For you FTM's when choosing a brand for diapers, wipes, bottles, diaper cream, formula and other related items, I would choose a variety of brands to start off with, until you find one that you like, or you discover your baby has a brand they absolutely hate or has a bad reaction to.
Totally agree @disneybaby84 my kid had little chicken legs and everything but pampers leaked on him. Now he’s enormous and wears Costco during the day, huggies at night and pampers swim diapers. They all fit differently in my opinion.
I’m a STM too, but I have a friend who’s pregnant with her first. She keeps being surprised by things that happen when you’re pregnant that I forgot to tell her about. SO S+TMs, what are things about pregnancy that you didn’t know with your first? For instance: transvaginal ultrasounds, constipation, mucus plug, not being able to wipe for weeks, the scary first shit, so on and so forth
what really surprised me is what it was like in real life when my water broke. I had no idea it was supposed to be this gushing waterfall of liquid for hours. The tv and movies did me wrong.
what really surprised me is what it was like in real life when my water broke. I had no idea it was supposed to be this gushing waterfall of liquid for hours. The tv and movies did me wrong.
Yep - with my first, it was like a snapping rubber band followed by a gush and a guah every contraction. With my second, it was a slow leak because his head was so big and hey actually had to rebreak it multiple times because it was slowing down labor.
also and feel free to laugh. when the baby's head was coming through, I kept telling everyone I had a UTI and I was upset the nurses weren't treating me for a UTI. However mind you, I had already been in labor for 29 hours at this point, I was not in my right state of mind
For me, I assumed that because I was having a c/s with my first (DD was breech), I wouldn’t bleed. Wrong.
Even with a vaginal birth, no one really tells you what to expect or what it's going to be like. Steal as many pairs of those mesh underwear and supersized pads as possible.
I had to tell my H’s niece that she couldn’t use tampons for the postpartum bleed. She was like 36 weeks and had no idea.
Honestly, I really had no idea until I started reading about what to have PP and I was 26 when my first was born.
SAME. I had no idea what to expect until I started googling what to pack in my hospital bags. Like why would I need underwear I’m willing to throw away? Why do I need a spray bottle?
The bleeding, the pushing on my damn stomach every few hours for days!! I had a c-section, and was not expecting all the pushing on me!! Also, I was soooo swollen for almost the whole week after, i barely fit in my oversized fluffy socks-forget the shoes I had that were a size up from normal. I looked like an elephant- water and walking people!! It went down within a day of being home.
TW: 1 infant loss 8/17: Our daughter was born 8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass 2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
@smallbutmighty77 - the pushing is fucking terrible. I forgot about that despite going through it twice. Also, don't look at the placenta. Trust me. I accidentally saw it after my second birth and almost threw up.
@ruby696 FTM and I’m so lost I don’t even know which questions to ask! I am reading through all of this and trying to soak up info. I figure once the scary first tri is over I’ll be more active in asking questions.
Please keep the convo going though, dunno about other FTM’s but I feel like I’m learning a lot from you all!
@kayjay44 Ugh, the pushing. My second was a VBAC (I didn't want a repeat c-section because DS was so young) and it felt like I was shitting a football - and that was with an epidural. I just kept thinking that I didn't understand why c-section moms felt like they were missing something by not having a vaginal childbirth (not all c-section moms, but some of my friends). It was horrible and anyone who has to have a c-section should not feel like they missed out on "the experience." Just my two cents.
I'm in the same boat as @grebretso and @lokibear89. I have no idea what I don't know! I deeply appreciative of all you S+TM who are sharing all you know. These are honestly my favourite threads every week.
Agreed on the pushing. And the empty feeling in your womb after baby is born. That’s such a wild feeling. Like all your guts are floating and your stomach is just a cavern.
@lokibear89 Don't be afraid. It's all worth it and when it's happening, you just do it because you have to. After DD was born, I was immediately sad that the experience was over and I would never get to do it again. While sitting on a pad full of crushed ice. And here I am again for the 3rd time.
