Weekly Randoms {10/29-11/2}

okayestmom12

madreofdragons

Apparently my hair had a rough night. 

okayestmom12

@madreofdragons - Quite the party over there, huh?  

I'm full of randoms today... 

My DH's cousin is due Friday (cousin #8 in our family!) and everyone is ridiculously excited.  She was having contractions all weekend so hopefully they'll be productive soon.  

I just ate 6 little mini Halloween candies for lunch. One was Skittles which counts as a serving of fruit, right? 

Episode 3 of Haunting of Hill House is on currently and I'm jumpy per usual.  I opened the blinds in every room before turning it on!

Anyone planning on making some Freezer Meals before baby comes? I was thinking maybe we could start a thread of different ideas/ recipes.  I know that having a well stocked freezer and pantry was very, very helpful after both of my kids were born.  

becks_726

Yes, please to the freezer meal thread @okayestmom12!

BourbonBiscuits

@okayestmom12 I'd be allllllll over a freezer meal thread. I wanted to stock our freezer before DS was born but we didn't have the freezer space. This time we live close enough to my mom to use her deep freeze AND our freezer is gigantic in the new apartment. 

Venessa88

We had such a busy weekend, it feels like it flew by.  Now I don't feel like working and can't wait to be done so I can go home and take my bra off and get in my comfy clothes.  

sjnsjnsjn

Yes on the freezer meals!!

danixbanani24

DS continues to forcefully poop himself every.single.day at nap time at school.  Friday he actually didn't and we made a HUGEEEEE deal out of it.  I took him to this play place by our house, we had a special dinner, he got dessert, he got gifts from family members as reward for NOT pooping his pants.  Even the teacher gave him a small reward from the treasure chest...but of course today he's back to pooping on purpose.  I hope this phase passes...my DH wants to punish DS tonight by no tv and ipad etc (if you read my other post over the weekend, DH is like firm believer in punishment and yelling etc).  But who suffers for that? ME, who is home alone because DH HAS to go to the gym tonight and I'm stuck making dinner etc with a 3 year old who can't occupy himself?  Also, if his other toys are available to him I don't really see the point of punishment - it hasn't worked before I don't think it will now either.

I'm going to make a reward chart at work - every day he doesn't poop he gets a sticker and 5 stickers means a reward.  Do you guys think I should make it 5 stickers in a row gets a reward or just 5 stickers?  Lord help me he better be out of this phase when this LO comes!

allthingsgo

Yes freezer meals! I actually have room for them this time. 

Also saw this on a car at a stoplight and thought it was funny: 

okayestmom12

@danixbanani24 - Oh my goodness! I hate when you feel like you've made progress (Friday) and then you take 2 steps back (today).  I like behavior/ reward charts (it's the early childhood educator in me!).  I think 5 stickers is a good starting point but I wouldn't make them be in a row. 

I'm all for punishment when approproate but potty "stuff" is such a delicate tight rope walk - you don't want a full on regression but you do want to get the point across that this isn't acceptable.  

danixbanani24

@okayestmom12 I know - I don't want to end up making this situation work but I guess a minor punishment wouldn't hurt so he knows it's because he didn't do well at school today.  Like no ipad and maybe limited tv time before going to bed.  

sjnsjnsjn

Man, @danixbanani24 if your DH really wants to really amp up your son's issues and the angst/negative attention reinforcement so he's pooping his pants into middle school, yelling and taking things away is a great plan. 😳  That would also serve the bonus of increasing intimate shame and body issues! 😳😳
My two cents and what do I know because I have never met your kid, but... a theory: he has angst because competition for your love is on the way, and he fears loss of attention. Heck he may already feel like, why are mommy and daddy always talking about some otherbaby. Who the heck is this mystery mom-stealingkid?!  One way he gets attention to salve that feeling- positive/negative/whatever it's attention- is this pooping thing.  So anything that gives him positive attention for something else will serve to ease the actual causes. (Pop child psychology shingle dangling without any real shrink grounding Obvi.)
While I think I would talk to him about the pooping, I think I would try to focus less on it and more on talking to him and also positive attention for other things. Although my kid loves stickers, so stickers are always a win

danixbanani24

@sjnsjnsjn yes I feel the same way! Like yelling and negative in general is not going to get the point across.  Yes, punishment is sometimes necessary but at the same time I need DS to understand WHY the punishment is happening.  My DH just often yells "NO!" and "don't do that!" or "I said don't do that!".  Explain WHY.  Like we were carving a pumpkin and DS grabbed the carving knife and my DH got mental and yelled and scared DS who started crying.  So I sat down and said "Luca, daddy yelled because you took the knife and he got scared you were going to hurt yourself.  This is sharp, you can't grab it" etc etc.  I also agree that even though DS SEEMS excited and enjoys talking about "baby brother", he may be feeling a little like wait what's really going?

