I always use the expectant mother spots, and have since roughly the end of 1st trimester. I’m only doing this once, and I look at it as an entitlement. That said- I don’t typically shop during the busy times at most stores, so there are plenty of convenient spots.
This may be an FFFC, but I am seriously considering stealing one of the BRU expectant mother signs after the last day the local store is open...
@krzyriver my UO is the same as yours lol I LOVE all the smart ass little sayings on shirts (my own and the kiddos). DS had a onesie that said "dude, tell your gf to stop staring at me" and "Trouble is my middle name" I still think it's hilarious! He currently has a tee that says "Caution: I wreck things!" And it's totally fitting! I totally think some cross the line for sure and wouldn't let the kiddos wear them. But I love a good smart ass shirt. Character clothes, we mostly limit to Pjs. He did have 1 Mickey onsie (his birthday onsie because he's obsessed with Mickey. And it made him look like he was dressed as Mickey.) And has 1 Mickey and Pluto tee that he plays in around here. I also love all things glittery, frilly and shades of pink and purple! (And polka dots!) I do totally want them in moderation (she also has a bunch of blues, yellows and blacks currently), and there is definitely a bunch of Ds's very "boy" type outfits mixed in her growing wardrobe. No regrets I am (and always have been) the biggest jumble of everything possible, and want the kids to be as well.
Purple is not a girl color any more than red is a boy color.
The only reason pink is a girl color and blue is a boy color is those are colors that society has assigned to babies to distinguish boy babies from girl babies because people are uncomfortable not being able to put babies into gender boxes.
(Oh shit- where did that soap box come from? I thought I left it at home.)
@knottieamusements was that general, or directed towards me? Because I definitely didn't say anything was a certain sex's color. Just that I loved those colors/things. That's also why "boy" was in parentheses. Because they are what most people would associate as being boys clothing, but it's shit I bought/kept because I liked it. Lol We are huge on not labeling things male/boy, female/girl. (My nephews we're horrible about the "it's a boy/girl thing", and I refused to let them keep that mindset or spread it to my kids. They now happily know colors are just colors, and both wear pink lol) I spent my whole life fighting against being told I couldn't do "boy" things (got to love tiny small minded towns in the Midwest!), We refuse to continue that crap.
That being said, my husband wouldn't wear purple or pink. But to be honest and fair, he will not wear anything but black, white and gray shirts. Literally.
@cdepperschmidt Yes! I don’t want all the pink! And don’t get me started on the cut of girl clothes. Their bodies are almost identical to boys bodies, so why the eff are their shirts cut to accommodate curves? Why are their shorts so freaking short? They do not have bodies that need these kinds of cuts - they are little girls! Save that stuff for when they’re older - I shouldn’t have to worry about the way my 4 year old sits because her shorts are so short you can see up them - let her play!!
@MissBridg I hate that! One time I saw a woman with a kid that had to be 8 or 9 with one of those carts... and the kid was walking - the seat had her purse in it! All while I was trying to shop with 2 18-month olds. I will only ever use one with this baby if it’s a slow time and there are at least 2 other carts available. After having twins, I just can’t take those carts from somebody that really needs it.
@kiwi2628 I get the phone thing, but since having kids, mine is always out & I check it whenever it makes a noise to make sure it isnt a babysitter. I won’t sit there texting (unless it’s the babysitter) or even answer calls, and definitely no Facebook - I hate all that, but I get needing to check in case it’s something with the kids that I’d either need to answer or need to leave. I will put it away if the kids are with dad though - babysitters are helping out, he’s just parenting. I get annoyed when other people do it though (unless their kids are also with a babysitter).
RE: pregnant/parents with young kids parking - I use them while pregnant and get annoyed when they’re full, even if it’s other people that also deserve to use them, yay hormones. When I have the kids with me I prefer not to use those spots and instead opt for spaces as close to the cart corral as possible (unless I’m just running in for a few things and won’t be coming back out with a cart). It’s so much more convenient to walk the few extra feet going in than trying to juggle everything I bought, the cart and the kids and then have to walk back to the store to return the cart or the same distance away from the store to get to the closest cart corral. I used to have trouble deciding how to return the cart if I was in a spot near the store - do I leave the kids in the car alone? Take them with me to the corral and then have to carry them back? I think the young children parking spots should be immediately next to the cart corrals - it just makes more sense!