The pushing is "massage" the nurses/MWs do after birth to help shrink your ute faster. It decreases the risk of PP hemorrhage but hurts like a bitch.
I also assumed my vagina would be so messed up. I had a vertical labial tear that healed fine the first time and no tearing the second time. And sex is actually better for us both post-kids. But my butt will never be the same. Hemis, skin tags, fissures. The worst.
@ruby696 - I'm not sure they did it the first time, but did the second for sure. Our area (Seattle) tends to be pretty progressive when it comes to medical techniques and recommendations so it might be a newer thing? I have to say, I did cramp less while BFing the second time after the "massage" than I did the first time, which was nice.
Interesting @kayjay44. We'll see how it goes this time.
Another point - don't be afraid to ask for help with breastfeeding, if that's what you're planning to do. Even for people who are able to BF easily, it can be incredibly painful when you start and frustrating. Neither you nor baby know what you're doing. If you think you need help, you can usually get free sessions with a lactation consultant at the hospital. And don't hesitate to call your doctor/MW after you're discharged if you need additional resources.
i personally did a natural birth which means no epidural, vaginal birth. Yes, I had 33 hours of labor. My water broke and I was not effaced at all. However, because i went all natural, after 48 hours I was arguing with nurses to let me out of the hospital because i had bounced back already. So, yesI’m going all natural again. Hopefully this labor is same day. But I know some things I did wrong that got me 33 hours of labor. I also know how i got my water to spontaneously break and I have to decide if i want to do the same thing again.
One of the first things I said after delivering was “How much of my colon is hanging out of my butt?!” it honestly felt like my butthole was hanging out. Didn’t hurt...just felt weird.
@disneybaby84 You're my hero. Seriously. After two births, I've learned that any intervention, including an epidural, stalls labor for me. DD probably would have been born in 5 hours, but it took 9 (DS was 27 hours of back labor, with cytotec, pitocin, then c-section). I was almost at 7 when i had the epidural after only 3 hours of contractions. After epi, cervix went down to a 5 and stayed there for hours. I should have held off. I'm going to try to go natural this time for sure.
I agree with the comments that the placenta is awesome! They asked if I wanted to see it and I was like NO, but my husband said yes so I got FOMO and checked it out too. Then I was so amazed I had him take a pic and I still show it to people like a sideshow. Also did natural and agree when you’re going through it the only reason you do is because you have no other choice. Had I an escape button, I would have gotten the hell out of there and given the baby back too. I was traumatized and in shock but it was a quick labor (thank god). I was surprised by how much help I needed to go to the bathroom and how awkward it was the first time. At least for me, I thought it looked like a grenade had exploded my genitals, all swollen and bloody, and needed help to walk, sit, arrange ice packs, wipe, the whole deal. I’m not sure if that helps to know or not. Id forgotten about those uterus massages.... those were tough. I was like why are you torturing me after all I’ve been through. Also, one last gem- they had to check my situation a few times to make sure everything was ok and one of the first times the nurse was down there I had post labor gas and could not control the amount of farting I was doing right in her face. I laugh now but I was so embarrassed and apologetic but I couldn’t control it at all. Oh the joys of childbirth. I’d take that over first tri though!
@ssag I agree, I’d rather give birth than first tri....or third tri for that matter... I didn’t look at my hooha until I healed. I didn’t have any tearing and I liken the feeling after birth to road rash.
Anyone do home birth? its my midwifes preference but not really sure about it. Where I live you have to get a ferry to get to any hospital so from that perspective it would be handy.
I totally grabbed a mirror and checked out my lady parts. Partially out of morbid curiosity and partially because I wanted to know what it looked like to see when it looked better. I had stitches (my first stitches ever ... lovely) and was nervous about how they’d heal.
