Where do your parents babysit? And am I an a-hole? Lol

mandi12

So for babysitting I've always dropped my daughter off at my parents/in laws houses or we meet so they can take her home.  It works out fine for the most part. And really they only pick up a day here and there during the school year and once a week when school is out. 
So that's the backstory. 
On to my dilemma. Lol I've been working 50 hr weeks lately and theres no time to begin with since we both work full time. Plus in order to have a functional child during the day I need to get her to bed pretty early bc we get up at 5. Well I've worked out 1 day a week w my dad during summer. My moms I can swing by on the way home but my dad is an hour away and i get off work during rush hour. So even tho work is on the way out there it works out to maybe 2 hrs total of driving in rush hour traffic. We get home after her bed time and have to stop for fast food for dinner in order to stay close to our normal schedule. So I asked him to meet me after work.  Well he's not trying to drive in rush hour traffic. So I offered my husband to get her since that buys us another half hour so it's only the beginning of rush hour. Well my suggested half way point is too far.  We need to come closer to him... 
I feel bad but I think I'm gonna skip explaining my logic again and just tell him I can have my mom watch her and he can have every other week. 

Does everyone else drop off and pick up at grandma/grandpas house or is it more common to have them over? I feel like I'm being reasonable asking for help keeping our routine.

meggyme

mandi12 said:

So for babysitting I've always dropped my daughter off at my parents/in laws houses or we meet so they can take her home.  It works out fine for the most part. And really they only pick up a day here and there during the school year and once a week when school is out. 
So that's the backstory. 
On to my dilemma. Lol I've been working 50 hr weeks lately and theres no time to begin with since we both work full time. Plus in order to have a functional child during the day I need to get her to bed pretty early bc we get up at 5. Well I've worked out 1 day a week w my dad during summer. My moms I can swing by on the way home but my dad is an hour away and i get off work during rush hour. So even tho work is on the way out there it works out to maybe 2 hrs total of driving in rush hour traffic. We get home after her bed time and have to stop for fast food for dinner in order to stay close to our normal schedule. So I asked him to meet me after work.  Well he's not trying to drive in rush hour traffic. So I offered my husband to get her since that buys us another half hour so it's only the beginning of rush hour. Well my suggested half way point is too far.  We need to come closer to him... 
I feel bad but I think I'm gonna skip explaining my logic again and just tell him I can have my mom watch her and he can have every other week. 

Does everyone else drop off and pick up at grandma/grandpas house or is it more common to have them over? I feel like I'm being reasonable asking for help keeping our routine.

I don't think you're being unreasonable, especially if it's a social visit and not you needing the childcare. If the visit is for his benefit so that he can see your daughter, then he needs to put out some effort (unless there's a serious limitation somehow, like can't drive, etc.). I've never lived closer than 2hrs from family (currently across the country), so maybe my view is biased but weekly is extremely often especially if it's causing you trouble and taking a lot of time.

lillywonderland

@mandi12 I second what @meggyme has told you.  I also don't think you are being unreasonable.  You have tried to find a compromise, but is sounds like your Dad is unwilling to make any changes. 

My MIL watches our son (13 mo) at our house a 3 days a week. She only lives 5-10 minutes away, but we have most of his "stuff" at our house which makes it easier.  She also knows how crazy traffic is here (SoCal) and how we like to keep him on a schedule also. 

nackie

My parents only babysit DS once or twice a month, but mostly they do it at our house. If it’s going to be an all day thing, they might start at our place and then take him to theirs where we pick him up. But the only live half an hour away. 
I dont think you’re being unreasonable at all in trying to keep to your schedule. That’s important when theyre little!