PGAL Week of 10/23

nmbrcrnchr1 · October 2018

This thread is a safe place for those who are pregnant after a loss. (PGAL). If you have suffered a loss please feel free to answer the questions below and keep things going throughout the week as a continuing conversation.

If you haven’t suffered a loss, please refrain from answering the questions, but know we welcome anyone who wants to come in and support the PGAL ladies and their milestones with encouragement or love tits! Thank you!

1. How many weeks are you?

2. Previous loss(es)?

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically?

4. Any appointment updates?

5. Rants/Raves/Questions?

6. Any milestones coming up?

7. GTKY: Are you dressing up for Halloween? If so, what’s your costume? What has been your most favorite costume you’ve worn in the past?

prpl11butterfly · October 2018

1. How many weeks are you? 7 today

2. Previous loss(es)? MMC in Mar @ 11wks, CP in Sept

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Physically ok. Nausea comes and goes (especially if I dont eat enough carbs 😩). Sore boobs, hip and back pain, and really just tired all the time. Emotionally I'm so/so. I'm trying to relax and be happy and "enjoy" being pregnant (quotes because I dont even feel pregnant so hard to enjoy it) but I'm skeptical and hesitant. DH asked me about names last night and I just can't even bring myself to talk about it. I think about it, but to actually say the names is scary.

4. Any appointment updates? Follow up US next Wed

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? I agreed to MIL bringing dinner over tonight even though DH may not be home in time. I'm already stressed out about it. Shes coming around 530/45 and I get home at like 515/30. Also, my maternity tights are MIA even though I was wearing them last week. I remember throwing them in the laundry but now they are no where to be found

6. Any milestones coming up? I mean, if everything is going okay in my ute, then i have made it past the point of where we officially lost the baby. I still need to get to week 12 since it was discovered around 11+5

7. GTKY: Are you dressing up for Halloween? If so, what’s your costume? What has been your most favorite costume you’ve worn in the past? DH got us superman and wonder woman shirts to wear. Nothing fancy but it's the first time hes ever dressed up! My favorite costume was my honey bee about 10 years ago. When I was in much better shape..... 😂

meatballs37 · October 2018

1. How many weeks are you? 6+3

2. Previous loss(es)? 22w, 29w, and 6w

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? You would think after seeing the heartbeat on Tuesday, and the baby measuring on time would be enough to calm my brain, but it isn’t. I still can’t get rid of that nagging feeling that my beta didn’t rise great over the weekend. I have that sinking feeling that our next appointment in two weeks we will find baby has stopped growing or something. Ugh. I want to fast forward through first tri and get to the point where I can feel baby move and start using my Doppler.

4. Any appointment updates? Next appointment in two weeks (which reminds me, I need to schedule it). To check for baby growth and monitor two cysts.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? We have made it past our first milestone. My last loss in July was at 6+2 when I had my D & C.

6. Any milestones coming up? My next milestone is at 22 weeks...so yeah next year or aka forever.
My son’s first birthday is next Friday. I can’t believe it’s been a year and I’m sort of dreading that day.

7. GTKY: Are you dressing up for Halloween? If so, what’s your costume? What has been your most favorite costume you’ve worn in the past? Confession: I kind of hate Halloween and dressing up. We don’t do the whole dress up as a family thing. But we will take DD out to trick or treat.

bakerstreetboys · October 2018

1. How many weeks are you? 5 today

2. Previous loss(es)? Three in the past year

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Physically ok other than tired and sore hips and back. Trouble sleeping and heartburn sometimes. Still waiting to really "feel" pregnant. Emotionally, about as well as can be expected I guess. Trying to take it a day at a time while also being pragmatic.

4. Any appointment updates? Next ultrasound on Tuesday, really hoping to see a yolk sac. U/s still freak me out because that's how we found out about our MMC.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? I booked tomorrow off so I'm looking forward to that! Going out for dinner with a couple of friends tonight and wondering if I'll be able to make it home by 8:30 for my bed time

6. Any milestones coming up? Not yet...feel like I need to make it to the second tri

7. GTKY: Are you dressing up for Halloween? If so, what’s your costume? What has been your most favorite costume you’ve worn in the past? Nah, I won't dress up, I'm not a big Hallowe'en person.

