UO Thursday (6/28)

mytrueloves

nasalot188

My UO - I really hate rap music. DH loves it. Makes car rides a negotiation LOL

*Side note somewhat related - DH and I started watching Unsolved on Netflix last night. It's really good so far if anyone is interested. All about the murders of Tupac and Biggie and the theory that the LAPD were involved.

sammierose464

I'm not a fan of rap either. I don't mind Eminem in small doses (I am from Detroit). However, DH listens to "hick-hop" which some of it is like country rap and I hate it.

nugget2ehf

Same, husband and I have totally different music tastes. Rap vs country/90s/anything other than rap. And what is most annoying is that he has to be playing something ALL.THE.TIME. Like, just walking out to the mailbox or going to basement to get laundry or taking a shower, he'll have to play something. I prefer not to shower with him anymore because I'd rather shower in silence.

knottieamusements

I’m with you all on rap and hick-hop. (Especially the hick-hop.)  I listen to R&B, and some Hip-Hop, but there is definitely a place where things go from lyrical to grating for me.  

krzyriver

I love all music. We mostly listen to Reggaeton and Country. We embraced both our Mexican side and our white side. Lol. I like some rap but I’m picky, same with R&B

ninji15

I have to say I really dislike rap and pretty much all country as well. DH loves rap though also so it is a struggle on car rides sometimes haha

ninji15

My UO is it shouldn't matter when you come into work if your job is not time sensitive as long as you stay over or make it up elsewhere and get your job done.

Slight back story to this: I work at a super relaxed environment in IT and I come in 20 minutes "late" every day. I take a half hour lunch instead of an hour and leave accordingly. I get all my stuff done but my supervisor who is the only one that cares to come in on time in this department says I set a bad example and my husband should be more helpful which royally pissed me off for the rest of the day. He may come in on time too but he leaves an hour early not making the full shift anyway. The CEO of my department doesn't come in until 10, the other supervisors come in at 9:30. My coworkers are hit and miss some early, some on time, and some late. On top of that I almost always am the one coming in on the weekends when something happens even though I live a half hour away. Seriously GTFO. 

chopchop25

@ninji15 ugh I cannot imagine working somewhere that people are a stickler for arrival and departure time. We have some departments here where it matters (like if we're launching a shoe that morning and you're supporting the launch, you better be there), but I can't tell you where 3/4 of my team is this morning and no one cares.

HoosOnFirst

My company cares about your production, not your time in and time out. That's why it works well for parents - we can flex time and make it up later in the same week. The only thing is that your team should know your schedule so that we can plan meetings, etc. So you can't just come in whenever you want, but whatever works for you and your supervisors and allows you to be present and get your job done.

krzyriver

@ninji15 I wish I could work like that. I've always worked jobs where the clock matters either because you're working shifts with your coworkers or because clients have appointments. I'd rather come or go as I please and just take a shorter lunch. As a manager, I wouldn't care what your timecard looked like as long as the work was done.

mytrueloves

Most of DF's managers don't care about time in / time out but there is one lady who is super annoying and gets angry if they leave even 1 minute before their full 9 hours. It doesn't make any sense because 1) they're salary and 2) DF just sits at work for an hour every day doing nothing because all of his work is done and there's literally nothing left to do. She's a bitch about the time because she works the maximum she's allowed to work every day and wants everyone to do the same. But she CHOSE that work schedule and takes it out on everyone else.

cjx95

After yesterday's conversation I guess my UO is that I'm gonna be irritated if people buy way off my registry. I put a lot of work into looking through countless brands, and these threads of product spotlights, and a lot of research on stuff so I could choose the cribs I want, the car seat I think is best, etc. For people to say screw that I'll buy this instead is really rude in my opinion. Ignoring the registry completely or buying different brands off it puts my effort in the trash. 
The only exception to this is family or friends who make baby blankets or something along those lines.

kiwi2628

@mamabearcj I am with you. I made the registry for things I want and need and in brands I want. If you go off registry a) thats you saying you think you know better and b) it runs the risk of me getting doubles of things or things I dont find useful or wont work in my house

chopchop25

I'm with you @mamabearcj. One of my mom's friends asked about a picture of one of our dogs for something she's working on... I don't need something with a picture of my dog on it but I did spend a crap ton of time figuring out what I DO need.

SawyerRichardson

@mamabearcj I'm with you on that. I've done too much research on what I want to have you go rogue and get something completely different. 
With DD my MIL texted me a link to a random convertible car seat she wanted to get me, even though I clearly had an infant seat on my registry. That's completely different and when it comes to safety stuff I'm only going to use what I'm comfortable with.
As far as clothing and things like that, cool, get what you want. But the big things I think should be what's on the registry.