@knottieamusements Until your boy’s favorite color is purple and you realize you can find exactly 3 shirts in the boys department that color and the girls clothes are all cut funny because apparently girls bodies have curves when they’re toddlers. *I promise I won’t rant about it again*
A friend of mine had twins last year and she actually got a temporary disabled tag for her car because of it. So since it got approved, technically pregnancy is a disability!
Might just have to look into that the farther I get along!! I love the expectant mother parking but they're only at bru, And one supermarket has a mother with small child parking.. I feel like if I had the disability tag I'd intentionally look for the farthest one from the store so other people who needed it more could be closer but I'd still be happy to use it.
@purplegoldfish2 yes I have absolutely noticed a difference in the way clothes that are in the boy vs girl sections fit. In my case with my 18 month old, the girl section clothes fit her body much better than boy section clothes labeled the same size. I stopped buying in the boys section around 9 months because the tops seemed wide and would fall off at her shoulder and the pants fit her waist, but were much too long. I know that the percentile growth charts are different for boys vs girls, so maybe it has something to do with that? I do agree that there is no need to make curve flattering shirts and tops with keyholes in the back. I avoid buying those when I see them.
@knottieamusements so if it doesn’t matter what color your child wears, why only buy “boy” clothes at the sale? Would you be willing to buy “girl” clothes that are purple/green/blue/etc? I guess I’m not sure which soapbox you’re standing on. I get the feeling you’re against girl clothes, but then you gave the vibe that it doesn’t matter and we shouldn’t enforce stereotypes. Just looking for clarification.
I fully plan in putting both babies in whatever outfit I grab from the dresser honestly. With MIL so against boys in pink it fuels my fire to make sure he wears pink when we visit the first few times.. I don't think colors should matter, DH's favorite color is purple and his favorite animal is a flamingo, so if I can find something that's not a straight up skirt/dress with a flamingo on it, sure I'll put it on DS. And if I get some camo or darker colors they can go on DD! Why should it matter what color they wear? They're babies, they have no concept of what color belongs to what gender
My UO is that you shouldn’t be allowed to post about your kid’s bowel movement (with picture no less). No one needs to see your daughter’s diaper blowout or the picture of your son’s “first poopy in the potty.” You posted a turd. A TURD! Be proud with your significant other and tell your kid how proud you are, not all of Facebook.
edited for spelling
Me: 33 DH: 31 Location: Castle Rock, CO DD: 10.13.18 baby #2 due: 7.14.20
Wtf? No one needs to know about my kid's bowel movements other than my partner and possibly my kids Dr. Have we celebrated poop? Sure, especially when we were having issues. But the world does not need to know or see!
I would like to think it's a popular opinion to not enjoy social media pictures and posts about bowel movements!
Here's a new one..I dont like all the acronyms. I just like spelling everything out. But I'm an English teacher so perhaps the preservation of the English language is my thing.
@BabyRobbinsAdventure it’s weird because boy clothes are bigger than girl clothes, but girls, in general, are bigger than boys until puberty. If you want to shop in the boys department for your girl you’d need to go down a size or 2 from what you’re used to buying. My rant was more about if you buy the same size clothes (like shoulders are the same on the clothes or the waist is the same size, not number size) the girls are smaller - shirts are narrower and shorter, shorts are generally much shorter. I have friends with b/g twins that are pretty much the same size and they tell me about the struggle getting child appropriate clothes for their girl.
I prefer to buy ODD's clothes in the boy's department because she's very tall with long legs but super skinny with a small waist. Buying pants / shorts that fit her waist size in boys' clothing results in pants / shorts that also fit her leg length since the shorts are longer. Girl's shorts that fit her waist size always seem entirely too short.
Ladybug - April 2013 Dandelion - October 2018 Angel "Aurora" - July 2020 Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021 Angel "Maxine" - January 2022 Angel "Violet" - March 2022 Baby Dove due March 2023
I prefer to buy ODD's clothes in the boy's department because she's very tall with long legs but super skinny with a small waist. Buying pants / shorts that fit her waist size in boys' clothing results in pants / shorts that also fit her leg length since the shorts are longer. Girl's shorts that fit her waist size always seem entirely too short.
