MBF Week of 7/2 — The Bump
January 2019 Moms

MBF Week of 7/2

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Re: MBF Week of 7/2

  • I hate to bitch because I have this whole week off and I love the 4th of July. But we were both away all weekend and came back to a sweltering house. Turned on the central air and it’s NOT WORKING. 

    Also I spent the weekend at my parents and it was a good weekend. Then Sunday as I’m drinking my coffee my Dad decided to start in on politics, which for him is just condescension and mocking. When I proved a few of his points wrong, he stormed out and left the house without saying anything. I packed up and left before he got back (we couldn’t wait all day) so he didn’t even say goodbye to me or DS before we left. 

    image


    Pregnancy Ticker
    kianarainwolfmumkns1988
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  • @Kabazaba  I feel murderous thinking it's another 3ish weeks for me. The nausea has GOT to stop. I've been craving beer really badly (not that I even drink that much anymore) and might have one after I make it past this 1st Tri. 

    Andrea -- FTM at 39!


  • @julesf817 ugh noooo! Being hot is.....the kiss of death right now. We have ONE window AC unit, so I've been hiding out in the bedroom. 

    Bitching because my fridge smells SO BAD ALL THE TIME. I have SO on weekly fridge cleaning duty, but it just doesn't seem to be enough. I swear any time I open the fridge I just automatically hold my breath. Any weird combo of smells right now is just not doing it for me.

    Also, my work claims to be all "give and take" but feeling a LOT of take lately. They give us minimum days off, and it doesn't help that SO's is so generous. Leaving early tomorrow, 4th, 5th AND 6th off. And I'm just over here pregnant, tired, and working full days. BAH no fair :cry:
    KLS123Kabazaba
  • June has straight up been the month from hell for me at work. I'm super annoyed that I'm too busy to take any time off around the 4th of July and I'm probably going to end up logging in to do some things on the 4th. Maternity leave is my only light at the end of the tunnel here. I can't wait!

    Also, my husband has been playing Fornite constantly and it is driving me crazy. He doesn't use a mic or anything (thank god)  but usually the other people on his "team" are obnoxious pre-teen boys and I just hear their voices constantly throughout our home. It has almost made me less excited to have a son because it's just so annoying listening to them. It is kind of funny to hear them curse out my husband when he does something stupid though..
    kianaraincanichangethislaterersh1010kns1988
  • @julesf817 I would likely commit murder if I had to deal with no AC and a family member starting a political conversation like that. 

    I feel bad complaining after hearing that so many of you don’t have time off this week, but DH had a business trip to the beach that we tagged along on and it’s raining! It’s supposed to storm all week. And I slept like crap last night so I’m cranky today. 
    married 7.11.09
    Me: 31 DH: 36
    DD (14) and DS (11) adopted from US Foster care December 2016
    BFP April 24, 2018 | EDD December 29, 2018
    Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker
  • DH and I have been battling over the thermostat. It’s been 100 degrees the last few days and this pregnant mama is HOT. We usually keep it around 82 because PG&E is freaking expensive BUT DH has been keeping it on like 85. Uhhhh, no dude. I know I’m not working right now but I’m freaking hot. I walk by and turn it down a degree or two and then he turns it back up! I turn it down to where I want it when he’s not home. Muahahahahahaha. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I was behind the slowest drivers on my way to work. 10 under the speed limit with no passing lane.  And another slow driver who literally stopped at the light with no cars and wouldn't turn right until the light turned green.  The only option at this light is a left turn or a right turn.  He was literally just blocking the road for no reason. So irritated at stupid drivers.  
    Me:33 & DH:35 - Married 
    TTC 1 since Aug17
    BFP 1- 10/20 ended with EP Lap and left tube removed on 11/20 at 9 weeks.


