WTF WEDNESDAY!

cjx95

Since no ones posted yet today I'm hoping we've all had relatively good days!!

Lisa3379

WTF to my sunscreen. I, for the first time in a year, actually did my nails for vacation. I applied sunscreen, and nail polish started rubbing off on everything - the towel, my swim suit... cool. Because I really wanted bright pink spots on my blue and white suit. 

mytrueloves

@Lisa3379 when I was on my babymoon, I had stark white spots all over my all black swimsuit thanks to applying sunscreen. I was irrationally pissed off at the actual sunscreen.

jennybean80

We had chicken and rice for dinner a couple days ago. There was one piece of chicken and some rice left and I was going to eat it tonight. I never mentioned this to DH, but I’m now irrationally upset that he ate the chicken before I could (I’m working nights so eat at weird times). So now I’m sulking and just eating rice...

sammierose464

Sometimes I just have to shake my head at DHs ex wife. Tonight she asked me about splitting the cost of one week of day camp in August that she thought SS would like. I told her it would probably be fine, but I'd talk to DH.

I decided to look it up before told DH. Found it no problem. Except. She had told me $190. It's only $135 plus a $7 shirt. It is $15-25 extra if you need care before/after. Even that wouldn't make $190. And we don't need extra care on our days. So I asked her about it. Apparently she was looking at several programs and must have forgotten the correct cost and she thought they would need the extra care.

I was almost mad at her trying to get us for more money (we already give this lady a shit ton in child support). But her excuse of not having the right details is just so her. I have to remember there's a reason DH is not with her... And her organizational skills are one thing that drove him crazy. 

sammierose464

@jennybean80 my DH knows well to ask what my intentions are for left overs. He knows I'll get pissy if leftovers I want are gone.

cdepperschmidt

WTF to my coworker. We’re having a celebration for our kids after their performance last week. It was a behavior insentive. One boy was good for band, but refused to perform with Chorus and she insisted we reward him because “he’s alwyas good for her”. We couldn’t agree because, I said that was like asking Dad was Mom said no. So we ended up flipping a coin. And that bitch won. So fuck her, because she’s totally not a team player. Thank good I only have to work with her know it all ass for 10 more days.

mytrueloves

WTF at DF. He got super pissy about me not saving him bread from dinner (pizza and garlic bread) when I saved him the goddam pizza because he likes it better and it's more filling. He threw this huge hissy fit because apparently he won't eat leftover pizza, which is news to me!, and he's starving and has nothing to eat.
Then ate the stupid pizza anyway.

jynjer4

@jennybean80 anything I don’t want DH to eat I hide in the veggie drawer. 

SawyerRichardson

@jynjer91 Haha! He will never find it there!

SawyerRichardson

@jynjer91 Haha! He will never find it there!

rc-cola

WTF to people not reading emails. I was trying to schedule a meeting for Friday the 22nd which I wrote in the email. I got a response explaining why the person couldn’t meet this Friday. I reiterated that I was talking about the 22nd. Then she responded that we have another meeting next Friday.  For a third time I said again I’m talking only about the 22nd and threw in please read my email carefully . She finally confirmed the meeting. So annoying!!

jennybean80

@jynjer91 that’s hilarious!

elothair

+1 WTF to husbands eating leftovers without checking first.

I woke up this morning super excited for my perogies (which I was craving last night and sent DH to the store for but then couldn’t eat because I couldn’t stop barfing) to find they were gone. But the leftover jambalaya that I’ve been asking him to take to work for the last two days (because the sight/smell of it makes me gag) was of course still sitting there. 

nmadjeski

WTF to this stomach bug.

My whole house as has been sick by a stomach bug since last Wednesday. I thought I was finally feeling better and now I'm wide awake feeling like I'm going to be sick again and I have work in a couple hours. 

cdepperschmidt

@rc-cola I hate that! The same coworker I was complaining about never reads emails and then asks me to read the ones she misses to her! You’re an adult, read your own emails!

