August 2018 Moms

MOTN 8/28

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Re: MOTN 8/28

  • @7425cait That is funny how similar our situations are.  I definitely don't miss the days of DS crying seven times a night and having to get up just to find the pacifier and stick it in his mouth.  So far, it takes a lot of encouragement to get DD to even suck on the pacifier, and then she spits it out after a minute or two.  So I don't think she likes it yet, and we may not even use it in the end.

    Not cool about the spontaneous visitors.  I'm not a fan of drop in visits anyway, but now that I have kids, its really not okay.  I'd be really mad if I were you.

    Last night,, I pumped as soon as DS was down, then went to bed and left DH to get DD to sleep.  I was not pleased when he came in 90 minutes later and told me she needed me.  But she actually ate pretty fast, and went to sleep pretty fast, and then slept for 3.5 hours!  So I got to sleep for 3.5 hours!  And again she was pretty fast and then she gave us 2 hours of sleep.  And then DH just got up with her, and I got 2 more hours.  So I'm feeling pretty pleased this morning.
  • This kid WILL NOT let me transfer him to the bassinet at night.  During the day I can usually get him in the lounge pillow for a few hours.  At night the second I move him and approach my bed he starts to scream bloody murder.

    I haven't slept for even two seconds in my own bed in almost a week.  I've been sleeping in the recliner with him on top of me, which is not only unsafe, but because I know it is unsafe, I sleep like shit and wake up every time he moves to make sure he isn't suffocating himself.  So basically I haven't slept in almost a week.

    Also my in laws are here and yet I was completely alone with the baby all day today.  Apparently it takes 3 adults to care for my two older children, meanwhile I'm supposed to be resting and healing and I can't even put the baby down long enough to go to the bathroom or make some food without him screaming the whole time because there is no one to help me out and hold him for like 5 minutes.  It is ridiculous.  While the older two napped DH and FIL did yard work and washed our cars instead of one of them, I dont know, offering to hold the baby so I can eat fucking lunch or take a nap.  During the brief time he let me put him down I somehow managed to do two loads of laundry, shower, spend some time with DD2, and make banana bread.  Hopefully when the girls are at school tomorrow i get more help than this.
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  • @delujm0 That sounds awful, I'm sorry. My in-laws are in town and are more about the household help (yard work, dishes, etc) rather than holding the baby, so I've been specifically asking them "please hold the baby so I can take a quick shower/eat/etc"... Or I've been telling my husband to ask them lol. With my toddler I didn't have the guts to ask for what I needed, but now I'm a little more desperate for help now that I have 2 kids. I'm looking forward to preschool this week so I at least have a little less craziness going on in this house. 

    So i got diagnosed with mastitis and thrush and got put on antibiotics ugh... Did I mention breastfeeding is hard?!

    I've been keeping up with ya'lls posts but am too sleep deprived to reply to each if you. But sending some virtual support to everyone going through this newborn phase!! It's amazing but so tough.
  • @fishee333 ugh mastitis is the worst, I've had it 4 times between the other 2 kids.  The antibiotics help quickly fortunately.  When I'm breastfeeding as soon as I start to feel feverish I call my OB now because the faster you get the drugs the less horrible it is.
  • @delujm0 Oh, god, that sounds awful.  Yeah, your husband needs to really step up and help out.  Why on Earth would washing the cars be anywhere near the top of the list?

    I hope tomorrow goes better.  Do you have a swing or rock-n-play you could use for a nap?  Good luck!

    @fishee333 Mastitis and thrush?  That's my big nightmare.  I hope the meds kick in soon.

    AFM, the last couple of nights have gone much better.  DD seems to have remembered how to eat and sleep, so I'm getting much more sleep than before.  I have been trying to make her wait 2 hours and have had some luck just distracting her.  I've also caved and fed her enough times that I have no idea if it's really helping.

    I have been postponing my own food enough that I'm sensing a pattern.  I get super grumpy when I need to eat, so I've got to start eating more often.

