@cmjenkies You're completely right, "natural" birth is a terrible thing to call it, because all birth is natural, no matter how it happens. I'm sorry about that. Honestly, I wasn't sure what to call it instead. Unmedicated birth? Intervention-free birth?
I feel like I've seen birth plan discussions get a little ugly elsewhere. A lot of tough feelings and firmly held beliefs and emotionally-fraught medical situations are involved for all of us in why we choose the birth plans that we do, and it was in the hope of being respectful toward everyone's personal decisions that I thought it might make sense to separate the two (maybe one birth plan thread for those aiming to go medication free, and one for those preferring more active pain management?). Once you get into the nitty gritty of Lamaze vs. Bradley vs. Hypnobabies, for example, a lot of fraught personal values quickly get tangled up in the conversation. It was in the hopes of avoiding arguments about those things that I thought it might make sense to have a separate thread.
But I'm really happy to do a shared thread if that's what people want, and I didn't mean to imply that one kind of birth plan is better than the other. The most important thing, I think, is for all of us to feel safe and empowered making the choice that feels right for us.
I'd be interested in reading a thread about unmedicated birth plans too @jessier19! I plan on being as drugged as can be and probably won't participate, but it still fascinates me and I'm sure there would be helpful info for everyone regardless of preferred birth method. These babies are all going to come out somehow, might as well know about all kinds of options and coping techniques!
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
@grebretso All my preggo dreams have been the same, random and bizarre; however, the two baby dreams I had it was a girl, and that turned out to be true!
@hollyvenelle That's really cool! I have no idea why my subconscious self decided it's a girl, I've been saying "he" for the most part and have a feeling it's a boy (if for no other reason than H and I being unable to come up with a boy name, but we have two girl names we like). Hopefully we'll find out during my AS Friday!
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
@jessier19 honestly, this is my third, and I’ve never had a legit birth plan because a lot who do just end up disappointed whenever it doesn’t go exactly the way they want and it brings unnecessary stress and clouds their joy at delivery. I don’t have the time or energy for that, so I don’t really have much of a dog in the fight but I know it’s a thing these days and I do have some close friends who had unplanned (or planned) CS and really struggled with people referring to only unmedicated, vaginal births as “natural,” so I just wanted to throw that into the discussion as something to consider.
See when I say “natural” birth, I don’t even really mean unmedicated- I guess I should say “vaginal” but maybe that is not as quick to roll off the tongue. but I do definitely agree that saying “natural” implies that anything not within that definition (whatever it may be) is “unnatural”, which is absolutely not an appropriate assessment. There should be a better word I use from now on - maybe I’ll have to get comfier throwing vaginal around lol.
Regardless, I think a general thread about birth is the most appropriate because we are still, really, SO far away and have no idea what our little babies have planned for us lol. I’d just like to learn more about past experiences and plans!
Seconding all the comments about wanting to read as many birth plans as possible. I wanted ALLLLLL the drugs with my first, ended up with the epidural not working (well ... I got all the nasty side effects and none of the pain management, so I guess it worked in a way?) and had to go virtually med-free anyway and was totally unprepared. I wish I'd known more about how to get through that without yelling all the obscenities at those poor nurses.
@grebretso I thought DS was a girl up until the night before our AS when I had a dream about a little boy almost exactly as old as he is now (18 months) and then I just knew he was a boy. So weird.
@BourbonBiscuits that is the main reason I hope to avoid cs. I’ve reacted poorly to anesthesia/numbing three surgeries in a row and am worried the half-body numbing (whatever the technical term is) wouldn’t work and I’d have to be put fully under. Had you ever had issues with anything like that before?? (If you don’t mind me asking).
@mommin135 During my 2nd c/s there was apparently an issue with how well the spinal worked. I was numb as far as I could tell until they started cutting the second layer deep. I could feel them making the incision. They tried to numb me with local lidocaine but when I screamed with the next cut they knocked me out. Woke up an hour or so later having missed the "it's a boy" and all of his first minutes. I was devastated. I've already conveyed this to my new OB and she is planning to have me meet with the anesthesiologist in advance of my scheduled c/s for this one. So I'm hoping to come up with a full plan with him/her and my OB so I can make sure I'm comfortable. I want zofran on board to prevent nausea and I want to triple check that I'm giving antibiotics. I had a friend that didn't get hers and she nearly got septic from a post op infection.