KFrob

@sammierose464 I love that I have you and a few other ladies to commiserate with over the obnoxious ex happenings.  DH’s ex tried something similar recently with medical bills.  She told us we owed like half of $500.  DH knew to ask for copies of the bills and I think the bill was actually less than $200.  

My WTF about the ex is that her and her fiancé bought a new house and just told us their move date is the first week of July.  The move is going to cause us to have to change our custody agreement since it’s too far away (and 40 mins in the opposite direction of work) for us to take/pick up SD from school.  The agreement was supposed to change when she started kindergarten in Sept anyway, but ex’s house was only a few mins away and we still planned on seeing SD more than every other weekend.  DH and I are heart broken.  And I also worry about how this is all going to play out, the inconvenience and arguements it’s going to cause. 

Edit - grammer

pajamstagrams

@nmadjeski feel better!! I just got over mine from 2 weeks ago, the recovery was pretty brutal because I lost my appetite and then had no energy.

krzyriver

WTF to my H. I texted him last night before I left work. I told him I feel like poop and I'm going to bed when I get home. I told him to ask my mom to drop of Z and to make dinner for himself and E whenever they're hungry cause I won't eat. I told him multiple times that my head was pounding and I felt like I was going to pass out.

What does he do? He waits until I'm on my way home to start dinner so I'll eat. I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I stayed up. Well he wasn't done when I got there, so he starts asking for help. I ended up chopping up veggies for him. Then I said I'm not cleaning up, I'm going to sit with Z and read. He gets annoyed so I whisper very harshly "I said I was going to bed and you made me cook. STFU." and he has the balls to say "Well I needed help because I need to leave by a certain time for my soccer game."

Oh hell no! Soccer is a very sore subject with me because he won't skip a game for anything. And he made me cook and wanted me to clean when I could barely stand so he wouldn’t be late?! F you dude!!!

sammierose464

@KFrob I also appreciate having others who understand the frustrationd of being a step parent.

I am so sorry to hear about how their move will affect you. Hopefully you guys can get an agreement that works well for all of you, but especially SD. I don't think some parents think about how things like that affect their kids. SS was so upset just because DH now works an hour later and his gpa has to pick him up because he loses time with DH. 

DH and I know our moving options are limited beva of SS. We also know that I have to make career sacrifices (an international assignment) because SS is more important.

krzyriver

@KFrob Oh man, that sucks, I'm sorry. It's hard when you don't have custody and you're at the mercy of what the ex wants and does. I don't recall what state your in, but as far as the court is concerned, they typically make the custodial parent work with the noncustodial since it was their choice to move so far away. But I realize that's easier said than done and sometimes it just isn't possible. Those situations are so hard because both families need to do what's best for themselves and the kids are always affected by it. Edited because apparently I don't know the difference between their and they're anymore. Lol

KFrob

Thanks @krzyriver and @sammierose464.  DH's ex is super selfish and definitely doesn't think about how changes affect SD and it drives me insane  When they started the house search she did check with us to see how far we would be comfortable with and the town they settled on was sort of a compromise so I do appreciate that.  The way DH and ex wrote their agreement was that we would have SD 50% of the week until she started kindergarten and then it would be every other weekend, but technically still shared custody and with the intention of having SD much more often than every other weekend.  Hopefully everything works out and we can settle on something that works for everyone and is best for SD with limited drama. 

@krzyriver I can commiserate with the husband and sports.  When I first met DH he was playing softball one night, basketball one night, and lacrosse two nights a week.  We're down to lacrosse two nights a week over the summer but we have had the discussion about feeling like lacrosse is more important than family.  Reading your post made me stabby. I feel terrible complaining since I feel like DH is the best 99.9% of the time but he likes to be busy and tends to over commit himself.

pajamstagrams

+1 to the SOs and their "sports". Back when we were dating, DH was big into raiding on WOW so that took up some time (3 HOURS FOR A RAID?!?!). Thankfully he doesn't do it anymore, but I still remember how much it sucked.

sammierose464

My previous BF and I broke up, in part, because of his social calendar. Every Friday for so many months was hockey and every other Saturday for certain months was bowling. I couldn't joint the bowling team because it was already set and full. When I only got to see him Fri-Sun it drove me crazy that we never had evenings together. And he'd only miss his sports for things he wanted.