me and DH need to work on this together more but it hasn't felt like we've really been able to connect on it.

sjnsjnsjn

@danixbanani24- Totally.  "No" doesn't teach them anything.  Like "no hitting."  Great but if you don't say/show "gentle touch," or tell them what to do instead, then it's like, well what do I do when I want to connect with mommy and get attention and don't know how??  We were carving last night too, and my son put his hand in a dangerous spot, while his dad was working with him on it, and so my SO, explained to him where to put your hand when using the (tiny serrated plastic carver thing) "knife," and why, just like you're saying!  No drama, just teaching.
Sounds like your DH expects kid to already know things or be processing on a higher emotional intelligence level than is possible!  A tot's not going to say, I have angst about losing my place and what a new baby means and will mommy and daddy still love me.  They're just going to do something like poop their pants on purpose.  I mean, come on, DH!!  
I really was not kidding about the No Bad Kids book. It's an easy quick read and really geared towards many of the issues you are dealing with.  Maybe hubs can get stickers and a reward if he finishes it. ;p

allthingsgo

@danixbanani24 I think a reward system is a good idea. Positive reinforcement is always better than negative in my view. But I also think @sjnsjnsjn has a good point. You may want to talk to him about this pooping thing and maybe see if you can figure out what is triggering it. One thing that book No Bad Kids mentions which I have found to be true is that when kids act out the first thing you should ask yourself is, what’s different? So what happened around the time of this pooping problem that created something different in his routine. Was it something at school? Something at home? The awareness of a new baby on the way as @sjnsjnsjn said? Sometimes if you can figure that part out and address with him the problem resolves itself. 

danixbanani24

@sjnsjnsjn @allthingsgo I think I am going to go ahead and order that book for me and DH to read.  It sounds like it could help us get on the same page about some things.  Yes, I need to give DH a reward chart as well LOL you didn't yell today! Good boy - gold star for you! hahaha 

Thanks guys, seriously, for all your support and help.  I'm having a hard time pinpointing what the issue is exactly.  I didn't feel like the baby brother coming along was bothering him but maybe it is.  Changes in his bedroom and bed time routine as well.  We moved him to a twin size bed but the toddler bed is still in the room and I say that's baby brother's bed etc.  But maybe I need to convert it back to the actual crib so DS doesn't feel upset?  He also used to co-sleep with us a lot and I was surprised at how easy he went into his bed and slept there...he does still ask us to lay with him at night but I don't mind that at all.  I'm actually seeing my therapist tomorrow and I've asked if we can discuss it a bit since she also works with children.  Next step might be the pediatrician for some insight?  

sjnsjnsjn

@danixbanani24- Awesome on the book.  My ped sometimes does have really good ideas about not strictly medical, but developmental/behavioral, things; that's a great idea.

kayjay44

Punishment isn't going to work @danixbanani24 and your DH needs to get that through is skull. Positive Parenting books have helped a ton at our house.

DS1 has been pushing me away and has been acting like a baby more (he's 2.5) - so I'm dreading what actually bringing the baby home will do.

danixbanani24

@kayjay44 he has the thickest of skulls lol but I'm working on it! (with a pickax) 

Our little guys are close in age...I feel his pooping could be partly because of the baby too...but it's ONLY at school so who knows.  I'm worried about when the baby actually comes home too.

thechickendance

My random for the day: Based upon last night's dream, I am starting to realize that this kid will be here soon!   The dream involved baby being born a month early, and getting home and having almost no supplies, changing a diaper and realizing we never bought wipes, needing to go to Target, and the kicker was that we named the baby after me because we couldn't come up with another name.  Needless to say I woke up in a panic wanting to go to Target.

bellebaby221

If DH pulls his typical man cold crap I might just kick him in the crotch so he knows what I've felt like for the past week. And I'll hide all the good medicine too.

hannahbananas11

Just got into work after taking yesterday off. Over 100 unread emails. Good lord. I am dreading my inbox when I come back from maternity leave.