@BourbonBiscuits That is so weird! I’m starting to think it’s a girl now based on that dream, which is making me feel pretty silly. But hey, in your case your dream was right! I guess there’s a 50/50 chance of either, haha.
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
@bellebaby221 that is horrifying I'm SO sorry you had to go through that. I remember reading an article recently about a woman that could feel everything during her CS. I'm glad you are making a plan with your OB and talking to the anesthesiologist up front.
Just had a super fun phone call with my clinic's billing department. At my appointment on 9/17, I paid the full balance on my account of $84.57 for labwork done in July/August. Today, I got a bill in the mailbox dated 9/27, but for lab work that happened back in July/August. The amount due was $84.57. Suspicious. I called the billing department, and gave them the invoice number from my payment made at the clinic for that exact amount (thank god I kept that invoice!). Lady put me on hold, and a minute later came back on and said "Oh yes, I see that you've already paid this. It was just never applied to your patient account. I've clicked that button now, so you can disregard the bill and you should not receive any other bills for this service." Wait, what? You mean to say that when I paid the bill (in person at the clinic!) back in September, that payment was just floating around in your system and was never actually applied to my balance?! The joys of healthcare. Sheesh.
I’m using the same birth plan I’ve used the last two times. Let me see if I can find the template and I’d be happy to post when I see the thread up (and I can find it). It basically covers all types of birth and all scenarios. I just have it printed and ready and give it to the nurse/MW assigned to us before birth and when we get to the hospital.
@bellebaby221 holy - I am so sorry you ended up going through that. That’s terrible. My midwife has mentioned meeting with the anesthesiologist just in case I end up needing to go that route. I will keep the things you mentioned in mind when I do.
@kayjay44 I always thought a “birth flowchart” would be best... your ideals for different situations. Sounds like what you have!
@mommin135 the only other anesthesia I've ever had was numbing/happy gas to get teeth pulled, so I don't have anything to compare it to! It was so bizarre though, because I just assumed it worked and I was being a wimp until the nurses were like "oh sweetie no, you shouldn't be in nearly this much pain"
@bellebaby221 - I didn't have a c/s, but due to my bad scoliosis, I've never had an epi work like it's supposed to. So I've had two natural births (one sunny side up), not by choice. I'm supposed to meet with the anesthesiologist ahead of time, but I'm not going to. In the event I need a c/s this time, I'll just have them knock me out. I don't want to risk it.
@bellebaby221 that’s actually a big reason I don’t want to go the epidural route. I am super tolerant to numbing agents so I don’t even really want to think it might work. During LASIK I felt the entire procedure because I never numbed.
Agree on the term “natural birth” making this c/s momma’s skin crawl. Two scheduled c/s’s under my belt and my section for this baby is already scheduled.
Knowledge is power though so I think a thread sharing different plans/ ideas would be helpful for the board.
Agree on the term “natural birth” making this c/s momma’s skin crawl. Two scheduled c/s’s under my belt and my section for this baby is already scheduled.
Knowledge is power though so I think a thread sharing different plans/ ideas would be helpful for the board.
As someone who has had two vaginal births, I don't like it either. Something could go wrong or change at anytime. That's why I like having a plan that considers all options. I've never planned to have a C/S, but I've had details in my birth plan with regards to having one should one be required at any point.
I had an epidural with DS - went in fine and worked fine but they did "turn it down" while I was pushing (although I'm sure no where NEAR an unmedicated birth.) DS was sunny side up also and I just remember my back feeling insane pain. Fun times, fun times.
Decided to play around with the planned 3 across configuration we’re going to do in my car. Took a minute to freak out that we’re going to have 3 kids in my car.
@sjnsjnsjn right?! I can't wait until we move next week and the Metra will be ground level! The stairs are killer.
TW: 1 infant loss 8/17: Our daughter was born 8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass 2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
@smallbutmighty77- oh nice! Are you moving to the burbs? We are considering it. I was panting like a lunatic when I got on at my stop today after walking up the steps. I think other people on the train were a little terrified they'd have to do some kind of intervention!
@okayestmom12 - I'm still not sure what we will do. We're moving DD to a booster this winter. I kind of want to do her in the middle since I know she can buckle herself....
@sjnsjnsjn we are burbs bound, and far burbs. But with 2 kids, an 85lb dog, and two adults we need more space and a yard. Plus, daycares out there are cheaper and have more space, etc. We close on our house next week so fingers crossed it goes well and the transition to a new daycare isn't a cluster F.