Maybe I should start buying pants for my boys in the girls department - they’re short and I am always rolling up their jeans. I just worry that they’d be narrow in the legs.
On a related note...as we get closer to October, PLEASE DO NOT POST A PICTURE OF YOUR MUCUS PLUG. Nobody wants to see that. Google it if you must or call your OB/midwife, but please do not post that nastiness here.
@krzyriver and @jomama1618 It’s not the smart as sayings that bug me as much as the clearly made for a boy sayings. I’ve got some adorable clothes that would be great for either boy or girl, but they say “handsome little dude” or “grandpas little man”.
@knottieamusements so if it doesn’t matter what color your child wears, why only buy “boy” clothes at the sale? Would you be willing to buy “girl” clothes that are purple/green/blue/etc? I guess I’m not sure which soapbox you’re standing on. I get the feeling you’re against girl clothes, but then you gave the vibe that it doesn’t matter and we shouldn’t enforce stereotypes. Just looking for clarification.
I actually did buy a few things in the girls section, but not many. As has been pointed out above, the issues with girls clothing goes beyond the color and also includes the cut and style. I don’t understand why it is appropriate to put little girls in fashions that, when on adult women, are clearly designed to be sexy (spaghetti straps, cold shoulders, etc). Regardless of baby’s sex, I wouldn’t put my kid in that.
I don’t like the color pink, especially the candy pink that is used primarily for clothing (and toys, furniture, and everything else) marketed towards baby girls. Regardless of baby’s sex, I won’t buy that for my kid; if it is a gift, then whatever. Once baby is old enough to express an opinion, and they choose to wear such, then whatever.
So, yes, you could probably say I am against girl’s clothing. I generally think all clothing (including adult clothing) should be gender neutral, and should be made and sold based on body shape, not gender.
I prefer to buy ODD's clothes in the boy's department because she's very tall with long legs but super skinny with a small waist. Buying pants / shorts that fit her waist size in boys' clothing results in pants / shorts that also fit her leg length since the shorts are longer. Girl's shorts that fit her waist size always seem entirely too short.
Maybe I should start buying pants for my boys in the girls department - they’re short and I am always rolling up their jeans. I just worry that they’d be narrow in the legs.
Hanna Andersson’s girls jeans are cut very loose, if that helps. They look more like the way adult men’s jeans are usually cut, actually. I feel so ignorant about the sizing thing though. I’ve bought the girls clothes from both the boys and girls sections and never noticed that they were different sizes.
Late to the party bc I didn’t have one until this morning. Woke up to a FB post from an old friend comparing what is happening st the border to the Holocaust. Yes, this is absolutely awful but this is NOT the Holocaust. I had to block her because I can’t even think of a good response. Figured maybe it's a U/O because this isn't the first time I've heard the comparison lately. I’m so, so stabby ragey.
Meh, I'll take the bait: the Holocaust didn't just "start one day" with concentration camps. It was incremental things like separating people or families based on certain characteristics seen as undesirable, much of it "ok under the law" in Germany at the time. I am not Jewish, but many Jewish friends I know are some of the folks who are MOST concerned about the immigration stuff going on right now because they know where it can lead. (@chopchop25 I do not of course know if you are Jewish either, so take my perspective as just my own and what I am seeing where I live and in my friend group). I do understand your point, that at this point, the comparisons are not equivalent, but there is a valid reason people are mentioning it. I'm a firm believer in "those who don't remember history are doomed to repeat it".
@HoosOnFirst Absolutely agreed that it did not start with the concentration camps but with radicalism and smaller steps and though not the same intentions, ones that do run some parallels in terms of approach. I am from Jewish ancestry, but I don't think that's necessary to have a voice in the argument (though the people I've seen share this opinion are not Jewish) because there have been many other cultures, races, and religions that have been persecuted under regimes or suffered through periods of genocide.
