January 2019 Moms
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UO 8/16

edited August 2018 in January 2019 Moms
Married: May 2012
DS1: May 2016
DS2: Jan 2019
Baby #3 EDD: 6/18/24


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Re: UO 8/16

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    Halloween is a really meh holiday. I probably wouldn’t do anything to celebrate it if I didn’t have a kid. 
    Married: May 2012
    DS1: May 2016
    DS2: Jan 2019
    Baby #3 EDD: 6/18/24


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    @gorgeousariel haha, nope on the maternity costume; I never dress up anyway. 
    Married: May 2012
    DS1: May 2016
    DS2: Jan 2019
    Baby #3 EDD: 6/18/24


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    I just heard Adele's hello for the first time in a loooong time.  That song makes her look looney tunes. And I like Adele 
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    @kns1988 I don't like cats, either. There's many reasons.

    My OP: I don't like when people talk about doing (or should do) a low carb diet. I know nutrition, I've seen a few nutritionists, I am close to a few personal trainers. I know why people talk about low carb, but if it's not a medical necessity for you, it isn't actually that necessary to losing weight. I'm sure a few of you will have something to say about this, and that's fine. I DO think that balance and the type of carbs makes a difference. I could go way into the science of it, but I'll stop here.  

    Me: 30 |  DH: 33
    Married: 8/11/2007

    DD: Born 2/3/17
    BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
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    Omg blasphemy here on so many parts!!! :joy: 

    @saltedcaramel518 I LOVE Halloween! Probably mostly because it kicks off the holiday season, but also it's a good excuse to watch scary movies and gorge on candy. Maybe I will agree with you more when I have to go trick or treating, but I will probably bring a drink and be cool with it haha.

    @kns1988 noooo cats are the best! They are so low maintenance and snuggly. I guess my UO is that I like cats more than dogs. Then again, I am a lazy homebody and my dog is a crazy husky sooo he's mostly my SO's baby. I obviously love him too, but my cats are my bottom b*tches. They have teeny teeth and little bean toes, the cutest.
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    Oh, one thing that I do love about Halloween is that Jezebel always does this scary story series.where commentators post all of these crazy stories. I get lost for hours in them and then can't sleep for a week. I'll link to it when Halloween comes!
    Me: 29, DH: 31
    Married: October 2014
    Began TTC: April 2015
    BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
    BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
    BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17 <3
    BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19. 


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    @AshVA yes!!! He's actually a pretty horrible person IRL (I grew up outside of Nashville and lived/worked in an area where his family's circle crossed mine every once in a while). I hate that people follow his advice and practices out of the religious connection he puts to it. Gross. 

    Andrea -- FTM at 39!


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    @sweetyjenj I think low carb diets are one of the easier diets for people to do.  Yes, there are some good carbs but also do you need all those chips, cookies, breads, noodles, etc? Everything in moderation is key but when you are taking someone who maybe has never done a diet before and wants to lose weight, I think low carb is an easy way to go.  We *mostly* try to eat low carb and it's really helped us maintain healthy weights.

    My UO: I read an article this morning about a local company that is offering "fur-turnity leave" to new pet owners. Basically, if you have a new pet you can work from home.  It seems a little crazy when lots of companies don't even offer the proper maternity/paternity leave.  We also have some friends who told us that having a cat is like having a baby.  I was like....really???  Pets are pets, and it's awesome that they are a special part of your family but they are not real life children.
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    We never celebrated holidays growing up so I always use every holiday as an excuse to go overboard on decorating and wearing themed outfits!! 

    I loathe cats because they can be jerks and I'm secretly happy that I'm super allergic to them and can decline invited to my sisters house with her zillion cats. 

