July Randoms

shoretobe

Here we are into July. 

shoretobe

 It’s now been a year since I got pregnant (on July 1 or 2nd) during our second try at IUI. Can’t believe how fast a year has gone and how far away the days of shots and all the appointments seem. At a family party this weekend everyone was asking us if we’re ready to try for #2...

mccurleya

@shoretobe I miss how little he was and want baby #2 already but I know how bad of a choice that is. Haha my 1 year was late June. That was a fast year. 

megpeg

Guys I am going to need you to keep my sanity in the next week and a half. DH and my right hand DS are leaving tomorrow night for Brazil until the 15th. I am going to be left with a five year old that doesn’t listen to me and an almost 4 month old. I know people do this all the time with spouses in the military and stuff but I am not sure how I I am going to handle it all. Pumping has already been a little stressful at times and I am not sure how it will go. We are going to my moms to stay until Sunday this week and then she is coming Tuesday to spend the night and Friday with my nephew to hang out.

shoretobe

We’re here for you. You can do this!!

sgrn18

I'm dreading tomorrow night's fireworks.  Not the ones the city does but the ones people pop in the neighborhood sometimes well past midnight.  I'm turning into the "I'll kill you if you wake up my baby" lady lol and also I want to sleep too. 

megpeg

@sgrn18 that’s currently happening and none of my kids can sleep.

sgrn18

@megpeg ugh!  I just looked up our non emergency police number. I'm armed (with my cell phone)and ready! But seriously why dont people understand it takes a long time to put kids to sleep?!  And then they get that second wind BS lol 

megpeg

Our rules are the weekend before, day before, day of, day after, weekend after until midnight. I finally think all of the kids are sleeping but not sure about DD since she just got up 10 minutes ago because she’s afraid dad and brother are leaving for years.

I am so ready to throat punch DH though. He is being loud packing stuff and doesn’t realize he is slamming cupboards. He also told me he’s going to work out in the morning which will take about 2 hours away from home and more time from the little ones. 
He also just informed me that he gets back the 15th will be gone fishing with the other owners of his office the following weekend. Then in September we are doing a family weekend away Labor Day. He weekend after that he going to races in Ohio, the weekend after he is at a retreat with his office staff and the weekend after is his retreat in Philadelphia with his chiropractic self help group. I want to stab him. Seriously we have three kids. Our oldest is in soccer in the fall and I have a five year old and baby to get around. I am pretty pissed. I love my kids and getting to be a SAHM but seriously? I have zero time to myself. I was going to do a gym membership but I don’t know when I am supposed to have time to use it because I feel uncomfortable leaving Declan with someone I don’t know in a daycare at the gym. 
I said something about needing a spa day the other day and he laughed and said there was not time for that.
i needed to vent and will probably unload this all on him later when he tries to have sex before he leaves. Sorry for the rant, just very stressed and needed to get that out.

sgrn18

@megpeg I want to throat punch him for you.  Does he just not realize how much work it is when it's just you? Not to mention not fair that he gets to go on a bunch of fun trips while you are at home with the kids.  I just have 1 LO and it takes me 1000 years to get anything done,  my house looks like a homeless camp,  and I've literally made frozen pizza for dinner twice this week... and it's tuesday.  You ladies with 2+ are warriors! 

DDRRT1982

So sorry!  That is a lot. My DH is kind of the same way.  Busy, busy, busy, and leaves no time for me.  Then mom guilt kicks in.

fatstagnation

@megpeg I would sit him down with calendar an show him how much he's going to be gone and then ask him to give up something. That is ridiculous! (and then throat punch when he says no.)

We are at my mom's house to visit grandparents and DH and I were saying the other day how nice it is to have a third set of hands! When he leaves me alone with baby it's fine but the full workday is looong. On the nights he goes to darts club I'm exhausted. And there's no way he can make it up, it's not like he can work half a day so I get some time to myself...I can't imagine what it'll be like when we have more than one, but those days are coming. 

ashtuesday

@megpeg I'm with @fatstagnation - sit him down with a calendar and make him actually face the reality. There are so many times I feel like there are obvious imbalances, but my husband genuinely doesn't see them until I point them out. Maybe once your husband looks at the true time he'll be gone, it'll all click!  Hang tough!

ashtuesday

Weird post-pregnancy affliction: I carried Nora high, so I had bad heartburn all the time and just couldn't hold back my burps. She's almost five months old, and I still can't flip the burp switch off - they just erupt out of me!  Help!  I am disgusting!

sgrn18

Speaking of post pregnancy issues, I'm really hoping it's just because its summer, but I sweat all the time. I wake up soaked some nights! 

sgrn18

So the days my husband watches LO, he seems to always have a bad day, like no naps and he cries more often.  I come home and MH looks like he has been through the trial of a lifetime(almost like its exaggerated. sprawled on the couch like he hasn't slept in years or he just did the most intense workout of his life).  I thought it would get better now that MH is learning LOs cues but it's only marginally better at best.

