This may not be really a question, except for an "Anyone else?"
But for some reason now I have this fear that I won't know if I need to go to the doctor or hospital if something is happening early. I'm notorious for being like "I'm fine. I'll just wait it out," and never take medicine or call a doctor.
I think the doctor just freaked me out yesterday by saying if I feel leaky to call, but now I'm afraid I can't distinguish leaky and just the typical discharge. Or between the feeling of needing to poop and a contraction.
I'm sure I will in the moment, but now just questioning everything. Getting closer to the end is getting nerve wracking!
ETA: I’ve read all the stuff and been through the class, so I know what they say it’ll be like. But just questioning everything in the moment.
@hannaht8516 don't get into your head! Pretty sure you'll notice - and just watch for things that continue and don't go away/get better. For instance, I had a day or two of cramps, but then they were gone with rest and water. If they don't go away with rest, certainly call. Just in case, here's the helpful list from our hospital class book:
@hannaht8516 trust me, you’ll know. I was worried about this last time. I remember having a convo with another FTM due around the same time and we were talking about our “high pain tolerances” and wondering if it would be clear. It was. Oh and, I no longer think I have a high pain tolerance...
@hannaht8516 I have the same concern!! I always put off odd pains and chalk it up to being "normal" symptoms.. BUT one of our Drs. Told me if anything causes me to be doubled over in pain or its toe curling call and probably come in so that's what I'm mostly on lookout for. I can handle most pangs and such so I guess I'll try to pay attention to repetition or worsening pain?? Definitely hoping I'll notice the difference between leaking and extra discharge.
I second @cdepperschmidt that when it's really go time, you will be unable to time your own contractions or carry on a conversation . I would say too, call the nurses line. For everything. They are there for you! I even had them swab once to see if i was leaking fluid (i wasn't) but there was no harm in having them check. If it's before 37 weeks, i would also call for braxton hicks that won't go away or become painful. Basically, just put L&D on speed dial.
I'm a FTM and this was one of my questions too! Our class instructor said we will most definitely know when we are in real labor. If the contractions don't subside after movement or water and if the pain in the lower back is accompanying the contractions. She said to stay home during early labour stages as it is more comfortable and less stressful. It should help labour progress more naturally and easier. She said to come in when the 5-1-1 rule apply. Contractions 5 mins apart and 1 min long and for at least an hour. Unless your water breaks or you are in so much pain you can't handle it at home.
Me 33 DH 41 TTC since 2016 Due: October 12, 2018 Location: Ontario, Canada
@hannaht8516 Trust me. You’ll know. The way we can tell if someone is going to be sent home before we even check them is when we ask “What brings you in today” and they answer “I think I’m in labour”. If you aren’t sure, it isn’t labour. True contractions take your breath away, and the world around you stops. You can only focus on that contraction, can’t talk, and can’t really listen to what others are saying. They can happen across the front of your belly, or across your low back (depends on which way baby’s face is looking. Looking at your front = back pain, looking at your back = belly pain).
For waters breaking. If you have extra discharge and you aren’t sure, your waters look just like the name says - water. It isn’t mucousy, it isn’t sticky or stringy. It’s straight liquid. It’s usually clear, but can also be “straw” coloured, if it is brown or green that’s a sign baby has passed meconium and is a sign of stress.
If you think your waters have broken (sometimes it’s just pee) put on a panty liner and wait an hour. If it’s gets damp keep it on and head to L&D, they can swab it to test for amniotic fluid. If it get saturated, don’t bother waiting the hour just go in.
@hannaht8516 I am the same way. Right now my anxiety attacks flair up when my symptoms get hard to handle because I worry it's a sign of labor. I've been having pelvic pressure and low back pain the past two days, but not clear contractions. Pretty sure I had some BH yesterday because I was able to lay down and take a nap and they were better.
I went in during early labor because I was leaky and the nurse took one look at me and said go home, you're smiling and laughing and having conversations, you're not going to be smiling when it's the real deal. Sure enough I came back 5 hours later after a massive gush of water breaking and contractions with only a minute or so in between. I was not smiling, I was screaming for an epidural.
+1 for feeling like I won't know if something is wrong and this is baby #5. So the reason I'm doubting myself now is because a couple weeks ago, I was in so much pain that I was literally in tears. I had my 3 yr old call my husband to come home it was so bad. I called the midwife on call and she dismissed me. So now when I feel like something is wrong I debate on whether I'm overreacting or not and don't bother calling. She's new to the practice and I have met her once in clinic as well. I honestly hope she's not on duty when I go into labor
@sammierose464 yep, so far I haven't had any noticeable contractions. So far it's either been gas, needing to poop, or kid was just down really low and once she moved a little it relieved it. But causes a little panic in the moment. When it's for real, I don't want to just think "oh it's just bad gas!", but surely I'll know.