  • KLS123KLS123
    100 Comments Photogenic Name Dropper
    member
    So in an effort to ease my anxiety about being socially isolated after birth (FTM with a small/long distance friend group that has no kids), I decided to put myself out there and show up at a lunch organized by the local Moms group as a pre-req to joining said group. Built up the courage to show up to a gathering, by myself, where I knew no one....and....nobody showed up. I sat at the restaurant for 30 minutes "just in case" having to fend of inquiries from the waitress and it was humiliating. THEN I went to prenatal yoga for the first time the next day thinking "dust yourself off, this is it, make new friends" and nobody stuck around afterwards to chitchat or get to know each other. Why is making new friends IRL as an adult so dang hard??
    leighbrekmerostomataLeahNicole greenhillgirl
  • Bittersweet bitch from me. We finally put an offer in on a house last week and it was accepted! After five months of serious looking this was fantastic for us. But now I actually have to deal with the current house and getting it ready to be listed (this coming weekend). I don’t usually get so bitter about my husband working so much but I’m irritated that his schedule this week means I’m basically on my own to handle the house stuff - MAJOR purging and decluttering. I’m taking tomorrow off and sending DD to daycare still just to have some time but I already resent him for not doing the same and for any single effing comment he might make about the job I do of it. I know he busts his ass at work but when I look at the work I have to do on the house all alone I see red. 
    molosmileskns1988
  • KLS123 said:
    So in an effort to ease my anxiety about being socially isolated after birth (FTM with a small/long distance friend group that has no kids), I decided to put myself out there and show up at a lunch organized by the local Moms group as a pre-req to joining said group. Built up the courage to show up to a gathering, by myself, where I knew no one....and....nobody showed up. I sat at the restaurant for 30 minutes "just in case" having to fend of inquiries from the waitress and it was humiliating. THEN I went to prenatal yoga for the first time the next day thinking "dust yourself off, this is it, make new friends" and nobody stuck around afterwards to chitchat or get to know each other. Why is making new friends IRL as an adult so dang hard??
    That sucks, I’m sorry. Just some commiseration; I’m a huge introvert and find making adult friends so hard as well. I HATE small talk and rarely initiate it, but it’s pretty much necessary to get to know some one new. I have a great group of friends via my small group at church, but I was part of the church for over 2 years before connecting to that group. 

    It’s awesome that that you put yourself out there (it would have taken me a lot of courage to do that). 
    Me: 29 DH: 31
    Married: May 2012
    DS: born May 2016
    Baby Boy # 2 EDD: 1/27/2019


    KLS123texasmommieleighbrekmerostomata
  • @KLS123 ugh I’m so sorry! I will say that after my son was born I found a local first time mom’s group at a hospital. It was once a week and we met with our babies. There was a moderator who kept things moving along but otherwise it was really easy going and low pressure, and I’m still friends with some of the moms I met there four years later! 

    image


    Pregnancy Ticker
    KLS123leighbrek
  • @KLS123 Sorry about your experiences. It's awesome that you tried, though. I'm not even sure I could put myself out there like you did. I'm introverted and terrible at talking with people I don't know that well. It used to not bother me that I don't have any "mom friends," but I'm starting to feel the void. It would just be nice to have a friend IRL with kids of her own. 
    AliKay20KLS123
  • DD is sick. Her pediatrician is available after hours yet when we go make a follow up visit per his suggestion, it’s always with the NP. I don’t mind once in a while but when the past 3 visits were w the NP and the only appt w doc was her first visit, I’m not okay with it esp. when talking to him, it makes it sound like he’s going to see DD. NP is super nice but she once told us to get some medicine for DD and the pharmacist looked surprised bc DD wasn’t at the age range to take it. Ever since then, there’s a bit of mistrust in the info given by NP. 

    Another MBF is work related: overly needy clients who take zero accountability in what they need to do before expecting 100 things from me.

    Last MBF is fk off to anyone who tries to take your pregnancy joy away with their insensitive comments whether it comes out of nothing or jealousy or what have you. Ain’t nobody got time for that drama in your lives! 
    texasmommieleighbrek



  • @KLS123 I'm so sorry you had that experience, way to put in the effort!  I help run a local moms group and it's unacceptable that they didn't share if they weren't meeting at the restaurant any longer.  Like others mentioned look into new moms groups at your hospital or in your community.  My area also offers Early Childhood Family Education through the school district and they have many classes starting at birth, for parents/infants to attend together.  They have days/weekend classes and it's a great way to meet parents who have kids the same age as you.  See if your area offers it, structured activities are really nice to have and a great way to meet people.
    KLS123AliKay20texasmommie
  • DD was supposed to start summer school today. DH was supposed to remind the sitter. He did not. (He does drop off) So she missed the first day of summer school. This is supposed to be fun and just help her retain all of the information she learned throughout the year. It's coveted in our school and she was lucky to get in. And she missed the first freakin day because DH forgot. I asked him if he reminded her and he said no. I reminded him to remind her less than an hour before he was supposed to do it. Like really? So I'm annoyed. She'll go tomorrow and hopefully it will be fine but come on. It's only four hours a day for a month. She can't miss the first day. There aren't that many days!