Hopefully you guys are able to find something that works. I don't think some other parents realize how hard it is for the co-parent to be without their kid too.

quiltandknit

+1 for SO’s way into sports. We have to plan our daily activities around DH’s running or biking plans because he won’t miss or rearrange his workouts. I am trying to be patient now because that should end when baby arrives. If I hear at all “I can’t do xyz because I have to run/ride” I will kill him.

krzyriver

@KFrob Ugh, yes. When we met, he was playing like 6 games a week! Now we're down to Wednesday and Thursday, but because we work so late and the games are 30ish minutes away, that's the whole night. So sometimes we just don't see him from Wednesday night to Friday night. And he gets it in his head that he can NOT miss because he made a commitment. There's been more than one occasion where he went when he should've been home because of whatever was going on and I'm super resentful of it now. And it's annoying because he's not like that. There's just something about soccer that makes him DUMB! Lol

nmadjeski

@jemmerjams thanks!! I'm praying it's almost over, I dont think I can do another week of this! Lol

I'm so grateful that SO kids are older now and we dont have to deal with his ex wife hardly ever anymore. @KFrob I hope you guys come to an agreement that works for all of you and SD asap. It's so frustrating when the other parent is selfish like that. 

chyvie

Our AC heat pump broke on the week from hell two weeks ago. We finally got it fixed and it is $1,000 later! Why couldn't it break in August when we moved out?! 

SweetSweetTooth

I feel horrible saying this but I love my husband so much more after reading all these posts but I will clarify there are many times he makes me stabby still!! 

sliztee

Same @SweetSweetTooth, except for the stabby part.

purplegoldfish2

@rc-cola ugh! I hate that! I once got reprimanded at work by one project manager because of my poor communication to another project manager about a project. I had to call the second pm and ask him what wasn’t clear about my email and every single question he asked, my answer started with, “As it says in the email...” and then read the email to him.  The only thing that wasn’t in the email was something that he asked me specifically not to include in the email. I was livid and had to tell the first pm what happened because he asked me to report back. The first pm then told me to micromanage myself for the second pm. I refused.  So glad I don’t work there anymore.

@KFrob I’m sorry that’s happening. Hopefully you guys can work something out so you can see her as much as you have been.

AFM: WTF is with our food lately? The milk spoiled again before the expiration date! This time I smelled it first because it was questionable yesterday, but still, it wasn’t gone!  And then I went to use some of the wegmans premade mashed potatoes for dinner and the package has mold in it!  It’s dated for the 11th, so it should have been fine.  Now I don’t know if I’m just having some bad luck or there is something wrong with our 3 year old refrigerator. Ugh!

pumpkinpancake

@purplegoldfish2 last week we had to throw out an entire block of cheddar from Costco because it had mold growing all over it, when we had only opened it less than a week before! I don’t know what happened with that one - usually that cheese is fine until we finish it with no mold! I also just went to make a cup of tea with milk I only bought on Monday, and it curdled in my tea even though it doesn’t expire for another week plus 

pajamstagrams

@purplegoldfish2 we recently kept having food go bad super quick, and weeks into that frustration I realized our fridge temp had been bumped up to like 46F. Since we bumped it back down to mid 30s, it's been soooooo much better.

purplegoldfish2

@jemmerjams thanks! I just checked and it is on the cold side of the recommended temp, but it was a good suggestion to check it!

chyvie

Well Ontarians just elected a moron of a premier Doug Ford ( brother to Toronto's old mayor who was a crack smoking criminally charged even bigger moron!) He's a business guy who only cares about the rich people and has zero plan for the province other than cutting services. 
Looks like this world is going crazy. First electing Trump and now a wanna be Trump in Canada! 

cjx95

Feel free to ignore! Long emotional rant.. 
So I've been really back and forth about posting because it's a personal issue and I usually can get through it and box it away.. but this isn't anything I've delt with before and I really just need to get it out and I'm not comfortable doing so to a friend in this case..