I think, to your point, I'd be okay with me if these posters were talking about the dangers of what's happening at the border re: what it can lead to and the actual historical parallels (like your point,) but they're going 0-100 like people are being murdered at this very moment. And I think it's because they don't know enough about the history, aside from reading the Diary of Anne Frank and HS history class, to post a more educated statement. I guess there's just a right way to tell the story from an informed perspective, IMO?
I wouldn’t equate the border issue to the holocaust, no. However, many people have pointed out that many things happening in this country are very similar to what happened leading up to the holocaust. And while we would all like to think that could never happen here and now, it would be unwise to ignore the similarities.
Agreed @krzyriver. I guess I should have clarified my UO to talk about uneducated posters going 0-100. That's my problem. We're not helping anybody see the risks of separating the families and what's going on with these types of posts. I'm big on storytelling, and this is just trying to fight fire with fire without the right conversation and education.
edit: but I'm also secretly excited we're all having this dialogue right now. I think this is what I needed to know was still out there in people's heads.
@chopchop25 It’s certainly wrong to equate our border policies with the Holocaust, but there are parallels to be drawn about the slow start and the dangers of seeding our country with such racism and hate. I definitely get why an insensitively or improperly worded post about that comparison could be very upsetting though.
As a Jew who studiedly the holocaust growing up and as an immigration attorney watching all of this very close up, I myself have made the comparison a few times. To me it’s the mentality of ICE officers more than anything else. Watching then commit violence, watching them treat people inhumanely because the government has authorized this treatment for this group of people...the mentality that they are just doing their job.
i don’t work at the border, but even in NYC, at 26 Federal Plaza and 201 Varick street- the things that are happening to people is appalling. There was a week a few months ago where suddenly people were getting these letters to check in at Varick. It wasn’t for a hearing or an appointment. These people were already complying with ICE and were determined not to be a danger or flight risk. And they went, trying to comply with what they believed to be a functioning rule of law, they answered questions, voluntarily spoke to officers, and were detained anyway.
The problems with this system are multifaceted and growing. Mainstream media covers one piece at a time but often fails to convey the entire systemic problem. Its what’s happening at the border, the travel ban, the huge set backs in case law thanks to SCOTUS (ex: Jennings v Rodriguez and mandatory detention), terrifying pending legislation, Jeff Sessions certing cases to himself and making horrendous binding case law on immigration judges that hamper their abilities to excercise discretion and manage individual cases, quotas, overcrowded courts, financial gains associated with detention centers, and of course the political gains of anti immigrant policies.
Anyway- sorry for the rant. Typed on my phone no less.
ETA: my point I guess is it’s not just what’s happening at the border. That’s one piece of a much larger anti immigrant movement happening in a multitude of ways right now. When you add it altogether the sentiment of the leaders of this country, the mentality of officials at lower levels, the moving of the law to seemingly legitimize these actions—it’s all really disturbingly familiar.
As always, I am thankful for the fact that for an internet based forum, we are REALLY great at having reasonable, respectful and nuanced conversation about so many things like this - I mean it's like we're all educated adults or something!
@rc-cola don't ever apologize for that rant! It was awesome and thank you for it (and I'd hardly call it a rant!) It has definitely been disturbing to see/follow these events - we have a huge D&I network here so lots of conversation about it, but not to the extent that it needs to be. That's the kind of stuff that needs to be readily posted and shared.
I kinda missed the colors & clothing conversation, but has anyone tried Primary.com ? I haven't yet, but I got a coupon for it in one of my many baby box things and want to check it out, so we registered for a few things. A lot of unisex clothing, no slogans, in basically all the colours. It's not super cheap, but it seems reasonable for when the kid stops changing sizes every few weeks, right?
For what it's worth, pink is my favourite colour, and I'm excited about having a girl and dressing her in pink and bows and such for occasions and photos, but I'm also super casual when it comes to day-to-day clothes, and believe in comfort over fashion 90% of the time.
I do have a lot of feelings about the border situation, but no time for a long post right now.
@sliztee thanks for the link! I'd love to rally but the ones in Portland have not been safe at all lately - something I like to think I'd be somewhat okay with normally, but being pregnant I'm not sure it's the safest decision. Please be careful and alert if you go!
