FFFC - 9/21

valentynsi

Flame away ladies!


P. S. I tried to add a gif but apparently I'm not smart enough to figure it out. 

valentynsi

My confession.... And I expect a lot of flaming for it.... 
I'm not really a fan of being pregnant right now. I lost 20 lbs before I got pregnant and that's just a fraction of what I needed to lose. So I feel fat. I feel like a beached whale whenever I'm laying down and try to get up. My back hurts pretty much all the time. My hips hurt about half the time. I keep getting these weird pains in my pelvis and I know that's normal but it doesn't mean I have to like it. I'm tired of eating all the time and drinking water all the time and peeing all the time. And I miss beer.

But I know the end result will make it all worth it. 

meggyme

@valentynsi no flames here. Pregnancy can be rough!

Morningstar80

@valentynsi I´m unable to post gifs either! Maybe someone will share their knowledge with us...

lelkcot

@valentynsi totally get it, especially the struggle with the weight gain and feeling fat. Just because we’re grateful to be growing these little loves, doesn’t mean you have to find the experience lovely.

my FFFC - I hate bodycon style dresses in pregnancy (on myself, I actually think other ladies look cute in them). It is just way too much sharing for me. Plus my butt gets bigger along with my tummy, so it’s jy a lot.

meggyme

To gif: find gif (I like to use the app GIPHY) copy the url for the image, and then paste it into the url box as shown, then hit GO.

mayoduck

@valentynsi no flames here. I don't love being pregnant either. I'm just in it for the baby who I can't wait to meet and hold. Maybe I will start to love the pregnancy when I can feel baby (almost 17 weeks and sometimes I think I feel it but it's more of a rolling pressure and nothing like the 'flutters' everyone talks about) but for now, I don't understand why some ladies miss being pregnant when it's over.

@lelcot I'm with you on bodycon dresses too. Not for me. But then because of my pear shaped body, even pre-pregnancy I've always gravitated toward fit and flare dresses.

bdesterhouse

I hate the pregnancy clothes style out right now. It’s all designed for toothpicks and are skin tight. 

Btw those who were following, my bibbers looked horrible. I was so disappointed. I looked like I was a beer chugging hillbilly guy going to a football game, not a cute Prego woman. 

My confession, vent, rant all in one: I don’t easily feel mom guilt. It takes a lot. I don’t feel guilty that I bottle fed after six weeks. I don’t feel guilty that I work a lot of hours. I didn’t feel guilty or feel my son was missing out on something in life by going to daycare. I don’t feel guilty that my mom has my son typically at least once a month over a weekend. In fact I think for my son, everything I did so far has made him a pretty great independent kid. He is 7 and requests to see his GG pretty much every weekend she is free. It’s the only time he typically sees her. There will be a day that he won’t want to spend his whole weekend with her and I want him to have great memories with her. His other grandmother has him every morning before school and everyday after school. We believe in it takes a village. I have had friends genuinely surprised that I would trust my son with his grandparents which is absurd to me. Why wouldn’t I? They raised my husband I. They aren’t strangers for goodness sakes. 

maggiemadeit

@bdesterhouse I couldn’t agree more about kids spending time with grandparents. My daughter loves her grandparents so much, and we are planning to move to the town where my in-laws live next year so that we can be closer to them. My daughter and my MIL have a very special bond, and I know it will be good for both of them to see each other daily instead of a couple times a month. 

kristimh80

@lelkcot I agree on the body con dresses! I can imagine myself preggo looking like one big blob in them. When I went maternity shopping last week, I was annoyed because only found 1 empire waisted dress. 

@valentynsi No judgement here! I feel fat majority of the time too looking like I just have a beer gut. Hopefully, when we get to the point where we "pop" and looking pregnant, we'll feel better image-wise. As for the pains, etc you feel...me too! I feel bad because I'm always complaining about something. 

valentynsi

@kristimh80 YES! ! My poor husband has to deal with me complaining so much. I feel so bad for him. And bless him, he does his best to make me feel better. But I want to be like you carry this baby around and not be able to sleep and have to pee all the time and see how pleasant you are!! 

dtspmama

I am with all of you who dislike being pregnant.  I don't just dislike it, I HATE it.  This pregnancy is tracking like my previous two:  nausea all day, heartburn so bad I often throw up all over myself in the middle of the night, sore joints, the worst. Thank GOD there's a baby at the end!

lovesclimbing

I feel you all! This pregnancy is so much harder than last one with so much pelvic pain. It is not pleasant.

