Even after multiple losses, I can't wait until I reveal my pregnancy this time around so that I can get ultrasounds whenever I want. Let me explain, I work at a doctor's office where we have ultrasound machines and sonographers and I will for sure be taking advantage of that fact once I hit 12 weeks and I tell my boss I'm pregnant.
@keighty80 I don’t blame you. I would too if I had access to it. My bff does them and with my last pregnancy, she scanned me a couple of times to see if we could find out the sex early. Of course DS didn’t cooperate though. Womp womp.
FFFC: I’ve never tried a pumpkin spice latte and really have no desire to.
I told work I had to leave for an early lunch meeting then went and drove a few miles down the road and napped in my car for a half hour... sorry not sorry it felt amazing to lay down.
I'm a teacher, and I truly loathe some students. I had a student last period that part of why he gets on my nerves is that he looks EXACTLY like his brother, who drove me crazy two years ago. He is also awful in his own right, but the resemblance doesn't do him any favors.
@brie_and_almonds I was thinking the same thing for the NHIE thread 😂 I felt bad bringing up sex drive in the symptoms thread, but I need answers 💁🏼♀️
@liliumstargazer13 I don’t see how you could teach and NOT loathe some of your students haha I would love to teach for the breaks, but I don’t like other people’s (besides family and friends) kids to be completely honest.
Okay, this is less tame and I feel like I will get flamed. I don't like when I hear about babies under 1 sleeping with blankets. I get some kids are good at pulling blankets off or won't sleep without one, but it's just not a risk I understand taking. That being said, I've been lucky enough that my kid sleeps just fine without anything so I've never been terribly sleep deprived and desperate. And I would never say anything to or correct another parent who was doing it, but I do think it.
TL;DR - it makes me worry but then I also think about how parents need their sanity haha
@DuchessOfCambridge I don’t think that’s flame worthy at all. My son got by just fine with sleep sacks until he was a year so I guess I’m lucky too. I silently judge that too. It’s just not worth he risk to me. But like you said, I never needed it and I am not in their shoes so I would never say anything either.
@keighty80 DS was also in the NICU for a while and the nurses scared the ever living daylights out of me with all of the SIDS stuff. Idk if other NICU parents feel this way, but it's pretty ingrained in me at this point!
@DuchessOfCambridge Absolutely NOT worth the risk for me either, although I'd never say anything. DD just got a little stuffed animal to take to bed with her when she turned 1. I'd be up all night looking at the monitor. Some of the sleep situations make me shudder...swings, rock n plays. I'd rather be sleep deprived than wake up rested to a horrifying situation. I'm passionate about safe sleep, can you tell?!
So my confession is I don't plan on buying much new. Bottles yeah, toys that go in the mouth like rattles yeah.
Other than that its all going to be bought used or my sons hand me downs.
Also I'm not usually superstitious but I feel like this baby is going to be a girl.
I stopped by goodwill to look for maternity pants and spent $28 in baby girl clothes just in case.
Pregnancy #1 DD 08.30.2007 Pregnancy #2 Natural Miscarriage at 6 weeks 03/2014 Due date 11/9/2014 Pregnancy #3 DS 02.23.2015 Pregnancy #4 Missed Miscarriage at 11 weeks 11/2018 Due date 5/22/2019 Pregnancy #5 Positive test 12/11/2019 Due Date 8/17/2020
@psychobutthead are people supposed to buy new bottles/teether toys for each new kid?? I wasn't planning to buy really anything at all for this new LO except diapers🤷♀️
How do I confess this without sounding like a horrible person...
For years, DH's brother and wife have always done major things before us. First to move in together, get engaged, married, homeowners, and parents. But they're sooo condescending towards us about it all. "You guys don't know the stress of planning a wedding yet." "You guys will see someday when you own a house." "Well we've been married for 2 years longer than you, and let me tell you...." "Well after you guys have a kid you won't be going on a lot of vacations" "Oh you have it sooo easy with a newborn. Just wait until she's walking." And not only do they talk down to us like little siblings who are just copying them, but they give us zero credit for anything we do, while when THEY were doing these things, it was all attention on them. We just can't win with them, and even though now we are "tied" in life, we knew that once they had a second kid, it would be like "you guys don't know what it's like to have two kids yet," "oh it must be nice just having the one..."