    DS had been so good with the new baby, but he's starting to struggle.  It's pretty rare that he does or says anything directly opposed to her, but since DH went back to work, he's been reluctant to go to daycare or even leave the house.  He's throwing a lot more fits when he doesn't instantly get his way.  I'm hoping this is just part of the adjustment process, but I can't figure out how to make it better.   He's honestly acting like he hasn't had enough sleep, but I don't think he's waking up when the baby cries.  So I just don't know.
  • @delujm0 I'm so sorry. My DD was like that, and it made me feel so claustrophobic and tethered to her. This doesn't help get your own space, but maybe wearing him in a baby carrier will at least provide you with two hands to do what you need to do. 

    @fishee333 ouch! That sounds awful. I hope you heal quickly!

    @Secretstapler woo! More sleep always deserves a celebration. One day my kids are going to want to sleep till noon, and I'm gonna let them. 

    DS has been giving us a couple good stretches overnight, but for some reason goes through a farty, gassy, poop phase where he grunts and carries on for like 30 min at 3 or 6 am. I don't know how to help him through it other than to let him carry on and get it out. 

    I started pumping once a day after his first feeding to start a stock pile for when I need/want to get out of the house. I can't sit with a baby attached to me all day. I feel so unaccomplished and useless if I don't get some cooking or cleaning or errands done. I started to have a minor breakdown yesterday, so DH took both kids out of the house for an hour and I gave myself a pedicure, made ice coffee for the next few days, and washed pump parts. He is so good at knowing when I need me time. Today he told me to feed Bennett and then take the time in between to just get out of the house for a little. So I'm taking him up on it. I hate pumping, but it really does give me the freedom I need to get away for a bit. 
  • @7425cait DD2 went through an overnight gassy/poop phase.  I tried everything but unfortunately the only thing that worked was time.  By about 2 months old she figured it out and stopped pooping overnight for the most part.  It sucked though hearing her grunting knowing I was about to be awake again.

    This baby likes to wake up, get changed, fall back asleep while nursing, and THEN poop so we have to start all over again.  Sigh.  Tonight I'm not fucking around, I'm going to honestly try to get him in the bassinet.  He gave me two 3+ hour stretches last night but I was trapped underneath him and it sucked.
  • @7425cait haha yes I will totally let my kids sleep til noon ! Can't wait! :)

    My little guys sleep has been getting worse, not better overnight! Ugh. He's down to one hour stretches at a time. He was also doing that all day without a good solid nap. I think he's having poop and gas issues too, when he wakes up it's because he's grunting and moving around, and then usually farts and then calms down lol. I just hope he's not having issues with something I'm eating because I really don't want to change my diet. 
  • @delujm0 Ugh! Not to mention the claustrophobia of being trapped with an infant, but the people who are theoretically there to help you...aren't really helping you in any meaningful way. I can't imagine anything more exasperating, honestly. I hope they get their act together soon, if not, use your dragon voice. :)

    Which is why I freely give my husband shit when he growls at me for making him get up at 2am to feed Wren. I've been up since 5am with her, all day, every day, by myself, without time for real food or a shower, so he can handle a couple of feedings before he goes to work while I sleep a bit. heh

    @fishee333 That doesn't sound fun at all. I hope you get back to feeling well soon!

    As for me, my milk production has suddenly gone down to not enough to keep up and we're going to have to start on formula tonight. I feel awful. 

    I'm honestly wondering if the PCOS has somehow messed up my milk hormone levels or affected my breast tissue. I was a DDD before I got pregnant and I was a DDD throughout my entire pregnancy, so I'm wondering if I don't have enough tissue to make enough milk. I've not pumped anywhere close to what I've read should be "normal" output. I'm pumping every 2-4 hours when I can, often longer overnight because I need sleep...but still, the amounts just keep going down. I've got some supplements coming in the mail, since I live in BFE and nothing of that sort is available locally. After this is all said and done with I'm seriously considering getting a breast reduction surgery before we move across the country and lose our health insurance, because if these bastards aren't going to work as intended, I'm tired of suffering them. 

    My bitch of a mother keeps telling me about her picture perfect everything and how I'm doing everything wrong, and how I should bring her over for her to care for. Which is so, so helpful. I think if she tells me one more time about how much milk she produced when she had me, that she had to pour it down the drain, I'm going to go off. She's already been laying guilt trips on me because I refuse to drive her here, there, and everywhere when she wants. Can't. Wait. To. Move. Away. Forever.