    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickersLilypie Pregnancy tickers

    I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017

    Meimsx no more
    texasmommiekns1988
  • Work potlucks. I hate them. I just found out that we’re having one tomorrow for brunch. I work full time and have a toddler (and DH is out of town).. I don’t have time to make something for brunch on a week night. And sure, something store bought would be fine, but I also don’t want to drag DS to a store tonight. 
    Me: 29 DH: 31
    Married: May 2012
    DS: born May 2016
    Baby Boy # 2 EDD: 1/27/2019


    texasmommie
  • @saltedcaramel518  oooh boy that's the number one thing I don't miss about moving from a very small to a very large company. So many potlucks/birthday parties/showers/etc. I would just not bring anything but I'm also terrible.
    saltedcaramel518



  • My in-laws LOVE to plan ahead.  They live in California and we live in the Midwest and are traveling out there in September and they are already asking what our plans are for when we are there...then they were hinting about plans for the holidays (I won't be able to fly at that point, which they realize) and plans for after baby is born.  DH is not the most "take charge, let's make a plan" person so it's a little annoying when I have to keep bringing up things and get him to ask his family /tell his family what to do.
    texasmommie
  • @UnbreakableKimmySchmidt SAME my inlaws are being so extra about this, and are completely renovating a  room in their house to be a bougey nursery when the kid could easily sleep over in a pack-and-play!
    @Kabazaba  That is so NOT cool of your friend. I am losing patience for people (in general) but especially when they just spew out things they THINK they know and then are adamant it's a fact.  My FIL is this way all the time...wishing I could have some wine around him now to better disassociate from his nonsense.  And SAME on the sushi. I miss it so dang much! Wha'll be the first thing you get?! I think I'll go for a spicy crunchy salmon roll.  :yum:

    My MBF....
    I have a psycho aunt who has caused all sorts of unnecessary family drama because she's a narcissistic, greedy B****! She screwed my mom and my other aunt out of what little $ and valuable jewelry my grandmother left when she passed away because she claimed that my grandmother gave it all away or sold it years ago...a crock of POOP.  She's done other shady things in this realm which I assure you, if you let your imaginations run wild you probably won't be far off from the reality.  She is someone who always turns the conversation back to the 2 of her 3 kids that she likes.  And newly added to the mix, her first/only granddaughter.  Last year, at the baby's naming ceremony (we're Jewish) I was holding the kid and my aunt says to me "Don't worry this will happen for you soon."  FCK AWF LADY don't tell me about the journey my wife and I need to take to conceive a kid!

    So I unfriended her on facebook months ago after all the drama went down with my grandmother's belongings -- I don't need that energy in my life.  She (not being my facebook friend) messaged me last night after we announced our pregnancy and writes to me "ohh are we not facebook friends? I can see your page but not your announcement." Apparently, my cousin told her, which is exactly the way I wanted her to find out...from someone else!  Also Ahem Aunt CrazyPants....you know we aren't FB friends because you requested me back multiple times and I denied you!  So if she was playing stupid then so would I!  I replied "Ohhhh IDK I don't use facebook much."  She tells me how excited she was to be a Great Aunt...A SUBJECTIVE TITLE, IN MY OPINION!  Also she's lucky if I let her near the kid at all!  She asks me how I am feeling. And when I say tired, she said my least favorite thing I've been getting since telling people we're pregnant... "Just wait because when that baby comes you'll REALLY be tired." :angry: 

    At the end, she mentioned the facebook friends thing again and said be my friend...so I said ok but will wait for her to request me.  Social media brings out the most passive-aggressive petty side of me but this woman is seriously a pain in the A$$!  Ohhhhh family!

    My wife and I have conceived a babe with my body and frozen donor sperm through IUI, with medication support (clomid, ovidrel, and injections of progesterone)

    IUI #1, #2, and #3: Dec 2017, Jan 2018, and Feb 2018 - all BFN
    HSG Test: April 2018 - all clear!
    IUI #4: April 15/16, 2018 - BFP!! EDD: Jan 7, 2019 