I don't know if they've been actively trying for a second child and I would feel horrible if they're trying and running into problems, but I must confess that it feels good to finally be a little bit ahead of them in this dumb race that we're apparently in.
Me: 33 DH: 34 Married: Oct 2015 TTC #1: Sept 2016 BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16 BFP: 3/24/17 DD1 born 12/2/17 TTC #2: July 2018 BFP: 8/26/18 DD2 born 5/16/19
Due to multiple issues (me being sick, then hubs being sick, then me being symptomatic) we haven't had sex since we found out I was pregnant. I'm scared to do the deed, even though intellectually I know it's NBD.
@peachy13 I have friends like that...drives me nuts. Everything is a race and they ALWAYS have some sort of "advice" to give. I'd secretly be thrilled that you're having a second before them. Now you can say the "just wait until X" lines
@DuchessOfCambridge and @keighty80 Silent judger as well. 🙋♀️ I also judge when people lay their kids on their stomachs to sleep before they can roll over because "that's the only way they'll sleep." Not worth the risk. I'd be a nervous wreck.
@psychobutthead are people supposed to buy new bottles/teether toys for each new kid?? I wasn't planning to buy really anything at all for this new LO except diapers🤷♀️
I am because I have none of that left from my son. I kept all the big things like carseat and crib. But I didnt keep his bottles so that I need. If I have a deal on a lot of used bottles I would buy and just buy new nipples.
Pregnancy #1 DD 08.30.2007 Pregnancy #2 Natural Miscarriage at 6 weeks 03/2014 Due date 11/9/2014 Pregnancy #3 DS 02.23.2015 Pregnancy #4 Missed Miscarriage at 11 weeks 11/2018 Due date 5/22/2019 Pregnancy #5 Positive test 12/11/2019 Due Date 8/17/2020
@secicc12 oh the unsolicited advice is horrible! Homes, wedding planning, pregnancy, parenting, you name it. I usually just end up going the opposite route. We did our kitchens over at the same time and my SIL said they were going with white and gray tones because that's what was IN, I decorated ours to be wooden/warm tones lol
Me: 33 DH: 34 Married: Oct 2015 TTC #1: Sept 2016 BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16 BFP: 3/24/17 DD1 born 12/2/17 TTC #2: July 2018 BFP: 8/26/18 DD2 born 5/16/19
@peachy13 I have non-parent friends who drive me bonkers and try to one up me as a mother - even though they don't have kids! Examples:
1- We took DS to the beach and it was insanely hard. He was an angel but it was hot and I was worried about the sun and he kept trying to eat sand, etc. Not fun or remotely relaxing for me. My friend with no kids says "oh I always love my nieces and nephews being at the beach" as if she's a better mother than me and how can I not handle it. Hi, NOT THE SAME. You're not solely responsible for them! 2- We had friends with kids over and when my son went down for a nap I was like ok great, break time for me! Nope, another couple's 2 yo kept asking me for water/snacks/playing with her etc. I mentioned to same friend as above that this was frustrating to me bc her parents didn't step in and it was my turn to relax. She responded with "parents don't step in when their kids are with me, I think it's because they know they are safe and I love it and they don't need to". Again, you don't have a child, your whole life is a break. Shhhhhhhhh. 3 - DS was sitting on a counter with me directly in front of him. Friend (different one) goes "hmmm are we safe up there?!" Excuse me, I birthed him and cried hysterically and lost a lot of sleep over him needing to be in the NICU and stuff we've been dealing with since, I'm pretty sure I am 100% the most worried about him EVER.
So anyway. There was a rant. Your ILs annoy me even if they do have a child.
@DuchessOfCambridge I'm like that about car seats. My daughter is technically old/big enough that we could turn her around, but I don't see why I should. Yes, it would be more convenient if I could see/reach her, but I could never forgive myself if something happened to her. I will be keeping her rear facing then in that seat until she has reached the upper limit, not the lower.
@DuchessOfCambridge I am totally with you on safe sleep and making sure there's no blanket or anything too big in the crib (we gave him a tiny lovey at just about a year old) until around 1.5.
