Ask a STM w/o 6/30

sweetyjenj

I keep looking for a STM thread, and don't usually see one, so thought to start one

As a STM, my advice is TAKE ADVANTAGE of these posts! These were the most helpful threads when I was on the J17 board as a FTM!

ETA: Ask away! Ask anything! Those who can answer questions, answer:)

kns1988

Does anyone have a lightweight double stroller that they like? I don't have a large trunk in my car, and my price point is preferably under $200. 

UnbreakableKimmySchmidt

Question for STM+ -- how long did you have help after coming home with baby #2? I'm a SAHM and DH has 2 weeks of paternity leave.  We just started talking about how much help I'll need-- if we need to call in the grandparents?? I figure the more help the better!  I am aware it will also depend on my recovery from the birth, etc.  Just trying to figure out when I'll be able to manage two on my own (DD1 will be almost 3 when baby arrives). 

kmvisioli

kns1988 said:

Does anyone have a lightweight double stroller that they like? I don't have a large trunk in my car, and my price point is preferably under $200. 

I have the Baby Jogger City Select as my "big" double stroller, but honestly use my Delta Children's LX Double Umbrella more often now that my guys are over a year. It's compact and lightweight, fits through a door, and has a bit of storage (and it's currently on sale on Amazon for $85!). If I had a more money for it, I would have preferred the Maclaren double umbrella because it steers a bit nicer and has more storage and better canopy cover, but it's more like $300.

kns1988

@kmvisioli Is the baby jogger one of the ones that can be configured in like 16 different ways? That one is intense! 

kmvisioli

kns1988 said:

@kmvisioli Is the baby jogger one of the ones that can be configured in like 16 different ways? That one is intense! 

@kns1988 yes, it can have two car seat adaptors, two big kid seats in various positions, or one of each, and even a glider board attachment. I needed one that could accommodate two infant seats last time, so it was a worthwhile investment for us. I'll probably go back to that one with the glider board once this baby comes along so I can contain as many kids as possible, lol 

sweetyjenj

@UnbreakableKimmySchmidt I had only DH for the first 2 weeks, then I was on my own. A friend of mine came over almost every Friday around 12-5, and I LOOKED FORWARD to those days! It was delightful to have a second set of hands, and she was such a help or even just hung out if there was nothing really to do. I was nervous when DH went back to work, but you get a good routine down those first few weeks and it's surprising how quick you get in the swing of things (though "routines" switch pretty quick as they grow fast). It also will depend on your labor/delivery. I was up on my feet walking around while still in the hospital, but who knows this time around. If I have a c-section or if I tear really bad I might have a harder time.

UnbreakableKimmySchmidt

@sweetyjenj I just worry about keeping my almost 3yo alive when it’s just me, her and baby!  We are used to being on the go so it will be a big change for her—at least for the first month or so.

sweetyjenj

@UnbreakableKimmySchmidt Yeah, adding in another toddler does get more complicated. Are you a SAHM or do you have daycare? We have daycare and plan to keep DD in daycare while I'm home.

UnbreakableKimmySchmidt

@sweetyjenj I’m a SAHM, I wish I could send her to daycare during that time! Haha! I’m sure we will have some help from family here and I’m hoping L&D goes smoothly so my recovery is fast. I am not excited to be cooped up in January so I know I’ll want to be out and about as soon as I’m physically able. I just remember the newborn haze and preparing meals, helping a toddler potty and all the other stuff seems overwhelming!

sweetyjenj

@UnbreakableKimmySchmidt for my first I was glad that it was January when she was born lol I didn't want to go anywhere anyway, so I was glad I wasn't wasting away a summer. You're in MN, too, right? I didn't want to take DD to many public places because of flu season, so I was glad that her first months were in the winter and I coudld just be cooped up inside and not wish I was outside doing summer activities. Also, by the time summer DID finally come, she was old enough to lay on a blanket in the grass and move around and seemed to enjoy it herself.
Though...being cooped up in January with a newborn is NOT like being cooped up with an active 3 year old AND a newborn, so I can see why you're trying to figure out a plan!