@prpl11buttefly I can't talk about names yet either. They're in my head, but I can't bring myself to get that excited yet. We'll get the NIPT done at 10 weeks so if everything looks good then, we'll also know the sex, and I might let go of some of the anxiety then. Good luck with MIL and finding your tights!

ruby696 · October 2018

1. How many weeks are you? 4+6

2. Previous loss(es)? MMC 2013, CP 2017, MMC 7/2018, CP 9/2018.

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Feeling okay emotionally. I'll start getting nervous once my US date approaches. Physically, I'm just tired and bloated. And oddly reassured by heartburn.

4. Any appointment updates? I have an appt Nov. 13th at a time which is really inconvenient, but I'm thinking about keeping it because I'll be further along. Downside is if I get bad news, I'll be expected back at work.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Rant: my midwife no longer works on the one day of the week that I can schedule appointments easily, so I think I'm going to have to go with someone else. Ugh.

6. Any milestones coming up? I've passed my CP milestones, so that's something. My first MMC was at 8 weeks, discovered at 10, so I really just want to get through 1st tri.

7. GTKY: Are you dressing up for Halloween? If so, what’s your costume? What has been your most favorite costume you’ve worn in the past? Eh, I'm not one for dressing up. I can't remember the last time I did it. I love getting my kids dressed up though.

@prpl11butterfly DH loves a certain boys name and has wanted to use it for each of our pregnancies that turned out to be losses. That name is officially off the list. I can't even go there at this point and I feel like its probably cursed.

ETA: tag

cfoz · October 2018

1. How many weeks are you? 5

2. Previous loss(es)? One at 7 weeks

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? I am so nervous and anxious about getting past that 7 week mark. I still don’t “feel” pregnant so I live in this constant state of fear that I’m not actually still pregnant.

4. Any appointment updates? I have an 8 week appointment in three weeks.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? I’m just so thrilled and grateful I was able to get pregnant again.

6. Any milestones coming up? Not really

7. GTKY: Are you dressing up for Halloween? If so, what’s your costume? What has been your most favorite costume you’ve worn in the past? Nope- we don’t have kids yet so we don’t dress up for Halloween. Plus I’ll be seeing Hamilton that night!!!

srscott3 · October 2018

1. How many weeks are you? 7+6

2. Previous loss(es)? CP 12/17, MC 2/18

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Getting more and more nauseous and more and more tired. Also, heartburn is killing me. But I’m happy to have the symptoms! Emotionally I’m feeling very high anxiety and it’s raising my BP. I’ve used my at home monitor all week and it’s been high every time.

4. Any appointment updates? First US/OB appointment today at 2.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Anyone have one of those weighted blankets to help with anxiety/sleep? Thinking about getting one or asking for one for Christmas.

6. Any milestones coming up? Passed my MC milestone last week!

7. GTKY: Are you dressing up for Halloween? If so, what’s your costume? What has been your most favorite costume you’ve worn in the past?
I’m going to be Winnie the Pooh, DD is piglet, and DH is Christopher Robin.
I liked ours from last year too. DD was a taco, DH was sriracha, and I was Modelo

sparklingdiamond · October 2018

1. How many weeks are you? 6+3

2. Previous loss(es)? CP, M/C around 6 weeks, and still birth at 32 weeks this past March.

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Just super tired. And freaking out at every little twinge my body makes. I still have 6 days until my first u/s and it's torture waiting so long.

4. Any appointment updates? First u/s with the RE is Wed and first OB appt is Thurs

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Nothing at the moment.

6. Any milestones coming up? Just seeing the heartbeat on the u/s will be mine. I never saw it with the m/c.

7. GTKY: Are you dressing up for Halloween? If so, what’s your costume? What has been your most favorite costume you’ve worn in the past? I'm not, but DS is dressing up as Gecko from PJ Masks.

dntstpbelieveing · October 2018

1. How many weeks are you? 6+2

2. Previous loss(es)? MC last may

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? I am exhausted. Today so far has been manageable with MS but I dont have high hopes.

4. Any appointment updates? Waiting for the MFM to call and schedule. My next apt with my OB for a US is 11/13/2018. Need to do my 24 hour urine screen at some point.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Not really, just wishing it were the weekend already.

6. Any milestones coming up? My next US would be mine.

7. GTKY: Are you dressing up for Halloween? If so, what’s your costume? What has been your most favorite costume you’ve worn in the past? I am not a huge Halloween fan. We dont trick or treat (I find the concept of telling my kid to take candy from strangers odd). DS is obsessed with pumpkins though so we may decorate some. He does have a costume for daycare. Mostly because my friend's daughter had a Disney dress up party for her birthday this summer and he went as Woody.

mackorori · October 2018

1. How many weeks are you? 8 weeks today

2. Previous loss(es)? MMC 7/16 and 8/17

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically?
Physically...sore breasts and a stomach that feels on the edge of nausea but never really gets there. Emotionally...with a good US yesterday things are more positive today. Yoga has been helpful for me both physically and mentally through this time.

