@kbernal2021 It is awful when you can’t take sadness or hurt from your little one. I have worked with and around military families and I always admire their strength. Can you reach out to other families for support? I have heard of them forming “den mother” groups.
@kbernal2021 Hugs! I know that's hard! I remember the times when my mom was deployed when I was little. I think the last time I was maybe 8 and my younger bros would have been 5 and 2. And I know we really missed my mom, but I'm sure it was harder on my dad than it was me and bros. I don't remember those times as sad, I actually have some good/fun memories with my dad and my brothers during that time.
In addition to keeping us all active, one of the things my dad used to do to help me and my brothers was to work on projects for my mom that he would send her. It was a distraction for us kids and I think a way for my dad to feel like he was doing something constructive. I'm old, so this was way back in the day, we wrote a lot of letters and did a lot of recording on cassette tapes and sending them back and forth. We also made things for her which helped us to feel a little more connected, helped to pass the time, and she came home with so much random art from her kids. A lot of which she still has. As hard as those times were, I think it made us stronger people and learned at young ages to really cherish time with people we love.
Hoping that while the distance is hard, you can create some very sweet memories with your kiddo! Like a PP has mentioned, if you can connect with any other families in a similar situation, it really does help to have that support!
@noideawhatshesdoing one of the things I suggested to my son is that we draw pictures and write little notes or letters and we can put them in a special folder that we can gu ve DH when we see him monthly. I'm really really happy to hear a success story from someone who has been there. Unfortunately there are no other groups in my area or any other moms currently going through separation due to military or work purposes that I can connect with. But I am incredibly thankful that all of you ladies are sending positive vibes my way, and very greatful that we are able to see DH once a month until he's home for good.
@kbernal2021 Bummer there isn't a physical support system nearby for you, but maybe there is a Facebook group or something for others in a similar situation? I have some family in similar situations regarding lengthy work travel I'd be happy to ask to see what they do for support, so does H. It is awesome you'll be able to see each other once a month! That so beats getting a cassette tape in the mail with a three week old message on it! When my mom last deployed, we had just moved to a new area with no military community because she had transitioned to reservist right before, so if you ever want to pick my brain, I'd be happy to chat! I remember when mom came back from the Gulf in '91, dad had us work for what seems like a month to make decorations for the whole house. Garage door. Backyard. Everything. Kept me busy enough because it was fun and a task. So hopefully drawing the pictures and putting them in a special folder will help your little! Maybe also do some sort of countdown between the visits (easier said than done when pregnant, I know) but, almost like an advent calendar or something where you and your son can develop little routines/rituals you do to help him have mini things to look forward to since little kids don't have the same concept of time?
@noideawhatshesdoing no social media for me such as fb (I'd say unfortunately but it's the best thing I did for myself lol.) The once a month visits are seriously making me feel spoiled. DH has done a year long deployment in Afghanistan and we got to see him a week out of that year. I got a bear at hallmark that had a voice recorder in it and DS recorded a message that we sent overseas to DH and he said that alone helped the days not seem so lonely. This time i am so afraid to record over my son's sweet message so I'm considering getting another one and letting DH record a new message every month when we are able to see him. I think that would help my son a lot as well when he is really missing his dad. I like the idea of a calander, I am going to definitely consider that and see if it helps DS or makes him feel like time is dragging.
Re: Weekend Randoms 6/2
The once a month visits are seriously making me feel spoiled. DH has done a year long deployment in Afghanistan and we got to see him a week out of that year. I got a bear at hallmark that had a voice recorder in it and DS recorded a message that we sent overseas to DH and he said that alone helped the days not seem so lonely. This time i am so afraid to record over my son's sweet message so I'm considering getting another one and letting DH record a new message every month when we are able to see him. I think that would help my son a lot as well when he is really missing his dad.
I like the idea of a calander, I am going to definitely consider that and see if it helps DS or makes him feel like time is dragging.