MrsPyrowiz

@UnbreakableKimmySchmidt I had my husband for a week.  I was a sahm from the time my son was born until my daughter was 8 months (this passed March), so I was on my own after he went back.  It was good, I felt more human after I had my daughter than I had with my first.  I had to have my son climb up into the car that second week because lifting him was still a struggle, but otherwise it was pretty easy.  My biggest advice: pre prep meals so food can be quick, especially when your husband is gone during the day.  

The other thing that was easier for us was being out. From what I've been told, most people don't feel this way, but my son was more well bahaved and easier to manage when we went places (he still is) so we spent A LOT of time at target or visiting with friends and family until my daughter was probably 4-6 weeks and we got our rhythm down.

pttomato

@MrsPyrowiz That’s good to hear. My daughter is currently much easier to handle (and sleeps better) if we get out every day so I’m really worried about being stuck at home with her and a baby.

MrsPyrowiz

@pttomato finding your new groove is really the hardest part.  Because your older child has to find a new groove too.  It's stressful for us as parents so it's hard to remember some times how absolutely life changing this is for the littles who aren't used sharing mommy and daddy.  My son didnt have a lot of jealousy, he always adored his sister, but he struggled a lot with other things like sleeping.  He dropped his nap and stopped sleeping in his bed.  It was rough for a bit.  But it passes, and it gets easier.

I'm somehow less stressed about having an almost 3.5yo, 17mo, and a newborn than I was about having a 22mo and a newborn.  Lol definitely partly because my son can entertain his sister really easily and he'll be in preschool two days a week too, so we'll have two days a week with just the little toddler and the baby.

rooonilwaazlib

To the STMs, I've read so much and heard things from different medical professionals about when you can start going out with a newborn in tow. So...how soon did you venture out to the store, to the aquarium, to anywhere with your newborn? I know this is an "ask your pediatrician/doctor" question but I'm really just looking for the varying answers from other mamas. 

libertymomrn

Baby wearing is a must, IMO, especially when the baby is still really little. People love babies and are much more likely to just reach in a touch your baby without asking when they’re being totes around in a car seat than when they’re snuggled into Mom’s chest in a baby carrier. Maybe it’s the nurse germ-a-phobe in me, but I am NOT okay with strangers touching my baby’s hands or face, or really any part of them. Especially those first few months. I don’t know where their hands have been, or if they’ve been sick recently, or anything. So I wear my babies for as long as the baby likes it. My son only tolerated baby-wearing for a few months before he wants more wiglle room and such. My daughter liked it for much longer, and my 3 year old still likes it.

kmvisioli

rooonilwaazlib said:

To the STMs, I've read so much and heard things from different medical professionals about when you can start going out with a newborn in tow. So...how soon did you venture out to the store, to the aquarium, to anywhere with your newborn? I know this is an "ask your pediatrician/doctor" question but I'm really just looking for the varying answers from other mamas. 

I kind of think this varies more by personal preference, time of year (flu season), and health of baby more than the doctor's opinion. If you have a perfectly healthy baby, going somewhere low-key like a relative or friend's house during a season when not everyone is extra germy, I think you can get out as early as you want. We did church (small congregation) at 1-2 weeks old, but I would not go somewhere crowded and full of total strangers until later. I agree with either wearing your baby, or using a car seat canopy so people are less inclined to reach in or touch baby.

merostomata

Thank you for starting the thread!

@sweetyjenj and other STMs, are there any weird or little-known products that were really helpful for you to have for your baby, for breastfeeding, for yourself, etc? For example, a friend recommended those odd NoseFrida suction things as a gamechanger- definitely not something I'd have thought of otherwise! I'm just starting to put a loose registry together (I know, super early) so was wondering.

kmvisioli

@merostomata my most-loved, most-used list: baby k'tan for the first couple of months then Beco Gemini carrier (I suggest going to a store where you can try on a few and find which one you love), diaper changing clutch, forehead thermometer, bamboobies nursing pads, Covered Goods nursing cover (doubles as a car seat or high chair cover). My "must have" list is honestly pretty short, because there just isn't that much that is a true NEED or that is guaranteed to be right for every family.