My FFFC is that I fully plan on taking a nap while working from home today. The sleepies are too much.
*TW*
Me: 32 │ DH: 35 Married 8/16/13 BFP#1 DS 11/13/16 BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18 BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle
@peachy13 - I definitely understand!! My friends were like that with my wife and I, about kids. One of them handed us her newborn and asked us to change her diaper and they all tittered around us because we were fumbling with the buttons on her onesie. Okay, look. For one thing, those little outfits that button from the foot across the belly up to the neck? They're BULLSHIT. Get the ones with zippers and save yourself 20 minutes of irritation. And two: NO ONE knows how to change a kid's diaper unless they're childcare workers or already parents themselves. I'm an old pro now and I can ninja-diaper a thrashing, screaming 3 year old without breaking a sweat.
And I haaaaaaaaaated the "Just You Wait" comments. Just you wait until they're walking... just you wait until they are picky eaters... just you wait until they're potty training... just you wait until they talk... just you wait until he turns 3 and becomes a monster.
For the record, 3 has been my absolute favorite age. Y'all can f*ck off with your Just You Wait comments and shut up. Every kid is different.
Also, I'm a member of the safe sleep police. Back is best and no blankets or stuffed animals! Sleep sacks are the world's best invention, especially when they include swaddle panels for newborns!
@wishiwaspreggo the just you wait comments are so weird. I never ever say them to any friends with younger babies than mine. It's just mean and feels like wishing ill on others, and not everyone's experience is the same.
@psychobutthead I don't think that's anything to confess, I think that's smart!
@wishiwaspreggo the just you wait comments are so weird. I never ever say them to any friends with younger babies than mine. It's just mean and feels like wishing ill on others, and not everyone's experience is the same.
@psychobutthead I don't think that's anything to confess, I think that's smart!
Maybe I should have rephrased it that im cheap as hell lol
Pregnancy #1 DD 08.30.2007 Pregnancy #2 Natural Miscarriage at 6 weeks 03/2014 Due date 11/9/2014 Pregnancy #3 DS 02.23.2015 Pregnancy #4 Missed Miscarriage at 11 weeks 11/2018 Due date 5/22/2019 Pregnancy #5 Positive test 12/11/2019 Due Date 8/17/2020
One of the first things I did after getting a positive pregnancy tests with this pregnancy was have a small glass of wine. It was kinda an oh shit moment (had not intended on "really" trying for a few months.)
One of the first things I did after getting a positive pregnancy test with my son 2 years ago was to have a cigarette. It was actually the last cigarette i ever had. I still miss it, but not really (if that makes sense to anyone who as ever used tobacco.)
@DuchessOfCambridge Reading about your annoying friends had me gritting my teeth in frustration.
I will 100% admit that before having kids I was clueless about how much work parenting really is, and before having two kids, I was much more of a judgmental B about kids' naughty behavior/seeminngly bizarre parenting choices. My first kid was quite well-behaved and timid, and that's just personality, not really anything I did. My second is spunkier, but still pretty obedient. It will be interesting to see what new appreciation/respect #3 brings.
That said, I still definitely know some people who are terrible parents. I vividly remember being at a party at a friend's house before having kids, and DH and I repeatedly retrieving a toddler from crawling backwards out the back door and down the deck unsupervised, because the family had one of those landscaping ponds maybe 10ft from the back door. Her parents were clueless, oblivious, or both.
I'm not sure I've been pulling the pregnancy card or what, but for weeks now, I've been faking sleep when DD2 wakes up in the middle of the night. DH is a saint and doesn't even try to nudge me awake. So, in other words, while he's been getting up once or twice a night every night, I've been sleeping through.
I like to justify this because I KNOW it will be allll me in a few months. Also, we both know that I suck in the mornings when I get enough sleep, let alone too little.
DD1: June 2014 - VBM4lyfe DD2: October 2016 DC3: coming May 2019
@k2k2tog - My last pregnancy, I stoically toughed out a lot of stuff because I didn't want to seem whiny. This pregnancy? Psh, I'm milking it for all it's worth. I'm not doing this ever again so I may as well enjoy the perks that come with pregnancy. I say go for it, my friend.