    I absolutely hate all horror everything. I still have nightmares from watching IT a few months back with my dh. And I didn't even watch any of the scary parts!! Horror films and gory stuff just makes me feel icky inside; it's a hard feeling to describe. 
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    @tosh24 I'm with you! As soon as Halloween is done, I'm decorating for Christmas. I have satellite radio and they start their Christmas music on November 1st and you better believe I'm listening to it 24/7. I almost always have my tree up by American Thanksgiving. 
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    #TeamTosh
    TW

    M/C 06/09/2011
    DS 05/29/2013
    M/C 02/14/2017 
    M/C 06/05/2017 
    C/P 03/01/2018
    BFP 05/17/2018 EDD 01/27/2019 
    Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker
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    My OP: I don't like when people talk about doing (or should do) a low carb diet. I know nutrition, I've seen a few nutritionists, I am close to a few personal trainers. I know why people talk about low carb, but if it's not a medical necessity for you, it isn't actually that necessary to losing weight. I'm sure a few of you will have something to say about this, and that's fine. I DO think that balance and the type of carbs makes a difference. I could go way into the science of it, but I'll stop here.  

    +1 I particularly dislike the low carb evangelists. If I didn’t have to eat low carb, I would stop in a heartbeat. I’ve never tried to lose weight, but it certainly does not make me feel amazing, and no, I’m not doing it wrong.
    Lilypie Maternity tickers
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    @wkuandrea omg handmaids tale costume....genius!

    I also think cats are gross/creepy and have lied and told people (including my in-laws) for years that I am allergic to cats to get out of having to touch or interact with them  :s

    @AshVA agreed on Dave Ramsey. Piggybacking on that and this maybe an UO: If you tell people that all debt is scary and bad instead of teaching them how to responsibly use it as a tool to leverage your financial wealth then you are severely inhibiting their class mobility and just creating a broader base of people to sell your BS advice to as a glimmer of hope. 

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    @AshVA I actually really like Dave Ramsey, but I also don't view him as the be all, end all of financial advice. A lot of his stuff is too black and white, where I think personal finance has to be personal. I think there are some people who are able to handle debt appropriately and use it to their advantage, but some people can't. For example, DH and I have a couple credit cards still in order to keep up a credit score, but only I have access to them as DH just cant handle it responsibly, no matter how many times we try. I think a lot of the people Dave is preaching to are like my husband, where they would be much better off using cash only and never touching a credit card. 

    I think he is in the right regarding his teachings of saving money in general, as I think that is lacking in a lot of people's lives. I also personally agree on his advice on when to buy a house and his guidelines on how much of your take home pay your mortgage should be, though I recognize it would be hard to keep your mortgage at 25% of your take home pay in areas like California,  where I am. 

    Either way, I think he has done a good job overall at getting people to a better place financially, but I do agree that he can be an a-hole at times and that his approach can be too rigid for some people's situations. 
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    @amongthewildflowers

    There are snippets of decent advice sprinkled in there, but a lot of it I think is far too rigid or geared towards a very narrow subset of people while being cast as universal advice. 

    I dislike a lot of his methods, but the one I hate the most by far is the snowball method for paying off debt.  He casts it as the ideal debt payoff method for everyone, when in reality it's only decent advice for people who 1) lack any self control whatsoever, and/or 2) care more about feeling good about paying off debt than they do about actually paying off debt in the most efficient/ least expensive manner. 

    Also, prioritizing debt payoff completely at the expense of liquidity and retirement savings is also really bad advice for many people.  


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    @tosh24 YES Christmas!!!!! November 1st, full on Christmas over here. Love it!

    @leighbrek I completely agree!! I wanted to save all my UO's about diets to future weeks and not group them together and use in one week :D And I dislike them for basically exactly what you said. I'm all for healthy long-term diets....not "diets". @UnbreakableKimmySchmidt I agree about unnecessary carbs. I don't buy chips or cookies, so I only eat a few when someone else buys them and shares them, like at work or during festivities. White bread, white rice, etc...not the best carbs. Oatmeal, quinoa, whole grain, etc are GOOD carbs, though, and can aid in losing weight. 
    Me: 30 |  DH: 33
    Married: 8/11/2007

    DD: Born 2/3/17
    BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
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    We do the same thing with our credit cards.. put everything possible on it and just pay it off each month. 
    What I'm really struggling with is what to do with our "extra" money each month. Do I put it towards loans? Do I save it for a down payment? Do I increase our retirement contributions? Do I increase our 529 contributions? I've spent a lot of time recently reading about personal finance and know I'm suppose to do all of these things, but by trying to do all of this I feel like I'm getting no where in any aspect. It's super frustrating. Both DH and I are in our late 20s with professional degrees and still feel like we are living like college kids. My peers have all bought houses by now and go on elaborate vacations.. It's not that I'm jealous of them (at least I don't think, lol), I'm just wondering what they did differently to afford a 200k-300k house 1 year out of school.. 