BourbonBiscuits

I am so irrationally irritated that our city moved trick or treating to tonight. Typically we'd go on actual Halloween, but we're forecasted to get torrential rain all day/night tomorrow. It'll be fun, but at the same time my kid wouldn't know if Halloween didn't exist so I was sort of hoping I could just say "sorry too much rain gotta stay in and eat our own Halloween candy!" instead of getting him in the costume and hauling my pregnant ass around the neighborhood without even getting to drink our neighborhood's traditional Hallo-wine.

Gonna be a grumpy bitch about it all day.

kayjay44

I need to actually start prepping for this baby. I have done nothing other than snagging a few warm outfits and two blankets. I need to sit down and make a list of shit to do and shit to get. 

At least I’ve talked the kids into sharing a room!

lzzfrancisco

Waiting to get my blood drawn for GD. I'm fucking hungry and a little dizzy from the sugar I think. Ugh

kdrn913

@BourbonBiscuits our neighborhood tried to change ours too. It’s definitely supposed to rain tomorrow too. I literally scheduled off work so I could take my 2 year old out and was so mad when someone mentioned changing it. I get that it’s supposed to be gross outside but people do make plans for these things! Then someone mentioned just doing it both nights. So help me I’m not going two nights in a row. If anyone knocks on our door tonight in costume I’m gonna be so mad 

etnyah

Same @kayjay44. I have plans and ideas and a registry, but haven’t actually done anything.

I’m a master procrastinator, there are still curtain rods in boxes that have been sitting in the hallway for over a year. This nesting thing is welcome to kick in any day now.

bellebaby221

In the bathroom at work:

Random lady: how much longer do you have? 
Me: about 13 weeks.
Random lady: oh wow!

I'm pretty sure that wasn't a good "wow"...

danixbanani24

@BourbonBiscuits @nursemom913 that's pretty wild.  As a kid I recall Halloween being ON Halloween no matter the weather lol.  It's only rain! Unless it's going to be like really crazy?

danixbanani24

@kayjay44 I need to get my act together too.  I need a new car seat, double stroller, bassinet and definitely need to stock up on crib sheets/blankets/onesies etc.  I've bought a few little outfits and I have buntings from DS but need the big items definitely! 

dcaron10

We actually finally painted and cleaned out the room for baby this weekend. I feel so much better and feeling like it’s more real now! And I think that helped DS realize what’s going on. He started saying stuff was for the baby and pointing to my belly

BourbonBiscuits

@danixbanani24 me too! I distinctly remember being PISSED that I had to wear a rain coat over my pink power ranger costume one year. It's just going to be regular rain - not like a tornado or anything.

hannahbananas11

This was basically my entire childhood regarding Halloween:

kdrn913

Hahahah yes @hannahbananas11! My mom ALWAYS made us wear long sleeves and pants under whatever our costume was! 

becks_726

@hannahbananas11 I literally wore a snow suit under my costume a couple times as a kid. Good times! 

smallbutmighty77

Meanwhile I have friends towns moving trick or treat to today b/c tomorrow is looking like rain. I don't remember good weather halloweens!! Toughen up kids!

BourbonBiscuits

@smallbutmighty77 that's what's happening with me. I am less than thrilled. 

PurplePoppy424

I grew up outside of Detroit. My kids will never know the struggle living down here in SC. 

Also team need to get my shit together. I have purchased nothing for this baby. Literally nothing. Given that I’m going to be 24 weeks on Friday, I probably need to get on that. 

madreofdragons

I live in Portland. If we avoided rainy Halloween we’d have to have it in July. 

etnyah

Same goes for Seattle @madreofdragons!

I didn’t have Halloween growing up, but H grew up in North Dakota and.. yeah. There’s basically never a good time to be outside for anything there, it sounds like. He got the hell out as soon as he could!

megpants209

I don’t want to be the strong one anymore. Can’t I just quit?