TW: 1 infant loss 8/17: Our daughter was born 8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass 2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
@kayjay44 - I’m not sold on the “baby in the middle” thing just yet.
My middle little is a big guy (he’ll be 4 in March and is 62 lbs and 48”). He has about 5 lbs until he outgrows his harnessed booster so I’m considering buying him the same HBB as my DD has since it’s super narrow and gives more room for their hands to reach down and buckle.
I do want a vehicle with a 3rd row but my car is 8 months from being paid off so I’d rather wait until next summer to buy something new.
On the El right now, standing, 10 mins into my ride, big belly basically in the faces of the two hale and hearty dudes talking to each other, sitting in the "disability" seats. I should win a prize because I just drank my latte instead of "accidentally" pouring it all over them.
Tip to people who have free childcare in the form of family - don’t complain about it. There is a girl in my first BMB that complains constantly about her free childcare and it makes me want to slap her. We’ve paid over $100k in childcare - she’s paid zero dollars and has kids the exact same age. ZERO DOLLARS.
Re: Weekly randoms 10/1-10/5
I feel like I've seen birth plan discussions get a little ugly elsewhere. A lot of tough feelings and firmly held beliefs and emotionally-fraught medical situations are involved for all of us in why we choose the birth plans that we do, and it was in the hope of being respectful toward everyone's personal decisions that I thought it might make sense to separate the two (maybe one birth plan thread for those aiming to go medication free, and one for those preferring more active pain management?). Once you get into the nitty gritty of Lamaze vs. Bradley vs. Hypnobabies, for example, a lot of fraught personal values quickly get tangled up in the conversation. It was in the hopes of avoiding arguments about those things that I thought it might make sense to have a separate thread.
But I'm really happy to do a shared thread if that's what people want, and I didn't mean to imply that one kind of birth plan is better than the other. The most important thing, I think, is for all of us to feel safe and empowered making the choice that feels right for us.
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
but I do definitely agree that saying “natural” implies that anything not within that definition (whatever it may be) is “unnatural”, which is absolutely not an appropriate assessment.
There should be a better word I use from now on - maybe I’ll have to get comfier throwing vaginal around lol.
Regardless, I think a general thread about birth is the most appropriate because we are still, really, SO far away and have no idea what our little babies have planned for us lol. I’d just like to learn more about past experiences and plans!
@grebretso I thought DS was a girl up until the night before our AS when I had a dream about a little boy almost exactly as old as he is now (18 months) and then I just knew he was a boy. So weird.
Had you ever had issues with anything like that before?? (If you don’t mind me asking).
During my 2nd c/s there was apparently an issue with how well the spinal worked. I was numb as far as I could tell until they started cutting the second layer deep. I could feel them making the incision. They tried to numb me with local lidocaine but when I screamed with the next cut they knocked me out. Woke up an hour or so later having missed the "it's a boy" and all of his first minutes. I was devastated.
I've already conveyed this to my new OB and she is planning to have me meet with the anesthesiologist in advance of my scheduled c/s for this one. So I'm hoping to come up with a full plan with him/her and my OB so I can make sure I'm comfortable. I want zofran on board to prevent nausea and I want to triple check that I'm giving antibiotics. I had a friend that didn't get hers and she nearly got septic from a post op infection.
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
The joys of healthcare. Sheesh.
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
My midwife has mentioned meeting with the anesthesiologist just in case I end up needing to go that route. I will keep the things you mentioned in mind when I do.
@kayjay44 I always thought a “birth flowchart” would be best... your ideals for different situations. Sounds like what you have!
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
+1 for supporting a birth plan thread!
Edited for word fails
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
Knowledge is power though so I think a thread sharing different plans/ ideas would be helpful for the board.
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
1 infant loss
8/17: Our daughter was born
8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old
4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
1 infant loss
8/17: Our daughter was born
8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old
4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
My middle little is a big guy (he’ll be 4 in March and is 62 lbs and 48”). He has about 5 lbs until he outgrows his harnessed booster so I’m considering buying him the same HBB as my DD has since it’s super narrow and gives more room for their hands to reach down and buckle.
I do want a vehicle with a 3rd row but my car is 8 months from being paid off so I’d rather wait until next summer to buy something new.
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019