@ummibtihaj that sucks. I hope she isn’t on either. Real pain should be addressed. That’s the reason I went in yesterday. I was having abdominal pain, that turned into contractions I was having to breathe through. Preterm labour shouldn’t be taken lightly.
I actually was happy I went to the hospital on the early side. I leaked fluid in the middle of the night, and then it happened again in the morning. I also started feeling cramping that felt like menstrual cramps, but they were tolerable for sure. They swabbed me multiple times and said it wasn't amniotic fluid and almost sent me home (well actually, to the mall across the street to walk around - while leaking liquid, no thanks!), and then it all came out. I was able to settle into the delivery room and have lunch before it really started hurting. I think I would've been more stressed to stay at home longer - it made me feel more relaxed to have the nurses nearby early, and kinda settle in mentally to the fact that yup, it's *the* day.
@jennybean80 I love your post. First go round I was induced (& c-section bc I don’t dialate) and dr broke my water. Planning on having another c-section but I have an weird fear of my water breaking before my scheduled date.
@ummibtihaj that is frustrating that she dismissed you.
I’m away from home for the weekend (in my hometown) and for the past 48 hours my blood pressure has been running high 140s/low 100s, I decided to go to the er just to be careful last night as that is high for me, even with my normal hypertension. The nurses were all great, but the doctor was a brat. He told me I don’t need to go to a hospital for high blood pressure when pregnant, just track it and tell my doctor. Like wtf dude, do you think if I was at home I wouldn’t have called my doctor? And guess what, she would have sent me to L&D as a precaution!
@cagncoo12 wow that really makes no sense...all our doctors tell us to watch out BP! My doctor keeps bringing up the one appointment mine was 140 and checks it twice now at every appointment. You definitely were right to go in, sorry you had to deal with that.
@cagncoo12 omg! That makes my blood boil (and maybe even elevated my BP!) BP is SO important. That doc clearly doesn’t know what he’s talking about. You did the right thing. So sorry that happened.
@silverramette I was intrigued by your comment about not dilating. What do the docs say caused you not to dilate?
I just got back from an ultrasound. So, if I am 32 weeks, and measuring 3.5 weeks ahead, and the baby is already measuring over 6 pounds, what do we think the odds of them moving my scheduled CS up a week or two are???
I'm being half facetious, half serious. Both my kids were over 8 pounds so I'm used to good sized babies, but this made me a little nervous. She asked if I had GD (no). I have actually gained 10 pounds less and weigh 10 pounds less than with my first two, so i thought I was doing great.
@lest12 wow 3.5 weeks ahead!! I'm measuring 11 days ahead. If you wait until you're due date your LO would be over 10 lbs. How early will your ob do a CS?
@lest12 mine is measuring 2 weeks ahead, also with minimal weight gain (it’s just started in the past 4 weeks, and I’ve only gained 3 lbs in gnat time). With DD and DS I was always measuring right in line with my due date, and they were 6 lbs 6 oz and 6 lbs 8 oz. My OB is going to do another ultrasound at 35 or 36 weeks and if baby is still measuring that far ahead we’ll probably induce a week or two early.
A Ais measuring a week ahead and B is measuring a week and 3 days ahead which is less ahead than they have been at previous scans. When the Dr gets the results from the scan they'll let me know at the next appointment Wednesday and see how soon they want to do another scan.
@meltonjl I had fertility problems and had treatments that ended in surgery to get pregnant (took us 6 years). I was induced with my son and only dialated 5cm after 21 hours of labor. I lost the second to miscarriage at 16 weeks and didn’t dialate enough to pass fetus (had to go to hospital). My body just doesn’t do what it’s supposed to ever. That’s the only reason I’ve ever gotten. I’m thankful for my all my babies (however long I had them), but I’d rather just go in and have a c-section than go through all that again.
Need advice. Husband told me he is feeling stressed out. He said his year sucks. He will feel better once we "Find a way to pay taxes, Buy roof, kids school tuition, baby born, and still put money into a ducking 401k". How can I help him deal with the stress? We feel we are getting ahead in live and things always set us back. Like roof needing replaced and having a baby uninsured.
I think husbands will always feel stressed about providing for their families and about money in general. It is in their DNA. They have the desire to provide for us and work hard.
I would just remind him that everything will work out, maybe sit down together and hash it out on paper to see what can be done.