Our network just sent out a huge list of ways to get involve about an hour ago, which is super exciting. Some of my friends have also been writing letters to the politicians, which I think is awesome.
edit update: And our company just upped our normal corporate matching to 200% for donations toward the immigrant and refugee organizations now.
Re: UO Thursday
This may be an FFFC, but I am seriously considering stealing one of the BRU expectant mother signs after the last day the local store is open...
I also love all things glittery, frilly and shades of pink and purple! (And polka dots!) I do totally want them in moderation (she also has a bunch of blues, yellows and blacks currently), and there is definitely a bunch of Ds's very "boy" type outfits mixed in her growing wardrobe. No regrets
I am (and always have been) the biggest jumble of everything possible, and want the kids to be as well.
The only reason pink is a girl color and blue is a boy color is those are colors that society has assigned to babies to distinguish boy babies from girl babies because people are uncomfortable not being able to put babies into gender boxes.
(Oh shit- where did that soap box come from? I thought I left it at home.)
Because I definitely didn't say anything was a certain sex's color. Just that I loved those colors/things. That's also why "boy" was in parentheses. Because they are what most people would associate as being boys clothing, but it's shit I bought/kept because I liked it. Lol
We are huge on not labeling things male/boy, female/girl. (My nephews we're horrible about the "it's a boy/girl thing", and I refused to let them keep that mindset or spread it to my kids. They now happily know colors are just colors, and both wear pink lol) I spent my whole life fighting against being told I couldn't do "boy" things (got to love tiny small minded towns in the Midwest!), We refuse to continue that crap.
That being said, my husband wouldn't wear purple or pink. But to be honest and fair, he will not wear anything but black, white and gray shirts. Literally.
@MissBridg I hate that! One time I saw a woman with a kid that had to be 8 or 9 with one of those carts... and the kid was walking - the seat had her purse in it! All while I was trying to shop with 2 18-month olds. I will only ever use one with this baby if it’s a slow time and there are at least 2 other carts available. After having twins, I just can’t take those carts from somebody that really needs it.
@kiwi2628 I get the phone thing, but since having kids, mine is always out & I check it whenever it makes a noise to make sure it isnt a babysitter. I won’t sit there texting (unless it’s the babysitter) or even answer calls, and definitely no Facebook - I hate all that, but I get needing to check in case it’s something with the kids that I’d either need to answer or need to leave. I will put it away if the kids are with dad though - babysitters are helping out, he’s just parenting. I get annoyed when other people do it though (unless their kids are also with a babysitter).
RE: pregnant/parents with young kids parking - I use them while pregnant and get annoyed when they’re full, even if it’s other people that also deserve to use them, yay hormones. When I have the kids with me I prefer not to use those spots and instead opt for spaces as close to the cart corral as possible (unless I’m just running in for a few things and won’t be coming back out with a cart). It’s so much more convenient to walk the few extra feet going in than trying to juggle everything I bought, the cart and the kids and then have to walk back to the store to return the cart or the same distance away from the store to get to the closest cart corral. I used to have trouble deciding how to return the cart if I was in a spot near the store - do I leave the kids in the car alone? Take them with me to the corral and then have to carry them back? I think the young children parking spots should be immediately next to the cart corrals - it just makes more sense!
@knottieamusements Until your boy’s favorite color is purple and you realize you can find exactly 3 shirts in the boys department that color and the girls clothes are all cut funny because apparently girls bodies have curves when they’re toddlers. *I promise I won’t rant about it again*
Edit typo
I know that the percentile growth charts are different for boys vs girls, so maybe it has something to do with that?
I do agree that there is no need to make curve flattering shirts and tops with keyholes in the back. I avoid buying those when I see them.
@knottieamusements so if it doesn’t matter what color your child wears, why only buy “boy” clothes at the sale? Would you be willing to buy “girl” clothes that are purple/green/blue/etc? I guess I’m not sure which soapbox you’re standing on. I get the feeling you’re against girl clothes, but then you gave the vibe that it doesn’t matter and we shouldn’t enforce stereotypes. Just looking for clarification.
edited for spelling
Me: 33 DH: 31
Location: Castle Rock, CO
DD: 10.13.18
baby #2 due: 7.14.20
@sarahzett I don't think that is a UO, that's frickin gross!