    KabazabaAliKay20texasmommiemerostomata
  • pttomatopttomato
    500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper Photogenic
    member
    edited July 2018
    @KLS123 I’m sorry that happened. That actually happened to me the first time I tried to go to a mom group event, no one showed up. It took me a little while to try again (with another group), but I eventually found it one that worked for me and is better about not having no shows.
    Lilypie Maternity tickers
    texasmommie
  • My Endo called me today to ask me why I have an appointment, didn’t he just see me in April? So he doesn’t need to see me until Nov. Except I stated my reason for the appointment to the scheduler when I made it (because I’m pregnant) and we discussed that I was TTC last time and he told me to call and make an appointment when I was pregnant. Plus, can he move my appointment up from 4 pm to 30 min from now.
    Lilypie Maternity tickers
    texasmommie
  • @rooonilwaazlib ugh.  I think older people make facebook difficult.  Your aunt sounds like a real treat.  I have an aunt who unfriended me because we had different political views and she didn't like my opinions.
    texasmommie
  • I don't mind department potlucks. We have a department of 10ish and so that's not so bad. I cringe at the thought of all 200-300 people participating though. That would be torture. I can say though that at my last company there were a few people we avoided like the plague if they brought food. Because we could get the plague. 


    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickersLilypie Pregnancy tickers

    I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017

    Meimsx no more
    katethemomtexasmommierooonilwaazlib
  • I sort of decided to put job hunting aside until after the baby and took a job at a beverage establishment that pays nothing but has good benefits. Anyway I now work with people who are mostly around 15 years younger than me. For the most part they’re awesome. But this one girl is terrible. She’s constantly antagonizing me. And I’m a grownup so I ignore her for the most part. But today she would not stop and I just could not anymore. I came home and cried. Not because she hurt my feelings but because I feel like such a failure for not having been able to get a job in my field and resorting to a situation where I’m belittled by an 18 year old. I still definitely have lots of hormones.
  • @canichangethislater Man, that sucks. I hate when younger people feel the need to demean older people that they work with. What's the point of that behavior? I hope it gets easier for you. 
  • julesf817 said:

    Also I spent the weekend at my parents and it was a good weekend. Then Sunday as I’m drinking my coffee my Dad decided to start in on politics, which for him is just condescension and mocking. When I proved a few of his points wrong, he stormed out and left the house without saying anything. I packed up and left before he got back (we couldn’t wait all day) so he didn’t even say goodbye to me or DS before we left. 
    Sounds like my husband’s side of the family. My FIL was furious for sometime when he found out I didn’t vote for Mitt Romney in the presidential election several years back. He didn’t even let me explain why, or who I did vote for. I don’t discuss politics with him anymore. In fact, I can only discuss politics with one of my BILs on my husband’s side of the family, because no one else can handle it maturely. It’s kind of hard because I am very involved in local and state politics; I work on campaigns and frequent the State Capitol when the legislature is in session. I’m currently co-sponsoring a ballot initiative in my state. But I don’t typically talk about any of that with my husband’s side of the family.

    Luckily, all my brothers are awesome about discussing politics. We all have different ideas about politics and candidates. We can discuss and debate them in depth, disagree, and still be friends! I wish the rest of he world was like that.
    julesf817
  • jgil85jgil85
    500 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    I took ds to swim class today and my parents came to watch. My mom asked me today if I had maternity swimsuits with ds. I said no, and she said well you should think about buying one. It wasn't what she said but how she said it. She's been a complete bitch to me lately and this comment just pushed me over the edge. So now I have a total complex about how I look in my swimsuit and feel really self-conscious. 
  • My mom looked at me today and said "These placemats are DISGUSTING. You really need to buy new ones." Um. Why do parents think they can be super rude to their kids? You wouldn't say that to anyone else. And for the record, they're not disgusting at all! They had some crumbs on them that *gasp* can be brushed off. 
    Me: 29, DH: 31
    Married: October 2014
    Began TTC: April 2015
    BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
    BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
    BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17 <3
    BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19. 


  • @sparkymcgeee, Ugh, mental load. You shouldn't have to remind him to remind her, but then for him to forget anyways? I'd be pissed. 
    Me: 29, DH: 31
    Married: October 2014
    Began TTC: April 2015
    BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
    BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
    BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17 <3
    BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19. 


    Kabazabasparkymcgeee
  • jgil85jgil85
    500 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    kns1988 said:
    My mom looked at me today and said "These placemats are DISGUSTING. You really need to buy new ones." Um. Why do parents think they can be super rude to their kids? You wouldn't say that to anyone else. And for the record, they're not disgusting at all! They had some crumbs on them that *gasp* can be brushed off. 
    Ugh I'm sorry. It sounds like we both have mothers that are just plain rude sometimes. The pregnancy hormones probably don't help. I don't get why parents can be so mean to their own children! I can't ever imagine being mean or saying mean things to my kids, even when they are grown adults. 
    kns1988
  • I'm into week 12 now and have had a headache nonstop since Friday. Ugh!