As for me, I don't really care if people voted for Trump or Hillary or whoever. I have family and friends who voted for both sides, every one of them who thought their candidate was the lesser of two evils, not any great person. I still love them and care for them and it hasn't affected our relationship one bit. I think it's sad when people let politics ruin their relationships. 

zionsmama85

@valentynsi i feel the same way. I am definitely overweight, so i dont even feel pregnant right now...i am looking forward to getting bigger so at least i can feel the baby...but i have a lot of worry of gaining too much weight since i am limited to 11-20 pounds and i personally don't wanna go over 300 pounds (yikes just typing that hurts lol)....but i had a healthy overweight pregnancy with my first, so trying to maintain with this one, even though i weigh a bit more...i am just embracing it...and wearing maternity shirts...and letting ppl assume i am further along than i am...ha! 

HoneyBear40

@lovesclimbing yessss!! My sil KICKED HER MAID OF HONOR OUT OF HER WEDDING and they didn't talk for at least 3 years over a political disagreement. Now that they're talking again her best friend is just the greatest and it baffles me to no end...you kicked her out of your wedding? Have you each learned to not talk about politics or how does that work?

Mine: I don't understand co-sleeping. If it's a special circumstance like a hotel stay or camping then sure but every night? And how do you get pregnant with #2 when #1 is in your bed?

mayoduck

@lovesclimbing Yes! I completely agree! I have family and friends who voted both sides too and each has their reasons (which are generally much more complex than the 'other side' gives them credit for). I don't always agree with all of them politically but we don't let that divide us. We are family, we respect each other, and our differences allow us to learn and evolve as people.

My confession: While eventually I'd like one of each, I kind of hope this baby is a boy if only so family members won't buy cutsie pink, tutu, princess mermaid unicorn clothes, which is so not my style. The occasional tutu dress is cute for holidays but it's not practical every day wear. And any girl of mine is not a princess and I will not tell her she is one.

babycolima12

@mayoduck YES - I am SO not into pink or girly clothes or toys or princesses. Or even headbands or bows on babies. I don't wear pink myself. My husband and I disagree with the whole concept/messaging of most Disney princesses. We just found out we're having a girl and we want to raise her as a person, not as a girl in the old-fashioned or princess-y sense. We have tried to spread the message that we're not that into princesses or pink or anything, but I don't think we'll get very far with that. His sister has three girls - "princesses" - and she keeps joking about ours being one *eye roll* and my sister also has two girls and is super into girly stuff too. As much as I would love to be closer to family, one benefit of being military is that they won't know if we don't keep all the princess stuff they give us out!

valentynsi

@babycolima12 I absolutely agree.... My best friend was super excited when I got pregnant because she said she was going to do all the girly stuff if it was a girl. Thankfully we are having a boy! I totally dodged that bullet! 

maggiemadeit

@mayoduck @babycolima12 I am not very “girly”, almost never wear dresses or pink, and have raised my daughter to wear unisex kinds of clothes from the very beginning. At 2.5 she has completely rebelled on me and only likes pink and purple things, and picks out skirts and dresses whenever she can. I don’t know if it’s society creeping in or just her personality, but you never can predict how these things will turn out. 

mayoduck

@maggiemadeit Oh boy, that will almost certainly be my child too 

keikilove

@babycolima12 I agree with you about not forcing overly gender-specific stuff on girls. I used lots of yellow and green clothing on my first gorgeous girl. Everyone constantly commented on how beautiful she was and I would counter with how smart she was. She turned out to be a total geeky tomboy who discovered makeup & nail polish late in her teens. (She’s still gorgeous but values her brain more than her looks.) I raised my second baby girl the same way, and at 2.5 years old she screams for bows & headbands, sparkly shoes, and glittery princess dresses. She always wants to wear my makeup and do her nails. I truly believe from my own experience that it’s in their DNA what they will prefer. I’m happy to let them discover it instead of forcing it on them with pink & ruffles so early. 

