itself but solo Disney is right up there as my favorite). I'm so bummed that I don't think it's going to happen for us before baby...but maybe after sometime. The agency I work for does an agent trip every year...not going this time, but maybe Baby can take a few days with grandparents for the next one.
Has anyone done international travel when pregnant? I’m a little nervous about flying 7-8 hrs
@ki1244 and @wearyfuzzball I think we will most likely do Florida. I have been to the Flower and Garden festival and it was lots of fun! I think DH will want a more beach type vacay and not so much sightseeing. Plus we are waiting for my Brother and SIL to want to take our niece to Disney. So probably whenever they go we will go too. I’m seriously doubting that will be before our LO is born. For some reason they don’t want to take her until she can remember. Ha I think my parents first took me to Disney when I was 6 months. I’m a Disney kid
@chrssyms split the difference and stay at the Beach Club. (we found a decent rate there for one night for our anniversary, and they gave us a complimentary upgrade to a suite that I think was bigger than our last apartment, with club level access with 24/7 food and drinks. Most magical magical night ever.)
@chrssyms nope! I do not want to travel while I’m pregnant and large. We’re also really buckling down and saving as much money as we can. I don’t get paid maternity leave and we also want to buy a house in the next year.
We were on a 3 week vacation (london, rome, germany, sweden, boston and NYC) following our NHL team when we found out in Boston we were preggers. If that's not a baby moon I dont know what is lol. Also wont be going anywhere between now and baby since that trip was $$$
@chrissyms hubs and I are thinking Morro Bay on our first wedding anniversary (in March) or right before Spud shows up in May. DH wants to do a trip to Manitoba to watch his favorite team play but I’m FIRMLY saying no because I get cold and MANITOBA. Even the name sounds cold.
@canuckbaby we were supposed to do the NHL Global series in Finland. I couldn’t get tickets for less than $700 so I noped out on that trip. It’s just as well because that was shortly after we found out anyway.
Re: FTM Check-In November
Any Appointments Coming Up? Questions?
I’ve had my first Ob appt. everything looks good so far. HB 149.
How are you feeling?
Nervous. Unsure. A little alone. Haven’t told anyone yet and partner works away. I guess a little surreal too after seeing the first US.
In terms of MS... my gosh the nausea is killing me. All day motion sickness. Hard to get through the work day at the moment. I find snacking is helping.
Are you doing anything to capture/journal your pregnancy?
Not at the moment but I do have a journal to write in when the time comes. Family history is terrible with MC so I’d like to get past the hurdle of 12 weeks before getting too optimistic
As a FTM we are telling our close friends at a party on sunday. I will be 11 weeks and I am actually torn about coming clean about it lol. On one hand I have been bursting as a very small number of people know already but on the other hand I am anxious about the onslaught of "advice" and suggestions. Also worried about all the stuff I dont already know and feel like I am playing catch up...
Seeing the little heartbeat flicker today was insane though. I don't even know what to think right now. I went back to the office but have been entirely useless (then again, the last few weeks, what's new).
We started telling people the day we got our BFP. (haven't made it Facebook official, but I rarely post anything on Facebook anyway.) I figure that if this is the most vulnerable time for Baby, I'd rather tell people I know will pray for him/her, and be there for us if, God forbid, it did go wrong. I don't think I'll get any MORE pregnant, so might as well tell people. Plus I'm horrible at secrets. I actually woke DH up to tell him because my sister and our best friend (her college roommate, the three of us are super close) knew I was peeing on a stick that morning and had already started texting me to ask how it went... trying to keep it a secret more than two HOURS was a challenge, let alone several WEEKS.
We are going to tell extended family probably on Thanksgiving. I think we should have results of our NIPT test by then so we should also know gender! I’ll be 12 weeks at that point so I think that’s good.
Just... shhh everyone we told. Shh.
Me: 36 DH 38
Married Sept 2014
TTC Since Nov 2015
IVF Cycle 1 - 0 eggs
IVF Cycle 2 - 3 embryos
FET 1 (transferred 1 embryo) - BFN
FET 2 (transferred 2 embryos- BFN
IVF Cycle 3 - 1 embryo
FET 3 (transferred 1 embryo) - BFN
Donor Egg Retrieval 2/19/18 -4 embryos that didn't make it to freeze
Donor Egg Retrieval 4/30/2018 - 6 eggs - 5 embryos frozen Day 3
FET 4 (with donor eggs) (transferred 1 embryo) -BETA 7/10 - BFN
Hysteroscopy & Endo Scratch
FET 5 (with donor eggs) (transferred 2 embryos)-BETA 9/10 - BFN
Final FET (#6) (with donor eggs) (transferred 2 embryos) BETA 10/15 BFP!!