KFrob

@mamabearcj I agree!

rc-cola

I totally agree with everyone re: start and end time not being what’s important as long as you get your work done.  Although I will throw out the downside to things being too open ended. We have unlimited vacation at my job and no one clocks in and out in a real way. But the result of that is actually that we all work way more hours than normal and no one is really tracking it. That definitely comes with the profession along with an extremely high burn out rate. I’m a supervisor and have been an attorney for 6 years and have learned how to practice self care, but the newer staff attorneys are too afraid to take real vacation and leave at a reasonable hour.

I usually work from 9:30-7 and then go home and make dinner and work another 1-2 hours.  Some of the newer staff don’t leave the office until 9 or 10 and they are often here before me. At least if we had more structured time they might have to show that they can’t do their work in the work day and demonstrate that additional support is needed.

cjx95

Exactly!! My in-laws have continued to tell me how much stuff they've bought so far and there has been 2 things taken off my registry. So if they're buying big items off it I could get doubles, or they're buying a bunch of small stuff that I don't want or need right now.. 

pajamstagrams

+1 to hating rap and country

I also hate The Beatles. Not a fan. Blegh.

@mamabearcj agree. If you buy me something not on the registry, it's probably going to be returned. I'm very particular about the brands I want, and there's probably a reason I've selected them, and most are due to a personal preference for my child's well being. Example, I don't like plastic things for food/drink. Glass/silicone/stainless all the way. I'm going to try glass bottles, provided my daycare doesn't have a rule against it. It's not like an infant is going to hold up their bottle lol.

krzyriver

@mamabearcj Agree. I made my registry for a reason. With Z, my MIL purposely wanted to go off registry, but then kept calling H to ask what we needed. He kept telling her to check the registry, but she said she wanted to get us something not on our registry. What??? That IS what we need. In the end she bought something off registry that we actually ended up loving, Z loves, and it worked out cause we never would've bought it for ourselves. But I was annoyed at the time.

nugget2ehf

RE registry: I barely got anything bought off my wedding registry, and I was super annoyed about it. Granted a lot of those things I don't actually NEED, but don't get me random stuff. For my baby registry I know I super over-registered, but I'd still rather people buy off there and I can return it (if you don't buy off the registry and don't give me the gift receipt I can't always return it easily!). Just do this one simple thing I ask, people. My husband's family is terrible about this....

RE work time: I'm a firm believer that if you're salary and get things done, then it shouldn't matter. My boss is super chill about everything, and honestly, I probably don't actually work 40 hours a week most weeks (I'm on here most of the time). But we still have to track our time for billing and tracking purposes for which projects we work on. There are days that I legit have nothing to work on, and I just sit here and have to fudge my hours on my time sheet anyway. And most of the time, I could probably leave, but I feel way too guilty about it because I'm a rule follower (except the part where I'm not actually working all the time when I am here, but who actually is?).

mytrueloves

There's a reason I picked those specific brands that are listed on my registry and maybe it might not be obvious why I picked them but there's a REASON. When I was pregnant with ODD, I put a specific brand of diapers on my registry. My mother bought Luvs instead because "you'll learn real quick that these are the best and they're cheap". Okay but I picked the brand that was on my registry because they're more Eco friendly and that's important to me. She got it in her head that I had picked the others because they were fancy and that she knew better what I would end up using. I'm still pissy about it. I HATE when people assume they know better than you and it's never more obvious when they intentionally buy something different than the registry.

purplegoldfish2

@mamabearcj In general I agree, but for all the FTMs, be open to things people buy off registry.  I had a diaper bag on my registry that I had researched and chose based on other twin mom’s experiences. I got that one and two smaller diaper bags as well.  We used the big one at first, but I kept the other two and ended up using them way more than the big one (we still use them as overnight bags for my boys).  Not everything will work out like that, but sometimes the off-registry things are better than what you registered for (and you may not realize it at first). After all, if you’ve never done this before you have no idea what you will like.  A friend also made me about 20 oversized receiving blankets.  I thought it was nice, but also a little ridiculous, they were huge and there were so many of them.  We ended up using every single one of them a lot more than the few smaller store bought ones we registered for. My boys are 5 and they still use those blankets sometimes.

Now things like what happened to @mytrueloves with the diapers are just annoying.  You can generally tell if somebody is doing it to be nice or because “I know better than you.”  Also, Luvs gave both of my kids horrible diaper rashes so I find it a little funny that your mom said they were the best and you would learn... nope, they’re some of the cheaper diapers available so if they work for you great, but if they don’t, they’re pretty much useless.