@k2k2tog same feelings! I haven’t been able to milk it much yet but hope to as I get further along haha. For a long time, H got to sleep through the night while I got up every three hours to nurse. I’m hoping to nurse again so same thing. He can deal with wakeups for now. Luckily DS STTN now but he wakes up SO EARLY
@DuchessOfCambridge@keighty80@secicc12 I’m the same about anything being in the crib. It’s not worth the risk, and I don’t think I would be able to sleep anyway. My son has always moved all over in his crib throughout the night that I’ve been too paranoid he’d get tangled up in a blanket. I’ve read too many devastating things to feel comfortable with that. He just turned 2 not long ago, and still doesn’t have anything but a crib sheet in his crib. He’s perfectly fine and will wake up in the middle of the night regardless of a pillow or blanket. I believe if they never have it from the start, they’ll never know any different. 🤷🏼♀️
@psychobutthead I don’t plan on buying much of anything new either. We still have everything from DS, so we’ll just reuse it for this one. However, I won’t be able to resist buying personalized and monogrammed things for baby #2 because I’m from the South, and it’s what you do. I also have a feeling this one is a girl. Maybe bc I’ve been so bitchy, and I’m assuming it’s from possible extra estrogen. Kidding, kind of. 😂
@peachy13 That’s so annoying. I love my SIL to death, but she can be somewhat condescending because she has twins, and I just have the one. Granted I know twins are a whole different ballgame, but let me vent about a hard day every now and then too without being one upped with “just imagine if you had that times 2”. I get it, but it shouldn’t feel like a competition.
@liliumstargazer13 I’m that way about car seats too. The weight limit on rearfacing was my deciding factor on getting the extend2fit car seat. I think it goes to 45lbs if I remember correctly. He’s 2 and 30lbs, and if it were up to me, he’d be rear facing til college.
@DuchessOfCambridge@peachy13 I am right there with you. My sister is a pediatric physical therapist. Ever since she went to grad school for it, she has been INSUFFERABLE.
Examples (since I loved your list so much Duchess)... 1. A few weeks ago, the two of us were walking to her place from dinner and she saw a man carrying a baby in a baby carrier front-facing. She had to go on this long rant about how the baby's hips will be misaligned forever. 2. My daughter army crawled for months before finally learning to crawl. My sis would frequently comment about how my daughter would only use one leg to push herself and we might want to get it checked out. 3. One of my daughter's toes SLIGHTLY overlaps another, she said I need to tape it or she won't be able to wear normal shoes. 4. She is so judge-y about people using "containers" - e.g. swings, bouncers, jumperoos and what-have-you. You know, the things that help you actually put the baby down for a half a second to do something. Note she doesn't have kids but always claims when she does she will never use a "baby container"
It's no surprise that we've grown apart since I had my daughter, which is really sad to me but I just can't take her judgment.
@k2k2tog - My last pregnancy, I stoically toughed out a lot of stuff because I didn't want to seem whiny. This pregnancy? Psh, I'm milking it for all it's worth. I'm not doing this ever again so I may as well enjoy the perks that come with pregnancy. I say go for it, my friend.
Same! I’m on progesterone supplements. When I lay down for the required 30 minutes I keep taking naps lol
The minute she gets pregnant @bluesky24 buy her a “container” cause you know she’s gonna use it. We are putting together the walker this weekend so DS can chase the dog.
@bluesky24 wow. That’s incredibly annoying. DS has been doing both PT and OT since he was 2 mo and
1. I forward face often. Not for long periods of time but he loves looking out. 2. OMG just let her be a baby 3. She’s FINE 4. Every PT/OT I’ve talked to has said 20 min 3x/week is fine
Double post! I rarely watch TV during the day and DS never does (just bc I never have it on while he’s awake) but we’re watching Coco now based on the recommendations here and it’s Friday 🤷♀️
@DuchessOfCambridge I KNOW re: all your points. And yes @chucksmom15, I will absolutely buy her a swing or better yet a BUMBO - her worst nightmare.
Not to be overly dramatic, but I had a lot of anxiety at the beginning as a FTM (as I'm sure we all did) and I think her judgment actually made it much worse. I didn't do things that I now know would've made my life easier. Oh well. She's still my sister and I love her but dear lord is she hard to be around right now!