I also found it really helpful to have some freezer meals and lactation cookies stocked up, and stocked up on easy one-hand snacks/breakfasts like oatmeal cups, granola bars, trail mix, frozen breakfast sandwiches, etc. for those early weeks of nursing and exhaustion. Ohhh and if you're planning a vaginal delivery, make a supply of padcicles in advance to store in your freezer....just go find that one on Pinterest.

kns1988

rooonilwaazlib said:

To the STMs, I've read so much and heard things from different medical professionals about when you can start going out with a newborn in tow. So...how soon did you venture out to the store, to the aquarium, to anywhere with your newborn? I know this is an "ask your pediatrician/doctor" question but I'm really just looking for the varying answers from other mamas. 

Last time, I wasn't in flu season, so we went out right away to places like a family picnic and the grocery store. He was a preterm baby, so I was pretty cautious about him being exposed to things. I always wore him when I was out so that no one could get their germy hands on him. I made exceptions for family. The thing that drove me crazy was when strangers would literally pull my sling down so that they could touch his face!! Who does that?!

This time, LO will be exposed to tons of germs from his/her germy toddler brother, but I'll still probably be careful about going out and about until the first rounds of shots. 

kns1988

merostomata I recommend the Brica fold 'n go travel bassinet to everyone. It was essential for travel and safe sleep, and it's only $35. He fit in it until about 5 months old, and it was so, so helpful for being out and about and having a safe, lightweight place to put him. I also loved our Halo sleep swaddles, and now that he's older, we love the Lotus travel crib (bit of a splurge).

Oddly enough, we found that cheapie $10-15 umbrella strollers are great when baby gets bigger (around 9 months). It made life so much easier than lugging around our heavy jogging stroller all the time. 

pttomato

@roonilwazlib We started going out with DD after the first week because I was getting stir-crazy sitting at home. But it was August, so not flu season.

molosmiles

A weird 'must have' on my list is the Freida Windi . They are so strange to use the first time. It is this little tube and you use it to relieve gas from your little ones bum. I wish they were around with my first, she was so gassy and uncomfortable. It truly was a lifesaver on those gassy nights and they work like a charm.

UnbreakableKimmySchmidt

@sweetyjenj yes, I’m in Minn too, worried about the flu season already! DD always seems to have colds all winter so not excited for her to share her germs with the baby! Will def be limiting ppl holding/touching the baby. 

@rooonilwaazlib DD1 was born in April and we were out taking walks with her a few days after we got home. The first month we stuck close to home. I would just be cautious and wash hands often. 

@merostomata Nipple cream is great to have on hand, stock up on nursing camisoles for yourself (I lived in those with DD). 

MrsPyrowiz

@rooonilwaazlib my son we didn't leave the house for 2 weeks because I wasn't prepared to go anywhere.  I had a rough time with recovery after him.  With my daughter i barely felt like I even gave birth, we went out to eat and grocery shopping the day after we got home from the hospital and were out most days following.  It was also July though.  I expect we'll be home for at least 2 weeks with this one because it'll be January and we live in Michigan.  So it'll be cold out and obviously flu season. 

sweetyjenj

@rooonilwaazlib I don't remember really going anywhere with DD until she was about a month old, even then we were really selective and she stayed in the carseat (infant carrier) until 3 months (for us, 3 months was end of April). We were extra careful between 1-3 months more because it was still flu season in Minnesota. When we brought her to the store there were some people who....for whatever reason....wanted to lean in and touch her. WHY? I always spoke up and nicely told them not to touch her.