    On the plus side I think we're slowly making progress on the screaming gas front, certain position changes help her pass it and I've been adding fennel tea to her bottles. The screaming is very low key and very brief now as the toots come out much easier. So we've been managing about 3 peaceful hours between feedings and she's been sleeping a lot better at night. But I'll honestly be glad when it's over with entirely. It breaks my heart that I can't help any more than I'm already doing. 
  • I keep forgetting how much these little guys change and how their schedules shift so frequently at this age. At the end of last week DS was starving every two hours, eating a ton, and was a little difficult to put down. This week he is not eating as much and sleeping a bit more. I wonder if he already had a growth spurt. I remember DD doing the same thing during them. Phase one was extreme hunger and crankiness, phase two was less hungry and tons of sleep. All that is to say, @fishee333 maybe that's what your guy is going through? Fingers crossed?

    @neeraja_k I don't want to down play your struggle at all, but this may be a blessing in disguise for you. The formula will take away the stress of pumping for you and allow you to have someone else feed her when you need the break. If you still want to offer breast milk, you can always pump once or twice a day to mix with the formula.

    @delujm0 He's still too little for my liking, but part of me wants to move him into his own room just so I don't have to be woken up by the grunts all night. I slept so much better once DD moved to her own room at 4 months. We'll probably move him sooner than that since I'm not as nervous this time around.

    Also, can we talk about weird shit MILs do? Mine has this thing where she allows/wants the kids to suck on her chin. WTAF? Like when they are on your shoulder and start to peck around, she will turn in towards them and offer her chin. I don't want my kid's mouth on your dirty ass chin.
  • @7425cait we moved DD2 to the nursery at 8 weeks and it was awesome.  Not sure how long this guy will make it in our room because he would have to start sleeping somewhere other than on top of me for me to analyze that.  Sigh.  Also the chin thing is disgusting.  Wouldn't that give her a chin hickey?  

    We were back at birth weight at our 5 day appointment today so that's good.  Also he was awake and alert for about an hour after each of his longer naps so that was fun.  I just need to get him sleeping off of me and I'll be in business I think.  
  • As I've been sitting here talking about how nicely B has been sleeping for us, karma came and bit me in the ass. He was up about 5 times last night. And the grunting was all night long. I had broccoli soup for dinner, so I'm hoping that was why. 
  • @fishee333 I had to give up milk and dairy for 4 months with DS, and I'm really worried I'm going to have to do it again.  I keep trying to tell myself that it's a really minor thing to do to keep her healthy and comfortable, but I kind of feel like I'm making enough sacrifices lately, what with the 9 months of pregnancy and year plus of breastfeeding.  How about someone else cut out their favorite food group this time?

    @neeraja_k I was just thinking that in all of the reading I've done on breastfeeding, no one ever talks about breast size.  I have the opposite problem, when not breastfeeding, I have trouble filling up an A cup.  I feel like this should be discussed more, because there have to be different problems for different sizes.

    I am glad you're getting three hour stretches!  I feel like that's huge, when you can start to predict what's going to happen and plan around it.

    @7425cait Yes, let's talk MILs!  I was just thinking today that everything my MIL does is driving me crazy since the baby was born.  I can only assume it's hormones, since i can't point to anything in particular, though.  Except I had to explain to her this weekend that babies have to sleep on their backs now, not their tummies.  That wouldn't be a big deal, except DD is her 6th grandchild.  How does she not know that yet?  I have an appointment in a couple of weeks that I'm going to have to  leave DD to go to, and it's looking like MIL is my only option.  Rationally, I have no reason to think she can't give a bottle and change a diaper in the couple of hours that I'm gone, and I have no reason to think she wouldn't follow specific instructions like sleeping on her back, but it still makes me really nervous.  Is there some kind of standard hate-your-MIL post-partum reaction?  Or is it just me?

    @delujm0 Yay, birth weight!  

    We've been turning a fan on high facing the wall for some white noise.  Thinking about it, it might be helping DD sleep, but I absolutely did it to drown out the sleeping baby grunts.  It seems to help, whatever the reason.