LO is just not like this with me at all. He is needy and wants to be held a lot but he takes decent naps and is overall a good baby.

This is just not facilitating any further bonding between them. 


Sorry for my vent lol I needed to just get that out. 

DDRRT1982

@sgrn18 I have had this issue in the past too.  My husband is just not good with little babies abs they seem more stressed.  While my husband is a great dad he isn’t overly nurturing when they are this young.  I am the exact opposite, so my babies have a little shock when it comes to Dad daycare.  He makes sure that they are safe, fed, and clean, but beyond that he has better things to do than hold the baby all day, I guess.  We have argued about it, but it doesn’t change.  They are cared for, and definitely not in danger, so I have just come to accept our different parenting styles.  I am not having as big of an issue with Samantha because she is so laid back, but I also think my kids are getting older and interact with her when she wants attention.  My five year old will tattle on her dad as well, so I have wondered if that’s helped too, Lol.

becausescience

@sgrn18 Would babywearing help him at all?

sgrn18

@DDRRT1982 MH doesn't like babies.  It took him a year to hold his nephew(and it looked so forced). But in the first few weeks he was so good with LO I guess I thought it'd be different.  And yeah we've had a few arguments already about it some pretty heated.  I know that I will come home to a fed& changed but miserably tired child.   MH says it's because he doesn't have a real nipple to put in his mouth, almost like I cheat because I can feed him with a boob. 

@becausescience that might work. I'll have to convince him to try it.  I have 2 carriers, one is bound to work for him.  

megpeg

DH FaceTimed us tonight. Declan kept reaching for him and looking around the back of the phone for him. It was really hard. DD is five and when we hung up immediately melted into a puddle of tears.

StephBrim24

@megpeg - Loved it in support, not because I think that’s great. I hate it when DH leaves. It’s so hard on our kids, let alone hard for me to keep things going with 3 kids. 
On another note, in the chair getting ready to get cavities filled and left LO with a friend and she’s never successfully taken a bottle. So I’m a bit anxious. Last time I had cavities filled between the teeth, they had to keep giving me more pain meds - the meds weren’t working much - so it took forever. And then I had awful pain for a couple months because the fillings weren’t the right size and they had to keep drilling them down. I’m not looking forward to this. 

mccurleya

I haven't been here in a while due to moving and unpacking but I'm back to vent because OH MY GOSH I am tired of family already (in laws aside because they have been great). They cannot seem to leave the baby alone. Last night we were at a church function and I laid Nate down in the stroller to take a nap when we got there because he was so tired and my husband's grandma immediately tried to take him. I also had just gotten back from my grandma's 4 hours away so my husband hadn't seen Nate all weekend and wanted to see him. But his grandma/grandpa were not having it. They also showed up unannounced while I was gone and when they found out Nate wasn't here they said, "oh well let's go then." To my husband. Like we don't even matter to visit until Nate is around. Nate was so overstimulated it took an hour of him screaming to calm down and finally go to sleep. We are pissed because they just don't listen. We're getting a gate for our yard to lock people out and are setting up boundaries because they keep acting like our opinions and routines don't matter when we're the parents. 

Okay, rant over. Thank you for listening 

ashtuesday

@sgrn18 @DDRRT1982 I hear you both - sometimes you do just have to embrace having different parenting styles.  My husband is actually very good and intuitive with Nora (that sounds like a complete backdoor brag when that is not at all how I mean it), but he has no URGENCY when it comes to her cues.  He is notoriously bad at all things future-planning, but it drives me nuts: you know she's hungry, feed her a damn bottle before she gets herself worked up!  There's such a thin line between "let him deal with it on his own, he'll figure it out and no real harm is being done" and "give me my baby because I can't stand to see her get upset."

@megpeg I hope things are going okay so far with your husband being gone!  You will make it!

@mccurleya Ohhhh I feel you.  My husband's family is all over N too.  I feel guilty because they see her so rarely, but when the poor kid gets no sleep with them, it drives me nuts!

ashtuesday

Oh!  Also!  Anyone have any opinions on jumperoos?  I know they say having babies on the floor or in a pack n' play is really what's best for them, but I just had knee surgery that makes getting down to and up from the floor hard for me - I do what I can, but I need N to be elevated more of the time.  Nora has taken to kicking all over the place to bounce herself in her swing, so a jumperoo seems like a great fit for her - I'm just curious what everyone else thinks of them!

ashtuesday

Well, after posting that, I sat down and did some real research and I guess we won't be getting a dang Jumperoo.

