a couple hours ago, i got an onslaught of emails from my ob-gyn’s office about being scheduled for a ton of appointments in october that i did not initiate. i just called the main office to find out what’s going on, and they told me that they went ahead and scheduled all of my nst appointments and sent over the referral to be scheduled also at the hospital right before each of those appointments. um, thanks— NONE of those times are convienent for me. they are smack dab in the middle of the day, and i have a kid who is not allowed to come with me to the appointments at the hospital. WTF!! i was polite, but seething inside. putting this on the back-burner for today; will be an issue to sort out for future highsteaks.
Highsteaks, ugh!!!! I’m not looking forward to NSTs again. I had to do them every 3 days for a month last time. Odds are Ill be there too come Sep-Oct. I don’t even know what ill do with DD.
My wtf happened yesterday but just getting around to posting here now. I was on my way to work and called DH because I could tell something was wrong with my car - long story short, I blew a tire to the point where it was completely stripped from the rim. Had to wait 45 on the side of the highway for a tow, get to the tire place. Of course, they don’t have any tires that match what I have but they do have a “nicer” version for $170 a tire. No thanks. Ended up getting two tires, it was still $117, and I didn’t get to work until after 11. Not to mention, my car is 11 years old and we’re kind of looking at new ones before baby comes. Ugh! I hate cars!
@highsteaks Um, wtf? My office schedules several appointments out but they do it while you’re standing there approving the options. I mean, it’s nice that your office is on top of it but I can’t imagine they have much success with that approach.
@firsttimespartanmom ugh that totally stinks and must have been scary to be on the side of the highway so long. and to have an unexpected expense on top of it all
@MouseMama817 yea! at least call me for a heads up or something. it really stinks that i’ll have to call two different offices to eventually get it all squared away. it wouldn’t be such a big issue if dd could tag along, but she can’t per the mfm rules, and between the drive to/from and the three back to back appointments, this is going to be like 3-4 hours of the day each time. we’re trying to save dh’s pto for when the new babies are actually here and i‘m recovering. so annoyed.
@lostarz14@highsteaks@smulrich16 ugh I have been having a nightmare with the app. I think they’re doing work on it because sometimes when I open the community section it looks totally different (but the content is the same). It’s kept logging me out and generally being a PITA.
This may be a dumb question but what are NST tests/appointments?
My sister asked me to hurry and plan my baby shower and let her know the date & theme so she can plan her life. DH is standing firm and saying we shouldn't plan our own shower. I don't mind planning it since I don't really wanna go up to my mom and ask if she is planning one but at the same time I understand where DH is coming from. We already spent $440 just on food for the gender reveal party that my friend threw for us and we only had 35 people there. I don't even know the proper ettiquite for who throws the baby shower and plans it etc... Should I just tell my sister to ask mom? Is that putting a crazy burden on her? I want to have one but don't wanna burden someone else with it. So confused...
NSTs are usually ordered towards the end of a high risk, or if someone needs special monitoring. Usually you’ll have to go tl your hospitals L&D and they’ll hook you up to the fetal monitor for anywhere from 15-30 mins and listen to baby’s heartbeat, specifically during movement. This will help monitor mom and baby closely and make sure baby is still safe inside and heart isn’t decelerating. The OB decides how often, I had to go every 3 days for several weeks before I delivered.
@emjohn517 thanks for explaining. tbh i only knew superficially what they entailed, not specifically, so it was nice to hear exactly what’s gonna happen.
@kamahina9 generally, a baby shower is considered a “gift” from someone close to the mom to be, so therefore hosted/thrown by another person who offers to take on the responsibility. there are all sorts of implied “rules” on what’s proper or not, but those opinions will definitely vary person to person. some people would think a shower hosted by the mom to be is just a “gift grab.” personally, not me. there’s all sorts of circumstances in life, and i know that throwing a party is a great expense, so i don’t judge how one is thrown. everyone should get a baby shower to celebrate. offer cake and be gratious no matter what and i’m a happy guest. my opinions are not the norm, though. it’s really up to you what you want to do. if you are uncomfortable, then you absolutely owe it to no one to have to host.
