@sparklingdiamond maybe she is on vacation? Either way, that’s frustrating and maybe not someone you want to help you if they can’t reapond in a timely manner.
I was also hoping we were going to escape that chart. I know my boys suffered from something specific for identical twins and my last MC was a BO. But I feel like once you have been struck with bad luck, “statistics” mean squat.
*TW* Spoiler
Me: 33 DH:30 DD: Aug '16 10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
@meatballs37 It's been over a 2-3 week period I've tried contacting her. My mom is actually a counselor too and if she's out always puts an out of the office voicemail/email. But maybe this one didn't? Who knows. Oh well I guess I wasn't meant to see her.
Ugh, the chart. I've had 4 miscarriages. The chart does not give me even a little bit of comfort. Just reminds me how "unlucky" I am. And frankly, it means nothing for any woman on an individual basis. I really, really despise the chart.
YES-- that chart. It also gives a lot of false comfort re: MMCs. Like I thought I was 8 weeks, but I had already miscarried in week 7. And for many it goes way longer than that. We can't predict the future. Sometimes we just have to live in the discomfort of uncertainty. That chart cannot tell you if you are going to have a miscarriage, sorry.
@bumblebee0210 I'm especially salty because of the MMC aspect too. I was past 11 wks. I was almost in the "safe zone" and then, I wasn't. Just like that. Damn chart and all it's lies......
@meatballs37@sparklingdiamond Im so sorry that FB is determined to show you memories that bring up painful memories.
@bumblebee0210 it sucks that your US didn’t reassure you. FX that your doctor will get you back in soon and you’ll see baby is growing at a healthy rate. Sometimes if feels like no matter what they say, it won’t take away the fear.
@sparklingdiamond sometimes Facebook memories are awful reminders instead of cherished memories. *hugs*
@bumblebee0210 I have very similar fears. I’m think we just have to keep talking about it and processing with people who know what we’re talking about. I hope this first trimester flies by quickly for you!
In my first pregnancy the chart gave me comfort. Now it makes me want to rain on everyone’s parade. But I won’t. I’ll just complain about it to you guys. Maybe i’ll make a sign saying something like “I am the 2.4%!”
Thank you all so much for your support. I wrote my post when I was very tired last night and I wasn’t very clear so I apologize for any confusion. I had my first appointment today which was just an intake with the nurse. I love this practice. I had a not so good doctor, and practice, last time. Nothing was glaringly wrong. It just wasn’t for me. At the new place, they have a woman on staff 9-5 who I can talk to if I start becoming overwhelmed with anxiety or depression. The nurse really took her time with me and made me feel so comfortable. I’m really happy I made the switch. My first ultrasound is scheduled for November 16th. She also told me the trick to getting a second ultrasound in the first trimester ;-) I feel so much better.
Thank you all so much for your support. It means so much to come here and get the support I need from people who are going through similar experiences.
The chart frustrates me too. Sometimes the statistics help me a little to remind myself that I am more likely to not have a miscarriage than have one (some days for me it feels like the statistics are reversed and that I’m almost definitely going to lose this one too). But, I saw a healthy heartbeat at 8 weeks last time, I only had a 4% chance of miscarriage when it happened, and I got within a day of being 12 weeks before I even suspected anything was wrong, so I thought I was finally in the safe zone. So, most of the time, statistics are just a cruel reminder of how unlucky I was.
previous losses: MMC July 2018 suspicious at 7 weeks & confirmed at 10 weeks.
appointments: I had blood work #4 today & had my 2nd OB appointment. He wants me to go for blood work on Monday & possibly Friday too. My bhCG is on the low end & my doubling time is slowing down. bhCG Oct 16 @ 3w4d = 19 bhCG Oct 19 @ 4w0d = 98 doubling time 30 hrs bhCG Oct 22 @ 4w3d = 315 doubling time 42 hrs bhCG Oct 26 @ 5w0d = 708 doubling time 82 hrs. I was really hoping for it to be around 1,500 at least. OB says US will be no earlier then 6w+3d.