I begged for an epidural after being induced. Unfortunately it stopped working. My son was sunny side up so they had to flip him with that motherfucking peanut ball. Right when he flipped the epidural wore off. Then he got trapped in my tailbone for 2 hours. I was not the most polite I’ve ever been. Even after everything I’d take childbirth over first or third tri too. The way the room looks when you’re finished is incredible - everything just glows and feels soft and warm for a little bit. Maybe that’s adrenaline? Thennnnnnn I felt those stitches. And the glow went away.
@lokibear89 - I have two friends who did and have talked to them about it a lot.
I also checked myself out with a mirror after but it wasn’t too bad.
I had “half and epidural” the first time (only worked on one half) and no epidural the second (I was too far to get one so they had to stop trying and DS was born 15 minutes later, so I had all the nasty side effects and none of the good stuff). I always shoot for natural with the knowledge I can change my mind. I have fast labors and only end up pushing for a little bit (less than 30 minutes and less than 15).
Re: Ask a STM (w/o 7/9)
I’m a STM too, but I have a friend who’s pregnant with her first. She keeps being surprised by things that happen when you’re pregnant that I forgot to tell her about. SO S+TMs, what are things about pregnancy that you didn’t know with your first? For instance: transvaginal ultrasounds, constipation, mucus plug, not being able to wipe for weeks, the scary first shit, so on and so forth
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
1 infant loss
8/17: Our daughter was born
8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old
4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
I didn't realize until my second pregnancy that I could wear my own clothes while in labor. OMG that made such a difference in my mental state.
Please keep the convo going though, dunno about other FTM’s but I feel like I’m learning a lot from you all!
I also assumed my vagina would be so messed up. I had a vertical labial tear that healed fine the first time and no tearing the second time. And sex is actually better for us both post-kids. But my butt will never be the same. Hemis, skin tags, fissures. The worst.
Also, start kegels now. Trust me.
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
Another point - don't be afraid to ask for help with breastfeeding, if that's what you're planning to do. Even for people who are able to BF easily, it can be incredibly painful when you start and frustrating. Neither you nor baby know what you're doing. If you think you need help, you can usually get free sessions with a lactation consultant at the hospital. And don't hesitate to call your doctor/MW after you're discharged if you need additional resources.
ETA: spelling
Also did natural and agree when you’re going through it the only reason you do is because you have no other choice. Had I an escape button, I would have gotten the hell out of there and given the baby back too. I was traumatized and in shock but it was a quick labor (thank god).
I was surprised by how much help I needed to go to the bathroom and how awkward it was the first time. At least for me, I thought it looked like a grenade had exploded my genitals, all swollen and bloody, and needed help to walk, sit, arrange ice packs, wipe, the whole deal. I’m not sure if that helps to know or not.
Id forgotten about those uterus massages.... those were tough. I was like why are you torturing me after all I’ve been through.
Also, one last gem- they had to check my situation a few times to make sure everything was ok and one of the first times the nurse was down there I had post labor gas and could not control the amount of farting I was doing right in her face. I laugh now but I was so embarrassed and apologetic but I couldn’t control it at all.
Oh the joys of childbirth. I’d take that over first tri though!
I begged for an epidural after being induced. Unfortunately it stopped working. My son was sunny side up so they had to flip him with that motherfucking peanut ball. Right when he flipped the epidural wore off. Then he got trapped in my tailbone for 2 hours. I was not the most polite I’ve ever been. Even after everything I’d take childbirth over first or third tri too. The way the room looks when you’re finished is incredible - everything just glows and feels soft and warm for a little bit. Maybe that’s adrenaline? Thennnnnnn I felt those stitches. And the glow went away.
I also checked myself out with a mirror after but it wasn’t too bad.
I had “half and epidural” the first time (only worked on one half) and no epidural the second (I was too far to get one so they had to stop trying and DS was born 15 minutes later, so I had all the nasty side effects and none of the good stuff). I always shoot for natural with the knowledge I can change my mind. I have fast labors and only end up pushing for a little bit (less than 30 minutes and less than 15).
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019