4. Any appointment updates?
I get monitored weekly given prior MC, so will have another US next Wednesday

5. Rants/Raves/Questions?
Rave - I'm getting the white progesterone suppositories Rant - It will cost me more as it's a non-preferred brand. I will still get them, a small price to pay to not see the pink/red discharge. You can tell it's some sort of synthetic color and not actual spotting, but still it can mess with the PGAL mind...

6. Any milestones coming up?
My first MC was at 11 weeks, so getting through the first trimester is big. Our issue is that I'm older, which means a higher chance for chromosomal abnormalities. Most of the time it results in losses early on, but unfortunately I know people who've MC for this reason when further along. So after that first big hurdle I'll probably feel a bit more settled, but probably not really until I see a healthy baby in my arms.

7. GTKY: Are you dressing up for Halloween? If so, what’s your costume? What has been your most favorite costume you’ve worn in the past?
I roll with the "Halloween is not my thing" team. I never been into dressing up and then just had too many years of being young and forcing myself to go out with friends and dealing with people who couldn't hold their liquor and acted worse since they were in costume. That being said, I do think it's great for the kids and look forward to being at home and having them come by. I love that they so excited and seeing what they dress up as. Once I have kids, I'll get excited for them too.

kjr9519 · October 2018

1. How many weeks are you? 5+4

2. Previous loss(es)? MMC 7/18

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? I’ve had a lot of nausea the past few days. I’m not feeling it this morning, but I’m not going to worry until it’s been away for a few days. Right now, I’m going to enjoy the break and go to lunch with a friend and actually be able to eat something. My anxiety has been temporarily better because of the nausea, so I’ve been feeling okay emotionally.

4. Any appointment updates? I’ve got one scheduled for Nov. 14th. It’s still 3 weeks away, though, so it’ll be a tough 3 weeks.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? None today.

6. Any milestones coming up? I’ll be farther along at the ultrasound than I was last time at my first ultrasound, so I think that might make me feel a little better. I won’t really pass any milestones until 12 weeks, though.

7. GTKY: Are you dressing up for Halloween? If so, what’s your costume? What has been your most favorite costume you’ve worn in the past? No, I’ve never really liked the dressing up aspect of Halloween although I love the holiday in general. When I was thinking ahead during my last pregnancy, I was considering doing some kind of costume incorporating what would have been a pretty good-sized bump in. So, the thought of planning a costume kind of makes me sad. DH and I will probably do some sort of game night with friends on Halloween this year.

nmbrcrnchr1 · October 2018

1. How many weeks are you? 8 weeks

2. Previous loss(es)? Ectopic in Feb 2018

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Emotionally I’m better today than I have been this week. My Next US is a week from today and I’m actually more excited than nervous right now. Physically, I’m exhausted, nausea is still bad but I’m dealing with it.

4. Any appointment updates? 2nd US a week from today

5. Rants/Raves/Questions?

6. Any milestones coming up? Passed those already so just hoping baby is still growing in there.

7. GTKY: Are you dressing up for Halloween? If so, what’s your costume? What has been your most favorite costume you’ve worn in the past? I thought maybe I was in the minority here but I guess not, we don’t really dress up for Halloween either. We have a few times but nothing too exciting. I’m currently working on DDs costume for next week, she is excited.

bumblebee0210 · October 2018

1. How many weeks are you? 6w6d

2. Previous loss(es)? MMC dec 2017, CP jul 2018

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Physically: sick. Vomited after giving a lecture Tuesday morning. Have been taking unisom at bedtime since, which has helped a lot. Emotionally: was holding it together but US is to tomorrow and I’m a wreck.

4. Any appointment updates? First US tomorrow at 7w.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Rave: unisom. Seriously it has toned down the MS from vomiting to queasy, and turned me into a semi-functional human being.

6. Any milestones coming up? Yes— last time at 7w we had an ultrasound with a slow heartbeat which we didn’t know was such a bad sign. At 8w we went back and there was no heartbeat. So this time I am fixated on 120.