EDD: June 24, 2019 Baby O born June 26, 2019
Appointment/questions?: Had my first appointment on Halloween and decided I didn’t like the doctor. Found a new doctor to switch to and see her for the first time on the 28th. Hoping she’s more what I’m looking for!
Feeling?: pretty good for the most part. Nausea comes and goes but hasn’t been too horrible. I’m tired but don’t know if that’s because work is crazy or because I’m pregnant. Oh. And the extra phlegm is horrible. And what makes me nauseous most of the time.
Journaling/capturing pregnancy?: Nothing right now, but work has been so crazy I don’t know if I have the time. I’m normally a journaler, but lately it’s been so difficult.
Where are are you from?: I’m from metro Detroit Michigan. Love my state, but it’s supposed to snow tomorrow and it’s my birthday and I’m not ready for that crap yet.
Feeling pretty frustrated right now...
I had my "intake" appointment at the OB today, which was the most useless (for me) appointment ever. I just went through my med history with the nurse and then had to sit through her speeches on smoking and drinking (I don't do either), what kinds of fish are safe to eat (I've been a vegetarian for 19 years + I have a seafood allergy), how to reheat lunch meat (see previous), and why they prefer breastfeeding (which I already told her I planned to do). Then she couldn't even answer any of the questions I had & told me I'd just have to ask the midwife at my next appointment instead! She didn't even make notes on any of the tests that I said I wanted (since I'm AMA, I plan to get NIPT) so I'll have to go over all of that again at my next appointment. Like, what was the point of coming in today then?! I wish I could've just filled-out a form online with everything I said to her instead. Maybe it would have been more valuable had I not been previously seeing an RE throughout the last several months (for IVF), but as it was, it was a total waste of the two hours vacation time I had to use from work.
What are everyone's thoughts on announcing before the end of the first tri? I was thinking of telling my extended family on Thanksgiving, when I'll be 11 weeks + 5 days. Mostly because some of them might notice that I'm not drinking and my nausea is sometimes obvious. Initially, I was excited to tell everyone... But now I'm really nervous about it since I won't have done the NIPT testing by then (I thought I would, but since that didn't happen today, it won't be done in time). We've already told my parents and FIL, but I'm just not sure about everyone else. Though I think my wife might go crazy if I make her wait much longer! I'm really torn.
We've told a very few key people that it made sense to tell. I told my two brothers because 1. they'd be STOKED 2. are fantastic secret keepers and 3. I needed their support during a family wedding two weeks ago since my family loves to drink. I also told my best friend who had a great birth experience and is otherwise so, so supportive. He told his best friend at home and at work. We've also told other friends that I didn't want thinking that I was flaking when I cancelled plans or was otherwise acting like Oscar the Grouch.
That's it.
We haven't told people that we knew were blabber mouths, would make our family jealous if they found out they knew before them, or would have too many opinions.
I am NOT a fan of people telling me what to do, and am prepared for it to happen once the cat's fully out of the bag, but want to put it off as long as I can. There are particular things that I want to do that people have OPINIONS about and frankly, I dgaf anymore.
We're going to tell H's parents in person when they come visit the first weekend of December and my parents via phone that same weekend. Then, that Monday, our Xmas cards are going out with the announcement on it and that's it. I'm tempted to keep it off FB.
ETA: I'm super salty about my mother and how she ruined my cousin's first pregnancy for everyone so I'm sure my attitude still reflects this.
So far we've told very few people; my ILs were in town so we told them and my parents when we were all together. My brother and DHs sister also found out that weekend. I have also told my trainers at my gym to make sure they would help me continue working out safely. I have also told two girls from my gym, mostly because I have completely flaked on them the past few weeks. We will most likely tell our remaining friends and family around week 13 (week before Christmas).
Here is my thought about announcing. Keep in mind, this is just my opinion and my experience. Also, ****TW***** I will talk about a loss. I don’t want to announce to everyone on social media until much later if at all. Though I am telling pretty much everyone who I care about when I see them in person. My reason is 1. I am excited and being a mom has always been my dream. 2. I would rather have everyone know if something goes wrong. I lost my first in July and it was very helpful to have support 3. I’m stubborn and I refuse to let fear control my reaction to this pregnancy. 4. Not talking about my pregnancy only makes me feel worse. It makes me feel fearful and opening up about it makes me feel strong.