Re: FFFC 9/21
FFFC: I’ve never tried a pumpkin spice latte and really have no desire to.
@liliumstargazer13 I don’t see how you could teach and NOT loathe some of your students haha I would love to teach for the breaks, but I don’t like other people’s (besides family and friends) kids to be completely honest.
like every single time🙈
TL;DR - it makes me worry but then I also think about how parents need their sanity haha
Other than that its all going to be bought used or my sons hand me downs.
Also I'm not usually superstitious but I feel like this baby is going to be a girl.
I stopped by goodwill to look for maternity pants and spent $28 in baby girl clothes just in case.
Pregnancy #2 Natural Miscarriage at 6 weeks 03/2014 Due date 11/9/2014
Pregnancy #3 DS 02.23.2015
Pregnancy #4 Missed Miscarriage at 11 weeks 11/2018 Due date 5/22/2019
Pregnancy #5 Positive test 12/11/2019 Due Date 8/17/2020
For years, DH's brother and wife have always done major things before us. First to move in together, get engaged, married, homeowners, and parents. But they're sooo condescending towards us about it all. "You guys don't know the stress of planning a wedding yet." "You guys will see someday when you own a house." "Well we've been married for 2 years longer than you, and let me tell you...." "Well after you guys have a kid you won't be going on a lot of vacations" "Oh you have it sooo easy with a newborn. Just wait until she's walking." And not only do they talk down to us like little siblings who are just copying them, but they give us zero credit for anything we do, while when THEY were doing these things, it was all attention on them. We just can't win with them, and even though now we are "tied" in life, we knew that once they had a second kid, it would be like "you guys don't know what it's like to have two kids yet," "oh it must be nice just having the one..."
I don't know if they've been actively trying for a second child and I would feel horrible if they're trying and running into problems, but I must confess that it feels good to finally be a little bit ahead of them in this dumb race that we're apparently in.
Married: Oct 2015
TTC #1: Sept 2016
BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
BFP: 3/24/17 DD1 born 12/2/17
TTC #2: July 2018
BFP: 8/26/18 DD2 born 5/16/19
Pregnancy #2 Natural Miscarriage at 6 weeks 03/2014 Due date 11/9/2014
Pregnancy #3 DS 02.23.2015
Pregnancy #4 Missed Miscarriage at 11 weeks 11/2018 Due date 5/22/2019
Pregnancy #5 Positive test 12/11/2019 Due Date 8/17/2020
Married: Oct 2015
TTC #1: Sept 2016
BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
BFP: 3/24/17 DD1 born 12/2/17
TTC #2: July 2018
BFP: 8/26/18 DD2 born 5/16/19
1- We took DS to the beach and it was insanely hard. He was an angel but it was hot and I was worried about the sun and he kept trying to eat sand, etc. Not fun or remotely relaxing for me. My friend with no kids says "oh I always love my nieces and nephews being at the beach" as if she's a better mother than me and how can I not handle it. Hi, NOT THE SAME. You're not solely responsible for them!
2- We had friends with kids over and when my son went down for a nap I was like ok great, break time for me! Nope, another couple's 2 yo kept asking me for water/snacks/playing with her etc. I mentioned to same friend as above that this was frustrating to me bc her parents didn't step in and it was my turn to relax. She responded with "parents don't step in when their kids are with me, I think it's because they know they are safe and I love it and they don't need to". Again, you don't have a child, your whole life is a break. Shhhhhhhhh.
3 - DS was sitting on a counter with me directly in front of him. Friend (different one) goes "hmmm are we safe up there?!" Excuse me, I birthed him and cried hysterically and lost a lot of sleep over him needing to be in the NICU and stuff we've been dealing with since, I'm pretty sure I am 100% the most worried about him EVER.
So anyway. There was a rant. Your ILs annoy me even if they do have a child.
@DuchessOfCambridge I am totally with you on safe sleep and making sure there's no blanket or anything too big in the crib (we gave him a tiny lovey at just about a year old) until around 1.5.
My FFFC is that I fully plan on taking a nap while working from home today. The sleepies are too much.