ETA: wedding registries are completely different - I despise people buying off registry for weddings. We got some pretty dumb gifts, including a broken wreath given to us in a clearly used, ripped gift bag with pen scribbles all over it. Just don’t get me a gift at that point.

krzyriver

@mytrueloves This just happened to me. Second child, don't even need a registry, only have one to keep organized and in case people ask. Someone did and I sent her the link. I had Pampers on there. That's all I ever used with Z. When he was little, he was crazy sensitive to a wet diaper and everything else bothered him. As he gets bigger, he pees SO much and he's got nowhere else to go size-wise, so I need the best to avoid leaks. I've never had a blowout. Never had leaks except when I held off sizing up. Someone just bought me Huggies. "They're great, it's all I ever used. I can't believe you use Pampers. You'll love these." I'm a STM, don't patronize me. I realize Pampers might not work for the next one, but I'm going to start with what I know. Why would I switch without a reason?

sliztee

"I can't believe you use Pampers."

I can feel the rage burning inside me.

chopchop25

What's wrong with Pampers?

sliztee

Nothing is wrong with Pampers. Plenty is wrong with people.  @chopchop25

krzyriver

@chopchop25 Pamper is the shiz. Especially with Amazon's subscribe and save.

ladyofarlington

Re registries: I am tempted to keep my registry empty and “register” for cash and gift cards only. That way I can buy stuff for my kid that I actually want. 

Perhaps that is more of a FFFC than a UO, but whatevs. 

UO related: I have absolutely 0 guilt about returning things not from a registry (unless I like them, of course). Something sweet and random from my great Aunt Sue? Ah, wonderful, yes I’ll take the return $ or store credit on that! 

kiwi2628

@ladyofarlington except what if they buy the thing at some local store thats like 45 minutes from where you live and then its a PITA.  That is my annoyance

krzyriver

@ladyofarlington I returned stuff that I had on my registry that I changed my mind about after people had already bought them. Oh well.

ladyofarlington

kiwi2628 said:

@ladyofarlington except what if they buy the thing at some local store thats like 45 minutes from where you live and then its a PITA.  That is my annoyance

Touché! Hopefully they have an option where you can return it by mail! Ugh, that would annoy me too! 

pumpkinpancake

jemmerjams said:

@mamabearcj agree. If you buy me something not on the registry, it's probably going to be returned. I'm very particular about the brands I want, and there's probably a reason I've selected them, and most are due to a personal preference for my child's well being. Example, I don't like plastic things for food/drink. Glass/silicone/stainless all the way. I'm going to try glass bottles, provided my daycare doesn't have a rule against it. It's not like an infant is going to hold up their bottle lol.

@jemmerjams this ^! When I had my registry the first time around, I had picked specific brands because I am particular about these things, and didn’t want people to waste their money on things I wouldn’t use. On the topic of glass bottles, I had registered for (and gotten DS used to) these awesome life factory glass bottles, but when he went to start daycare, they wouldn’t let us use them anymore. Klean kanteen makes an awesome stainless steel bottle, though somewhat expensive, so that’s what we ended up going with for daycare. 

sunnyknightsarah

@jemmerjams My UO is that I also don't like the Beatles. I just find them meh and overrated. :waiting for everyone to loathe us haha:

@ninji15 @HoosonFirst @chopchop25 and everyone else: +1 to the start time/working hours. I have been at my company for almost 10 years and they offer flex time, where you come in anytime you want, work your hours, and go home. And if you need to leave for an appointment one day or something, you can just come in early or stay late to make up that time another day (within the same week). It's awesome and I honestly don't know how I would be able to adjust to a job with a strict start time after being so used to this schedule.

sunnyknightsarah

@slitzee If someone said "I can't believe you use pampers" to me, I'm pretty sure I'd feign horror, say "I had no idea it was such an issue for you!" and take it off my kid immediately and throw it at them. haha

sunnyknightsarah

Re: registry. I certainly love homemade items, and I would love if some of my mom friends got me additional things they love that I didn't put on the registry (like one new mom friend who gives nursing supplies bc no one in our friend group buys that stuff and she wants to share her favorite creams and such).

However, I agree that if I research products and register for a specific car seat or something, it's rude to decide you "don't like" it or "know better than" what I picked and are going to get me a different kind/brand. Especially when I coordinated buying additional bases or compatible items for my parents. 

DunkinDecaf

@sliztee ohhhh that would’ve made me so slap happy. All parents should know better than to talk down to anyone about diapers. I would’ve been like nah, keep your huggies. My kid’s ass must be a slightly different shape than yours. Pampers are the best.

krzyriver

@DunkinDecaf Yeah, I've heard Huggies is great for babies with larger booties. Z was a chunker, but he had no booty. Especially now that he's a twig. But diapers (and bottles and swings and pacifiers and EVERYTHING) are all trial and error. Just cause you love it and it worked for your kid doesn't mean I'll love it.

sliztee

My patience is nonexistent and there is a very weak filter on my mouth these days. Those with opinions about the products I utilize and how I raise my child, BE WARNED. @DunkinDecaf

DunkinDecaf

@sliztee