    I was so pleased to get two 3 hour stretches of sleep last night, until I realized one whole side of my right breast is swollen and super tender.  So now I'm putting hot pads on it and pumping to try to get the clog(s) out.  So far, I feel fine otherwise, but I really really don't want to get mastitis.  I'm also trying to figure out how to avoid future clogs, since all this pumping is only going to increase my supply and make them more likely.
  • @Secretstapler are you using lechitin supplements?  It's supposed to prevent clogs...I buy sunflower lechitin off of amazon, it's pretty cheap.  You can take up to 4 a day but I start off with 1 a day now.  If I start getting clogs I'll up it.  I started it after getting mastitis with DD1 and always use it when breastfeeding now.
  • @neeraja_k apparently there is a correlation between PCOS and insufficient glandular tissue, which is the main biological reason some women can’t produce enough milk assuming everything else is right (no ties, retained placenta, etc) And apparently breast size isn’t related, but breast shape is. Apparently women with IGT often have breasts that are more tube shaped as opposed to round.

    +1 on the sunflower lecithin. I’ve been taking it since my milk came in and haven’t had a hint of a clog. I had mastitis twice with my first and had clogs, blebs, etc when I failed to take it.
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  • SecretstaplerSecretstapler member
    edited September 2018
    @delujm0 I was just reading about that!  I'm glad to hear of someone else using it.  I like your plan of starting low and going up as needed.  4 a day seems high.  I think my task for the day will be hunting some lecithin down in town.  

    ETA: Found it!  Here's hoping it helps.
  • @delujm0 What happens if you put him down to sleep and let him have a good cry about it? Does he ever settle eventually, or does it just keep going on for hours? I just can't even imagine. :(

    @lalala2004 I don't think I have tubular shaped breasts, they've always been rather round and heavy. I was mostly just mentioning my size because I expected them to grow during my pregnancy and they didn't at all. Which is what made me wonder about the glandular tissue after researching PCOS and breastfeeding correlations. Even when shopping for a nursing bra, when I was measured a couple of weeks before my due date, I was the exact same size as my pre-pregnancy size. Which on one hand I was thankful for, but now, not so much. heh

    @Secretstapler We've also been using a fan in our bedroom pointed at the ceiling for white noise, it seems to soothe her somehow, and it also keeps the distracting noises from her to a minimum, while also allowing us to whisper in bed and not wake her up. Although normally a hot natured person, ever since my milk did come in the night sweats and the cold chills while sleeping with the fan have been rather a bother. My husband doesn't know what to do with me glued to him all night for warmth, when for years it's been the other way around. lol

    @7425cait Yeah, I've thought about it as a blessing. On one hand I would honestly be relieved, but on the other hand you have that insidious voice in the back of your head telling you you're a failure, even though you're not, the voice knows how to hurt the most. From all I've read and heard, breastfeeding when things go right is work and when things go awry it's stress on top of work. And the last thing I really want right now is more angst and stress about it. So we'll see. I did have to start mixing some formula and breast milk today just to get her full feeding amounts. I'm mostly hoping it doesn't start us back at square one with the screaming gas attacks, as I really do think that we'd started to get a handle on them. 

    I ordered some brewers yeast and plan on making these lactation cookies tonight. If nothing else, they look absolutely delicious. And since my sugars have been ridiculously normal since she hatched, they'll go great with a cup of tea for breakfast since plain oatmeal and flax seed is getting rather boring. If these and the fenugreek doesn't help, I'll ask my doctor about a prescription for Reglan. Want to trade excess androgens for prolactin. Hmph.
  • These middle of the night poops are new to me. My daughter never pooped at night. She was mostly formula fed though and only pooped 1-2x per day. This baby poops all the time, especially at night!

    Breastfeeding is working well this time (my daughter needed formula from week 1 because weight loss). I'm sad I won't be able to keep it up when I return to work soon. My body doesn't respond to pumping well so that's not a viable option. 