Married 8/16/13
BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle
For the record, 3 has been my absolute favorite age. Y'all can f*ck off with your Just You Wait comments and shut up. Every kid is different.
@psychobutthead I don't think that's anything to confess, I think that's smart!
Pregnancy #2 Natural Miscarriage at 6 weeks 03/2014 Due date 11/9/2014
Pregnancy #3 DS 02.23.2015
Pregnancy #4 Missed Miscarriage at 11 weeks 11/2018 Due date 5/22/2019
Pregnancy #5 Positive test 12/11/2019 Due Date 8/17/2020
One of the first things I did after getting a positive pregnancy test with my son 2 years ago was to have a cigarette. It was actually the last cigarette i ever had. I still miss it, but not really (if that makes sense to anyone who as ever used tobacco.)
I will 100% admit that before having kids I was clueless about how much work parenting really is, and before having two kids, I was much more of a judgmental B about kids' naughty behavior/seeminngly bizarre parenting choices. My first kid was quite well-behaved and timid, and that's just personality, not really anything I did. My second is spunkier, but still pretty obedient. It will be interesting to see what new appreciation/respect #3 brings.
That said, I still definitely know some people who are terrible parents. I vividly remember being at a party at a friend's house before having kids, and DH and I repeatedly retrieving a toddler from crawling backwards out the back door and down the deck unsupervised, because the family had one of those landscaping ponds maybe 10ft from the back door. Her parents were clueless, oblivious, or both.
I'm not sure I've been pulling the pregnancy card or what, but for weeks now, I've been faking sleep when DD2 wakes up in the middle of the night. DH is a saint and doesn't even try to nudge me awake. So, in other words, while he's been getting up once or twice a night every night, I've been sleeping through.
I like to justify this because I KNOW it will be allll me in a few months. Also, we both know that I suck in the mornings when I get enough sleep, let alone too little.
DD1: June 2014 - VBM4lyfe
DD2: October 2016
DC3: coming May 2019
@psychobutthead I don’t plan on buying much of anything new either. We still have everything from DS, so we’ll just reuse it for this one. However, I won’t be able to resist buying personalized and monogrammed things for baby #2 because I’m from the South, and it’s what you do. I also have a feeling this one is a girl. Maybe bc I’ve been so bitchy, and I’m assuming it’s from possible extra estrogen. Kidding, kind of. 😂
@peachy13 That’s so annoying. I love my SIL to death, but she can be somewhat condescending because she has twins, and I just have the one. Granted I know twins are a whole different ballgame, but let me vent about a hard day every now and then too without being one upped with “just imagine if you had that times 2”. I get it, but it shouldn’t feel like a competition.
@liliumstargazer13 I’m that way about car seats too. The weight limit on rearfacing was my deciding factor on getting the extend2fit car seat. I think it goes to 45lbs if I remember correctly. He’s 2 and 30lbs, and if it were up to me, he’d be rear facing til college.
Examples (since I loved your list so much Duchess)...
1. A few weeks ago, the two of us were walking to her place from dinner and she saw a man carrying a baby in a baby carrier front-facing. She had to go on this long rant about how the baby's hips will be misaligned forever.
2. My daughter army crawled for months before finally learning to crawl. My sis would frequently comment about how my daughter would only use one leg to push herself and we might want to get it checked out.
3. One of my daughter's toes SLIGHTLY overlaps another, she said I need to tape it or she won't be able to wear normal shoes.
4. She is so judge-y about people using "containers" - e.g. swings, bouncers, jumperoos and what-have-you. You know, the things that help you actually put the baby down for a half a second to do something. Note she doesn't have kids but always claims when she does she will never use a "baby container"
It's no surprise that we've grown apart since I had my daughter, which is really sad to me but I just can't take her judgment.
1. I forward face often. Not for long periods of time but he loves looking out.
2. OMG just let her be a baby
3. She’s FINE
4. Every PT/OT I’ve talked to has said 20 min 3x/week is fine
Not to be overly dramatic, but I had a lot of anxiety at the beginning as a FTM (as I'm sure we all did) and I think her judgment actually made it much worse. I didn't do things that I now know would've made my life easier. Oh well. She's still my sister and I love her but dear lord is she hard to be around right now!