@ellem29 I don’t blame you for being frustrated. Time off of work is tough and (I’m assuming) you’ll have to continue to take time off for future appointments. Hopefully the rest are more helpful.
I’m 7+1. I’ve told my best friend and my boss. My boss only knows this early because I nearly threw up in his office. My best friend (bless her) caught me completely off guard the day we found out with questions and I can’t lie to her even if I wanted to.
Together, we’ve told our brother and SIL mainly because we went on a trip together right when the nausea/vomiting hit. That’s it for now. It’s been nice to have my best friend and SIL to text when I need it but it’s all still so new. I agree with @harrierwife wholeheartedly about avoiding unsolicited opinions for as long as possible. I’m pretty blunt. I’m certain I ruffled a few feathers by the time our wedding was over because I just flat out began refusing to listen to people who couldn’t take a hint.
I think we will end up telling our parents and my sister around Thanksgiving. For the rest of the family and our close friends, it will likely Christmas time. Haven’t even considered social media until 2019.
I'm just nervous that if this pregnancy were to end in a loss, then that becomes a lot of people we have to notify. But, as I'm typing this, I'm realizing there is such a strong "news network" - I wouldn't call it gossip, because it isn't ever really negative - in my family that I'd really only have to tell about three of them and they'd spread the word pretty effectively. I don't know, I think maybe I need to stop letting my anxiety control me and be more positive.
It's up to each person, of course, to do what they're comfortable with. We're just pretty open about a lot of stuff (heck, DH told a room full of donors at a speaking event that we had christened every room in our house when we moved in...) so didn't see any reason not to be that way with this news too.
Appointments: had my first prenatal on Wednesday, which was basically me answering a million questions about my medical history and lifestyle and on and on. It was actually sort of frustrating, because I’m with my family doc until about week 20 so he HAS my medical history, but they’ve changed to a new records system and needed to go through these prenatal intake forms and it was just a LOT of questions. And then got to feel like a human juice box while they took all my blood.
No US at this appointment, but the silver lining of my previous spotting is that they sent me for a dating/viability US at 7 weeks, and my doc was really happy with the images; his exact words were “the baby looks nice and happy in there” lol
Feeling: mostly good, just tired all. the. time. I’ve had a bit of ms the last few weeks so I sit in bed and eat Cheerios before I actually get up, but it’s manageable. I’m either feeling sickish or am starving.
Doing anything to capture/journal pregnancy: not at the moment...I keep thinking I should take a weekly photo and start before I’m showing, and then I go do something else instead.
Re: the announcing...we told our parents when I was 5 weeks, it was Thanksgiving (Canada) and we were VERY thankful, and we decided that if the pregnancy didn’t stick we wouldn’t want to go through that alone so it made sense. H wants to do a social media announcement, I’m sort of on the fence. If we do we’ll wait until I’m about 14 weeks so it would be just before Christmas.
Now final confession, my SO still doesn’t really know. I’m giving him the US print out and a T-shirt and a matching onesie to officially break the news.
Question for the group - is anyone considering a baby moon? When do you think you’d do it? Where do you think you’d go?
@wendyann19 can't wait to hear how it went with your SO!
i think maybe we will end up going to South Florida or something just to relax. Although I was also thinking England/Scotland! Not sure about travel abroad though since we can’t be sure how the pregnancy will go or if there will be any wrinkles or concerns about that kind of travel. Maybe I’m just being paranoid
Disney as adults without kids is my favorite. We got annual passes in May of 2017, and put them to good use...went in May, July (that was a last-second thing...he got sent for work, we found out on a Tuesday, booked my flight Thursday, and Saturday I was in Orlando), November, April, and May 2018. And then we had enough airline points to do an anniversary weekend in August. And then he had a seminar there in September. His mom and sisters (they were 16 and 19 at the time) came with us in April, and my parents took us and my sister/BIL and their kids in May. It's amazing with kids, of course, but I love it as just the two of us (or even solo...I love DH more than life itself but solo Disney is right up there as my favorite). I'm so bummed that I don't think it's going to happen for us before baby...but maybe after sometime. The agency I work for does an agent trip every year...not going this time, but maybe Baby can take a few days with grandparents for the next one.
@canuckbaby we were supposed to do the NHL Global series in Finland. I couldn’t get tickets for less than $700 so I noped out on that trip. It’s just as well because that was shortly after we found out anyway.