Rants: part of me is so glad I got my BFP at 3w3d but part of me wishes I didn’t. Its been an emotional roller coaster since my LMP ended.
Raves: I decided to seek some emotional support & had my 1st appointment with a psychologist whos speciality is in fertility & prenatal support. I’m going to see her weekly for now.
Milestones. My MMC this summer was my 1st pregnancy. I spotted at 7w1d & then again @ 8w3d. Both days I also had an US but I never got to hear a heart beat so those days plus staying spot free & hearing a heart beat are my milestones.
Feeling: tierd, sore breasts, disinterested in all food, bloated & hightened smell.
3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Very stressed! Slightly nauseous and my hips are sore - definitely wish I felt "more pregnant".
4. Any appointment updates? Had an appt. for Nov 8th but moved it up to Oct 29th because I think I found a lump in my breast. Still nursing so hoping it's just lactation related. And since my appt is at 6 weeks exactly, hoping we're able to see the baby!
5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Anyone else have experience with finding lumps the year after giving birth?
6. Any milestones coming up? We saw our first babes heartbeat a few times before we lost them to a large hemorrhage. Had a hemorrhage my 2nd pregnancy as well but it was smaller and resolved. My milestone would be not seeing any hemorrhage on the first ultrasound! Praying for no bleeding this pregnancy.
7. GTKY: Are you dressing up for Halloween? If so, what’s your costume? What has been your most favorite costume you’ve worn in the past? I didn't dress up but took my 14month old around for the first time. She just started walking last week so it was perfect timing! She was a ballerina
3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Feeling symptoms so I am encouraged, honestly trying not to get excited or invested though
4. Any appointment updates? Drs office is calling me back in the morning tomorrow!
5. Rants/Raves/Questions? TW*** Rant - I saw the post on plus size mama check in about babies starving in utero and it almost broke me. I get annoyed at overly PC language but I can’t handle that. I almost want to walk away from the group because I am not sure I can take it
6. Any milestones coming up?
7. GTKY: Are you dressing up for Halloween? If so, what’s your costume? What has been your most favorite costume you’ve worn in the past? My 1 year old will be a lion, my 3 year old a dinosaur and frankly whatever we can get my daughter to wear will be her costume. This is the first year we live in the country so we used to get dressed up to hand out candy but now we will have to go and get candy
@Dcwtada I’m so sorry you were hurt by what was said on that thread. I hope you feel heard by that poster. I think the way you spoke up was very considerate and got your point across In a constructive way.
@antera23 thank you, I know she had no mean intent and it is not a common trigger by any sense (I didn’t even realized I had one until I read that comment) and I certainly don’t want anyone feeling the need to censor posts or walk on eggshells because of me. I’d rather walk away as opposed to that. I can explain my story so she doesn’t think I am being unreasonable but the other story isn’t mine to tell.
I was looking at my new OB paperwork and super annoyed that it says abortions instead of miscarriages. I know that's the medical term but can't we be sensitive to loss people??
@sparklingdiamond totally agree. I cried when I read my post op report and read that (even though a friend went through it years ago and I was prepared to see). Luckily so far any paperwork has not mentioned it or said "history of miscarriage".
I have so much anxiety for tomorrow. I want to be hopeful but I'm stuck in "this isn't going to go well" mind frame. I'm trying to tell my self there will be a HB, baby will be perfect. But everytime I try I just immediately go back to what happened last time. I feel so aweful for just assuming the worst. I really just want to cry (but I'm at work.....). I don't know what to do with myself.
@prpl11butterfly I'm sorry today is going to be such a hard/long day for you - it gives me anxiety just thinking about US day. Just remember that you are strong and you will get through it. And I will be sending you all the positive thoughts today and tomorrow.
@prpl11butterfly I am right there with you. My first ultrasound is tomorrow morning and part of me doesn't even want to go because I half expect to get bad news. I hate it so much. I'll be thinking of you.
@prpl11butterfly and @sparklingdiamond Same boat for me. My ultrasound is in half an hour and we should see the yolk sac or it’s over. I’m sitting in my car outside of the clinic because I can’t bring myself to go in yet. Best of luck to you ladies tomorrow.