Oh! And my confession is that I am not attracted to my husband while I’m pregnant. It happened last time even worse. I couldn’t stand his smell even when he was straight out of the shower, hated how he eats, the smell of his cologne makes me sick. Thank god it only lasts through yucky pregnancy! 

ashley14598

Ha I love so many of these confessions!! 

mill1020

@maggiemadeit, that’s kinda what happened with my daughter.  She is highly “girly” despite my best intentions to avoid tons of stereotyped toys, clothing, etc.  She’s been shoe-obsessed since she was, like, 18 months old.  I’m not complaining; I think she is an awesome kid no matter what she’s into, but it’s amazing how much they are truly their own person from a very young age.

mill1020

Ok, now for my confession.  All that being said (above, re: my daughter and stereotypes), I am a little bit afraid I’m going to very publicly ugly cry if this baby is a 5th boy.  

Tomorrow we’re going to an elective u/s place (my docs don’t offer me the blood testing like Panorama, etc, because I have a weird endocrine thing and it will come up as a false positive...long story).  

The “plan” is that I will be blindfolded during the parts where the baby’s sex is obvious (somehow I agreed to this) and the kids will find out from the tech and somehow keep it a secret from my husband and I, and there will be some sort of balloon-popping reveal when we get home.  And my daughter really REALLY wants all this to happen because it’s the last hurrah for us (last baby!  We swear!) AND she wants to record said reveal.  

So I basically haven’t told anyone about this outside of our immediate family, because I am half expecting to have to try to choke back some emotions that I’d rather not admit to having if it’s not a girl.  ***It’s going to be fine either way, I absolutely ADORE my boys and my girl, but I’d be lying if I said that I won’t need to take a deep breath to truly contemplate the realities of FIVE BOYS running around my house  (plus my husband; he is kind of like an extra-large child).***

Plus, I still feel like crap even though a few days ago I swore Diclegis was a wonder drug.

jdthorsi

I was told I need to see a high risk because I'm 30 and my BMI suggests I'm obese. I'm only 5ft tall and I weigh 158 right now at 17 weeks. I actually lost 6lbs from last appt. If you see me I am clearly not obese, just overweight but, hello Dr. I'm pregnant!!! She's a brand new Dr so I gave her a chance. As an RN, I was taught to look at the patient not the monitors. Apparently doctors don't learn that. She looked at a chart and said I'm obese. According to her chart I should be 112lbs. I would look like a skeleton! I was feeling fat and that did not make it better! 
Rant over!

ashley14598

@jdthorsi that is very frustrating! I’m so sorry you are dealing with that honestly depending on how close you are with your doctor maybe you should look into finding a new practice? I’m 5’5 around 170-180 without being pregnant when I start working out hard and “pay attention” I can get it down to around 160 but I don’t think the average person would deem me “obese” or overly overweight even though my BMI sometimes suggests if according to the charts. My midwife has never once mentioned my weight. I even suffered with high blood pressure and gestational diabetes (despite no diabetes running in my family) in my last pregnancy. She never one time has ever mentioned my weight as an issue. All she ever said was “hey skinny Minnie!” After I had the baby at my 6 week check up. She’s a midwife but she works in a small office with two OBs she was okay with keeping me despite my high risk pregnancy and referred to them when she needed to. I’m so sorry you are dealing with that no doctor should make you feel bad especially when you are pregnant. 

maggiemadeit

@jdthorsi I absolutely hate doctors like this. She read your chart, put your height and weight into the calculator, then did exactly what the doctor manual says she should do. A computer could do that, (actually a computer probably did do that and she just read it). I think some doctors just can’t see beyond the numbers and recommendations to the person sitting in front of them. Which is especially problematic when you are there for a completely normal and natural event (pregnancy) and not there for a differential diagnosis. 

I’m really sorry she made you feel bad. Can you find someone else? If she is like this now, she will be one of those who pushes you to a c section when you labor a minute longer than the doctor book says. I have had great experiences with nurse midwife care in both of my pregnancies. This is a total generalization based on the maybe10 midwifes I have encountered, but they seem to have a different approach, and really see patients as people, take the time to really talk, and are just generally really caring and lovely. 

catlady2015

@jdthorsi - I agree, find someone else! I’m 5’1” and definitely built like a fire hydrant (165 pre-pregnancy, short and squat). My ob took into account my workout regimen (primarily weightlifting) and while I know I’m overweight, she’s not just focused on the scale and gave me a slightly more realistic gain range of 15-25 lbs. if she’s not taking you more personally into account now, will she later? I’d shop around now while it’s still early. Good luck!

kristimh80

@jdthorsi I agree with everything everyone has said...def look for another doctor! I'm 5'5 and once when I got down to 125, I looked anorexic also because my body type isn't meant to be like that either. During pregnancy, the last thing we should be worried about is weight. I mean we don't wanna go crazy and get GD, but also this is a time to be happy and not have that stress on us.

lindseyb918

Gaah I'm totally the opposite of a lot of these. I love bodycon during pregnancy. Regular maternity clothes make me feel like I'm wearing a tent. I want people to be able to tell I'm pregnant and not just top heavy. 