Me 33 DH 41 TTC since 2016 Due: October 12, 2018 Location: Ontario, Canada
I agree with chyvie, my DH seems to be going through some husband version of nesting which has resulted in him stressed out about work, suddenly pushing up us buying a house from the planned three 3 years from now to right now (like were looking at a house tonight that were ready to make an offer on and have discussed paint colors. He's determined to move on his paternity leave), has applied to grad school, taken on a super small temporary side job to help with hospital bills. And I know its hard when you're already stressed, but having a talk and trying to stay positive will definitely help! Everyone has shit happen, it's just trying to handle it in a positive way and not getting overwhelmed.
@bundleofjoy3iluvu I suggest making a Google spreadsheet with the budget and a corresponding calendar. We have one and it's super helpful. We have our monthly budget listed out for every year and we have added dates to the calendar when bills are due.
Visualizing everything really helps my DH. It may be something you are already doing, but lists and such help my DH because he is so visual. I hate to make stereotypes but I feel like men need to visualize everything.
yep, my husband is weird about money too. I would say we are financial quite stable, became 'consumer debt' free a couple years ago but it wasn't easy and took a lot of discipline. I keep telling him how good of a financial situation we are in for our age and all that. But he always thinks we can do better and isn't happy unless he has $10k sitting in a savings acct for emergencies at all times.
Like...i get it. That would be amazing. But we don't have that kind of money and not many people do!
Spreadsheets are a lifesaver. I have a huge spreadsheet of our finances for the year. Tells me how much we should have saved by the end of the year. It helps to show him like OK this is what is realistic, deal with it LOL.
Re: Questions 8/17
But for some reason now I have this fear that I won't know if I need to go to the doctor or hospital if something is happening early. I'm notorious for being like "I'm fine. I'll just wait it out," and never take medicine or call a doctor.
I think the doctor just freaked me out yesterday by saying if I feel leaky to call, but now I'm afraid I can't distinguish leaky and just the typical discharge. Or between the feeling of needing to poop and a contraction.
I'm sure I will in the moment, but now just questioning everything. Getting closer to the end is getting nerve wracking!
ETA: I’ve read all the stuff and been through the class, so I know what they say it’ll be like. But just questioning everything in the moment.
Just in case, here's the helpful list from our hospital class book:
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
For waters breaking. If you have extra discharge and you aren’t sure, your waters look just like the name says - water. It isn’t mucousy, it isn’t sticky or stringy. It’s straight liquid. It’s usually clear, but can also be “straw” coloured, if it is brown or green that’s a sign baby has passed meconium and is a sign of stress.
If you think your waters have broken (sometimes it’s just pee) put on a panty liner and wait an hour. If it’s gets damp keep it on and head to L&D, they can swab it to test for amniotic fluid. If it get saturated, don’t bother waiting the hour just go in.
@ummibtihaj that is frustrating that she dismissed you.
I’m away from home for the weekend (in my hometown) and for the past 48 hours my blood pressure has been running high 140s/low 100s, I decided to go to the er just to be careful last night as that is high for me, even with my normal hypertension. The nurses were all great, but the doctor was a brat. He told me I don’t need to go to a hospital for high blood pressure when pregnant, just track it and tell my doctor. Like wtf dude, do you think if I was at home I wouldn’t have called my doctor? And guess what, she would have sent me to L&D as a precaution!
@jennybean80 yes please
@silverramette I was intrigued by your comment about not dilating. What do the docs say caused you not to dilate?
I just got back from an ultrasound. So, if I am 32 weeks, and measuring 3.5 weeks ahead, and the baby is already measuring over 6 pounds, what do we think the odds of them moving my scheduled CS up a week or two are???
I'm being half facetious, half serious. Both my kids were over 8 pounds so I'm used to good sized babies, but this made me a little nervous. She asked if I had GD (no). I have actually gained 10 pounds less and weigh 10 pounds less than with my first two, so i thought I was doing great.
Anyone else measuring way ahead?
Ah I have to call my OB. Normally he will induce at 39 weeks but I have a feeling he will do some extra growth scans between now and then.
I would not complain if I had to go at 37 weeks. Of course as full-term as possible is ideal but you know.
Husband told me he is feeling stressed out. He said his year sucks. He will feel better once we "Find a way to pay taxes, Buy roof, kids school tuition, baby born, and still put money into a ducking 401k". How can I help him deal with the stress? We feel we are getting ahead in live and things always set us back. Like roof needing replaced and having a baby uninsured.
I would just remind him that everything will work out, maybe sit down together and hash it out on paper to see what can be done.
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
Visualizing everything really helps my DH. It may be something you are already doing, but lists and such help my DH because he is so visual. I hate to make stereotypes but I feel like men need to visualize everything.
Like...i get it. That would be amazing. But we don't have that kind of money and not many people do!
Spreadsheets are a lifesaver. I have a huge spreadsheet of our finances for the year. Tells me how much we should have saved by the end of the year. It helps to show him like OK this is what is realistic, deal with it LOL.