7. GTKY: Are you dressing up for Halloween? If so, what’s your costume? What has been your most favorite costume you’ve worn in the past? We went to an early haloween party and I was Mr. Oogie Boogie from the nightmare before Christmas (DH was the mayor). Weird I know but DH loves Halloween. For actual Halloween I am looking forward to giving out candy at our new house.

sparklingdiamond · October 2018

@bumblebee0210 I will be thinking of you tomorrow!

srscott3 · October 2018

@bumblebee0210 good luck tomorrow! I definitely understand the being nervous of a low HB. I had my US today and held my breath until she told me it was above 120.

ruby696 · October 2018

@bumblebee0210 Fingers crossed for a great US tomorrow.

TJtheGoat · October 2018

@srscott3 I want one of those weighted blankets too! I love the feeling of being under heavy blankets and pillows; it’s so comforting.

Also, glad to see I’m not the only one who isn’t in to Halloween and costumes. I like candy, but dressing is too much work.

1. How many weeks are you? 8+2

2. Previous loss(es)? CP April 18

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Still so tired and nauseated and lots of cramping, but thank goodness no spotting. I was feeling better anxiety-wise after the ultrasound and seeing the heartbeat, but now it’s vreeping back in.

4. Any appointment updates? Second US Nov 9. We will also meet with the midwife that day to decide if we want to continue with her through the pregnancy.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Ugh, well I’m outed at work. I realllly didn’t want people at work to know yet, but I was having trouble keeping up and I have some work duties that I’m morning comfortable with at this point (firearms qualification, suspect interviews, search warrants, etc) so I had to tell my supervisor. Which means everyone knows since he has no sense of discretion. He actually wanted me to send an email to my whole office. WTF is wrong with some people. So of course now I’m extra anxious because everyone knows and if something does happen it will be all public knowledge

6. Any milestones coming up? No

7. GTKY: Are you dressing up for Halloween? If so, what’s your costume? What has been your most favorite costume you’ve worn in the past? I’m not a Halloween fan either. I did dress as the girl from Mortal Kombat a couple years ago and that was a big hit. A couple of my friends didn’t even recognize me under my wig and makeup.

elliecele17 · October 2018

@TJtheGoat OMG I’m shocked that he wanted you to write an office wide email. How disconnected can someone be.

antera23 · October 2018

@bumblebee0210 I will be thinking of you tomorrow!!

@TJtheGoat your supervisor sounds like a man, lol. Im sorry.

1. How many weeks are you?
5+4.

2. Previous loss(es)?
MMC at 10 weeks 7/27 of this year.

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically?
I would say I’m feeling good but I don’t think that’s true. I panic whenever I haven’t felt sick for a bit. The nausea reassures me. Which isn’t a normal reaction. I got on anxiety medication right before I found out I was PG the last time so I think it’s helping a lot. I mostly feel ok. I’m terrified for my ultrasound. When we went in last time I was two weeks behind where I should have been. Later I found out the baby had stopped developing 4 days after the ultrasound.

4. Any appointment updates? I have my first appointment tomorrow. I’m excited!

5. Rants/Raves/Questions?
Speaking of the last time. When I went in for my first ultrasound they said I was 2 weeks behind where I should have been. I assumed that was correct because I have PCOS and ovulate all over the place. But according to my numbers that means the egg would have been fertilized and 7 days later I would have gotten my BFP. That’s impossible, right? I’m just scared i’ll be behind again when I go into my ultrasound.

6. Any milestones coming up?
Due to the uncertainty of my last pregnancy I won’t feel safe until I hear the heartbeat after the first trimester.

7. GTKY: Are you dressing up for Halloween? If so, what’s your costume? What has been your most favorite costume you’ve worn in the past?
Nope. I don’t really like Halloween. I used to when I could go trick or treating and get candy. When I was 13 my friend and I babysat for her moms Company Halloween party. It was awful. The adults were getting drunk and arguing and being unruly. Plus they were all dressed up in costumes so it was even creepier. My friend and I found one lady in the bathroom crying with a broken mirror on the ground around her. I think that’s the real reason why I don’t like Halloween anymore

antera23 · October 2018

Oh I also don’t feel super tired right now so that’s freaking me out

srscott3 · October 2018

@antera23 The welcoming of the nausea isn’t completely abnormal! I think a lot of PGAL moms have a love/hate relationship with symptoms.
It’s not impossible to turn a test that early, just unlikely. Implantation is most common 9 days after fertilization but can happen anywhere from 7 days after to 12 days after. And then you still don’t turn a test positive until 2-3 days after implantation. So I’m actually thinking you may be further along than you think. Is it possible the day you think fertilization occurred is off? Possibly a few days earlier?

eta: I just reread what you wrote. You’re saying that you got a BFP 7days after when you think the egg was fertilized right?

antera23 · October 2018

@srscott3 thank you for responding. I never asked my doctor because I was confused, scared and then sad. Last time I was pregnant I went in for an ultrasound at what I thought was 8 weeks. They said the baby was measuring 6 weeks. That ultrasound was June 29th. I got my BFP on June 9th. Because the doctors measure how far along you are based on a normal 28 day cycle you’re usually not even pregnant for the first two weeks. So that means according to their measurements of 6 weeks I would have conceived on June 1st. So yes, I would have gotten a BFP 7 days after the egg was fertilized. Which doesn’t seem possible to me. I hope that all makes sense, lol. It’s hard for me to explain.