    Hope you all are getting some sleep tonight. 
  • We barely slept last night, which I think kicked my am-i-getting-a-cold over into I-definitely-have-a-cold.  And I think DD has it, too.  Nothing too bad yet, but she's extra fussy and having a hard time sleeping.  I'm trying not to feel guilty about taking her out and about too much so early, since I'm pretty sure DH the high school teacher just brought it home from school.  He had a cold earlier this week.  So now I'm googling cold remedies for newborns and planning how I can go to bed as early as possible tonight and let DH do bedtime.

    In related news, I figured out how to get a Spectra pump from insurance, and it came in the mail today!  I've been using my Medela from DS, but I don't love it, so I'm really hoping I like the Spectra.  They only had the S2, but I'm pretty sure I can live without the battery.  It was such a pain and so confusing to figure out how to get it through insurance, I'm still a little worried that they will come back later and make me pay for it.  I really hope not, the supplier charged more than twice as much as retail.

    @hopeful91 I'm glad breastfeeding is going better this time!  If pumping doesn't work out, I wonder if you could just nurse when you're there and give formula when you're not?  With DS, I was able to stop pumping at work and keep doing bedtime and morning feeds for a few months until we weaned.  But, that was at 1 year old, so I don't know how much difference that makes, compared to a really young baby.

    And yeah, there's a lot of poop in the beginning.  DD is 4 weeks, and the last few days have been down to about 1 poop a day, which is nice.
  • My oldest has a cold so I'm just waiting to catch it. Then the baby will get it too :( that makes me nervous. 

    I would like to keep breastfeeding at evening/morning/night if possible when I return to work but not sure if supply will decrease too much.

    I'm feeling so tired from night wake ups. My daughter stopped night feedings at 2 months but this baby is smaller and I feel like we have a lot longer to go. 
  • Well I'm on my second round of mastitis along with my 2nd round of antibiotics. I tried to fight off taking antibiotics by doing some weird home remedies, but nothing worked and I was getting sicker fast. Starting to feel better now after 36 hours on antibiotics, but my right boob is still sore. I dont feel any plugged ducts but I wonder if something still is, just maybe very deep? IDK. I'll keep massaging just in case but it hurts to massage!! Ahh

    I think if I get mastitis 1 more time I'll have to give up on breastfeeding. Having me out of commission is just horrible for the whole family. 

    I'm dreading cold season coming up and having2 sick kids!!



  • @fishee333 I had mastitis 3 times in 3 months with DD1 and I only felt a clog first one time.  Generally by the time I realized something was wrong I already had a fever.  By the third round as soon as I started to suspect I had a fever I called the doctor to have her call in the drugs...the faster you get on the drugs the faster it is over.

    At that point DD1 was 9 months old and I had moved to a mostly EP schedule aside from nursing her before bed because I had a ton frozen and I wanted to start pump weaning at work.  DH wanted me to give up but honestly once I stopped pumping entirely and was down to only nursing in the evenings daily I was fine.  I blame the pump, so i got a full hospital grade medela symphony with DD2.  I only had it once with her, around 6 weeks, because I was trying so hard to avoid oversupply again that I wound up not pumping enough basically.  It sucks but it will blow over.

    Are you taking lechitin?  I'd suggest getting a giant tub of sunflower lechitin from amazon and taking a pill 3 times a day.  It seemed to really help me avoid issues.  I started taking it this time as soon as DS was born and am hoping I can avoid mastitis entirely this go round.
  • @delujm0 Thanks for your input and advice. You know, I got a giant tub of lechitin but haven't taken it. I believe it works because I took it religiously with DD1 because I got clogged ducts all the time with her, just not ever mastitis (and I stopped getting plugged ducts after taking it). I don't have a good excuse for not taking it other than being sleep deprived and forgetful. I will make it a priority to take it though starting today! 
  • @fishee333. Oh, that sucks!!!  I really hope you feel better soon and then lecithin helps.  I just started taking it myself, and it seems to be helping.  I had a couple of plugged ducts last week, but they seem to have cleared up without getting worse.  I don't usually feel a lump or anything, just part of my boobs gets super tender.  And then I spend all that time massaging it, so it's hard to tell if it's still plugged or just bruised from the massage.