    I guess I still struggle with our decision to have me work part time.. Working part time and spending the other time with the kids is what I want, and I love the balance I have now, but delaying our financial goals is a cost of this. I'm not a very patient person and having to delay buying a house for at least another 3-4 years is killing me a little bit. 
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    @ashva & @galactickates I love credit card rewards! I have the Starbucks Visa and use it for basically everything and pay it off each month. No interest, but I earn at least 1-2 free drinks each month, in addition to the 20 free drinks I earned right away from opening it. I used to use a card with travel rewards and got several free flights, but now I don't travel much anymore and it's not worth it. I have had a free flight waiting for me for over a year now. Free Starbucks? Bring it on.

    We did the Dave Ramsey method years ago, but we weren't super motivated since we didn't have much debt aside from our house. I found it more annoying, and since DH and I are savvy spenders and don't shop much outside the norm, it just didn't seem worth it. I personally don't agree that you should dump all your savings onto debt and only keep $1000 until you pay off debt and rebuild the savings. It does not seem smart IMO so even if we did the Dave Ramsey again (not likley) I wouldn't drain savings to do it. That said, I do know some who have used his method with success.
    Me: 30 |  DH: 33
    Married: 8/11/2007

    DD: Born 2/3/17
    BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
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    Lots of thoughts on these.

    Cats are a million times better than dogs. I get all the snuggles without ever having to rush home to feed/walk them. They even play fetch!

    Halloween is the worst. I’m really not into any holidays that require actual effort though. And I am so not into seasonal decorations. I am pretty anal about what I display in my house and I guess I’ve never found a pumpkin/gourd/snowman that really fit my decor. I’m really glad this baby is due in January so I can skip one more year of Christmas trees/pretending to care about Christmas in general.

    Carbs are probably the best thing ever invented but I have had really good success losing weight by cutting out carbs. I feel like it helped cut down on my food cravings a ton.

    +1 to responsibly using credit. We each signed up for a travel rewards card before our wedding, put all of our expenses on it but paid them off immediately, and the points we accumulated basically paid for our honeymoon.
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    @sweetyjenj - a lot of time I will say "low carb diet" when talking about my eating habits because it is easier than saying (and explaining) that I am avoiding high glycemic load foods. I have PCOS so every bite of white bread and pasta goes right to the belly fat. If you say "low carb" people just accept it. But if I get into the explanation they tend to get a glazed look in their eyes. Lol. 
    Lilypie Maternity tickers
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    @Mandamay1414 I've often said the same thing to my husband: "HOW are all these people, who make the same money as me, affording the fancy cars, giant houses, and semi-annual vacations?" My husband, who is a financial advisor, says that most of them have a sh*tload of debt. Not everyone, of course - there's sometimes family money, or someone who caught a big break on something early on - but the majority are drowning in debt.

    I'm with you on wanting to feel like I'm progressing quickly... But maybe in the end we'll be the ones without debt in our senior years. lol

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    @AshVA Those are all valid points. I do struggle with the idea of stopping retirement contributions, and I didnt stop mine while paying off debt, but that was more because DH was only half way buying into the plan, and it was obvious we were going to spend more time paying it off than we could have spent if we were fully working together. But, as far as the debt snowball goes, if you make the calculations for the debt a lot of people have, doing the debt snowball only delays paying off debt by a couple of months, if that. That isnt always the case, like with a friend who had 3 no interest loans and a giant loan with interest, but I have seen it a lot of times. In my friend's case, definitely pay off the interest one first,  especially because he had already proven himself pretty financially responsible.