@prpl11butterfly I felt awful for thinking the worst too. It's so hard not to after multiple losses. I will be thinking of you all day tomorrow! What time is your appointment?
TW
Me: 33 DH: 32 DS: March 2014 DD: May 2015 BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN
@bakerstreetboys@sparklingdiamond@prpl11butterfly I know that feeling all too well, it’s so hard to get out of your head. Even going in weekly I’m on edge each time. I hope everything goes well for you today and tomorrow.
@bakerstreetboys I am thinking of you! I hope everything goes well!
@prpl11butterfly it’s so unfair that things like ultrasounds which should be happy are instead huge sources of anxiety. I’m so sorry. Take some time for yourself today. I’ll be thinking of you.
@sparklingdiamond I hope everything goes well tomorrow and you have a beautiful experience. I’ll be thinking of you.
Thanks ladies... we have a yolk sac! I burst into tears. Omg such a relief. One more week and we go back to hopefully see a heartbeat. Managing PGAL brain is a full time job! Will be watching for u/s updates tomorrow!
ETA: RE says that due to a history of loss, no sex for the first trimester. What!? We’ve already had to wait four weeks, so that was a bit of a shock. I think DH took it better than I did
@bakerstreetboys yay! So exciting and what a relief for you guys!
*TW* Spoiler
Me: 33 DH:30 DD: Aug '16 10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
I may not be as active this week. Having a bit of guilt being pregnant again with my son’s first birthday on Friday. I’m in a funk. But I will be popping in to see what is up with the pgal ladies.
*TW* Spoiler
Me: 33 DH:30 DD: Aug '16 10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
Re: PGAL Week of 10/23
I was also hoping we were going to escape that chart. I know my boys suffered from something specific for identical twins and my last MC was a BO. But I feel like once you have been struck with bad luck, “statistics” mean squat.
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
BFP 11/30/2017 | MMC 12/31/2017
BFP 6/22/2018 | CP 6/27/2018
BFP 10/5/2018 | EDD 6/14/2019
Baby girl born 6/19/19
TTC #2 May 2020-November 2021
BFP 7/18/2020 | MonoDi Twins | MMC 9/10/2020
BFP 11/7/2020 | CP 11/9/2020
RE Consult January 2021 | Dx "borderline DOR"/RPL
IVF with PGT:
Standard Antagonist:
ER #1 3/27/2021 7R | 5M | 3F | 2B | 1 PGT-A Normal, 1 low-level mosaic
ER #2 4/22/2021 10R | 7M | 3F | 2B | 0 normal, 2 aneuploid
ER #3 5/19/2021 2R | 1M | 0F
Estrogen Priming Antagonist:
ER #4 7/10/2021 5R | 4M | 3F | 1B | 1 PGT-A Normal
Duostim (Standard Antagonist):
ER #5 9/22/2021 13R | 11M | 8F | 5B | 2 PGT-A Normal, 1 low-level mosaic, 2 aneuploid
ER #6 10/9/2021 9R | 6M | 4 F | 1B | 1 aneuploid
FET #1 11/5/2021 | EDD 7/24/2022
Baby boy born 7/19/22
TTC #3 since May 2023 (ntnp)
IVF Started Fall 2023 (Standard Antagonist)
ER #7 10/6/2023 | 9R | 6M | 5F | 3B | 2 aneuploid, 1 high-level mosaic
ER #8 10/31/2023 | 5R | 4M | 3F | 1B | 1 PGT-A Normal
FET #2 11/27/23 | CP (bHCG = 8)
FET #3 planned Jan 2024
@bumblebee0210 it sucks that your US didn’t reassure you. FX that your doctor will get you back in soon and you’ll see baby is growing at a healthy rate. Sometimes if feels like no matter what they say, it won’t take away the fear.
@bumblebee0210 I have very similar fears. I’m think we just have to keep talking about it and processing with people who know what we’re talking about. I hope this first trimester flies by quickly for you!