Here's a new one..I dont like all the acronyms. I just like spelling everything out. But I'm an English teacher so perhaps the preservation of the English language is my thing.
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
and poo photos make me want to barf. I can’t.
On a related note...as we get closer to October, PLEASE DO NOT POST A PICTURE OF YOUR MUCUS PLUG. Nobody wants to see that. Google it if you must or call your OB/midwife, but please do not post that nastiness here.
It wasn’t exactly directed at you, but given all the ranting about clothes on this thread, and your particular phrasing of:
I would more say it was inspired by you.
I don’t like the color pink, especially the candy pink that is used primarily for clothing (and toys, furniture, and everything else) marketed towards baby girls. Regardless of baby’s sex, I won’t buy that for my kid; if it is a gift, then whatever. Once baby is old enough to express an opinion, and they choose to wear such, then whatever.
So, yes, you could probably say I am against girl’s clothing. I generally think all clothing (including adult clothing) should be gender neutral, and should be made and sold based on body shape, not gender.
Figured maybe it's a U/O because this isn't the first time I've heard the comparison lately. I’m so, so stabby ragey.
I think, to your point, I'd be okay with me if these posters were talking about the dangers of what's happening at the border re: what it can lead to and the actual historical parallels (like your point,) but they're going 0-100 like people are being murdered at this very moment. And I think it's because they don't know enough about the history, aside from reading the Diary of Anne Frank and HS history class, to post a more educated statement.
I guess there's just a right way to tell the story from an informed perspective, IMO?
edit: but I'm also secretly excited we're all having this dialogue right now. I think this is what I needed to know was still out there in people's heads.
i don’t work at the border, but even in NYC, at 26 Federal Plaza and 201 Varick street- the things that are happening to people is appalling. There was a week a few months ago where suddenly people were getting these letters to check in at Varick. It wasn’t for a hearing or an appointment. These people were already complying with ICE and were determined not to be a danger or flight risk. And they went, trying to comply with what they believed to be a functioning rule of law, they answered questions, voluntarily spoke to officers, and were detained anyway.
Alsi notable, The rate of suicide and deaths related to lack of adequate medical care in some imm detention centers is appalling. This is just one of the local detention centers for NYC (in NJ) https://www.google.com/amp/s/patch.com/new-jersey/hoboken/amp/27531160/immigrant-rights-group-hudson-county-jail-deaths-are-systemic
The problems with this system are multifaceted and growing. Mainstream media covers one piece at a time but often fails to convey the entire systemic problem. Its what’s happening at the border, the travel ban, the huge set backs in case law thanks to SCOTUS (ex: Jennings v Rodriguez and mandatory detention), terrifying pending legislation, Jeff Sessions certing cases to himself and making horrendous binding case law on immigration judges that hamper their abilities to excercise discretion and manage individual cases, quotas, overcrowded courts, financial gains associated with detention centers, and of course the political gains of anti immigrant policies.
Anyway- sorry for the rant. Typed on my phone no less.
ETA: my point I guess is it’s not just what’s happening at the border. That’s one piece of a much larger anti immigrant movement happening in a multitude of ways right now. When you add it altogether the sentiment of the leaders of this country, the mentality of officials at lower levels, the moving of the law to seemingly legitimize these actions—it’s all really disturbingly familiar.
That's the kind of stuff that needs to be readily posted and shared.
For what it's worth, pink is my favourite colour, and I'm excited about having a girl and dressing her in pink and bows and such for occasions and photos, but I'm also super casual when it comes to day-to-day clothes, and believe in comfort over fashion 90% of the time.
I do have a lot of feelings about the border situation, but no time for a long post right now.
You can type in your zip code and see the closest one to where you live here: Families Belong Together Rally
Our network just sent out a huge list of ways to get involve about an hour ago, which is super exciting. Some of my friends have also been writing letters to the politicians, which I think is awesome.
edit update: And our company just upped our normal corporate matching to 200% for donations toward the immigrant and refugee organizations now.
As for the danger noted above, seriously?! In Portland?! Rochester is pretty tame, I've been to several over the last year.