My FFFC - I don't think newborns are cute. Sweet and snuggly? Yes. But not asthetically pleasing lol. I also don't understand when people say the baby "has mom/dad's nose". All newborn noses look the same to me. 

babya422

@lindseyb918 I totally agree with you about the baby noses! And bodycon dresses. 

Mine for the week. I love to eat Kraft Mac and Cheese by the spoonful and I’m using pregnancy cravings as my excuse to eat it...although I’m not actually craving it. 

3rdtime_charmed

I could not zip my uniform pants today at all. I just put my bellyband on over the top and prayed all day they would stay up and my underwear wouldn’t show. I was therefore not able to wear my uniform properly because I couldn’t tuck in my shirt.  I didn’t really have much choice, but I also was so tired and not wanting to go to training, that I honestly didn’t care.

jdthorsi

It's a practice with about 7 doctors and 2 midwifes, all of which I love and was there throughout my first pregnancy. Any could be the one to deliver so I figured I would meet her at least once and get a feel for how she is. Obviously I didn't care too much for her. I won't be seeing her again throughout my pregnancy and just pray she's not the one who comes to deliver! I am 100% against a c-section unless it was absolutely necessary. I'm and RN so I do know my limits and exactly what I would do in most situations. Thanks ladies for all the kind words and support!

chocolatelemons

@mayoduck are you a ftm? Just asking because I also never felt “flutters” and what you’ve described (rolling pressure) is exactly what fetal movement felt like early on for me. 

mayoduck

@chocolatelemons I am a FTM! So everything I'm trying to feel is based on hearsay and it seems everyone, doctors included, say it should feel like 'flutters'. I've been feeling periods of rolling pressure for weeks now (at 17 weeks today) usually in the evenings. I'm certain it's not gas or not like any gas I have felt before and to be honest, I've always thought it could be baby since I started feeling it but it just doesn't line up with all other descriptions I've heard so I figured I'm mistaken.

purpleteacher82

@chocolatelemons @mayoduck I have been feeling something that feels a bit like what you both describe. Mine feels like a stretching or pulling in one specific spot. I’m only 14 weeks, but it doesn’t feel like gas to me either! 

bdesterhouse

My movements have felt like the rolling pressure you described. This is my fourth pregnancy to make it to 16 weeks. I don’t remember ever feeling butterflies. So I don’t think you’re wrong. I think everyone experiences it differently.

mayoduck

So good to hear! Thank you for sharing your experiences! @bdesterhouse @chocolatelemons

scimomma

I had no idea what FFFC meant until some googling, but these confessions are great ha. I guess mine would be that I'm planning a small (~ 60 people) wedding/baby shower celebration for December and I'm pretty pissed that I can't drink. I don't think I've had a party where I had to be the center of attention since my twelfth birthday and I would love to use alcohol to help me cope with the anxiety but that ain't happening. I want to provide alcohol to everyone else because I want everyone to have a good time, but I'm not going to lie.. I'm a little bitter about not being able to join in on a champagne toast or enjoy any of the good beer or wine that I'm sure we'll be providing. Not that I want to be a drunk bride, either. I've seen a few of those and maybe it's for the best that I can't drink! 

lovesclimbing

My first movements with D (none yet for sure with this baby) were definitely more the "rolling" and not "flutters" or "bubbles rising" like people always say. It felt slightly tingly and like something was in there slowly stretching out their arms and legs and moving around. When I described it to my midwife, she's the one who called it "rolling." It felt like flutters and bubbles later on!

keikilove

@mayoduck The feeling I’m having now is rolling pressure, and I’m positive it’s baby moving because I can literally feel a little ball and then she rolls away from my hand. This morning I felt a distinct sharp something, like a first kick or jab. I’m only 13 weeks so this sounds ridiculous but it’s unmistakeable. This is the earliest I’ve ever felt movement (3rd pregnancy). You could definitely be feeling baby rolling around. 
Later it will feel like flutters, or that feeling when your stomach drops slightly when you hit a dip in the road. (Just my experience.)