    MBF: My boss has been "working from home" 9/10 of the last workdays, which she really has been using to do yard work and see family. I think it's pretty silly when the rest of us are hard at work in the office, but at the same time I have a more pleasant work day when she's out and doesn't interrupt me 20x per day. The only thing she's been doing now with these "work from home" days is she'll decide to 'check in' online right at the end of the workday, when she's been offline the whole time up until then. We have an IM system, so she'll come online at 4:30 or 5pm and ask some random, innocent seeming question or request some information to check up. It's super irritating.

    Today she sent me an email at 5:30pm (I left at 5) requesting some billing information asap, when she could have asked the same thing anytime during the entire day. I usually am the type to begrudgingly respond to after-hours emails on my phone, but have no patience anymore with the pregnancy hormones. No more!! When I'm off I'm off! (Especially when she's been off, and not taking vacation days, for the last 2 weeks)

    Note: I totally am in favor of being able to work from home in general, and I'm not skeptical just because she's not in the office. I occasionally work from home too. She has just told me her plans openly, which were yardwork and basically 'keeping an eye on email' (which she hasn't done either). Apparently that counts as a work and not vacation day.
    molosmiles
  • @rooonilwaazlib jeez, your aunt sounds like a real pain! You'd think she'd get the hint at this point, but some people can be super dense (or manipulative). 

    It's things like that that make me really just want to quit Facebook already. Too much family drama + older folks sending me random links to not-so-factual news articles

    rooonilwaazlib
  • @merostomata I swear we have the same boss. I think mine has been in the office one half of a Friday all year. It's a joke in the office. I'm so over her and these pregnancy hormones don't help. I barely talk to her anymore. She's told all of us that we chat too much and need to cut back, and now it's like a library in our Hall...unless of course she feels like chatting for 30 minutes about herself or her family. I am now just working while pretending to be engaged. Such a hypocrite.
    merostomata
  • KLS123KLS123
    100 Comments Photogenic Name Dropper
    member
    edited July 2018
    @molosmiles @merostomata my boss goes to seemingly endless amounts of golf tournaments that somehow constitutes "working remotely" so it's not counted as vacation time since there are other industry people there and could be considered "networking". Not to mention the company comped country club membership. Heaven forbid I ask to work work remotely post maternity leave though...


    edited to clarify Golf* tournament, not Gold* tournament lol
    merostomata
  • Eww some of those bosses sound super annoying!

    My rant- it is so so hot here in NYC and I just can't cool down. I grew up in the South without A/C but it would cool down at night. Here it cools down from like 95 to 89 at night. I got so overheated going home on the subway yesterday that the backs of my thighs were dripping sweat down to my feet. This morning I switched from the express to the local train so I wouldn't have to walk as far outside, then the local took 10 minutes to come and then it went express  :#:s I just can't seem to stay hydrated no matter how much I drink and my pee keeps getting bright yellow. 

    I'm 11+ 4 and hoping the 2nd trimester gets easier!

    Me: 32  Husband:  47

    TTC since 7/2015 Severe MFI

    2017 2 Failed IUI's

    2/2018 IVF #1 & PGS

    FET #1 failed

    FET#2 BFP with girl! Est. Due Date: January 17



    merostomatarooonilwaazlib
  • KLS123KLS123
    100 Comments Photogenic Name Dropper
    member
    @greenhillgirl ugh I hear you with the heat. We have breached 100 degrees down here in Texas and I have taken to putting an ice wrap around my neck when I have to get into my car (which is usually like 120 degrees for the first 10 minutes until the AC finally kicks in). Like it's in no way fashionable but very effective. These are similar to the ones I have:
     https://www.amazon.com/COLOR-WINGS-Headband-Bandana-Cooling/dp/B073S6SLV9/ref=sr_1_5?s=sporting-goods&ie=UTF8&qid=1530633223&sr=1-5&keywords=ice+neck+wrap
  • @merostomata Hey, in some countries a company can be fined heavily for contacting employees after hours! No guilt at all about not answering to work when you're off.
    merostomata
  • @molosmiles @KLS123 how do these bosses get away with it?! Ugh! That made me lol about the golf tournaments and company paying the country club membership. Just, how...

    I'm definitely going to propose working 1 day a week from home post maternity leave (one of the days the boss always works at home anyway). Not sure if it'll work, but worth a shot. It feel like it would be hard for our shared 'big boss' to say no if she lets the manager work from home 2-3 days a week just because. Hope you guys get some success too if you decide to ask to work from home too!
    molosmilesKLS123
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