Edit it to add: I forgot to say, I got my first faintest ever positive on the morning of June 5th or 6th and then a faint positive in the afternoon June 8th.

More edits: I realize now my question was misleading. I had a question about my previous pregnancy which was making me nervous about this pregnancy.

jessica4141 · October 2018

1. How many weeks are you? 8+5

2. Previous loss(es)? Ectopic 3/18; CP in August

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Emotionally, I’m feeling pretty anxious. I had to resechedule my u/s to early next week because of a work conflict. Its only 5 days later than it was supposed to be but I am just so desperate to see the baby again and confirm that it’s on track. Physically, I’m not too hot these days either. I have all day long nausea and aversions to almost everything, so its hard to eat enough (yet the bloat is real and none of my pants fit).

4. Any appointment updates? u/s on 10/30

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? None this week

6. Any milestones coming up? I’m past my loss milestones, but my due date (based on LMP) of the ectopic is in a couple of weeks. My friend is having her baby shower that same day and while I’m happy for her - and happy to be pregnant again - it’s still going to be hard day for me.

7. GTKY: Are you dressing up for Halloween? If so, what’s your costume? What has been your most favorite costume you’ve worn in the past?
I think I’m in the minority but I used to be really into Halloween as a kid/teenager (total theater nerd growing up). My favorite costume in the past was probably Marie Antoinette - I somehow finagled a huge dress from my HS theater costume closet and really committed and did a terrible fake French accent all night. I’ve definitely gotten lazier in recent years and I’m not planning to dress up at all this year. Not going to lie - costumes will be making a comeback in a major way if we have a little squish next October!

bumblebee0210 · October 2018

Ugh. Supposed to be 7w by lmp (6w6d by wondfo ov test), measuring 6w2d, hb 111. So if I’m wrong about O day, fine. If I’m not... ?

just wish I could have gotten a “measuring right on time! Hb 140!” Now I feel like I’m just back in the waiting game.

srscott3 · October 2018

@antera23 ahhhh..makes so much more sense now. I definitely thought you were talking about this current pregnancy. FX for good measurements and a strong HB today!

bakerstreetboys · October 2018

Good luck at your ultrasound today @antera23 !!
@bumblebee0210 I'm sorry you're feeling like you're in limbo again. Did the tech or doctor say anything about it? Can you go back again soon?
@TJtheGoat Your boss sounds like an asshat!

prpl11butterfly · October 2018

@antera23 best of luck today!!

@bumblebee0210 sorry that you don't feel more reassured. If you ovulated 1.5 to 2 days after your + OPK, the dates are not that far off at all.

nmbrcrnchr1 · October 2018

@antera23 GL today!
@bumblebee0210 sorry you didn’t get that reassurance, but agree with others that those dates aren’t that far off, also, depending on US equipment/technician sometimes measurements can be off a day or 2. Hopefully they will give you another US soon to help ease your mind

mackorori · October 2018

@bumblebee0210 sorry to hear the US wasn’t reassuring today, but if it helps...at my 6 1/2 week US my RE said at this stage +/- 5 days is not unusual and a HB over 100 made them happy. Praying all turns out well for you.

bumblebee0210 · October 2018

Thanks guys. Tech was totally chipper, but sometimes I feel like they are more used to people not knowing when they ovulate. She said anything over 100 is great, baby is basically on schedule. Called doctor, waiting to hear back. I figure she will either order another scan in a week or so or tell me everything is fine and I should chill the f*ck out.

The thing is like, if I had not read the papers on fetal hb and miscarriage I would be totally jazzed right now. So I’m trying to keep it in perspective. Even 110-120 at 7weeks was not like, horrible, the majority of those women did not miscarry either. But I just wanted... I don’t know. More I guess.

prpl11butterfly · October 2018

@bumblebee0210 we all totally understand. This game of having to second guess EVERYTHING is frustrating and exhausting. FX that your doc can reassure you with another US in the coming week/weeks.

ncm1919 · October 2018

1. How many weeks are you? 6+6

2. Previous loss(es)? Oct 17. Never thought to figure out what kind of MC it was

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally? Physically? Emotionally much better. Physically I feel swollen and hot. My rings are strangling my fingers.