    On a totally un-baby-related note: DH and I were in the kitchen tonight, taking care of those final things before going to bed.  I thought I heard a knock on the door, but decided I was hearing things since it was nearly 10.  But then I heard it again!  So DH and I went to the door together to answer it.  I was guessing it was a neighbor with some kind of emergency.  But there was just a stranger there, so I thought it was probably a different kind of emergency.  But then he starts talking... And says he's sorry about the time, but he and his girlfriend are really good at pulling weeds...  So I very quickly interrupt him and tell him we're not going to talk to anyone who knocks on our door at 10 o'clock at night, and close the door in his face.  WTF???  Who does that?????  I will fully admit that our yard needs weeding, aa we've neglected it all summer, and especially the last month, since we've just had other priorities.  That is still absolutely no excuse for knocking on someone's door at 10 pm.  Okay, rant over.  I was just so pissed.
  • @Secretstapler Thanks! Right, it's hard to tell if my boob hurts from the plug or from massaging it. 
    That's really weird about the knock on the door! I'd be more scared than pissed; if that happened to me, chances would be that the person was up to no good. My neighborhood is somewhat safe but there's also a decent amount of druggies, homeless, and just not good people since I live in a major city. I wouldn't have answered the door at all but just yelled go away lol... if that person was legit, they should have just left a note.
  • Only one breast (the one I favor) gets really hard in the middle of the night. How does the infection usually start for you all?
  • @hopeful91 I've managed to avoid infection so far with this baby, but last time it always started with a clogged duct. I could tell i had one because it would feel like I had a serious bruise in one part of my breast, and that spot wouldn't soften after feeding.  Sometimes I'd also get a red spot where the clog was.  I think if it's your whole breast that's hard, and it softens after feeding, then you're fine and it's just engorgement.  That engorgement might make you more likely to get a clogged duct, though.

    My LO seems to have forgotten how to eat tonight.  She also went like 4.5 hours without eating, sleeping most of it, and does not seem especially hungry.  I'm pretty perplexed.  She's not upset at all, just awake and chilling.  I'm going to keep trying to feed her for a few more minutes, then switch to trying to get to sleep.
  • @hopeful91 It starts with just a clogged duct, then I feel more tired than usual, I get a headache, fever, chills and achiness, kind of in that order. And then my boob hurts like it's never hurt before.

    @Secretstapler weird. Well I hope.you get some sleep 

    As for us, DS gave me a glorious 4 hour stretch of sleep tonight, but then was awake for 2 hours. I finally got him back to sleep, and now I'm wide awake. 


  • I know he is only 2 weeks old but at what point will this kid let me put him down during the day without screaming about it?  He can be in a deep sleep but as soon as I put him in the RNP, where he sleeps at night no problem, he wakes up and screams until I pick him up again. I couldn't even compete a single load of laundry today, and he just screamed for the full time I made my lunch and showered.  And if my husband tells me one more time that I'll miss this some day, I will punch him in the face.  The only break I got was 20 minutes when I was putting DD2 to sleep, and she is sick, so that was just 20 minutes of her screaming at me instead of the baby.  As soon as I was done DH gave me back the screaming baby because DD1 was having a tantrum and apparently he can't listen to 2 of his kids crying at the same time for 30 minutes in one day.  Meanwhile I am either trapped underneath or listening to a kid cry for every second that I am awake right now.

    I hate to say it but I'm already looking forward to going back to work just for the child free commute time every day.
  • This baby is a decent sleeper recently  (as soon as a post this I'll jinx it)- she has slept 6-7 hour stretches the past couple nights. That being said, she is still up and it is almost 11. She's also having terrible reflux that chokes her. I'm constantly paranoid, so I'm up most of the night worrying and watching her. 

    My first daughter would not let me put her down, and I held her for naps the first three months. It was manageable with her being my first though...

    sorry i cant tag people. It's too much effort while holding the baby in my arms for feedings and the thirty minutes after feeding upright hold that the doctors claim helps reflux even though I have not seen improvement by doing it, just lost sleep. 
  • @hopeful91 DD1 had GERD and wound up on zantac for her reflux until she was 9 months old.  Have you had your baby screened for that?  The meds didn't completely eliminate the spitting up but they made a big difference in how much it was happening, and in her comfort.  She wouldn't sleep flat on her back until she was on the zantac because the reflux was so painful.
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