I've been feeling super anxious the last couple of days. I haven't felt like myself, I've been feeling unattractive and trying to bring myself up, and mostly I felt like H and I were drifting apart, to the point where I was having dreams he didn't want to be together anymore.. It turns out he was drifting away from me and towards a coworker...  I caught on today and from what I found it was recently an interest to them both and nothing had happened yet.. 
I obviously broke down and called H out and he instantly broke down and apologized and we had a really long discussion about what was going on and why he wanted to pursue someone else.. He said there was no excuse for his actions, that it was a horrible judgement and moment of weakness and he never saw it going farther than just talk.. He promised he wouldn't communicate with her anymore and the friend/flirtationship would be put to an end. At first I felt better after we talked and he left for work, and I really do want to trust him and just completely move on from this... but now I don't know how I feel... I know what he did was wrong but I still feel like I could have done more to keep him more interested in me... I have so much running through my head...
What if I didn't catch It? Would it have escalated?? Why someone so unattractive and completely opposite of me? Is that what he really wants? What if I wasn't pregnant? What if I didn't lose my sex drive? 

I feel silly.. I know he does love me, and he says he wants me and these babies more than anything.. I almost wish I never caught on and could keep living in ignorant anxious bliss... 

Now that I'm back in bed alone with my thoughts I'm having a really really hard time not letting the anxiety this has caused me take over.. I have knots in my stomach and in my throat. I've cried on and off for the last few days. Maybe there's more to talk about, but I don't know if I want to keep talking about it..

If you read this far thanks and I'm sorry for dragging on so long... I don't expect any responses. Thank you for letting me get some of this off my mind and into the open.. 

jennybean80

@mamabearcj men can be dumb. I’m sorry you’re dealing with that right now. 

jennybean80

@chyvie man I’m glad I don’t live in Ontario right now. 

chyvie

@mamabearcj I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. Im glad you talked about it with us because you can't bottle that stuff up as it's not good for you. My opinion is that he likely is nervous and scared to be a dad and now to two! Not that it's an excuse or anyway a good reason but he might have confided in this other women and maybe thinks it's easier to flirt with a new women than deal with reality. He may of needed an outlet. Still not something you should accept or tolerate. I'm glad you found out and can talk about this before it got out of hand. Please don't blame yourself. This is on him and his emotional state and his doing. 

I suggest going to couples counseling to see if there is some deep rooted issue that you guys can figure out before the twins get here and turn your lives upside down and you can't focus on each other. Take this time and work through it or it will never get fixed. Don't sweep it under the rug and try to make it seem like nothing happened. You will reseant him and he will think it's something he can get away with easily. 
Good luck and keep us posted. Don't be afraid to talk to us! 

chopchop25

@mamabearcj sending you so, so many hugs. I am sorry you had to go through this. It’s such an emotional time for everyone in the house, which makes it hard. Maybe he was feeling undesired since your sex drive changed so he just wanted to, in a way, know that he’s ‘still got it?’

Trust is so hard to gain and maintain, especially after incidents that cause doubt. Know whatever you decide, we have got your back!

That said, it sounds like you guys had a really good conversation, and that is so great that the lines of communication are open. Would you guys consider counseling just to help keep those lines open and learn tools re: what the other needs to feel prioritized and wanted, which may only become more difficult once the babies arrive?

purplegoldfish2

@mamabearcj I’m so so sorry you’re going through this. Pregnancy is hard enough without the added stress of this.  FWIW, I think it is a great sign that he was willing to talk with you about it instead of dismissing your concerns. 

I have a friend that highly recommended the book Love and Respect.  She said it would have saved her marriage had she read it sooner.