sweetyjenj

@merostomata my breastfeeding MUST-HAVE is the haakaa (mine is actually an off-brand). I got it on Amazon. Another mom in my last BMB shared this, then like half the group ended up getting one after people were posting results with it. I would collect like 2-4oz of breastmilk from the boob DD wasn't nursing from at the moment. After each nursing session I would end up with a bottle of milk to freeze for later. Doctor said this was even tricking my body to think I'm nursing twins, which gave me a GREAT supply. I knew once I went back to work that my supply would likely decrease from pumping more than nursing, so I wanted to go into it with a good supply.
It ALSO made breastfeeding WAY more comfortable, because she wouldn't nurse from both sides most of the time before being done, so then the Haakaa was able to get milk from the side she didn't nurse from and my boobs wouldn't explode.

https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_1_5?url=search-alias=aps&field-keywords=haakaa&sprefix=haaka,aps,266&crid=1T8B94GUHDS3R

I seriously can't recommend this product enough, and I buy it for every baby shower I go to or as a gift when friends/family have new babies.

Also, DD had horrible gas pains the first 3 months. We tried massaging her tummy, peddling her legs, and gas drops. Nothing worked nearly as well or as fast as Gripe Water. I wish we started with Gripe Water from the start, but it's roughly $10/bottle compared to $5/bottle for gas drops, so I hesitated. It was the only thing that made DD settle. Also, we used the Windii like @molosmiles suggested, and that worked!

For breastfeeding and keeping up a good supply, I suggest Brewers Yeast powder. I noticed, for me, the powder worked much better than tablets. I added this in my morning smoothie every day and kept up great milk supply. It doesn't take good just mixed with water or milk, so the smoothies helped. Google it, it's known as a supplement for lactation, and it's the secret ingredient in lactation cookies.

For sleeping, we put DD in the Rock N Play until she was about 4 months old, then we moved her to the Pack N Play still in our room. We kept the Rock N Play next to the bed, so I heard every noise and woke up to feed her right away and put her back in. DD spit up ALL.THE.TIME. so the incline was needed, otherwise she started choking, which was terrifying to me.

merostomata

@kmvisioli @kns1988 @molosmiles @UnbreakableKimmySchmidt @sweetyjenj Thank you all SO MUCH for these great tips! I have written them all down and will look into them further. I came across a few of the  products you mentioned yesterday by chance and thought they were interesting but wasn't sure (the haakaa, Wiindi, and various carriers) so that's great you've had positive experiences with them. 

Also I'm embarrassed to admit I hadn't heard of padcicles or lactation cookies, so thank you for that as well! 

saltedcaramel518

+1 for the Windi and Gripe water. DS was so gassy, and these helped. 

Something I loved was the Boppy lounger pillow (it’s not the nursing pillow). It was just a spot for the baby to hang out and it was easy to move from room to room. DS always enjoyed being in it and would occasionally take supervised naps in it. 

MrsDho11

rooonilwaazlib said:

To the STMs, I've read so much and heard things from different medical professionals about when you can start going out with a newborn in tow. So...how soon did you venture out to the store, to the aquarium, to anywhere with your newborn? I know this is an "ask your pediatrician/doctor" question but I'm really just looking for the varying answers from other mamas. 

I was out with DD within the first week. I think she was maybe 4 or 5 days old? I just wore her in a wrap at the grocery store. Honestly, I needed to do it just to know that I could and to not feel stuck at home, you know? The only thing our pediatrician really seemed to care about was that she didn't think we should fly before DD had her first round of vaccines at 8 weeks if we could avoid it. (Christmas was 5 or 6 weeks or so PP, so we drove instead of flying.)

ETA: She was born toward the end of November, so flu season was just getting going, I feel like?

MrsDho11

molosmiles said:

A weird 'must have' on my list is the Freida Windi . They are so strange to use the first time. It is this little tube and you use it to relieve gas from your little ones bum. I wish they were around with my first, she was so gassy and uncomfortable. It truly was a lifesaver on those gassy nights and they work like a charm.

THESE ARE SERIOUSLY THE BEST!

MrsDho11

And now to be a little contrary...
It's probably worth making a few padcicles, but don't go absolutely nuts. I did and then I couldn't fucking stand them and didn't end up using them. I was all about dermoplast and Tucks pads.