DDRRT1982

I have never heard this about jumperoos.  All my kids (except 15 year old) used one and loves it.  I can’t wait for Sam to really start playing.

sgrn18

@mccurleya good for you guys setting up boundaries!  My family is all "gimmie gimmie" when the baby is around. Half the time it's like I only exist as LOs means of transportation. 

I still haven't taken LO to church yet. To be fair, half of the sundays I was even up for it I was at clinical and the first few weeks I was a zombie.  

@ashtuesday I have a jumper in the living room but we hadnt really used it yet.  LO wont even let me put him in it without screaming though. I didnt even know there were issues with them 

megpeg

We have been using the jumperoo in our cycle of toys. Swing, floor, sit me up chair, and jumperoo. He is only in it for 5-10 minutes at a time and usually because my arms are breaking from holding him up. He loves playing with the toys on it.

ashtuesday

I know (mostly) everything's fine in moderation, but I keep reading that jumpers could negatively impact foot/leg/hip development. N already has issues with the way her feet turn out that I don't want to exacerbate ☹️

shoretobe

@ashtuesday what about an exersaurcer - our friend gifted us one that she can spin herself around in a circle to play with different toys. She’s not at the point where she can spin herself but she likes playing with the toys in fromt of her. (I haven’t read/researched if they are bad for legs/hips though) 
@StephBrim24 I agree about using the “love it” to show support. Sometimes I don’t have any words to help but I want the mommas to know they’ve been heard and have support. 
@megpeg - thinking of you and hope you’re doing ok. It’s so hard being on 24/7 and only getting a break if the LOs are sleeping and even then that’s not really a break. 
@mccurleya - that’s so frustrating. I feel like I’m overthinking every decision I make and when I feel like people question or judge what I’m choosing it just overwhelms me. I cried for like an hour Saturday night because of it. I think it’s great you’re standing up for what you want for your LO and that you and Your husband are on the same page to move forward how you want. 

mccurleya

@ashtuesday We use a jumparoo and Nate LOVES it. He's happiest playing with that when I can't hold him anymore. 

And yeah, when she started hovering over me while I was feeding him I met my breaking point. We are so fed up. They won't let us be the parents and showing up unannounced is a no go for us. We want our privacy and to be with our little family by ourselves sometimes. And they have no personal boundaries. We priced gates and fence posts today. 

slr1229

Love our jumperoo

mmom3

Hiiiii Mamas!  I’ve been gone due to a personal situation and we’ve been at our place up north with no internet reception, but wanted to say I’ve missed you.  We travel there quite bit over July-beginning of August.  The kids and I love it and I love spending quality time away from screens and obligations at home.

1 year ago today I found out I was pregnant, so it’s been an emotional day. This year flew by and it makes me sad how quickly it went.  I would love to be able to relive it especially thinking this guy is probably our last.  I just want to hold on to every stage a little longer and really soak it in.  Anyone else feeling sad about this?  

megpeg

@mmom3 very sad. I am having a really hard time thinking this could be it. DH has a vasectomy consult next week and I am dreading it. I really want four and he wanted to stop at 2. 

mmom3

@megpeg  - DH wanted to stop at two as wellnand I wanted 3. Well, Charlie was the perfect surprise anniversary present last year (our anniversary is July 11 and found out July 9th). DH was going to schedule his consult after DS #1 and I fought hard against it thankfully because now we have the sweetest little guy.   Hopefully your DH doesn’t go through with it at this time until you guys are in agreement.  It’s so hard to imagine this is this last time for all these firsts. 

DDRRT1982

Ya, we vote no to the vasectomy.  

megpeg

I am so exhausted. A five year old that is testing everything is tiring by itself but adding trying to pump and take care of a four month old and having construction going on(new windows and doors) and no relief at the end of the day with having daddy show up. So tired. Sunday cannot get here soon enough.

mmom3

Sorry @megpeg - hoping the days fly by.  Is your Mom coming soon?  

megpeg

@mmom3 she was here Monday and will be back Friday. Construction should be done today so that will help and my sister is coming over for a bit today.
someone from our group fell off a roof yesterday in Brazil. My husband sent me a picture of the rickety wooden ladder he is taking up and down from the third story roof and it’s scary. Today they were supposed to be moving a 1,000 liter bucket that holds the water for the daycare to the roof. 

shoretobe

Thinking of you @megpeg hope today went well and safely for DH and the visit with your sister was good. 

knutty3

Oh, the giggles from our boys are soooo cute!! All smiles and giggles, although the pouts are adorable too!! ♥️♥️