In my first pregnancy the chart gave me comfort. Now it makes me want to rain on everyone’s parade. But I won’t. I’ll just complain about it to you guys. Maybe i’ll make a sign saying something like “I am the 2.4%!”
Thank you all so much for your support. I wrote my post when I was very tired last night and I wasn’t very clear so I apologize for any confusion. I had my first appointment today which was just an intake with the nurse. I love this practice. I had a not so good doctor, and practice, last time. Nothing was glaringly wrong. It just wasn’t for me. At the new place, they have a woman on staff 9-5 who I can talk to if I start becoming overwhelmed with anxiety or depression. The nurse really took her time with me and made me feel so comfortable. I’m really happy I made the switch. My first ultrasound is scheduled for November 16th. She also told me the trick to getting a second ultrasound in the first trimester ;-) I feel so much better.
Thank you all so much for your support. It means so much to come here and get the support I need from people who are going through similar experiences.
due date/ W+D: June 28/ 5w+0d
previous losses: MMC July 2018 suspicious at 7 weeks & confirmed at 10 weeks.
appointments: I had blood work #4 today & had my 2nd OB appointment. He wants me to go for blood work on Monday & possibly Friday too. My bhCG is on the low end & my doubling time is slowing down.
bhCG Oct 16 @ 3w4d = 19
bhCG Oct 19 @ 4w0d = 98 doubling time 30 hrs
bhCG Oct 22 @ 4w3d = 315 doubling time 42 hrs
bhCG Oct 26 @ 5w0d = 708 doubling time 82 hrs. I was really hoping for it to be around 1,500 at least.
OB says US will be no earlier then 6w+3d.
Rants: part of me is so glad I got my
BFP at 3w3d but part of me wishes I didn’t. Its been an emotional roller coaster since my LMP ended.
Raves: I decided to seek some emotional support & had my 1st appointment with a psychologist whos speciality is in fertility & prenatal support. I’m going to see her weekly for now.
Milestones. My MMC this summer was my 1st pregnancy. I spotted at 7w1d & then again @ 8w3d. Both days I also had an US but I never got to hear a heart beat so those days plus staying spot free & hearing a heart beat are my milestones.
Feeling: tierd, sore breasts, disinterested in all food, bloated & hightened smell.
2. Previous loss(es)? MC
3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Feeling symptoms so I am encouraged, honestly trying not to get excited or invested though
4. Any appointment updates? Drs office is calling me back in the morning tomorrow!
5. Rants/Raves/Questions? TW*** Rant - I saw the post on plus size mama check in about babies starving in utero and it almost broke me. I get annoyed at overly PC language but I can’t handle that. I almost want to walk away from the group because I am not sure I can take it
6. Any milestones coming up?
7. GTKY: Are you dressing up for Halloween? If so, what’s your costume? What has been your most favorite costume you’ve worn in the past? My 1 year old will be a lion, my 3 year old a dinosaur and frankly whatever we can get my daughter to wear will be her costume. This is the first year we live in the country so we used to get dressed up to hand out candy but now we will have to go and get candy
heard by that poster. I think the way you spoke up was very considerate and got your point across In a constructive way.
DS: March 2014
DD: May 2015
BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d
BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d
BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d
BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN
@prpl11butterfly @sparklingdiamond I’ll be thinking of both of you tomorrow!
@eleven_ it's at 830am. So luckily I just have to get through today and make some slight attempt at sleeping tonight.....
DS: March 2014
DD: May 2015
BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d
BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d
BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d
BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN
@prpl11butterfly it’s so unfair that things like ultrasounds which should be happy are instead huge sources of anxiety. I’m so sorry. Take some time for yourself today. I’ll be thinking of you.
@sparklingdiamond I hope everything goes well tomorrow and you have a beautiful experience. I’ll be thinking of you.
Will be watching for u/s updates tomorrow!
ETA: RE says that due to a history of loss, no sex for the first trimester. What!? We’ve already had to wait four weeks, so that was a bit of a shock. I think DH took it better than I did
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18