The hakaa didn't work for me AT ALL. I think my boob was just shaped wrong or something. *shrug* That said, they're cheap and awesome if they do work, so I'd still get one and try it out. But just don't put all your hopes on it being this totally amazing thing that will make your life a million times better because you'll be disappointed if it doesn't. (Not that I'm speaking from experience or anything )

kmvisioli

MrsDho11 said:

And now to be a little contrary...
It's probably worth making a few padcicles, but don't go absolutely nuts. I did and then I couldn't fucking stand them and didn't end up using them. I was all about dermoplast and Tucks pads.

Yeah, I agree that making a few is the way to go, but not a freezer full. I liked mine more if I pulled it out of the freezer a couple minutes before using so it wasn't so cold. I probably did use the Tucks and spray more overall, but the padcicles were nice every so often as well.

libertymomrn

Adding witch hazel to the padcicles made them work much better for me.

But I also second the dermaplast. And take the peri-cleanse bottle home with you if you do a hospital birth. (Or ask your homebirth or birthing center midwife about getting one; mine provides one.) It’s much better to clean with that after peeing and after having BMs than trying to wipe clean those tender areas with toilet paper. 

pttomato

MrsDho11 said:

And now to be a little contrary...
It's probably worth making a few padcicles, but don't go absolutely nuts. I did and then I couldn't fucking stand them and didn't end up using them. I was all about dermoplast and Tucks pads.

Agreed. I did like them, but I ended up not needing that many and had a bunch of leftovers.

sweetyjenj

I made a few padcicles and didn't use them at all. In the hospital the nurses used a few newborn size pampers diapers and filled them with crushed ice. I slipped those in the giant mesh underwear you get from the hospital..that worked well and didn't have to use my own resources and effortless, and didn't waste anything because I only made one when I needed it. I only needed those for a few days, then I just used tucks pads (hospital gave me a whole container when I asked for a few to use, so I ended up not needing to buy any) and this Angel spray with witch hazel.

MrsPyrowiz

sweetyjenj said:

I made a few padcicles and didn't use them at all. In the hospital the nurses used a few newborn size pampers diapers and filled them with crushed ice. I slipped those in the giant mesh underwear you get from the hospital..that worked well and didn't have to use my own resources and effortless, and didn't waste anything because I only made one when I needed it. I only needed those for a few days, then I just used tucks pads (hospital gave me a whole container when I asked for a few to use, so I ended up not needing to buy any) and this Angel spray with witch hazel.

Diaper ice packs were life after my first!  He was giant (over 9lbs and his head was 100th percentile) and sunny side up.  I was so bruised and swollen.  The diaper ice packs were the only reason I could even walk for like three days.

kns1988

I never heard of padcicles or diaper ice packs, but the witch hazel pads from the hospital were LIFE. So refreshing. I used them for at least 2 weeks, maybe longer. 

UnbreakableKimmySchmidt

I didn’t do any ice at all, even in the hospital, which maybe isn’t the norm?? I only pushed a handful of times but I did tear and had stitches. I soaked in a warm bath when I got home and that really helped. 

kmos816

DD was born at the end of April and we left the house on walks within a week or so. I think I first took her out in public with her at about 2 or 3 weeks? Just to the store, out to eat, things like that.  With this one being born the end of January not sure I'll go out with her that early since it will be super cold outside, but I'll need to get out of the house at some point so we'll see!!!

saltedcaramel518

The hakaa didn’t work well for me either, but I didn’t get one until DS was maybe 5-6 months old, so it could have been because my supply was already established. It may have helped if I had been using it from the beginning. I was also a weird breastfeeding unicorn in that I never once leaked.

Something else I though of.. a white noise machine. When babies are in your womb, it’s actually loud in there (hey, intestines!), so white noise should be comforting to them once they’re out.

I highly recommend the Dohm white noise machine. It’s pricier than most (~$50), but it has a fan that produces real white noise vs a manufactured sound. I initially used an old iPhone with a white noise app, but I started hearing weird things like voices when it was playing.