@kamahina9 I never understood the rule about your mom not being able to throw you a shower. I mean, if you are having a shower you are receiving gifts, i just don’t see how the technicalities of someone else throwing it for you makes it less gift graby then if your mom did it. My mom threw my shower. Zero shame. It was very nice, and i know it was pricey. I couldn’t imagine or would have felt comfortable having anyone else taking on that financial burden. I agree with @highsteaks that every one deserves a celebration. I also understand everyone’s finances and their families finances vary, as well how many friends/family they have in the area that are able to take on responsibilities of planning/hosting. I personally would never think twice or judge if I received an invitation with someone throwing their own shower or their mom throwing it.
I find that throwing showers etiquette really varies with social culture. Within my own family, the mother of the soon to be mom is usually the one throwing the shower. That’s the norm for us. I don’t see that as tacky, I see it more as a mother celebrating her daughter and welcoming her into motherhood. I love showers and always go when invited, I don’t see anything about it as gift grabby, but rather women supporting the other women in your life and being a part of their journey.
As long as the mom to be isn’t throwing her own shower, I see no problem/make no judgements in who throws it! My mom and MIL co-hosted my shower with my first.
My MIL offered to throw me a shower and when I mentioned it to my mom she was super excited to help out/might end up taking it over So I don't see anything wrong with a grandma-to-be planning/hosting. I would never feel comfortable throwing/planning my own shower though and I while I'd likely attend, I'd side-eye a bit if a mom-to-be threw/planned her own shower.
BFP 3/21/2020! OMG We're having TWINS! 4/17/2020 -------------------------------- LO arrived 11/9/2018! We have a baby! -------------------------------- Me: 33 | DH: 41 Married: March 2016 TTC #1/IUD out January 2017 PCOS dx January 2018 Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018 BFP 3/10/2018! -------------------------------
TTGP December Siggy Co-Winner: Favorite Moments from Holiday Movies/TV
My mom says the old rule is a family member shouldn’t do it and you shouldn’t be too flashy with a registry on the invite. But I think both those are silly nowadays - people are busy, showers are time consuming and expensive and people want to know what you want! Let whoever throw it. I think having to throw your own is sad, really.
I do think asking for cash either for a wedding or baby registry is tacky though
@emjohn517 - thanks for explaining the testing! I hadn't heard anything about a test like that but I was told I would have more appointments when I'm closer to the due date.
Thank you everyone for your input about the shower. I will probably just let my mom take care of it then. I just feel bad cause I know it's a lot of $$.
@lifesabeach85 we did honeyfund for our wedding. When DH and I met we both already I need our own homes and when combining really didn't need anything as we had to down size. the gifts all helped with costs of honeymoon and we were able to have 2 weeks in Kauai. I don't think there is anything wrong with asking for cash for weddings and have never heard anyone ask for cash for a baby shower.
My WTF has to do with buying a house. Why is it so hard! Now our settlement is moved and they need a while lot of documents they never mentioned! I am so over all of it and just want it to be over.
I ALWAYS give cash for weddings, and I don’t mind if someone has a honeymoon fund. My husband and I got married in our 30s (as is the trend among our friends). We each owned a condo and really didn’t need anything (in fact we had to consolidate and donate a lot). Coming up with a registry was difficult. I know you can always say no gifts please, but just because we didn’t need a new blender, doesn’t necessarily mean we couldn’t use the cash to help pay for the wedding, or take a nice trip. Culturally my family always gives cash in lieu of gifts, so it’s just something I grew up with. If im spending X amount of money, it truly makes no difference to me if it’s in cash/gift card form, or an actual gift. I see no problem with people preferring cash/gift cards. I personally want to give a gift that someone wants/needs vs it never being used or returned.
So last week I went through my welcome bags and looked at all the coupons to see if there was anything I thought I would use. There were instructions for getting a breast pump through your insurance and being able to pick it up right at Target. I filled out all the paperwork and got an email saying that I would be contacted in 1-2 business days to confirm the order. I just got an email saying that it was cancelled because my window for picking up the pump at Target expired. I was never even told it was available for pick-up or that the order was confirmed! I just emailed back and I am waiting to hear, but how annoying!!