4. Any appointment updates? u/s was yesterday. Go to the doctor in 2 weeks I believe

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? None this week

6. Any milestones coming up? We are right when I Had my MC last time. I got to see the heart beat yesterday so that was amazing. We both got a little teary.

7. GTKY: Are you dressing up for Halloween? If so, what’s your costume? What has been your most favorite costume you’ve worn in the past? I’m not dressing up. My mother makes my daughters costume and it’s adorable. I’m just bundling up. My favorite costume is when my besties dressed up like the bitchy seniors in dazed and confused. Wish I still fit in that costume. Oh well.

sparklingdiamond · October 2018

@antera23. Good luck today!

@bumblebee0210 I'm sorry it wasn't more reassuring for you. But I have heard it can be up to 5 days off on the first u/s as well. I know it's hard not to stress.

You know how FB does the memories thing? A couple of days ago my memory popped up where we found out we were having a girl. It made me kinda sad.

prpl11butterfly · October 2018

@sparklingdiamond I'm so sorry. It's really hard to have those reminders. Lots of hugs.

sparklingdiamond · October 2018

@prpl11butterfly Thank you! I know a lot of tougher memories are about to pop up as we found out more about her diagnosis shortly after. I am trying to get DH and I into counseling to try and help with the anxiety this time.

meatballs37 · October 2018

@sparklingdiamond hugs to you. Counseling really helped me a lot this last year. I lope you guys find a good fit, sometimes that’s the hardest part.

This is our first grief season right now too. I hate memories at the moment. I’m tempted to delete them all.

bumblebee0210 · October 2018

Thanks for all of the support guys. I just talked to the doctor and she said the same thing— +/-5 days and a hb 110-160 is what they’re looking for, and she found the scan very reassuring and sees no need for a follow-up until the next scheduled visit (10w). I feel better after talking to her— I think I was fixated on 120 and missed the broad fact that there is a little bean in there! With a heartbeat! And it’s growing! So I’m going to try to just focus on that.

@sparklingdiamond @meatballs37, you guys are seriously amazing women. As bad as miscarriage is, I can’t imagine what you two have been through. Be kind to yourselves.

kjr9519 · October 2018

@bumblebee0210 I’m so sorry your u/s wasn’t more reassuring. I hope you get another u/s scheduled soon.

@sparklingdiamond I’m sorry about the memories on Facebook. Those can be so painful.

carleym93 · October 2018

1. How many weeks are you? 8w0d

2. Previous loss(es)? One elective abortion due to unviable baby, one CP

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Emotionally I’m all over the place. I’m just trying to get through to the second trimester but honestly I don’t think that will help. Physically I’m actually okay. This pregnancy I feel very similar to how I felt with my first unviable baby, so that’s really messing with me. With DD I felt so much sicker so the fact that I feel pretty decent worries me.

4. Any appointment updates? My next appointment is 11/14 so waiting for that.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Has anyone had their cervix measured this early? I went to the ER for bleeding last week and they measured my cervix at 1.7 cm which is obviously way too short. I’ve read cervical measurements are inaccurate this early but not helping my anxiety at all.

6. Any milestones coming up? Nope.

7. GTKY: Are you dressing up for Halloween? If so, what’s your costume? What has been your most favorite costume you’ve worn in the past? I’m not. I wanted to, but I just can’t find anything I like that isn’t insanely overpriced and I’m way too tired for DIY right now.

prpl11butterfly · October 2018

@carleym93 ❤

I'm pretty bummed that that chart has been posted. I thought we'd get through without someone doing it. I was wrong. I hate that chart. I'm not opening it. I can't see it or the "this makes me feel so much better" comments that will follow. That chart lied to me.

sparklingdiamond · October 2018

@prpl11butterfly I don't like that chart either. I don't even want to look at it. I know my daughter had a chromosome issue but in my mind she was supposed to make it.

@meatballs37 I found one counselor who used to be a NICU nurse and everything and deals with child loss. She sounded perfect but she won't respond to me. I emailed and called. I found a male counselor who also specialized in child loss. I've never seen a male before but giving it a chance.

Thanks for all the continued support ladies. I'm really glad to have you guys.

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PGAL Week of 10/23

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