    The whole point is getting people who otherwise live paycheck to paycheck because they don't know what to do or don't care, a tangible, easy to follow plan to dig them out of their mess and into a better financial position. I think Dave Ramsey has done that for a lot of people. The details might not jive in every situation, especially those who are already decently financially responsible, but I think he has succeeded in teaching a whole bunch of people how to responsibly handle their money and get them on the path to actually care enough to pay attention and work towards their financial goals.
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    Me & carbs are inseparable. I fully believe I’d lose a bunch of weight on a low carb diet. I also believe I’d be in a crappy mood pretty much indefinitely. 
    Me (28) & DH (35)
    Met 4/2010+Married 8/2014 
    TTC #1 August 2016BFP 10/2016= DD Born 6.23.17
    NTNP April 2018. BFP 5/2018 EDD 1.29.19 *Team Green*

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    @PolarBear517 me and sugar are inseparable lol I know carbs get broken down similar to candy, but if I didn't give up oatmeal, quinoa, and whole grain english muffins (all of these are YUM) and just gave up processed sugar, i would probably lose a few lbs. But it's not worth it lol

    Having ADHD and pregnant is tough..I can't have my normal concerta OR a ton of caffeine, so I crave sugar more often to replace the stimulants.
    Me: 30 |  DH: 33
    Married: 8/11/2007

    DD: Born 2/3/17
    BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
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    @Mandamay1414 That balance is definitely a tough call, and is such a personal decision based on individual circumstances and risk tolerances.  

    For us, retirement has always been a big savings priority, to reduce taxable income and to maximize the time for the money to grow tax free.  We also prioritized saving for a down payment on a house over paying down student loans, because our mortgage is less than we paid in rent, doesn't go up like rent, and gains us equity (vs rent where the money is just gone).   We bought a smaller house than we technically could have afforded, but it was enough to suit our needs for 10-15 years or so. 

    We then built up a decent emergency cushion, because having little liquidity makes me really anxious.  

    After we had a house and a comfortable emergency cushion, we very aggressively tackled my student loans. It was a brutal slog (helped by two strategic refis), but it was SO worth it in the end. 

    Once all that is taken care of, I think how to prioritize extra income depends on personal priorities and market conditions.  For example, we prioritized our mutual funds last year while the market was going gangbusters, but have backed away from that a bit this year with a more stagnant and uncertain market.  This year the focus is more on short term baby savings, though we still try to balance medium term and retirement savings as well. 


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    To connect our two main UO convos, I think that the Snowball Method is kind of like a fad diet. It might get you started on a path, and it might keep you engaged for a while, but ultimately: 

    - It's easy to fall off of the wagon, 

    - Scientifically/ mathematically, it probably isn't the best approach for most people, 

    - You might have good results in the short term, but they probably aren't as good as the results you'd get from plain old, boring,  sustained self - discipline.

    FFThC: I'm much better with financial self- discipline than I am with dietary self - discipline lol


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    AliKay20AliKay20 member
    edited August 2018
    1. I never watched The Handmaid’s Tale & I have no desire to watch it in the future

    2. Halloween rocks. I’ll take all of your candies, thankyouverymuch

    3. I’m indifferent to cats. Definitely prefer dogs but I don’t mind them 

    4. I love going to the mall early October and seeing them prep for Christmas decor. Yesssss to Macy’s always setting up those Christmas trees earlier and earlier every year, lol

    5. +1 UO: IDGAF about Harry Potter books. I tried getting into it in 4th grade and couldn’t get past the first chapter. I do enjoy, however, butterbeer and Harry Potter world at Universal Studios. The last HP movie - I was dragged to go see and brought a sleeping mask so I can knock out. I dislike Lord Voldemort so much bc he’s scary looking AF. I slept through the entire movie and woke up when credits were rolling. No. Regrets. I know there are some HP fans in this group - no offense on any of your love for HP. Just not for me for some reason!
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    @libertymomrn your dad sounds amazing!  Those stories definitely made me tear up. What awesome memories!!
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