Me: 34 DH: 34 Married 10/28/17 Our TTC Journey
TTC #1 February '18 Team Green turned TeamBlue 10/15/18
TTC #2 January '21 BFP June '21 MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C July '21 Jan '22 - started IF testing BFP Jan '22 MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C Feb '22 BFP May '22
@tessiesmom26 Was your pump completely free at Target through insurance? Double check, because my insurance there’s no co-pay if it’s an in network DME provider, but there is one if it’s filled out of network. That’s definitely annoying they never called you to pick up, though!
@bfpafter4years I called my insurance and asked what I needed/what was covered/where, and then I asked my dr for the RX. I wasn’t taking any chances in not talking to insurance first!
With my first I was concerned about getting my breast pump too but that was all taken care of at the hospital when baby was born. Because I decided to attempt breastfeeding the doctor wrote a prescription for a breast pump, insurance covered it, and the hospital pharmacy had one sent to my room to take home with me the next day. Maybe something to ask about when/if you take a hospital tour.
our insurance wouldnt cover one until the baby was actually born. Once I gave birth the nurses took care of getting the script and the hospital pharmacy stocked them and provided it. I could begin using it immediately while she was in the NICU.
Im sure all insurances are different, along with their policies, but if your case is similar to mine, it was pretty easy to maneuver.
Re: WTF Wednesday
@MouseMama817 yea! at least call me for a heads up or something. it really stinks that i’ll have to call two different offices to eventually get it all squared away. it wouldn’t be such a big issue if dd could tag along, but she can’t per the mfm rules, and between the drive to/from and the three back to back appointments, this is going to be like 3-4 hours of the day each time. we’re trying to save dh’s pto for when the new babies are actually here and i‘m recovering. so annoyed.
My sister asked me to hurry and plan my baby shower and let her know the date & theme so she can plan her life. DH is standing firm and saying we shouldn't plan our own shower. I don't mind planning it since I don't really wanna go up to my mom and ask if she is planning one but at the same time I understand where DH is coming from. We already spent $440 just on food for the gender reveal party that my friend threw for us and we only had 35 people there. I don't even know the proper ettiquite for who throws the baby shower and plans it etc... Should I just tell my sister to ask mom? Is that putting a crazy burden on her? I want to have one but don't wanna burden someone else with it. So confused...
@kamahina9 generally, a baby shower is considered a “gift” from someone close to the mom to be, so therefore hosted/thrown by another person who offers to take on the responsibility. there are all sorts of implied “rules” on what’s proper or not, but those opinions will definitely vary person to person. some people would think a shower hosted by the mom to be is just a “gift grab.” personally, not me. there’s all sorts of circumstances in life, and i know that throwing a party is a great expense, so i don’t judge how one is thrown. everyone should get a baby shower to celebrate. offer cake and be gratious no matter what and i’m a happy guest. my opinions are not the norm, though. it’s really up to you what you want to do. if you are uncomfortable, then you absolutely owe it to no one to have to host.
--------------------------------
LO arrived 11/9/2018! We have a baby!
--------------------------------
Me: 33 | DH: 41
Married: March 2016
TTC #1/IUD out January 2017
PCOS dx January 2018
Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018
BFP 3/10/2018!
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I do think asking for cash either for a wedding or baby registry is tacky though
Thank you everyone for your input about the shower. I will probably just let my mom take care of it then. I just feel bad cause I know it's a lot of $$.
Married 10/28/17
Our TTC Journey
Team Green turned Team Blue 10/15/18
TTC #2 January '21
BFP June '21
MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C July '21
Jan '22 - started IF testing
BFP Jan '22
MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C Feb '22
BFP May '22
our insurance wouldnt cover one until the baby was actually born. Once I gave birth the nurses took care of getting the script and the hospital pharmacy stocked them and provided it. I could begin using it immediately while she was in the NICU.
Im sure all insurances are different, along with their policies, but if your case is similar to mine, it was pretty easy to maneuver.